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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? " a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs | |||
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"And don't go to A&E, just clench and change the channel  "It’s rather odd, but whilst applying the technique you recommended, I now seem to be able to pick up channels that I never previously had  (Curiously, they’re all Dutch channels to)  | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs " *wince!* | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs " | |||
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"Well that's not what I was expecting from this thread! Can someone pass the brain bleach please?! " Can I have it after you please | |||
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"Ah.....my threads are always tasteful and morally uplifting "Aren’t they just | |||
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"Well that's not what I was expecting from this thread! Can someone pass the brain bleach please?! Can I have it after you please " Certainly, I think I'll need to buy a bottle anyway | |||
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"I heard the buzz lightyear had its wings out too "Glad it wasn’t the springy dog. Or the dinosaur. | |||
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"I heard the buzz lightyear had its wings out too
Glad it wasn’t the springy dog. Or the dinosaur. "Mr Potato Head would have at least not looked out of place up there.... | |||
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"Watched one of those programmes where record Brits in sunny beach teen guys lit a firework up mates arse. Needless to say he had to go to a and e "So THAT’S what Katy Perry was singing about? | |||
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing... "Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance.... | |||
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"I heard the buzz lightyear had its wings out too "‘To the colon and beyond!’ | |||
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"I heard the buzz lightyear had its wings out too
‘To the colon and beyond!’ " | |||
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"I’m now clenching my sphincter!!" I would do the same to but my half protruding sky remote is presently making it very difficult..... | |||
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"When I was at college first time around, my bestie's mum was an A&E receptionist...Omg the things she told us about still leave me wincing 30 years later "Just for you, here’s one I’ve just dug up that will certainly make you squirm: In Hong Kong, a 50 year old man ended up in A&E with suspected inflammation of the bowel but a radiograph actually revealed the shadow of, wait for it........a live eel(!!!!) The man later admitted (reluctantly and probably whilst blushing profusely) that he inserted the fish to, and I quote, ‘Help with his constipation.’ Yes.....that story sounds entirely plausible.... | |||
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"When I was at college first time around, my bestie's mum was an A&E receptionist...Omg the things she told us about still leave me wincing 30 years later
Just for you, here’s one I’ve just dug up that will certainly make you squirm:
In Hong Kong, a 50 year old man ended up in A&E with suspected inflammation of the bowel but a radiograph actually revealed the shadow of, wait for it........a live eel(!!!!)
The man later admitted (reluctantly and probably whilst blushing profusely) that he inserted the fish to, and I quote, ‘Help with his constipation.’
Yes.....that story sounds entirely plausible.... "The funniest was a grapefruit ... he slipped a fell on it!! So gently it slipped so far up his bum they had to operate!! Wow grapefruits can be hard!!! | |||
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing...
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance.... "That was a gerbil wasn’t it? | |||
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"With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? " As long as you can change the channel, you’ll be fine | |||
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blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season"Ewwwww | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season" | |||
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"When I was at college first time around, my bestie's mum was an A&E receptionist...Omg the things she told us about still leave me wincing 30 years later
Just for you, here’s one I’ve just dug up that will certainly make you squirm:
In Hong Kong, a 50 year old man ended up in A&E with suspected inflammation of the bowel but a radiograph actually revealed the shadow of, wait for it........a live eel(!!!!)
The man later admitted (reluctantly and probably whilst blushing profusely) that he inserted the fish to, and I quote, ‘Help with his constipation.’
Yes.....that story sounds entirely plausible....
The funniest was a grapefruit ... he slipped a fell on it!! So gently it slipped so far up his bum they had to operate!! Wow grapefruits can be hard!!! "One of his five a day? | |||
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"Watched one of those programmes where record Brits in sunny beach teen guys lit a firework up mates arse. Needless to say he had to go to a and e "Some idiot round here did that, video was all round Facebook for a while | |||
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing...
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance....
That was a gerbil wasn’t it? "I wonder if the Dalai Lama has heard of this infamous tale? | |||
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"With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? As long as you can change the channel, you’ll be fine "I’ve just picked up a medical channel which is a bit of a stroke of luck.... | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
"gonna guess u saw it too | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season" Was his name James Herriot perchance? | |||
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing...
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance....
That was a gerbil wasn’t it?
I wonder if the Dalai Lama has heard of this infamous tale? "He probably doesn’t read the sun to be fair. | |||
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"May I try to take it out of your colon by pounding your colon with my nice div ? " Anything for you but could you also remove the DVD player that you left up there last time? | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? "didnt catch his name between retches | |||
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing...
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance....
That was a gerbil wasn’t it? "Gerbil stuffing so they say | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches" Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... "phone sex is dangerous | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous "
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse... | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse..."Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt? | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt? "Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United! | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!"City!!! | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!! "He never played for shitty | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!!
He never played for shitty "No, I was just airing my support | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!!
He never played for shitty
No, I was just airing my support "Oh I see. (Instantly removed from hotlist) | |||
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"www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XS7a59KQAw " Strewth!!! That sounded (and certainly looked) mightily painful.
How the hell did she get the whole base of the thing in there? | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? " Can you still change channels? | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!!
He never played for shitty
No, I was just airing my support
Oh I see. (Instantly removed from hotlist) " | |||
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"www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XS7a59KQAw "I saw what it was and decided to give it a miss! | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? Can you still change channels?" I was able to but I think that the batteries may now need changing in it or else it’s suffered damage whilst up there. I’m going to call out the Sky engineer to have a look at it in fact..... | |||
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"www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XS7a59KQAw
I saw what it was and decided to give it a miss! "If you watch it with the sound down whilst listening to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, it’s actually quite relaxing viewing | |||
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"www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XS7a59KQAw
I saw what it was and decided to give it a miss! "A little over exuberance methinks | |||
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"www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XS7a59KQAw
I saw what it was and decided to give it a miss!
A little over exuberance methinks "I’ll take your word for it  | |||
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"Earlier this year Italian doctors had to come up with a new medical instrument to remove a 23 inch dildo from a blokes arse. Not an unusual object but certainly a huge one with an interesting story. " By crikey! 23 Inches you say?! *estimating it with my hands*
The guy was lucky not to have punctured his heart | |||
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once  " Did it remove itself easily? | |||
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"A fingernail. *a friend, not me. **nor was it my fingernail A" Ideal for taking care of those infuriating rectal itches | |||
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"A fingernail. *a friend, not me. **nor was it my fingernail A Ideal for taking care of those infuriating rectal itches "Served him right really. Never a good idea to ask your GF to give you a prostate massage the day after she's had new falsies stuck on at the dodgy nail parlour in the high street. A | |||
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"On the Sex Business show on Tuesday a Trans cam worker lost a Double ender up the back passage, (apparently it just slipped out of her well lubricated hand). She had to be opened up(like a C-section) to retrieve it otherwise it could perforated her bowel. " wouldn't know what to think if they are looking for their keys | |||
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"Heard that someone got a lettuce stuck there once. Problem was it was just the tip of the iceberg...."  | |||
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once "let me guess u slipped and fell | |||
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once let me guess u slipped and fell"I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs " on the lighter side hes now got very clean inners | |||
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once
Did it remove itself easily? "made a "POP" noise | |||
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once let me guess u slipped and fell
I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. "id only had sex 3 times by then and i was rubbish how times change  | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs on the lighter side hes now got very clean inners " just less of them | |||
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once let me guess u slipped and fell
I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. id only had sex 3 times by then and i was rubbish how times change "That’s what I love about you. Your modesty | |||
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once let me guess u slipped and fell
I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. id only had sex 3 times by then and i was rubbish how times change
That’s what I love about you. Your modesty "well some one has to be on here | |||
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"I heard the buzz lightyear had its wings out too "Are we talking the pocket version or the 15" talking one.....To Infinity, and Beyond! | |||
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"I heard the buzz lightyear had its wings out too "OhhhMG! | |||
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"Watched one of those programmes where record Brits in sunny beach teen guys lit a firework up mates arse. Needless to say he had to go to a and e "I watched that episode, he needed some serious stitches! | |||
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"I heard the buzz lightyear had its wings out too
‘To the colon and beyond!’ "Pahahaha! | |||
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"My mum works in a hospital. She told me that she was shown an x-ray on an Adidas deodorant that had been inserted by a man How did they know it was adidas you may ask? You could see the three stripes on the x-ray True story " I suppose at least the persons farts smelt awesome | |||
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"And don't go to A&E, just clench and change the channel "That's funny. | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs " Douche! | |||
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course). Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!) With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs " Men are so fucking stupid. | |||
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"My mum works in a hospital. She told me that she was shown an x-ray on an Adidas deodorant that had been inserted by a man How did they know it was adidas you may ask? You could see the three stripes on the x-ray True story " I have often wondered how private my private stuff is in hospitals and my gp surgery. Now I know. | |||
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"I have had to have major surgery due to someone pushing a vibrator in too far they even warned it may have ended with me having a colostomy So sorry this is not a laughable experience" I’m very sorry to hear that and do hope sincerely that there was/is no permanent injury. Obviously this thread is intended in jest but I would be remit to not mention here to everyone that there are of course very serious potential consequences to inserting anything that is either too large or else overly forcibly into the relevant area being discussed | |||
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt? "London sides... | |||
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