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"I start by completing a 24 page consent form and ensuring that my lady of choice is fully briefed on the upcoming coitus and getting signatures in triplicate assuring her permission has been duly granted before commencing. I then continue by putting on some surgical gloves and swabbing the whole area profusely with surgical spirits to ensure it is fully clean and sterile. Then an exclamation of ‘brace yerself Sheila!’ before a quick 7 seconds of aggressive tongue wiggling in the general area of her foof before I retire fully from the whole distasteful practice. Then I push her head down to my tinky winky and instruct her to get her laughing gear around my own throbbing love missile. It’s only fair after all. " You sound ideal | |||
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