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100% Gauranteed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What things do you feel are guaranteed in life.

Getting a puncture whilst its Pissing Down of rain. Never happens on a hot summers day does it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trolley with one dodgy wheel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Trolley with one dodgy wheel."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking through town shopping, always that one person in front of you that stops dead and you can’t get around them aaahhhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting socks for Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will always pick the slowest queue at the asda, you know the one. Woman in front has 40 sets of clothes, 3 of them will have no barcode, at least 2 will scan at a higher price and will need to be checked before pulling out a massive wad of expired coupons and arguing the toss. The checkout lady will want to talk about what the weather is doing even though she has been sat next to a giant window for 6 hours. I just want my fecking pot noodle scanned!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

In a similar vein, when using the self-checkout...

"If you are using your own bag, place them in the bagging area and press start"

...

(Start)

"UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave really early to beat the traffic and it's worse than if you left on time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noddy will be screaming "IT'S CHRISTMAS".... on a radio near you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That everyone laughs at your Christmas jumper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone else's menu choices will look better than yours when it comes

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Death.

And PPI phone calls.

And the doorbell being rung by a courier just as you sit down to drop the kids off at the pool......

A

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I will always pick the slowest queue at the asda, you know the one. Woman in front has 40 sets of clothes, 3 of them will have no barcode, at least 2 will scan at a higher price and will need to be checked before pulling out a massive wad of expired coupons and arguing the toss. The checkout lady will want to talk about what the weather is doing even though she has been sat next to a giant window for 6 hours. I just want my fecking pot noodle scanned!"
I laughed a lot more than I thought I would at this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You spot a hottie on fab and they're hundreds of miles away.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway


"You spot a hottie on fab and they're hundreds of miles away. "

Yup. Always the case!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go out looking shit, see everyone you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting at least one cock pic a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That everyone laughs at your Christmas jumper "

Christmas jumper wearers get what deserve

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Every wink is from a nearby man.

Every positive profile message is from someone "not currently meeting, here for forums only"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the rain theme: it will rain if I straighten my hair; even in a heatwave.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Peace and quiet on the sofa, nice cup of coffee, opening your tin of Cadbury's chocolate biscuits then Bang the whole fucking family turn up from nowhere. Peace shattered and not a biscuit left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You find your ideal woman on fab, you will be the complete opposite of what she is looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death!!! That's the only garaunteed thing in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have nothing to do, nowhere to be and you're home alone, so you have a nice shower, clean sheets, clean jimjams, fluffy socks, and settle in for a nice early night but then don't get to sleep until 3am because your neighbour's rat -faced mongrel won't stop yapping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death and taxes ..that’s it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After battling the crowds and camping out in the cold to get your kids the toy they wanted for xmas, they will open it and play with the box it came in

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