Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " Depends what it was i guess lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " It depends, I keep things on the manner in which they were given me but if the gift was a painful reminder I might | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " Do you mean return it to the shop or return it to the person? I wouldn't return it to the person, too much drama. I might charity shop it though if it was too painful to keep. But if I really liked it then no, fuck that, I'm keeping it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? Do you mean return it to the shop or return it to the person? I wouldn't return it to the person, too much drama. I might charity shop it though if it was too painful to keep. But if I really liked it then no, fuck that, I'm keeping it." To the person, I had meant. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad." Then give it back and wash that sadness away. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad." If I felt someone disliked me enough to remove themselves from my life, I absolutely wouldn’t initiate contact by passive aggressively returning a gift. Bit of a dick move in my opinion. If they asked for it back I’d return it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad. If I felt someone disliked me enough to remove themselves from my life, I absolutely wouldn’t initiate contact by passive aggressively returning a gift. Bit of a dick move in my opinion. If they asked for it back I’d return it. " That’s a good point, thank you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad. If I felt someone disliked me enough to remove themselves from my life, I absolutely wouldn’t initiate contact by passive aggressively returning a gift. Bit of a dick move in my opinion. If they asked for it back I’d return it. That’s a good point, thank you." It’ll be alright. I’ll stroke your hair. Hide the gift so it doesn’t trouble you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " "To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad." You should keep it in the spirit that it was given to you. I’ve been on both sides of this one, and if the person wants it back, they’ll let you know. Just because someone has ceased contact, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they think ill of you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"[Removed by poster at 13/12/18 22:25:11]" was this my gift | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad." Option 1- keep and put away to remind you of happier times Option 2 - give it to someone that could use it better, have no regrets Option 3- a well known auction site beginning with E. Don’t regret or look back, think of the future... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad." They gave it to you at a good time. Focus on that rather than the bad point. If you can't, get rid of it. Experience tells me you'd regret it later. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " yes unless it's diamonds they're forever | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " What an odd question. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Have a ritual burning/burial and put your relationship to rest (not if it's a puppy or goldfish though)." awwwww it's a puppy | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? What an odd question." Not really, some people attach meaning and emotion to things | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad." I wouldn't give it back to the person but would give to someone else, a charity shop, or if expensive would sell it | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? What an odd question. Not really, some people attach meaning and emotion to things" I didn't imply otherwise. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? What an odd question. Not really, some people attach meaning and emotion to things" Wouldn’t that make it easier to make the decision as to whether you wanted to keep it though ? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn’t that make it easier to make the decision as to whether you wanted to keep it though ?" I wouldn’t say so, no. If an item has no sentimental value, it’s just down to whether you want/need it. But that sentimental value could contain a complicated cocktail of good and bad feelings. Weighing those up is difficult. Will you always feel this way about it? Will your feelings get better or worse? Will this item help or hinder that process? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To clarify; my query is erring on the side of not feeling comfortable with keeping a lovely gift from someone if they no longer liked me, it just makes me feel sad. I wouldn't give it back to the person but would give to someone else, a charity shop, or if expensive would sell it" This. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wouldn’t that make it easier to make the decision as to whether you wanted to keep it though ? I wouldn’t say so, no. If an item has no sentimental value, it’s just down to whether you want/need it. But that sentimental value could contain a complicated cocktail of good and bad feelings. Weighing those up is difficult. Will you always feel this way about it? Will your feelings get better or worse? Will this item help or hinder that process?" Any good feelings it may have would surely be negated by the fact that the giver no longer wants to be a part of the receivers life though . So even if the cocktail contains good memories , they aren’t going to be truly good are they ? I don’t think feelings are likely to get better with the gift constantly there to remind you of what was once there but no longer is , and thereby it’s hard to see how it can only hinder the process of getting over it . It’s good to see you back in the forum by the way | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No. I’d be highly offended if something I’d given was returned to me in the same circumstances. " Same here | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No. I’d be highly offended if something I’d given was returned to me in the same circumstances. Same here " If you had removed yourself from that persons life , I can understand you would be upset , but offended ? Why be offended when you chose to remove yourself from their life ? Perhaps they return it to remind you that they must have meant something to you at some point . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any good feelings it may have would surely be negated by the fact that the giver no longer wants to be a part of the receivers life though . So even if the cocktail contains good memories , they aren’t going to be truly good are they ? " That involves a lot of assumptions. Does the OP know the gift-giver’s thoughts and feelings about this? Do you? "I don’t think feelings are likely to get better with the gift constantly there to remind you of what was once there but no longer is , and thereby it’s hard to see how it can only hinder the process of getting over it ." Again, that’s a massive assumption. It could be put to one side, for the time being, and brought back out when OP feels better about it. If she gives/throws it away, she doesn’t have that option later. It’s like grief; the things that are painful reminders early on are precious keepsakes that we would not want to relinquish later. "It’s good to see you back in the forum by the way " I’d say thanks if I thought you meant it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No. I’d be highly offended if something I’d given was returned to me in the same circumstances. Same here If you had removed yourself from that persons life , I can understand you would be upset , but offended ? Why be offended when you chose to remove yourself from their life ? Perhaps they return it to remind you that they must have meant something to you at some point . " That would depend on why they removed themselves. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Any good feelings it may have would surely be negated by the fact that the giver no longer wants to be a part of the receivers life though . So even if the cocktail contains good memories , they aren’t going to be truly good are they ? That involves a lot of assumptions. Does the OP know the gift-giver’s thoughts and feelings about this? Do you? I don’t think feelings are likely to get better with the gift constantly there to remind you of what was once there but no longer is , and thereby it’s hard to see how it can only hinder the process of getting over it . Again, that’s a massive assumption. It could be put to one side, for the time being, and brought back out when OP feels better about it. If she gives/throws it away, she doesn’t have that option later. It’s like grief; the things that are painful reminders early on are precious keepsakes that we would not want to relinquish later. It’s good to see you back in the forum by the way I’d say thanks if I thought you meant it." Ah , but you’re assuming I don’t mean it , perhaps I do | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just a gift. Send it back, throw it away or donate it. Either way it will make no difference to the giver." You don’t know that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just a gift. Send it back, throw it away or donate it. Either way it will make no difference to the giver. You don’t know that." He's ditched her, why would he care? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " Kinda depends on the gift... If it was something of value or special significance... Yeah probably. Otherwise... Well.... I'm not going to make and effort to track you down to return the Bic lighter you left at mine several weeks ago | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"..a tramp on chips " Never heard that expression | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just a gift. Send it back, throw it away or donate it. Either way it will make no difference to the giver. You don’t know that. He's ditched her, why would he care?" Even if he did care, tough crap, he ditched her. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " No, a gift is a gift and I wouldn't expect one to be returned in the opposite scenario x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " I would keep it and feel a mini victory. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel?" I would think they were either feeling guilty, or playing silly games. That's assuming they were the ones who broke up the relationship. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel? I would think they were either feeling guilty, or playing silly games. That's assuming they were the ones who broke up the relationship. " They were. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel?" Depending on the type of person they are. Either trying to make amends or being manipulative. Also depends on the gift. Mrs | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel? I would think they were either feeling guilty, or playing silly games. That's assuming they were the ones who broke up the relationship. They were." I would think a guilty conscience and trying to say sorry for hurting you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Offering an olive branch?" First instinct. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel?" In the OP you said the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life. Did they just end the friendship or did they do something that made the friendship unsustainable? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel? I would think they were either feeling guilty, or playing silly games. That's assuming they were the ones who broke up the relationship. They were." I would think that anyone who messes with your head and emotions like that isn’t worth your time . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel?" It’s difficult to comment with authority without proper context and to know all the background and history to them removing themselves from your life in the first place. The fact that they are now giving a gift suggests that (maybe!?) they hadn’t necessarily actually removed themselves from your life but it had been interpreted that way. Or they’re seeking a reconciliation. Or they’re just doing a bit of a mind fuck thing. Or it might make me feel simply that it’s Christmas, a time traditionally for the giving and receiving of gifts between acquaintances with no ulterior sub-plot. Without the full context, it’s all speculation I guess. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel? I would think they were either feeling guilty, or playing silly games. That's assuming they were the ones who broke up the relationship. They were." “Removed themselves from the friendship”, worth clarifying this was not a formalised *romantic* relationship, not that that negates romantic or otherwise feelings or places hierarchy on importance of the “-ship”, for obviously relationships don’t have to be normatively romantic but the terminology “broke up a relationship” may be viewed solely as such. Not that romantic relationships have exclusive rights on headfucking and depth of feelings anyway. But, you know, it’s important to be clear. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What would you do or think if the person sent you a further gift whilst still unreconciled? What would that make you think and feel?" That perhaps they were trying to send a message and may not be sure how it is received? Ice breaker? Apology? That they still care enough to think of sending a gift,and hope for a response? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Where has she gone?" Who was it? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you return a gift bought for you if the person that bought it for you removed themselves from your life? " Yes. Have done. Quite literally left everything they had ever bought me in a black bin liner at the door as I walk out of the flat we shared and walked out of her life. Pre mobile ghosting! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Where has she gone? Who was it? Estella. " Crikey, not again The original Yo-Yo | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Where has she gone? Who was it? Estella. Crikey, not again The original Yo-Yo " She'll be back | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I liked Estella" Me too, one of my favourite posters. I'd like to know who upset her. Hope she gets her shizzle together and comes back refreshed. If you're reading this, have a good crimbly. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |