FabSwingers.com forum: Lift Me Up!

By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I know - you’d need a JCB to do that.

I’ve had a really flipping weird week and need a pep up to get me through the next one.

Please regale me with funny anecdotes, those sarky inspirational quotes or pass on a little kindness to others on the thread.

I’ll start with errr... ‘An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone will be looking up to you after you kick them in the groin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check your phone....I think you’ll find some thing that makes you giggle for a while

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I wish my cock

Was deep inside of you

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Anyone will be looking up to you after you kick them in the groin."

Ah my kick aim is about as good as my throw aim. I usually end up hurting myself

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Check your phone....I think you’ll find some thing that makes you giggle for a while "

Ah. Kerplunk! That message makes sense now

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

I wish my cock

Was deep inside of you

Fuck me I love poetry

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

I have plenty love if you like I could put some more on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just try to remember..if at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

My pleasure. X

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Just try to remember..if at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

Ah hahahaha. I’ll leave my feet on the ground.

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

My pleasure. X

Ooh. Brew time

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Do you think santa

Will let me cum all over you

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By *ADY VOLUPTUOUS OF KENTWoman
over a year ago

TONBRIDGE ROUNDABOUTS

Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..

I need cheering big time!!

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Do you think santa

Will let me cum all over you

Is that really the question you’d ask Santa? I’d ask him for this weeks Gadget Show haul to be honest.

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By *idsBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Tamworth

Why couldn’t the fish join the choir as a tenor?

He was a Bass

I’ll see myself out.

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..

I need cheering big time!!"

Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.

My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help?

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Why couldn’t the fish join the choir as a tenor?

He was a Bass

I’ll see myself out. "

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..

I need cheering big time!!"

Sorry to hear love.

But we will try our best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have plenty love if you like I could put some more on

Pahahaha he just said moron

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By *idsBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Tamworth

My best friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened he was chuffed to bits.

(I got lost trying to find the door)

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Do you think santa

Will let me cum all over you

Is that really the question you’d ask Santa? I’d ask him for this weeks Gadget Show haul to be honest. "

It puts me on his naughty list??????

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By *ADY VOLUPTUOUS OF KENTWoman
over a year ago

TONBRIDGE ROUNDABOUTS

"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..

I need cheering big time!!

Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.

My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help?"

Thank you kindly...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Do you think santa

Will let me cum all over you

Is that really the question you’d ask Santa? I’d ask him for this weeks Gadget Show haul to be honest. "
id love a gadget show haul..i might even share it with you if you ask nicely

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

I bought some trainers from a drug dealer the other day. I dont know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"I have plenty love if you like I could put some more on

Pahahaha he just said moron

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Do you think santa

Will let me cum all over you

Is that really the question you’d ask Santa? I’d ask him for this weeks Gadget Show haul to be honest. id love a gadget show haul..i might even share it with you if you ask nicely"

It was my idea. I should cocoa you’d share it!

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"I bought some trainers from a drug dealer the other day. I dont know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day."

This has made me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gusset

Always makes me laugh

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..

I need cheering big time!!

Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.

My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help?

Thank you kindly...

Fabber can be exceedingly kind. Don’t be afraid to vent into the forums x

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"I bought some trainers from a drug dealer the other day. I dont know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

This has made me

Glad I could cheer you up a little. X

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"My best friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened he was chuffed to bits.

(I got lost trying to find the door)"

An odd way to choo-se to go. Hope the end was rail-y fast.

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By *idsBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Tamworth

Had to pack in my job at the ice cream factory.

I didn’t like working on sundaes

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

One day, a little boy and a little girl are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.

After much arguing to and fro, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have.”

The little girl is annoyed and upset by this, as what the boy says is obviously true. So she runs home to her Mom, crying.

A short time later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She goes to the boy, drops her pants and says, “My Mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

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By *idsBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Tamworth

"My best friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened he was chuffed to bits.

(I got lost trying to find the door)

An odd way to choo-se to go. Hope the end was rail-y fast. "

Ok, I had a proper good belly laugh at that.

That response was far superior to the joke

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By *ADY VOLUPTUOUS OF KENTWoman
over a year ago

TONBRIDGE ROUNDABOUTS

"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..

I need cheering big time!!

Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.

My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help?

Thank you kindly...

Fabber can be exceedingly kind. Don’t be afraid to vent into the forums x"

I did wonder if I ought too or not...

but I'm using this a tool to distract today...not much unlike yourself..

funny stuff keep it coming

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By *idsBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Tamworth

6:30 is the best time on a clock.

Hands down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know - you’d need a JCB to do that.

I’ve had a really flipping weird week and need a pep up to get me through the next one.

Please regale me with funny anecdotes, those sarky inspirational quotes or pass on a little kindness to others on the thread.

I’ll start with errr... ‘An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough’

Book marking this ... This week is gonna be pure shite for me

So if I can smile at what folk leave you it won't be all bad

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?

There's Noel!

Ba dum tish!!! Lol

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

". How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?

There's Noel!

Ba dum tish!!! Lol

Had a proper chuckle at that. X

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

". How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?

There's Noel!

Ba dum tish!!! Lol

That a cracker

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

you lot

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Listen to the Coldplay track "up and up" while watching the lyrics.

Trust me.. It will give you a high.

"you can say it's mine,

clench a fist,

Or see the morning

As a gift"

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I know - you’d need a JCB to do that.

I’ve had a really flipping weird week and need a pep up to get me through the next one.

Please regale me with funny anecdotes, those sarky inspirational quotes or pass on a little kindness to others on the thread.

I’ll start with errr... ‘An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough’

Lol that made me laugh! I’ll carry an apple with me think week

Hope you have a better week ahead MrsMac

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you lot

Are you feeling any better?

Hope next week isn't such a rollercoaster. x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Do you think santa

Will let me cum all over you

You're sacked

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Thanks ladies. You’re a lovely bunch *kiss*

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Do you think santa

Will let me cum all over you

You're sacked"

Can you do any better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx

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By *owhard007Man
over a year ago

leeds

"A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx"

Hahaha love it.

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By *r Potato HeadMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO"

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If at first you don't succeed,try

to find an easier way!!

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx"

Well... the onesie is correct but the Sailor didn’t play. I had a kitchen disco whilst I cleaned. Was very miffed that when I went to catch up with CC funk n soul that CC wasn’t there so I put on some punk and put my head in the oven. It’s all sparkly clean and the fumes made me feel like I was at a space party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx

Haha xx

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By *r Potato HeadMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx"

I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well.

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx

I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well."

Sadly not. That’s what you can buy me for xmas. My Birkenstocks aren’t really up to the cold Blackpool weather.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell you my chemistry joke but it might not get a good reaction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx

I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well."

Yep sparkly ones xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx

Hahaha love it.

I did too xx

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By *r Potato HeadMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx

I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well.

Sadly not. That’s what you can buy me for xmas. My Birkenstocks aren’t really up to the cold Blackpool weather. "

No fluffy slippers, what kind of Blackpool landlady are you!!

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

i was in a bar in manchester a while ago sitting on a bar stool ...this guy comes over to me ...says ladies dont sit with there legs open....i replyed...i aint no lady..

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By *he Mac Lass OP Woman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"i was in a bar in manchester a while ago sitting on a bar stool ...this guy comes over to me ...says ladies dont sit with there legs open....i replyed...i aint no lady.."

I bet his face was a picture

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx"

Hahahahahahaha love that one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

Porn

Golf

for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx

Hahahahahahaha love that one!

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By *allSteveMan
over a year ago

Poole

A vampire walks into a bar, 'pint of blood landlord' he says. The barman gives him his order.

A second vampire walks into the bar, 'pint of your finest blood please' he says. Again, the barman pours his order.

A third vampire walks into the bar and says 'a mug of hot water please barman'. The barman looks puzzled at the vampire, and asks- 'why the fuck do you want hot water for?' The vampire answered- 'i found a used tampon and i'm making tea'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know funny sayings sorry

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By *allSteveMan
over a year ago

Poole

Q: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony?

A: The guy who can carry two pitchers of beer and a foot of onion rings!

Q: Who is the most popular girl in a nudist colony?

A: The girl who can eat the last onion ring

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By *allSteveMan
over a year ago

Poole

What's the similarity between a carton of milk and a woman?

They both need their flaps pushed back before you can get to the

good bits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit happens. Especially when you're walking behind a dog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love for you Macka

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....

KITCHEN DISCO

I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx

I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well.

Sadly not. That’s what you can buy me for xmas. My Birkenstocks aren’t really up to the cold Blackpool weather.

No fluffy slippers, what kind of Blackpool landlady are you!!"

No woman is a real woman until she rocks the fluffy slippers.

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By *allSteveMan
over a year ago

Poole

Whats the Difference between a Woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Nothing.

When your finished with the leg and the breast, you still have a greasy box to stick your bone into.

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

Tomatoes are soft when thrown at your skin unless they are wrapped in a tin

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

"Whats the Difference between a Woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Nothing.

When your finished with the leg and the breast, you still have a greasy box to stick your bone into.

And they are both finger licking good

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