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Consent to sex should be equal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not sure if you are following rubys case in eastenders? It was an heated debate about in the vik, it was interesting, that how a d*unken night out would be blamed of the man just cos he could perform and she was up for it but later decided to say no, whats your view, is it a dark area of who is right or is the law on one side mostly?

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

No means no at whatever point it is said and if they’re too d*unk to say no then you shouldn’t be attempting to have sex with them. Whatever gender it is.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I don’t watch Eastenders so I’m not sure what’s going on in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is lofty still working behind the bar? i’ve not watched eatenders for a long time, use to depress the hell out me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No means no at whatever point it is said and if they’re too d*unk to say no then you shouldn’t be attempting to have sex with them. Whatever gender it is. "

. Can't go wrong with this.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire


"Not sure if you are following rubys case in eastenders? It was an heated debate about in the vik, it was interesting, that how a d*unken night out would be blamed of the man just cos he could perform and she was up for it but later decided to say no, whats your view, is it a dark area of who is right or is the law on one side mostly?"

At what point was she up gor it?

At what point did she agree to be shared ?

Who took liberties here?

Doesn’t she deserve the right to say no!!

Op you’re way off the mark here

It’s ra9e in every sense of the word, it’s an invasion of her rights as a human being

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if you are following rubys case in eastenders? It was an heated debate about in the vik, it was interesting, that how a d*unken night out would be blamed of the man just cos he could perform and she was up for it but later decided to say no, whats your view, is it a dark area of who is right or is the law on one side mostly?"

I read an article about the episode. They broke down each part of the scene and what the character's opinions were. I was really sad that I missed the episode on tv, it sounded like they handled it brilliantly.

I think each case is different. People shouldn't fuck when they're pissed but they do.

The amount of women that need to be pissed at swinging clubs is vile. Yet the men still fuck them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A no is a no. No matter what happened before it or what is happening at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if you are following rubys case in eastenders? It was an heated debate about in the vik, it was interesting, that how a d*unken night out would be blamed of the man just cos he could perform and she was up for it but later decided to say no, whats your view, is it a dark area of who is right or is the law on one side mostly?"

I thought she agreed to go to bed with one but woke up with some one else? Consenting to one but not the other?

I work in an office it’s a talking point amongst the folk that watch it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No means no, simple as that. And if one person is incapable of making a decision then that is still classed as not consenting

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am with martins friend on this one that said it, not sure his name he have short hair, that she was up for it, there was pics on the phone at the party, but later she regreted it and changed her mind, both faults, so no case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No means no at whatever point it is said and if they’re too d*unk to say no then you shouldn’t be attempting to have sex with them. Whatever gender it is. "

This I've seen men in pubs and clubs clearly target the more pissed up women. It's vile. But back to the original post don't shag pissed strangers is a pretty sensible way to act

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s dodgy and one sided as fuck. Two equally d*unk people, male and female can go home together, have sex and the female can wake up the next day, regret having sex, call the police and say she was too d*unk to consent even tho she willingly had sex and didn’t say no at the time. The guy then gets locked up for r@pe and his reputation destroyed. Its getting to the point where you’re going to have to get written consent and a video showing their level of d*unkenness prior to having sex. It’s a mine field.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I'm oddly grateful for the fact that the more beer I have, the less I feel like having sex.

To be honest, the notion of having sex with a d*unk woman is pretty offputting anyway.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"No means no at whatever point it is said and if they’re too d*unk to say no then you shouldn’t be attempting to have sex with them. Whatever gender it is.

This I've seen men in pubs and clubs clearly target the more pissed up women. It's vile. But back to the original post don't shag pissed strangers is a pretty sensible way to act"

I’ve said this before , most swinging clubs have an element of pissed up punters who end up shagging in an open room toward the end of the night . It’s not pleasant , and no doubt there are plenty of men and women who regret their actions the next morning .

It’s like the old jokes such as why did god invent alcohol ? So that everyone has an equal chance of a shag .

Or I’ve never been to bed with an ugly woman but I’ve woken up with one or two .

So take the humour ( sic ) away , and we are left with what’s become a very common scenario which happens tens of thousands times every weekend . And I fully agree that it’s not just men who are guilty of what some would describe as ‘ non consensual ‘ sex . There are probably just as many women who are inebriated and happily get down to it , and regret what they’ve done at some point . And let’s face it , pubs , clubs and houses where alcohol is consumed are the vehicles which feed this habitual behaviour . And we aren’t going to stop it are we ?

So if people , both men and women alike , don’t want non consensual sex , don’t drink so much that you no longer have control over consent . It’s not rocket science is it ? If you can’t drive safely , nor can you give consent safely , so don’t have sex .

But of course , tens of thousands of people will , every weekend , and 99% of the time it’s ok as everyone’s happy . It’s the 1% who drink too much and deeply regret what they’ve done when they sober up . So much so they claim it wasn’t their fault as they were pissed . Well who’s fault was that then ? They willingly got pissed , and willingly at the time did what they did . Are they gonna sue the pub , the brewery , the maker of the alcohol , and the person they happily shagged while d*unk ? No , just the person or persons who they had sex with , and there’s every chance that that person will get done , and in most cases I think that is a nonsense . And I know there will be plenty of you that think I’m wrong , but I don’t really care . I don’t drink at all , and I certainly don’t have sex with people who are d*unk either .

But plenty do , sadly . And it’s both parties who are at fault in my opinion .

The only exception would be a sober person taking advantage of a pissed up person , but in the majority of cases both parties have been drinking .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No means no at whatever point it is said and if they’re too d*unk to say no then you shouldn’t be attempting to have sex with them. Whatever gender it is.

This I've seen men in pubs and clubs clearly target the more pissed up women. It's vile. But back to the original post don't shag pissed strangers is a pretty sensible way to act

I’ve said this before , most swinging clubs have an element of pissed up punters who end up shagging in an open room toward the end of the night . It’s not pleasant , and no doubt there are plenty of men and women who regret their actions the next morning .

It’s like the old jokes such as why did god invent alcohol ? So that everyone has an equal chance of a shag .

Or I’ve never been to bed with an ugly woman but I’ve woken up with one or two .

So take the humour ( sic ) away , and we are left with what’s become a very common scenario which happens tens of thousands times every weekend . And I fully agree that it’s not just men who are guilty of what some would describe as ‘ non consensual ‘ sex . There are probably just as many women who are inebriated and happily get down to it , and regret what they’ve done at some point . And let’s face it , pubs , clubs and houses where alcohol is consumed are the vehicles which feed this habitual behaviour . And we aren’t going to stop it are we ?

So if people , both men and women alike , don’t want non consensual sex , don’t drink so much that you no longer have control over consent . It’s not rocket science is it ? If you can’t drive safely , nor can you give consent safely , so don’t have sex .

But of course , tens of thousands of people will , every weekend , and 99% of the time it’s ok as everyone’s happy . It’s the 1% who drink too much and deeply regret what they’ve done when they sober up . So much so they claim it wasn’t their fault as they were pissed . Well who’s fault was that then ? They willingly got pissed , and willingly at the time did what they did . Are they gonna sue the pub , the brewery , the maker of the alcohol , and the person they happily shagged while d*unk ? No , just the person or persons who they had sex with , and there’s every chance that that person will get done , and in most cases I think that is a nonsense . And I know there will be plenty of you that think I’m wrong , but I don’t really care . I don’t drink at all , and I certainly don’t have sex with people who are d*unk either .

But plenty do , sadly . And it’s both parties who are at fault in my opinion .

The only exception would be a sober person taking advantage of a pissed up person , but in the majority of cases both parties have been drinking ."

Spot on. Regret sex doesn’t constitute r@pe but unfortunately that’s what the man is arrested for when the woman regrets her actions and calls the police even tho she consented at the time. If the guy wakes up and also regrets it there’s fuck all he can do about it.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I saw the episodes ....as far as I understood there were two guys involved..... The first guy she had sex with .... egged his friend on to have sex with ruby too...... which she did not consent to ...

She had been drinking .....probably too much .....but she didn't agree .....

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

She was pissed as. A fart and throwing herself at everyone but went back with one guy obviously for sex but then the other had sex with her also but she doesn’t remember so how do we know she said NO

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No means no at whatever point it is said and if they’re too d*unk to say no then you shouldn’t be attempting to have sex with them. Whatever gender it is.

This I've seen men in pubs and clubs clearly target the more pissed up women. It's vile. But back to the original post don't shag pissed strangers is a pretty sensible way to act

I’ve said this before , most swinging clubs have an element of pissed up punters who end up shagging in an open room toward the end of the night . It’s not pleasant , and no doubt there are plenty of men and women who regret their actions the next morning .

It’s like the old jokes such as why did god invent alcohol ? So that everyone has an equal chance of a shag .

Or I’ve never been to bed with an ugly woman but I’ve woken up with one or two .

So take the humour ( sic ) away , and we are left with what’s become a very common scenario which happens tens of thousands times every weekend . And I fully agree that it’s not just men who are guilty of what some would describe as ‘ non consensual ‘ sex . There are probably just as many women who are inebriated and happily get down to it , and regret what they’ve done at some point . And let’s face it , pubs , clubs and houses where alcohol is consumed are the vehicles which feed this habitual behaviour . And we aren’t going to stop it are we ?

So if people , both men and women alike , don’t want non consensual sex , don’t drink so much that you no longer have control over consent . It’s not rocket science is it ? If you can’t drive safely , nor can you give consent safely , so don’t have sex .

But of course , tens of thousands of people will , every weekend , and 99% of the time it’s ok as everyone’s happy . It’s the 1% who drink too much and deeply regret what they’ve done when they sober up . So much so they claim it wasn’t their fault as they were pissed . Well who’s fault was that then ? They willingly got pissed , and willingly at the time did what they did . Are they gonna sue the pub , the brewery , the maker of the alcohol , and the person they happily shagged while d*unk ? No , just the person or persons who they had sex with , and there’s every chance that that person will get done , and in most cases I think that is a nonsense . And I know there will be plenty of you that think I’m wrong , but I don’t really care . I don’t drink at all , and I certainly don’t have sex with people who are d*unk either .

But plenty do , sadly . And it’s both parties who are at fault in my opinion .

The only exception would be a sober person taking advantage of a pissed up person , but in the majority of cases both parties have been drinking .

Spot on. Regret sex doesn’t constitute r@pe but unfortunately that’s what the man is arrested for when the woman regrets her actions and calls the police even tho she consented at the time. If the guy wakes up and also regrets it there’s fuck all he can do about it. "

. True. I’d hate to be a guy if that happened. It’s such a difficult one for sure!

Don’t watch eastenders so can’t comment on that though.

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By *inocchioMan
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Don't follow EastEnders, so can't comment.

For me it's not just consent.

"Yeah, go on then" isn't enough. If it is, you might as well pay, then at least it's a trade. Sheesh.

It's got to be enthusiastic, otherwise what's the point? The sexiest thing is that your partner wants this at least as much as you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am with martins friend on this one that said it, not sure his name he have short hair, that she was up for it, there was pics on the phone at the party, but later she regreted it and changed her mind, both faults, so no case."

I'm confused by this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Ruby consented to have sex with guy #1, and guy #1 got his mate involved (for the sake of simplicity he will be called guy #2), to which Ruby did not consent to. Guy #2 was charged with ra*e, guy #1 is charged with soliciting ra*e?

She "woke up" to guy #2 on top of her, so she was quite clearly passed out/asleep. A passed out person cannot consent to sex, regardless of gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't follow EastEnders, so can't comment.

For me it's not just consent.

"Yeah, go on then" isn't enough. If it is, you might as well pay, then at least it's a trade. Sheesh.

It's got to be enthusiastic, otherwise what's the point? The sexiest thing is that your partner wants this at least as much as you do. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think EastEnders had done a fantastic thing by opening the conversation.

The interesting point here is that she didn't say no but she didn't say yes either.

From what I remember she was very d*unk, went to bed with one man but woke up with another. She was passed out. So the point here is she didn't say no but she wasn't in a fit state to say yes. So the point they are trying to make is just because someone doesn't or can't say no, doesn't mean they are consenting. Its very thought provoking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you get d*unk and drive a car and crash, it's your fault for drinking too much and imparing your judgement.

When it comes to sex, if you were sober, would you shag a completely pissed woman who's half passed out? NO!

So if you're d*unk and your judgement is impaired and you think you can shag the same woman...your fault. Think of that woman as the car. Do not drive it.. don't fuck d*unk, simple as that!

My general rule is, if she can't drive a car or flag down a cab and get herself where she needs to go, can't feed herself, can't dress or undress herself... HELL...NO!

She HAS to be awake and alert and aware and engages in sex willingly and consciously for the ENTIRE act. Anything that happens while you're impared to the point of being unable to know what's happening is not consensual. And as said before, if you're too d*unk to know that she's unable to consent and you crash... You already know what it is playa!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am with martins friend on this one that said it, not sure his name he have short hair, that she was up for it, there was pics on the phone at the party, but later she regreted it and changed her mind, both faults, so no case.

I'm confused by this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Ruby consented to have sex with guy #1, and guy #1 got his mate involved (for the sake of simplicity he will be called guy #2), to which Ruby did not consent to. Guy #2 was charged with ra*e, guy #1 is charged with soliciting ra*e?

She "woke up" to guy #2 on top of her, so she was quite clearly passed out/asleep. A passed out person cannot consent to sex, regardless of gender. "
Yes it is abit confusing isnt it with those involved? I beleive that person nr 3 didnt do anything, the one with short hair.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think EastEnders had done a fantastic thing by opening the conversation.

The interesting point here is that she didn't say no but she didn't say yes either.

From what I remember she was very d*unk, went to bed with one man but woke up with another. She was passed out. So the point here is she didn't say no but she wasn't in a fit state to say yes. So the point they are trying to make is just because someone doesn't or can't say no, doesn't mean they are consenting. Its very thought provoking. "
I reckon so too, they have covered the topic very good and with the open discussion surrounding it in the pub

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By *carlet_heavenWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the sticks

UK Law defines 'Informed consent' as the legal requirement in consensual sex.

If the other person is not able, for whatever reason, to understand what is going on then they CANNOT give legal consent. Simple.

Someone can also withdraw implied consent where the circumstances surrounding consent change.

That is the law. However, interpretation of the law is not always fair & has traditionally favoured men accused. Also, only approx. 4% of reported cases ever go to trial in the UK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if you are following rubys case in eastenders? It was an heated debate about in the vik, it was interesting, that how a d*unken night out would be blamed of the man just cos he could perform and she was up for it but later decided to say no, whats your view, is it a dark area of who is right or is the law on one side mostly?

At what point was she up gor it?

At what point did she agree to be shared ?

Who took liberties here?

Doesn’t she deserve the right to say no!!

Op you’re way off the mark here

It’s ra9e in every sense of the word, it’s an invasion of her rights as a human being"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if you are following rubys case in eastenders? It was an heated debate about in the vik, it was interesting, that how a d*unken night out would be blamed of the man just cos he could perform and she was up for it but later decided to say no, whats your view, is it a dark area of who is right or is the law on one side mostly?"

If you are going to put stuff like this up then get the story right.

She wasn't up for being shared and she didn't say no because she was scared so she had every right to go to the police.

NO MEANS NO. ANYONE CAN CHANGE THEIR MIND.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I must confess this is a real problem for me.

I get told your coming to bed, after a slight pause I give in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am with martins friend on this one that said it, not sure his name he have short hair, that she was up for it, there was pics on the phone at the party, but later she regreted it and changed her mind, both faults, so no case."

You are kidding right?

She went home with one guy yes but she woke up up with his friend touching her, whi she didn't give consent to. So yes there is a case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why i dont get d*unk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No means No.

Not saying anything means No.

If you are not sure it means No.

The only thing that means Yes is Yes.

Consent can be given and then withdrawn at anytime ... this makes it No from the time consent is withdrawn.

There is an awesome Youtube clip that explains consent in terms of a cup of tea.

If you have any doubts google and watch it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am with martins friend on this one that said it, not sure his name he have short hair, that she was up for it, there was pics on the phone at the party, but later she regreted it and changed her mind, both faults, so no case.

I'm confused by this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Ruby consented to have sex with guy #1, and guy #1 got his mate involved (for the sake of simplicity he will be called guy #2), to which Ruby did not consent to. Guy #2 was charged with ra*e, guy #1 is charged with soliciting ra*e?

She "woke up" to guy #2 on top of her, so she was quite clearly passed out/asleep. A passed out person cannot consent to sex, regardless of gender. Yes it is abit confusing isnt it with those involved? I beleive that person nr 3 didnt do anything, the one with short hair."

Not confusing at all, one didn't have consent and the other one egged him on so both in the wrong and both deserved to be punished

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