FabSwingers.com forum: I need some advice

By *oelDorian OP Man
over a year ago

vanaheim

Hey all I need some advice I have ruined something that was really good for me and that made me happy how do I make amends because at the moment i'm not able to and it's making me feel miserable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you be a bit more specific?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Make a genuine apology then give the person some space. Don't make excuses for your behaviour, justify yourself or imply that they bear some responsibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A relationship/friendship ?

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By *callycatMan
over a year ago

Mid Wales

Could you not claim on your household insurance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Make a genuine apology then give the person some space. Don't make excuses for your behaviour, justify yourself or imply that they bear some responsibility."

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all I need some advice I have ruined something that was really good for me and that made me happy how do I make amends because at the moment i'm not able to and it's making me feel miserable "

What have you done x

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By *oelDorian OP Man
over a year ago

vanaheim

"A relationship/friendship ?"

it was a friendship

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Make a genuine apology then give the person some space. Don't make excuses for your behaviour, justify yourself or imply that they bear some responsibility."

Very wise words. ^^^^^

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

If it's a relationship type thing, give the person some space. Grieve, and work on it yourself. In time, apologise in a way that leaves the door open but places zero obligation on the other party to engage if they don't want to.

It sucks, but it's the high road here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a shame that the fellas here are showing a lack of sympathy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all I need some advice I have ruined something that was really good for me and that made me happy how do I make amends because at the moment i'm not able to and it's making me feel miserable "
Depends what you did or said to the lady concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a shame that the fellas here are showing a lack of sympathy."
we only respond to pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a shame that the fellas here are showing a lack of sympathy.we only respond to pics "

Yeah we’re all Dickslexic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a shame that the fellas here are showing a lack of sympathy.we only respond to pics

Yeah we’re all Dickslexic "
pusslexic

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

"Could you not claim on your household insurance?"

That was a tea spitting moment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give them space definitely but don't leave it too long, apologise, and flowers, don't go cheap with them. Good luck.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship"

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship"

Can you not drip feed us and just tell us what happened x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there buddy, and it bloody hurts. I was a stupid Pratt who bit of my nose to spite my face and have regretted ever since...good luck..xx

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By *oelDorian OP Man
over a year ago

vanaheim

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Can you not drip feed us and just tell us what happened x"

I said something I shouldn't have

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By *oelDorian OP Man
over a year ago

vanaheim

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?"

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A genuine apology, sooner rather than later. No 'if's or buts', a genuine apology. Great idea from Nicecouple, put it in writing if you feel you cannot speak to them. Keep it simple. I owe you a massive apology and beg your forgiveness, I can't imagine not having you in my life.....and let them respond in their own time.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Can you not drip feed us and just tell us what happened x

I said something I shouldn't have"

Say sorry, apologise and mean it.

Accept you were in the wrong.

Give them space to think about it.

And most importantly learn from it, think why you did it, work on that and don't do it again.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Can you not drip feed us and just tell us what happened x

I said something I shouldn't have"

What did you say and who exactly did you say it to x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space"

Leave it then

Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.

Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology.

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By *oelDorian OP Man
over a year ago

vanaheim

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space

Leave it then

Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.

Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology."

thats's what i have done

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By *hite1100Man
over a year ago

Hither Green

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space

Leave it then

Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.

Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology."

Definitely.

Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.

If they want to get in touch they know where you are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your going to poo in a friends slipper they should forgive you if you hug there left bum cheek

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If your going to poo in a friends slipper they should forgive you if you hug there left bum cheek"

Noted for future reference. I've been hugging the right bum cheek. I can't tell you the number of friends I've lost this way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All you can do is not repeat your mistakes in the future on the past relationship well what is done is done you can rarely put things back to how they were.

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By *oelDorian OP Man
over a year ago

vanaheim

"All you can do is not repeat your mistakes in the future on the past relationship well what is done is done you can rarely put things back to how they were. "

I know it would never be the way it was I just wish it could go back to being that way I know it sounds a bit naive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space

Leave it then

Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.

Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology.

Definitely.

Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.

If they want to get in touch they know where you are!

I wouldn't say one apology and leave it, show your apologise in more ways than words.

Words are easy to say actions are harder to do. So rather than just say sorry make sure you show it, it's a woman then send flowers or somethi g she likes. If it's a guy order a pizza to his place and have the pizza place right on the lid of the box... this worked for me once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space

Leave it then

Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.

Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology.

Definitely.

Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.

If they want to get in touch they know where you are!

I wouldn't say one apology and leave it, show your apologise in more ways than words.

Sorry I should have spell checked that before I posted it. Damn autocorrect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

need full details before i can bestow my wisdom on to you my friend.

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By *hite1100Man
over a year ago

Hither Green

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space

Leave it then

Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.

Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology.

Definitely.

Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.

If they want to get in touch they know where you are!

I wouldn't say one apology and leave it, show your apologise in more ways than words.

That’s true. But it sounds like he may have sent several messages already.

We don’t really know enough about the circumstances to offer much more advice. But if you’re messaging someone and they aren’t responding, it’s not a good idea to keep going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you told a female friend that you have romantic feelings for them and now it’s messed up your friendship?

If so and the romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated then they’ll back off so as not to encourage you. They may feel uncomfortable being around you now. If you just give them time and say you were caught up in the moment and didn’t want things to be awkward, in time it should sort itself out.

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By *hite1100Man
over a year ago

Hither Green

"Have you told a female friend that you have romantic feelings for them and now it’s messed up your friendship?

I wondered if it was along those lines. That can be the quickest way to ruin a friendship (so is sleeping with them

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By *oelDorian OP Man
over a year ago

vanaheim

"Have you told a female friend that you have romantic feelings for them and now it’s messed up your friendship?

Nope that’s not what it is

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"A relationship/friendship ?

it was a friendship

Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.

What else do you think you can do?

I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space"

Yup. Do that - true friends come round given time.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Send a card saying your sorry ... then leave it and see what happens .

It may take time for them to reply , especially if they are angry.

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