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Ho Ho Ho !

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Why was the snowman looking into a bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christmas is stupid…

Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the snowman go to the middle of the lake?

Because snowman is an island.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I thought you were advertising your services as a pimp or a gardener

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

What did one snowman say to the other snowman ?

Can you smell carrots ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What did one snowman say to the other snowman ?

Can you smell carrots ?"

No but I can taste coal!

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 12/12/18 09:04:23]

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Last year my boyfriend gave me a huge pile of snow for Christmas. He texted me to ask "did you get my drift ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What music do elves listen to?

Wrap.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 12/12/18 09:08:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does Mr Kipling do every night.

Fills his tarts up with cream

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

It was a cold Christmas Eve and a miserable woman stood on the edge of a high bridge as she contemplated suicide.

Just as she tried to step off,she felt someone grab her coat. She turned around to see Santa Claus pulling her back.

"Santa Claus" she exclaimed.

"Yes indeed, but tell me, why are you out here so miserable on Christmas Eve, young lady?" Santa replied.

The woman answered, "Well, I have nothing left to live for. I was fired from my job, my husband left with the kids, my landlord is evicting me and I have a serious heart condition."

Santa said to her kindly, "Worry not, for Christmas miracles are real. When you go home tonight, you'll have a message from your boss offering you your job back, your husband will be waiting happily with your children, you'll have your apartment back, and your serious heart condition will be gone."

"My goodness!" exclaimed the woman. "That is truly a miracle, how can I ever repay you?"

Santa grinned slyly as he said, "Well, there is one way.. how about a blowjob?"

The woman was so grateful she readily agreed. "Okay, sure!" she said as she got on her knees.

She unzipped Santa and gave him the best blowjob of his life. After she had finished, Santa zipped up and asked the woman, "By the way, how old are you?"

"I'm 27," she answered as she wiped her mouth.

"You're 27 and you still believe in Santa Claus?" Santa said, laughing heartily as he walked off into the night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He laid her on the table.

So white clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat.

He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast.

And then drooling felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set,

He gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide...

He looked inside.

All was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...

And then he stuffed the turkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened to the turkey at Christmas?

It got gobbled

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door.

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"What music do elves listen to?

Wrap."

My favourite lol

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By *oseyoudownMan
over a year ago

Trouble! AGAIN! x

Why did santa cross the road?!

To try to avoid the mob of people chasing him down for the lastest iphone and PS4!

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