FabSwingers.com forum: Cheesy chat up lines

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What are the worst that you have used or had said to you? Not talking about the "Fancy a fuck" type, more the "I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make your Bedrock" type.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Did you get them pants in a sale? Because they're a 100% off at my place"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I made this one up? I may have subconsciously heard it but I'm pretty sure I didn't?

Man "Do you belive in equal opportunities?"

Woman "Of course"

Man "Mine's a pint"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did it hurt ??????

The day you fell from heaven

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Did it hurt ??????

The day you fell from heaven

"
no that's shite, show some imagination

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By *readzyMan
over a year ago

lutterworth

Do you happen to know the number for the RSPCA? (*flexes biceps)

Cos these swans are sick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did it hurt ??????

The day you fell from heaven

no that's shite, show some imagination

Thanks for your input caller

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Did it hurt ??????

The day you fell from heaven

no that's shite, show some imagination

Thanks for your input caller

"
You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welsh one for you

Ask your mate if she fancies a couple of days away, because I’m going to ‘Bangor’ all weekend

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

My dick died, can I bury it in your arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey my names microsoft, can I crash at your place tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?

I can’t marmalade my dick in your arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you sit in a pile of sugar because you have a pretty sweet ass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man "You look like you got a bit of Welsh in you?"

Woman "No I don't"

Man "Fancy some?"

Usually followed by...

Woman "Nah you're alright"

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By *readzyMan
over a year ago

lutterworth

"My dick died, can I bury it in your arse? "

YES!! Thats pure Poetry that!

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

Have you been on a beach holiday as you look really hot tonight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost my teddy can I sleep with you tonight?

my dick died tonight wanna help me bury it?

We’ve got something in common I’m fit and so are you.

Feel this (touches shirt) thats boyfriend material

There’s loads heard them all during my time as a bar maid. Some are worse than others. Although I did go home with a bloke who’s line was just “you’re going home with me tonight” don’t think he believed his luck when I said ok.

ah those were the days!

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

You'll do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'll do

Does that work?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

It's been known

Needs a lot of confidence and not worrying about getting your face slapped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's been known

Needs a lot of confidence and not worrying about getting your face slapped

I'll try that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bugger you've blocked my sex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/11/18 20:23:22]

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Bugger you've blocked my sex!

Shit happens .. sorry

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By *readzyMan
over a year ago

lutterworth

I once scored a tinder date with a double whammy -

On reading her profile and noticing a rant about people sending her dick pics

My opener was ..

"Hi i was going to send you a dick pic but my iphone broke and im having to use this old txt only phone i had as backup while its getting repaired... So imma have to go oldskool on you ..

8==========D

Then after she replied finding it funny i finished with "so how about i come over and NOKIA back doors in? "

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

How about

"My face is leaving in 5 minutes .. be on it "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow! Are those real?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Wow! Are those real?"

Used to have a competition with a mate of worst chat up like and still pull ... coupled with how many times you can get slapped in one night

As someone else said ... those were the days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but I just read the OP as " cheesy chips "

I really want them now

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Wow! Are those real?"

Or do you mean the good lady's assets?

They are 100% natural *sigh*

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Man "You look like you got a bit of Welsh in you?"

Woman "No I don't"

Man "Fancy some?"

Usually followed by...

Woman "Nah you're alright""

That works with all nationalities

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

You remind me of my little toe.

Why because I'm so cute and tiny?

No, I will probably get d*unk later and bang you on the coffee table.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man "You look like you got a bit of Welsh in you?"

Woman "No I don't"

Man "Fancy some?"

Usually followed by...

Woman "Nah you're alright"

That works with all nationalities "

Don't bliming work for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow! Are those real?

Or do you mean the good lady's assets?

They are 100% natural *sigh*"

Yeah. I have actually touched a few breasts saying that. Nothing in it just when they've had work done they always say have a feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How heavy is a polar bear ??

I don’t know but it breaks the ice

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Have an inflatable globe with you ... blow it up and say ..

Stick with me, I'll show you the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to get 'you're name' tattooed on my arse.... you know how it goes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont like cheese

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By *arfield31Man
over a year ago

Carrick on Shannon

Your eyes are like spanners. Every time I look at them my nuts tighten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy an Australian kiss?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fancy an Australian kiss?"

Down under..??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fancy an Australian kiss?

Down under..??"

Yeah it's like a French kiss but down under.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Female.. Look at my face not my tits

Male.. I've made my desision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Fancy going halves on a bastard?’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This face is leaving in 15 minutes and there's space for you on it...

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Your surname must be Jacob's.....

Coz you're a right cracker...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.

Let me tie your shoes, cause I don't want you falling for anyone else.

I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Nice dress. It would look better on my bedroom floor..."

That was my brother's favourite crap chat-up line. I've actually got a nephew thanks to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"" Nice dress. It would look better on my bedroom floor..."

That was my brother's favourite crap chat-up line. I've actually got a nephew thanks to it

So not a bad thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"" Nice dress. It would look better on my bedroom floor..."

That was my brother's favourite crap chat-up line. I've actually got a nephew thanks to it

If I want kids I think I’ll use this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"" Nice dress. It would look better on my bedroom floor..."

That was my brother's favourite crap chat-up line. I've actually got a nephew thanks to it

So not a bad thing?"

I don't know. Girl called him saying they fucked at a party and she got pregnant. He said oh fuck when you due? She said oh he's 13...

Was a shock

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

So sorry.. That's a shock to any family.. But very funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So sorry.. That's a shock to any family.. But very funny"

Over the shock, nephew is 15 now and fits right in. And my brother is still using that line

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

So how many other nephews or niece's he's given you..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So how many other nephews or niece's he's given you.. "

He has 4 kids. All to different women! His cheesy lines seem to work all right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just seen "Won't swallow my pride but I'll swallow your children" pick up line on tinder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me too two girls

Hi are you 2 sisters ?

Them ... Yes we are

Me .. where's Cinderella?

No wonder I'm single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve noticed you standing by the bar for a while, let me help you rest your legs. All you need to do is sit on my face, and let me eat my way to your heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Majority are in the mails I get

Not so much funny but plain cheesy cliche shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just seen "Won't swallow my pride but I'll swallow your children" pick up line on tinder

That’ll be grandma again

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