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Joke time!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Right prove you are not all just pretty faces and tell your best jokes!

I just saw a guy running down the road with a Cape on.

I shouted, "Are you a Superhero?".

He said, "No, I haven't paid for my haircut!". 

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's 4 words, 9 letters, 1 sentence and guaranteed to make a man feel crap?

Is it in yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lad hurries in to his dad excitedly shouting "Dad! Dad, I've just had sex for the first time!".

Dad replies, " that's awesome Son. Come and sit down and tell me all about it!".

Son replies, " dad, I can't sit down"

Dad replies back " why's that Son?"

Son answers " my arse is still sore. That's why.".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's 4 words, 9 letters, 1 sentence and guaranteed to make a man feel crap?

Is it in yet?

"

It's not so funny when it's real

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By *icurcamfunMan
over a year ago

telford

I was lucky enough to be blessed by a 9 inch penis .

the problrm was it belonged to a Priest and he is now in prison.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s Michael Barrymore’s favorite superhero

DEADPOOL

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By *ony 2016Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield /derby cinemas

I saw a friend of mine in town yesterday , he has only got one arm , I asked him what he was up to today and he said he was going to change a lightbulb , "that might be a bit awkward "I said , sympathetically , "no not really " he replied " I've got the receipt "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gender is a scam invented by bathroom companies in the 1960's in order to sell more bathrooms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What to you get when you cross a fish and an elephant...?

Swimming Trunks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.

Sorry I’ll get my coat

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

I asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East


"I saw a friend of mine in town yesterday , he has only got one arm , I asked him what he was up to today and he said he was going to change a lightbulb , "that might be a bit awkward "I said , sympathetically , "no not really " he replied " I've got the receipt ""

He’s probably quite ‘armless!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sports personality of the year has been ruined by political correctness.

They only use Claire Balding because she licks the right boxes.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

So an elephant is walking down a jungle path when she spots a mouse . She stops and asks the mouse if it could scratch an itchy spot on her back , and in return the mouse can do anything it wants .

So the mouse scurries up and scratches the itch and the elephant says ‘ that’s amazing , so anything at all I can do for you ? ‘ , ‘well I’ve always wanted to fuck an elephant ‘ the mouse says and the elephant says no problem .

Off to the back of the elephant goes the mouse , slips in under its tail and starts fucking it . Meanwhile a couple of monkeys have been watching from high up in a coconut tree , and they start jumping up and down screaming with laughter at the sight of this mouse fucking the elephant , so much so that a coconut falls from the tree right on the elephants head ! ‘ OUCH ‘ cries the elephant , so the mouse stops and says ‘ sorry am I hurting you ? ‘

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By *appyhumper123Man
over a year ago

hull

Little Johnny's mum is having a shower when Johnny walks in, looking down at his mums hairy Bush he asks his mum, what is that his mum replied oh that's my sponge, next day mum comes home from shopping and asks Johnny where his dad is Johnny replies, he up stairs washing his face with auntie jeans sponge

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By *oseyoudownMan
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a bird

A GULP!

Its like swallow, but bigger!

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By *oseyoudownMan
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me!

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By *ackD9Man
over a year ago

shropshire

What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I don’t want to have a lentil on my face...

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