FabSwingers.com forum: Does stating a racial preference make you predudice?!

By *oseyoudown OP Man
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

I know its a controversial subject on here but i am genuinely interested in peopkes opinions on here!

As a mixed race person. I personally find it slightly uncomfortable, in any direction!

However i also have preferences when being attracted to someone but they have nothing to do with their skin colour or ethnic irigin!

I have also never read any other cultrural preferences other than racial.

For example i have never read ‘ wont meet christians’ or ‘Jewish couples only’

Flack jacket on! Ready to be shot down in flames and happy to be educated!

Ben x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it's a preference.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

Everybody has there personal preferences and won't meet black guys or Asians is no different to won't meet guys with beards or women who smoke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, skin tone matters in terms of what I find physically attractive, just like other physical features do

It is not a prejudice thing, it's an attraction thing

If someone calls me out for not finding very dark skin attractive, how do they casually objectify the fact I don't like big noses either ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Preference

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

Op we all have preferences and finding a particular skin colour more attractive than others is no different than someone who prefers slim people rather than overweight people.

The thing that does make a difference is the manner in which you express that preference. If it’s expressed in a non offensive way then I see no problem with it. For example, someone stating that they prefer to meet Caucasian people or slim people is much better than saying no blacks or no fatties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I see it: for some it won’t be a racial thing, it’ll just be a preference. For others, it *might* be a racial thing.

But either way, isn’t it better for all concerned if the preference is disclosed up front so all parties are clear from the outset and hence nobody wastes their time messaging when they clearly aren’t compatible?

So irrespective of the motives behind it, anybody who doesn’t meet the criteria will only be wasting their time if they opt to message them knowing full well they don’t meet their requirements

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I wouldn't meet someone who excludes certain races on their profile, as I find it off putting. Wether or not its a prejudice or preference, I don't know, as I don't know those people personally to understand their motive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It;s a preference. Although that doesn't mean it doesn't reflect a prejudice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a preference although some won’t agree. Lots of threads on this if you want more opinions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would boil it down to preferences mainly. Though there will be the few dinosaurs who are prejudiced towards certain ethnics

Like you OP, I don't dismiss an ethnic as it has no affect on me. A fine woman is a fine woman.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I consider it a preference but I'm sure some people have prejudices behind it, while others will just prefer some things.

It's a fact that different races/ethnicities have different features and if all your loves/hates correspond to a certain race then it's just easier than having a paragraph to explain yourself.

Personally I think it can be phrased poorly but there's not really a nice way of saying "no big ears" or whatever.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Stating a preference does not make you racist.

The reason behind the preference might be racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll fuck any girl.. but I won’t meet them

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Been discussed to death already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been discussed to death already"

And?

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

It’s a preference if it comes to who you want to sleep with. It’s prejudice if it’s applied to who you would employ or allow to join a club etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah. I'm not racist. Cheers for the concern though.

Ps your preferences don't interest me one iota op, so not sure why you concern yourself with others. Makes for a happier fab experience to concentrate on those with mutual interest

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By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

"How do they casually objectify the fact I don't like big noses either ?"

All I said was...

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

To me, it’s only a prejudice if you don’t agree with my freedom..... of thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call me racist but I only like bisexual and lesbian ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s a preference if it comes to who you want to sleep with. It’s prejudice if it’s applied to who you would employ or allow to join a club etc. "

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By *oseyoudown OP Man
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

For me i feel it infers a undertone of racism that excludes certain groups from their social circle. Interestingly, i am quite lighted skinned for a mixed race person and a lot of people do not instantly realise that i have mixed heritage! This has, in the past led to me having to confront racist behaviour! It feels as if people are being excluded prematurely purely based on skin colour either black white asain or something else! I struggle to comprehend people not being able to see past the colour of skin!

I particulally raise the issue of race because it is what i read most often as preferences when browsing profiles! But can apply to any preferences really

Any please don't think i am judging anyone just love the debate that's all!

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

Some people are racist, whether they post it on their profile or not. Block and move on.

For most its a preference. Someone will always be offended either way. Seems some get offended just for the sake of it.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I would boil it down to preferences mainly. Though there will be the few dinosaurs who are prejudiced towards certain ethnics

Like you OP, I don't dismiss an ethnic as it has no affect on me. A fine woman is a fine woman.

Please explain that last paragraph

obviously my wife is delighted and honoured that you wouldn't dismiss an ethnic, but I would just like clarification, is that all ethnics?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I see profiles with words along the lines of "No blacks or Asians, I;m not a racist, it's just my preference" inevitably with a few shouty bits in capitals and it is literally the only preference mentioned on their profile then to be blunt I see a prejudice. And even if it isn't just the way it is expressed means I have no interest in finding out if I;m wrong even though the supposed preference doesn't exclude me

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By *hite1100Man
over a year ago

Hither Green

No, of course it doesn’t.

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By *oresexMan
over a year ago

South West coast

"How do they casually objectify the fact I don't like big noses either ?

All I said was... "

What's so special about the cheese makers ?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We have preferences and how we implement our filtering of the types of people we meet is the important aspect of this.

It's better if the site provides tools to automatically exclude people you don't want to hear from than to make written statements Imo, that can upset some people. I hope that fab will do that at some point.

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By *oresexMan
over a year ago

South West coast

People have preferences, and with something as personal as sexual contact why shouldn't they express them, as long as its done politely, without people judging them, it's not going to make them suddenly want to fuck you because you point out it upsets you.... grow up move on, don't try to make a whole racial scene about it when it's not.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Of course it's prejudicial. It's the degree of prejudicial values held that needs to be questioned, as prejudice is an action based on judgement. People are free to use judgements to keep their belief systems in tact. Whereas if they were singling out people and actively discriminating, prejudicial values would come into question.

Like:

I go to Church on Sundays.

I only ever go to Church on Sundays

The above two show one giving a specific day, the other doesn't, whilst both do the same action.

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By *oseyoudown OP Man
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

We all have preferences, including myself, i dont want to really express them in my profile but would much rather just see on a profile by profile basis! Above all i respect everybodies opinoins on here and thanks for ALL of the input so far!

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Bromley

I don’t fully agree it’s fully down to preferences, and it’s very easy to hide behind that word.

I think it’s down to lack of integration and that takes time to happen. Give it centuries and these “preferences” may be entirely gone and future people might be laughing at us for choosing who we sleep with based on skin colour.

On a separate note, when you are a minority race in a country, and a lot of people have a preference against you. It certain won’t feel like “preference” despite the people telling you it is, a little empathy goes a long way.

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

No it dosn't as does a guy not wanting to meet other guys dosn't make him homophobic its just peoples preferences.

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

"I don’t fully agree it’s fully down to preferences, and it’s very easy to hide behind that word.

I think I'm very integrated and have explored enough in my life to know what I like and don't like. Its like saying just because you like ice cream you should eat and like all flavours. Simplistic I know but I find it very condensending when people try to tell people who they should date or sleep with.

As a "minority" I can still use my intelligence to separate racism from preference.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s just a preference like any other, I have on my profile ‘white guys only please’ it’s just my thing.. I also make it clear on my profile that I’m a big girl with too many wobbly bits because I realise other people have preferences too and that I’m quite likely not most peoples x no offence is meant by stating my pref on my profile, it’s just to save people’s time x

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Bromley

I do agree it is preference, but then preference is influenced by everything. Some more overtly and some subconsciously.

Do you eat insects? If you don’t, why don’t you eat insects? The vast majority here I would presume are born in a culture that doesn’t eat insects. But if you were born in a country that does eat insects, you would have no problem eating it.

Silly comparison I know.

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

"How do they casually objectify the fact I don't like big noses either ?

All I said was...

What's so special about the cheese makers ?

LoL up there for thinking

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

Why does it have to be anything other than who you are physically attracted to

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

No, it's a preference, same as age body type, smokers etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this subjust is coming up quite often lately, it’s just a preference, just cause they don’t find a specific race, creed or colour attractive enough to let them between their legs, it doesn’t make them a racist, they’re just not sexually attracted to them, that’s all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know its a controversial subject on here but i am genuinely interested in peopkes opinions on here!

As a mixed race person. I personally find it slightly uncomfortable, in any direction!

However i also have preferences when being attracted to someone but they have nothing to do with their skin colour or ethnic irigin!

I have also never read any other cultrural preferences other than racial.

For example i have never read ‘ wont meet christians’ or ‘Jewish couples only’

Flack jacket on! Ready to be shot down in flames and happy to be educated!

Ben x"

I've seen profiles where they won't meet fat people or short people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op we all have preferences and finding a particular skin colour more attractive than others is no different than someone who prefers slim people rather than overweight people.

For me it depends on how they say it.

There's whole groups of people I wouldn't ever meet but I won't say so on my profile as it would be rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s just a preference like any other, I have on my profile ‘white guys only please’ it’s just my thing.. I also make it clear on my profile that I’m a big girl with too many wobbly bits because I realise other people have preferences too and that I’m quite likely not most peoples x no offence is meant by stating my pref on my profile, it’s just to save people’s time x"

Thank you. I just wish more people would do this

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

I don't think it prejudice to say who I want to be intimate with.

I don't apply ethnicity choices to any other part of my life but yes I am allowed to define for others who and what I find attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know its a controversial subject on here but i am genuinely interested in peopkes opinions on here!

As a mixed race person. I personally find it slightly uncomfortable, in any direction!

However i also have preferences when being attracted to someone but they have nothing to do with their skin colour or ethnic irigin!

I have also never read any other cultrural preferences other than racial.

For example i have never read ‘ wont meet christians’ or ‘Jewish couples only’

Flack jacket on! Ready to be shot down in flames and happy to be educated!

Ben x"
If you know it's controversial why stir the hornets nest? I think putting it on profile is out of order people are people best to just ignore messages from that particular non preference group, don't you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me, skin tone matters in terms of what I find physically attractive, just like other physical features do

It is not a prejudice thing, it's an attraction thing

If someone calls me out for not finding very dark skin attractive, how do they casually objectify the fact I don't like big noses either ?"
but you by putting it on profile are calling people out, don't you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm well out of order. Shoot me!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

No, it’s a preference. Not racism. You choose who you share your body with. Your body. Your rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, it’s a preference. Not racism. You choose who you share your body with. Your body. Your rules. "
the preference as you put it selects people by the colour of their skin, so as an example and a preference you put no fat people on your profile you're saying that wouldn’t offend people who are overweight, they may be drop dead gorgeous but overweight and you've excluded them and not been specific about how overweight you're allowed to be you've just said ' fat ' but it's ok because it's a preference, naaaaa putting no black people on your profile is offensive to some not all but some.

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By *greygorCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

its all about what you want in fabs journy .i [k]do not like hipster type or bushy beards .i will chat with guys that have them .but not give myself to them.we an age gap couple but respect all that have a upper age on thier profile ,plenty girls on here state bbc wanted .more than state bbc not wanted so if some one not for you move on .look again .most of all enjoy the meets you do get .coz we do

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Just saying 'it's a preference' doesn't answer the question.

The reasons for that preference matter.

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By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

OP,

Not at all IMO

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

I prefer cut men but, I think sexual compatibility and hygiene and who the person is, are more important

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just saying 'it's a preference' doesn't answer the question.

The reasons for that preference matter. "

Why? It's still a "no" whatever the reason.

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By *al01Man
over a year ago

solihull

I dont think it is. Just personal preference.

When i 1st joined i had no profile pic and spoke to loads on a regular basis. Uoloaded a face pic and got told "didnt know u were asain. Dont message us anymore"

Meh.......whatever

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Just saying 'it's a preference' doesn't answer the question.

The reasons for that preference matter. "

I find a certain look attractive, for instance, I prefer dark haired men or silver grey, I prefer a naturally well built man rather than slim or gym body, that's my preference

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

[Removed by poster at 13/12/18 14:34:59]

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By *oseyoudown OP Man
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

"I dont think it is. Just personal preference.

When i 1st joined i had no profile pic and spoke to loads on a regular basis. Uoloaded a face pic and got told "didnt know u were asain. Dont message us anymore"

Meh.......whatever"

Do you not find that uncomfortable! The problem i have is, people who were willing to talk to you, previously are now not willing to have any contact with you, purely because your asain! Sad!

I value free speech above all other considerations so ultimately supoort peoples right go put whatever they like on their profiles! And i will exercise my right to pass them-by, however i truly beleive it is a reflection on the state of the british society we live in at the moment!

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"I dont think it is. Just personal preference.

When i 1st joined i had no profile pic and spoke to loads on a regular basis. Uoloaded a face pic and got told "didnt know u were asain. Dont message us anymore"

Meh.......whatever"

So that may sound a bit strong to you, I would have said ' thank you, but not for us',if I didn't want to meet anyone, for any reason and no reason has to be given

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Zzzzz zzzzz nooooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess people are aware that different races do have, in general, a different look, I find it quite easy to tell an African, from a chinese, Japanese, Mediterranean, East European, Thai, phillipino, Indian or English person. Irrelevant of their colour, eye position, shape size, nose, shape size, lips, etc.

Colour has nothing to do with that. But if your mind doesn't fancy that feature set, it is very easy to say that you don't want to have sex with people like that but it doesn't stop you being friends or treating them as equals and with respect.

I find it quite crazy that people seem completely unaware of they and start, shouting racism. As time goes forwards and more and more marriages are mixed and racial stereotype features get diluted that will probably go away, but I find it very easy to say if I want to have sex with somebody looking a certain way without making any judgement on them as a person or treating them any differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont think it is. Just personal preference.

When i 1st joined i had no profile pic and spoke to loads on a regular basis. Uoloaded a face pic and got told "didnt know u were asain. Dont message us anymore"

Meh.......whatever

Do you not find that uncomfortable! The problem i have is, people who were willing to talk to you, previously are now not willing to have any contact with you, purely because your asain! Sad!

I don't see it as an issue at all.

I might be chatting to someone but then find out he has a 12" dick or he's married or he only does bareback or he's a Kylie fan.

People can say no thank you at any point.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

Preference has nothing to do with prejudice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess people are aware that different races do have, in general, a different look, I find it quite easy to tell an African, from a chinese, Japanese, Mediterranean, East European, Thai, phillipino, Indian or English person. Irrelevant of their colour, eye position, shape size, nose, shape size, lips, etc.

I suppose the issue would be if someone was rude about it. Just a no thank you would be ok. Just don't tell them why.

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

I keep hoping that the Mods will finally say: this subject has been done to death, resurrected, done to death, resurrected etc so many times that it has now achieved zombie status and is banned into the archives!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, purely out of interest, what two races are you? I thought you were Caucasian but with a tan! Lol sorry!

Anyway, in reply to your original post, I simply don't write any race etc on my profile. I just don't mention it!

If anyone other then a Caucasian man wants to message, he can. If I find someone attractive then I do! Skin colour simply doesn't come into it . After all there's plenty of white guys on here which I don't fancy.

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By *oseyoudown OP Man
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

"I keep hoping that the Mods will finally say: this subject has been done to death, resurrected, done to death, resurrected etc so many times that it has now achieved zombie status and is banned into the archives!"

Come on guys some people havent been in the forums for the last five years and this might be the first time they have seen this debate! Give us all a chance and you never know, there just may be a pov you have never heard before in here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose the issue would be if someone was rude about it. Just a no thank you would be ok. Just don't tell them why. "

Oh yes, absolutely agree with that. Even if they were rude first, still no excuse for bringing race in to it.

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