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"I have a friend who drinks excessively and the older she gets the less she can handle it and the more aggressive she gets I’ve tried telling her but she laughs it off it’s now getting embarrassing taking her anywhere especially when I know she’s going to have a drink today it was round her families house where I hoped she would control herself and rather than just drink and be happy she gets agro and takes it out on me trying to make me look stupid to take the focus off of her any advice would be greatly received " Unfortunately she has to want to change. I personally wouldn't take her anywhere. | |||
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"I have a friend who drinks excessively and the older she gets the less she can handle it and the more aggressive she gets I’ve tried telling her but she laughs it off it’s now getting embarrassing taking her anywhere especially when I know she’s going to have a drink today it was round her families house where I hoped she would control herself and rather than just drink and be happy she gets agro and takes it out on me trying to make me look stupid to take the focus off of her any advice would be greatly received " The only thing you can do is distance yourself from her, when she's having a drink. The fact that she laughed it Off, shows she sees no issue with her drinking to excess. If she is of that mindset, she's not going to change. Only a splash of cold reality will hit home. Until she has that experience, she'll see it as you overreacting. | |||
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"I have a friend who drinks excessively and the older she gets the less she can handle it and the more aggressive she gets I’ve tried telling her but she laughs it off it’s now getting embarrassing taking her anywhere especially when I know she’s going to have a drink today it was round her families house where I hoped she would control herself and rather than just drink and be happy she gets agro and takes it out on me trying to make me look stupid to take the focus off of her any advice would be greatly received Unfortunately she has to want to change. I personally wouldn't take her anywhere." Maybe I should be a bit more honest myself I can’t not take her anywhere in truth it’s my wife not just a friend distancing myself isn’t possible I’m struggling to trust her to stay safe if she goes out without me so I go but get the flack for it with how she treats me | |||
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"I have a friend who drinks excessively and the older she gets the less she can handle it and the more aggressive she gets I’ve tried telling her but she laughs it off it’s now getting embarrassing taking her anywhere especially when I know she’s going to have a drink today it was round her families house where I hoped she would control herself and rather than just drink and be happy she gets agro and takes it out on me trying to make me look stupid to take the focus off of her any advice would be greatly received Unfortunately she has to want to change. I personally wouldn't take her anywhere. Maybe I should be a bit more honest myself I can’t not take her anywhere in truth it’s my wife not just a friend distancing myself isn’t possible I’m struggling to trust her to stay safe if she goes out without me so I go but get the flack for it with how she treats me " Ah bless you, a whole different situation then. Gosh I don't know. Same thing though, she has to want to change her drinking habits, for both your sakes. I would maybe start with visiting my GP and see what they suggest. | |||
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"The AA have open sessions for family and close friends of people who have a problem with alcohol. Perhaps that could help? The closed sessions are for just those who are alcohol dependent or believe they may have a problem with alcohol. It sounds like a really difficult situation for you, almost like you cant do right for doing wrong. Have any other family members mentioned her drinking ? Her parents or siblings ? That perhaps you could confide in? I hope your wife gets the help she needs, also that you get the support that you need. X " Great advice, yes it would be helpful to get the rest of her family on board. | |||
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"Is your wife likely to read this?" No she doesn’t read the forums I can’t pinpoint anything that started the drinking it wasn’t a problem until she started to get aggressive with it and that’s what is getting to me. Several times she has got bad enough to sleep on the sofa and when I go down to try and get her to bed I’m the cunt for moving her. The other night we went for drinks with a friend (someone we met through fab and played with) the wife was horny kept telling me what she wanted to do to me obviously making me horny then we get home she is obviously too d*unk to perform I touch her and she gets aggressive and nasty even used the r@pe word even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong the next morning she knew she did it but still wouldn’t admit she was in the wrong | |||
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"I have a friend who drinks excessively and the older she gets the less she can handle it and the more aggressive she gets I’ve tried telling her but she laughs it off it’s now getting embarrassing taking her anywhere especially when I know she’s going to have a drink today it was round her families house where I hoped she would control herself and rather than just drink and be happy she gets agro and takes it out on me trying to make me look stupid to take the focus off of her any advice would be greatly received " My mum is a recovering alcoholic. I've seen first hand the damage it causes and the pain it causes friends and family. Unfortunately there is no real fix. My mum did the same for years, laughed it off and was in complete denial about the whole thing. We had to watch her destroy herself because she refused any help offered. What changed was one time she went missing for nearly a week. The police were involved and they finally found her in a squat, completely out of it. It was at this point she full on broke down and admitted she had a problem. She went into rehab and has now been sober for over 5 years. The relationship between her and me is still not great. She tries to be the mum she was but it's hard for me to forget it all. Until your friend admits she has a problem, just be there for them. Try and help when and where you can but never enforce the drinking. I really do hope the best for your friend and I hope they realise the issue sooner rather than later. | |||
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"I have a friend who drinks excessively and the older she gets the less she can handle it and the more aggressive she gets I’ve tried telling her but she laughs it off it’s now getting embarrassing taking her anywhere especially when I know she’s going to have a drink today it was round her families house where I hoped she would control herself and rather than just drink and be happy she gets agro and takes it out on me trying to make me look stupid to take the focus off of her any advice would be greatly received The only thing you can do is distance yourself from her, when she's having a drink. The fact that she laughed it Off, shows she sees no issue with her drinking to excess. If she is of that mindset, she's not going to change. Only a splash of cold reality will hit home. Until she has that experience, she'll see it as you overreacting. " Allow her to take full responsibility for her drinking. Don't make any excuses. Ever. To anyone, especially to yourself. Don't accept any shit. If she loses relationships, don't try to smooth things over or explain it to the other person. If she destroys something, let her take care of the mess. And if she's abusive or difficult, simply walk away til it's over. In trying to make you look bad when she's drinking to deflect from her own behavior, the others probably realize what's going on. Get support from Al Anon. All easier said than done, I know, but no one hits bottom til they are able to see the consequences for themselves. | |||
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