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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him ‘Buddy’ or ‘Lassie’. I call mine ‘Sex’. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, ‘I would like to have one too!’ Then I said, ‘But she is a dog!’ He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, ‘You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old.’ He replied, ‘You must have been quite a strong boy.’ When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, ‘But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.’ He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, ‘You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night.’ The clerk said, ‘Me too!’

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. ‘You don't understand,’ I said, ‘I hoped to have Sex on TV.’ He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, ‘Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married.’ The Judge said, ‘Me too!’

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, ‘I'm looking for Sex.’ -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, ‘What seems to be the trouble?’ I replied, ‘Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely.’ and the doctor said, ‘Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog..

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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester

sheer class xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wkd

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

love it!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Glad you could type that hun xxx

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Glad you could type that hun xxx"

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind "

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price "

and what price would that be

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be "

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan "

this sounds interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as it doesn't involve sex and a dog, you have my blessing.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

this sounds interesting "

I'm in on this too

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"As long as it doesn't involve sex and a dog, you have my blessing."

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

this sounds interesting

I'm in on this too "

This gets more interesting

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

No dogs involved

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"No dogs involved "

Should hope not

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

this sounds interesting

I'm in on this too

This gets more interesting "

Now you need to know how shy I am

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

this sounds interesting

I'm in on this too

This gets more interesting

Now you need to know how shy I am "

sorry just choked here

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

this sounds interesting

I'm in on this too

This gets more interesting

Now you need to know how shy I am

sorry just choked here "

A big purple one?

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

this sounds interesting

I'm in on this too

This gets more interesting

Now you need to know how shy I am

sorry just choked here

A big purple one?"

no chocolate here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This made me laugh haha

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"Glad you could type that hun xxx

Shh dont tell anyone but i pasted and copied it from a freind

Your secrets safe with us.........at a price

and what price would that be

Oh I.m sure we could come up with a very interesting instalment plan

this sounds interesting

I'm in on this too

This gets more interesting

Now you need to know how shy I am

sorry just choked here

A big purple one?

no chocolate here "

Sainsburys selling big purple bars at 19p

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

But I have a different kind of big purple one

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"But I have a different kind of big purple one "

tell me more

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

im scared to get involved here lmao

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"But I have a different kind of big purple one

tell me more "

Durex 2-1 massage oil a lovely big purple one

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By *oantrimcpl2010 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"im scared to get involved here lmao "

come, I'll hold your hand

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20167

but mine is purple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

blimey i call my dog carrie, no wonder she don't respond lol

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

No 1 coming near me with a big purple thing n massage oils lol havin a panic attack now lmao

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"No 1 coming near me with a big purple thing n massage oils lol havin a panic attack now lmao"

Oh trust me was wonderful

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast


"No 1 coming near me with a big purple thing n massage oils lol havin a panic attack now lmao

Oh trust me was wonderful"

I'll take your word for it lmao

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"No 1 coming near me with a big purple thing n massage oils lol havin a panic attack now lmao

Oh trust me was wonderful

I'll take your word for it lmao"

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