FabSwingers.com forum: the life style and vanilla life

By *kyblue2681 OP Woman
over a year ago

manchester

i was just wondering if any one else has this same issue.

i love sex (hence being on this site) but in my vanilla life i don't want people to know i swing as i don't want to get a bad reputation

does anyone else have the same issue as in my vanilla life im actually referred to as a prude!

which im soooo not its weird i guess the saying is true got to be a lady in the street and a whore in the bedroom

shame i can't get away with it a bit more in vanilla part of my life

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The main problem being words like 'whore' and 'slut' being attached to women who enjoy sex in the first place.

As long as there is that divide there will be the need to 'pretend' your a prude with no interest in sex in order to avoid judgement in your routine life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people see you as a prude, you've got the perfect cover.

"Who's going to suspect you?"

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By *kyblue2681 OP Woman
over a year ago

manchester

its not that i act a prude they just seem to think i should be one as in the group of people i work with im the only mum and they seem to think i can't be sexual but im not then going to expose my swinging life style to them just to prove a point its just difficult

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By *kyblue2681 OP Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"If people see you as a prude, you've got the perfect cover.

"Who's going to suspect you?""

this is a good point lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dress conservatively in my vanilla life, and do not like to draw attention to my assets.

Some of those closest to me know what I get up to, in that I am not a true swinger as such, just a woman of a certain age with a liberal view towards sex, and have needs that cannot be satisfied by toys alone. Some of them know I frequent clubs such as Chams and they were encouraged to Google it in the privacy of their own homes.

I never give out the gory details of what I get up to, all it needs is a smile on my face when I stroll into work and my colleagues can guess the rest.

They see it as purely my own business, all they would say is "just be careful not to get hurt".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Lynne) am often called a prude!! For as long as I can remember friends and family have tried getting me to attend Anne Summers parties with no luck, hence the name calling of a prude. If only they knew lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha the people at work ask if I have a fella yet, why don't I date etc I think they think I am a saint who doesn't get up to much and I prefer to keep it that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of my work mates think i am a sarcastic bitch who dresses sexy occasionally and gets d*unk

three workmates know i swing and i trust then 110%

i dont care what people think of me and dont think of me no more im past the age of caring if someone thinks im fat or im gobby

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

"i was just wondering if any one else has this same issue.

i love sex (hence being on this site) but in my vanilla life i don't want people to know i swing as i don't want to get a bad reputation

does anyone else have the same issue as in my vanilla life im actually referred to as a prude!

which im soooo not its weird i guess the saying is true got to be a lady in the street and a whore in the bedroom

shame i can't get away with it a bit more in vanilla part of my life "

We all spend all our lives being different people for the different people in our lives. My boss wants me to be dispassionate and clinical; other people want me to be dad, or brother or. My colleagues deserve my best advice and efforts, irrespective of whether I fancy them or am feeling horny today.

There's only a dissonance if, as you seem to be saying, there are roles you have to play ('prude') that you are uncomfortable with. How uncomfortable, and how much discomfort you're prepared to put up with to 'avoid getting a reputation', is up to you. if it's any comfort though, we've all been through this or something like it at some stage in our lives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was just wondering if any one else has this same issue.

i love sex (hence being on this site) but in my vanilla life i don't want people to know i swing as i don't want to get a bad reputation

does anyone else have the same issue as in my vanilla life im actually referred to as a prude!

which im soooo not its weird i guess the saying is true got to be a lady in the street and a whore in the bedroom

shame i can't getaway with it a bit more in vanilla part of my life "

i think that adds to the excitment, never heard of the term vanilla being used that way, usually mean something else

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I don't think that I am one to discuss my swinging life to my work collegues I think that they would be mortified. I work in a sector where I work with vulernable adults and one where I could be questioned to whether I am going past any boundaries if that makes sense. As we know you can't get sacked for being a swinger but I think that if they were to find out my career would be dead in the water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of us that enjoy the lifestyle have to be careful as the general public would not understand our life style choices. It must be even more difficult for people who work in certain professions where swinging could be seen as something weird. I'm thinking about anyone who works with children or vulnerable adults

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"i was just wondering if any one else has this same issue.

i love sex (hence being on this site) but in my vanilla life i don't want people to know i swing as i don't want to get a bad reputation

does anyone else have the same issue as in my vanilla life im actually referred to as a prude!

which im soooo not its weird i guess the saying is true got to be a lady in the street and a whore in the bedroom

shame i can't getaway with it a bit more in vanilla part of my life

i think that adds to the excitment, never heard of the term vanilla being used that way, usually mean something else"

what way have you heard it used then?

a fair few of my friends know what i do and one of my sisters knows (not the youngest one, she may be 24 but in my eyes she is still 7

)

my mum thinks i am a prude but might have an inkling as she came into my flat while i was at work and there was an (unworn) pair of PVC knickers on the floor in the front room. i had taken delivery of a new dress and they came free, i quickly tried the dress on before work and forgot the knickers had dropped on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my work mates who i trust are also very good friends

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

As someone said above, we all have many different identities that we play every day, mum, dad, sister, brother, colleague, boss, etc. Swinger is just another one of those identities.

I currently work in an environment where my being a swinger would not affect my career chances, it would illicit a lot of questions, and probably some derision from some of the younger, and older crowd I work with. And my customers would just assume I was easy. However, I am re-training, and it is likely the career I want to go in would view swinging very differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people have a everyday normal life ..... you dont have to go around telling ever Tom, Dick, Harry your sex life ... its for you to know only and others only if you wish them to know .. its just nice to step out of everyday life and meets sexy people have fun then go back ... with a smile on your face untill next time. It dont make me feel a slag or whore as i like the people i meet and play with i just feel good .xx jo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People think im a prude, because im quiet and shy, its just the way i have been brought up, my parents were quite old when they had me, also had much older sister and older brothers, not allowed to talk about sex, i would get told of for not doing up all the buttons on my blouse or for swearing and stuff. Im quiet because i have always been told to be quiet.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"People think im a prude, because im quiet and shy, its just the way i have been brought up, my parents were quite old when they had me, also had much older sister and older brothers, not allowed to talk about sex, i would get told of for not doing up all the buttons on my blouse or for swearing and stuff. Im quiet because i have always been told to be quiet."

Do we have the same parents.

My parenets are too older parents my mum was 43 when she had me. Though the other day my mum said I have opened up her eyes to the world...

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

K and I often wind my Parents up about our 'friends' only the other day I said I really need to find a woman to have some fun with, immediiate reaction from mother was 'do you really want to say goodbye to you masculinity' and I still get the lecture about being faithful to one woman lol Just as well I had a good clearout of the company car before it was returned though, found a couple of (unused) condoms under the seat, that would have raised a few eyebrows

as at work I was also considered the male equivalent of a prude

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