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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So. Never thought this day would arrive. But arrive it did.
After a few fits and starts, it seems that I'm at the end of the road when it comes to my swinging life as a single male swinger. I've been in this pretty much ever since I became sexually active at 17, and I'd say I've ticked off at least 90% of my sexual bucket list as well.
I've had good memories of my past time here on Fab between '14 to '17. Had a polyamorous thruple arrangement with a couple, attended countless hot tub parties, visited some clubs (never really grew to like them, oh well), had lots of crazy late night meets that would be the stuff of stories that would sound too good to be true.
I tried returning back to the fold this year when I came back to the UK for my Masters. But things have changed so much. A different city, a different dynamic, a different community, a different me too after massive trauma that happened shortly after I returned (some of you here might know what happened with me, Erect-Jim being one of them!).
For once I'm putting myself first. And that means self-love, self-care, self-attention, and rebuilding myself and my life, not to mention my entire perspective on relationships and dating. It might come as a shock that at 25 years of age I knew more of swinging life than actual dating, and yet that's the unfortunate reality I'm forced to confront.
I've come to realise that as my years of swinging went by, it no longer served its sexual liberation and experimentation purpose for me as it did initially. It became a sticking plaster for my lack of knowledge or experience in actual relationships, my lack of self-esteem to put my ownself and my happiness first instead of constantly giving myself out to others for their pleasure. Swinging no longer proved to be a refuge for my psyche, to think that I'd be desirable to people physically even if it seemed as though I'd never be desirable or seen as keeper material for anyone looking for settling down into a serious relationship.
My time in this country is coming to an end, yet again. This time prematurely; I've decided to curtail my time short on my second stint at tertiary education here in the UK and reevaluate life once I go home. And with that, I think it's time to shut the book finally on my swinging single life. To put myself first, and sort my mental health and happiness in myself out. I've had a good 8 years run in swinging both on Fab and off it elsewhere (on and off thanks to brief dating stints), but as they say in those anti-gambling ads, when it stops being fun, it means it's time to stop.
Thank you Fab for the memories. To those who see me pop up in the forums now and again, if I've given you chuckles or a good impression, I'm glad. If I've offended anyone, I'm sorry. I've made some friends here. People I'll remember with a fond wistfulness inside me in the future, but know that their place in my life as well as my place in theirs and the lifestyle as a whole is one that should slowly fade with time into history as I move onto other life priorities and goals.
My account won't be deleted; I won't want people to lose my verifications for them if they got one from me. But I'll probably just hide my profile and change the password to some gibberish that I wouldn't remember, so I'll never be tempted to come back. It's time I put myself and my own needs/wants/health/priorities first. Maybe in future I'll return as one half of a swinger couple. Or not. But that's something for the future to decide. I won't miss it if I never return back.
So for the last time, this was Andy TheIdesOfMarch. I'm going home. I'm signing off. And all the best to you Fabbers here. Stay swinging, stay safe. |
I offended you on one of your threads a while ago and I'm still sorry for that as it wasn't my intention. x
