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Getting over a bad meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have you ever had a bad meet that put you off meeting again and if so, how did you get over it? Or did you never meet since? Did it change how you meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t really had a bad meet but my last meet I wished I’d never met in the first place, but that’s because I liked him and he put an end to us meeting again.

I had to move the furniture round in my bedroom, move the position my bed was in and I didn’t meet anyone else again for sex, that was January this year!

I actually moved my furniture back to how it was yesterday cos it looks better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Luckily I haven’t had a meet so bad that it’s put me off, I always come back for more!

But those that haven’t been ‘at the top’ of my list of meets you just shrug off to experience and move on.

I can imagine if you’ve found yourself in a threatening or scary situation then it works be very different so I hope all is ok OP xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had one that scared the shit outta me

I've had one where I was questioned by the police

I've had several that were just awful in their content, but I found them funny at the time

I was a thrill chaser back then

None of it phased me

I just wanted more

I've changed with age and in finding contentment in myself

I am way more measured these days

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I met with a lovely lady, she turned out to be a weird thief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I had a single profile I had a guy who proceeded to stalk me, burgled and vandalised my house then threaten to kill me.When arrested he had 6 profiles all verified that he’d been contacting me on made up of the type of guy I looked for

He’s recently been released from prison after serving 20 months of a three year sentence. I found out he’d been released by a new status of ‘“im back”

The police were good bout things and referred to it as a dating site and showed me tips on how to check guys out if I was going to carry on doing this.

I’m just very cautious now, I tried to report his current profile as he’s advertised he’s 100% genuine nice guy lol but I suppose they probably think I’m a bitter ex or something trying to cause trouble but I have the link to the article in the Daily Mirror which shows his face pic and he has it on his public pics on profile.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I needed to vent about it

But in the reverse side I’ve met some wonderful people and made great friends

Inked x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever had a bad meet that put you off meeting again and if so, how did you get over it? Or did you never meet since? Did it change how you meet?"

Hope you are ok?

No bad meets as such, only one which made me feel like I was in a situation I shouldn't of been, felt nothing really particular he did, just felt uneasy.

Come across bad attitudes though, my previous fwb would majorly strop if I couldn't meet him for some reason, he'd get quite abusive.

Then there are the clingy ones. A guy I used to meet regularly just would not let go, messages begging to meet, I tried explaining that I moved on, but he never got the hint, in the end he turned quite stalkerish, creepy, used to send me "i'm in your village,do you still have that big dog and white car?"

Followed by "I fancy a bit of role play, shall I be your burgler?"

Luckily he never knew where I lived, and I changed my car since meeting him.

I don't tend to meet now, I have a fwb who really is just that, a friend with benefits. We've talked about being in a relationship, too much going on right now,but in the future who knows.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

I try not to dwell or to let things affect my experiences, but yes, one guy did put me right off meeting for a very very long time. I'm not sure if I actually would have ever met anyone again if it wasn't for the fact that I'd also had some really amazing meets, made some fantastic friends and found my rope bunny match along the way. The good outweighed the bad, and as long as things stay good, the scales keep tipping favourably further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I had a single profile I had a guy who proceeded to stalk me, burgled and vandalised my house then threaten to kill me.When arrested he had 6 profiles all verified that he’d been contacting me on made up of the type of guy I looked for

He’s recently been released from prison after serving 20 months of a three year sentence. I found out he’d been released by a new status of ‘“im back”

The police were good bout things and referred to it as a dating site and showed me tips on how to check guys out if I was going to carry on doing this.

I’m just very cautious now, I tried to report his current profile as he’s advertised he’s 100% genuine nice guy lol but I suppose they probably think I’m a bitter ex or something trying to cause trouble but I have the link to the article in the Daily Mirror which shows his face pic and he has it on his public pics on profile.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I needed to vent about it

But in the reverse side I’ve met some wonderful people and made great friends

Inked x

"

That sounds awful, hope you’re okay. What are the kind of tips you’ve been taught - just wondering if there’s anything that any of us hadn’t been aware of that could be beneficial to know?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"When I had a single profile I had a guy who proceeded to stalk me, burgled and vandalised my house then threaten to kill me.When arrested he had 6 profiles all verified that he’d been contacting me on made up of the type of guy I looked for

He’s recently been released from prison after serving 20 months of a three year sentence. I found out he’d been released by a new status of ‘“im back”

The police were good bout things and referred to it as a dating site and showed me tips on how to check guys out if I was going to carry on doing this.

I’m just very cautious now, I tried to report his current profile as he’s advertised he’s 100% genuine nice guy lol but I suppose they probably think I’m a bitter ex or something trying to cause trouble but I have the link to the article in the Daily Mirror which shows his face pic and he has it on his public pics on profile.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I needed to vent about it

But in the reverse side I’ve met some wonderful people and made great friends

Inked x

"

Have you provided admin with the link?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We stopped meeting for a bit and changed the way we went about things

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By *ab_SparklesWoman
over a year ago

sparkle Surprised

Once an too this day 7/8yrs later I will not meet anyone who expects me to get random public transport in the middle of the night.

It was lucky I had the money for taxis as after chatting for a very long time and not from here. He lived on the outskirts of his town.

He kicked me out after he woke me up to preform oral on him when I refused I had to go. But I had to order my own taxi stood outside.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I haven’t really had a bad meet but my last meet I wished I’d never met in the first place, but that’s because I liked him and he put an end to us meeting again.

I had to move the furniture round in my bedroom, move the position my bed was in and I didn’t meet anyone else again for sex, that was January this year!

I actually moved my furniture back to how it was yesterday cos it looks better. "

Did he put you off sex?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Luckily I haven’t had a meet so bad that it’s put me off, I always come back for more!

But those that haven’t been ‘at the top’ of my list of meets you just shrug off to experience and move on.

I can imagine if you’ve found yourself in a threatening or scary situation then it works be very different so I hope all is ok OP xx "

Thank you. xx

It was just something I was thinking about after reading another thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I met with a lovely lady, she turned out to be a weird thief. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I had a single profile I had a guy who proceeded to stalk me, burgled and vandalised my house then threaten to kill me.When arrested he had 6 profiles all verified that he’d been contacting me on made up of the type of guy I looked for

He’s recently been released from prison after serving 20 months of a three year sentence. I found out he’d been released by a new status of ‘“im back”

The police were good bout things and referred to it as a dating site and showed me tips on how to check guys out if I was going to carry on doing this.

I’m just very cautious now, I tried to report his current profile as he’s advertised he’s 100% genuine nice guy lol but I suppose they probably think I’m a bitter ex or something trying to cause trouble but I have the link to the article in the Daily Mirror which shows his face pic and he has it on his public pics on profile.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I needed to vent about it

But in the reverse side I’ve met some wonderful people and made great friends

Inked x

"

I've read that Admin are really good behind the scenes with stuff like this. Contact them directly with the details. Maybe also contact the police as they may be able to do something. Hope you're ok. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing too bad but had a couple of people drink more than I would have liked and one also used Amyl, which I don't like either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both my dates were very enjoyable socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much bad, but they blew hot and cold and really knocked my confidence for a bit. X

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By *entileschiWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

A clumsy guy once tore my perineum and then had the nerve to complain that he didn't like the sight of blood!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On another site I did yes, wasn’t nice at all.

I got over it by meeting with someone I’d known for a while and trusted, the got my spirits up!

I also was much more wary of people and still am to this day. I’m also even more picky with who I meet for the same reasons.

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Had a few bad meets, but nothing that's put me off meeting again. One thing I've become is more selective about who I meet. Compared to when I first started meeting people.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had a really bad meet when it's just me and a single/couple, unless you count the ones where they didn't turn up. Clubs and socials, on the other hand... still haven't figired out how to make those work work for me, and some of them have been truly crushing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've never had a really bad meet when it's just me and a single/couple, unless you count the ones where they didn't turn up. Clubs and socials, on the other hand... still haven't figired out how to make those work work for me, and some of them have been truly crushing."

Crushing is bad. Hope you've met nicer people since.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A clumsy guy once tore my perineum and then had the nerve to complain that he didn't like the sight of blood! "

Ouch!! What a guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never had a really bad meet when it's just me and a single/couple, unless you count the ones where they didn't turn up. Clubs and socials, on the other hand... still haven't figired out how to make those work work for me, and some of them have been truly crushing.

Crushing is bad. Hope you've met nicer people since. "

Not really. I don't want to blame the people (well, not most of them at any rate). I just don't have the skill set to succeed at socials and clubs, and I'm not having much luck at gaining it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had a scary meet which changed how I do things nowadays.

I’ve also had someone turn out to be the opposite of what I thought, he ended it but then wouldn’t leave me alone. Continual abuse. I know he’s back on here. That’s all I’ll say as I don’t want a forum ban.

To counteract that, I have met some truly lovely people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did and I actually left fab and swinging for a while.

The meet was good and he was lovely until his wife found out and hounded me via whatspp. I actually felt very sorry for her and rather ashamed of myself but I honestly thought he was single as that’s what he told me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a bizarre near meet. Arranged a social and only the husband turned up, apparently to decide if his wife would actually be interested in the person. After spending 30 mins with him telling me he can have any woman he wants and regularly does, I left. he later messaged to say although I wasn't his wife's type I could take her out for drinks. Plan was spend 90 minutes in the pub with her then he would turn up and decide if it could be taken any further. I politely declined and he turned instantly. No body messes us around I know your face I will track you down etc etc.

There's some strange folk in the world and most of them are on here.

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By *DKinkyJenTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

Not on here (and a big part of the reasons I don’t meet single guys in private on here) but essentially had a guy with a lot of internalised homophobia I was unaware of decide he was going to punch downwards part way as I was giving him a bj after we’d agreed to meet (and I essentially had to fight my way to get away from him). Did lead me to deleting my profile on the site I was a part of and not meeting for a couple of months.

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington


"I did and I actually left fab and swinging for a while.

The meet was good and he was lovely until his wife found out and hounded me via whatspp. I actually felt very sorry for her and rather ashamed of myself but I honestly thought he was single as that’s what he told me. "

I had similar but thankfully it was only a social, I had been told she was single/divorced, but when we met, her husband had followed her. He knew I had been duped and frogmarched her out of the coffee shop. Me? I was the entertainment for the next 60 seconds before making my own exit without making eye contact with anyone.... It put me off for a bit, and I am now more cautious and diligent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have heard from friends on here especially t-girls and women of being roughed up. Some guys honestly think that you meet them and it’s instant sex. This is why I always have a social meet and more inclined to meet at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not on here (and a big part of the reasons I don’t meet single guys in private on here) but essentially had a guy with a lot of internalised homophobia I was unaware of decide he was going to punch downwards part way as I was giving him a bj after we’d agreed to meet (and I essentially had to fight my way to get away from him). Did lead me to deleting my profile on the site I was a part of and not meeting for a couple of months."

That's awful! Hope you're ok now x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I did and I actually left fab and swinging for a while.

The meet was good and he was lovely until his wife found out and hounded me via whatspp. I actually felt very sorry for her and rather ashamed of myself but I honestly thought he was single as that’s what he told me. "

You did nothing to be ashamed of at all. The fault was all his.

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By *DKinkyJenTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone


"Not on here (and a big part of the reasons I don’t meet single guys in private on here) but essentially had a guy with a lot of internalised homophobia I was unaware of decide he was going to punch downwards part way as I was giving him a bj after we’d agreed to meet (and I essentially had to fight my way to get away from him). Did lead me to deleting my profile on the site I was a part of and not meeting for a couple of months.

That's awful! Hope you're ok now x"

Yeah I’m fine, as I say, it was a dickhead and is the main reason I don’t want to meet single men outside of clubs (and even then I’m selective). Don’t mind couples though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a feminist once and she talked my ear off about equal rights and equal pay.....

We then had sex and she wanted to be on top....

It turned me off single women for a long time

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I met a feminist once and she talked my ear off about equal rights and equal pay.....

We then had sex and she wanted to be on top....

It turned me off single women for a long time "
I'm a feminist

Plenty of room on top ladies

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Getting over a good meet would be a start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a couple of disappointments and yeah it put me off. All the prep for a 2 minute session isn't really worth my effort lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mrs has a bad meet 2 years ago, she hasn’t met anyone again since.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I'm extremely choosy and selective about who I meet, and always have a social first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. I'm extremely choosy and selective about who I meet, and always have a social first "
same here but talking to someone doesn't tell you how good or bad they are in bed.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I’ve never had a meet that was so bad it put me off meeting again, except for meeting again with that person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years ago I decided to throw caution to the wind and meet someone who was very local to me but i thought he would be on the same page with the discretion thing as he was a police officer..

Turned out he was on extended leave due to mental health issues, brought on by a harrassment claim made by someone he was supposed to have been helping through his job..

I almost reported him myself as after our meet he kept popping up everywhere, saying stuff like 'fancy meeting you here'

It also didn't help that we had friends in common and i also knew his sister..

He was later found guilty from an internal enquiry so he is definitely the reason i don't meet anyone local anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. I'm extremely choosy and selective about who I meet, and always have a social first same here but talking to someone doesn't tell you how good or bad they are in bed. "

True but instinct is a great thing!

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

Not really a bad meet but he has knocked my confidence a bit and find it hard to put the trust back into meets

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I met a feminist once and she talked my ear off about equal rights and equal pay.....

We then had sex and she wanted to be on top....

It turned me off single women for a long time "

Are you back on them now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A few years ago I decided to throw caution to the wind and meet someone who was very local to me but i thought he would be on the same page with the discretion thing as he was a police officer..

Turned out he was on extended leave due to mental health issues, brought on by a harrassment claim made by someone he was supposed to have been helping through his job..

I almost reported him myself as after our meet he kept popping up everywhere, saying stuff like 'fancy meeting you here'

It also didn't help that we had friends in common and i also knew his sister..

He was later found guilty from an internal enquiry so he is definitely the reason i don't meet anyone local anymore"

That's scary. Hope he leaves you alone now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have a social first see how you get on then that should prevent a bad meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cat fish, those weirdos put me off. I usually deal with men who claim to be women on here. During my time on fab I gave learnt to spot a fake profile a mile away.....

live and learn, onwards and upwards etc....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 07:45:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I had a single profile I had a guy who proceeded to stalk me, burgled and vandalised my house then threaten to kill me.When arrested he had 6 profiles all verified that he’d been contacting me on made up of the type of guy I looked for

He’s recently been released from prison after serving 20 months of a three year sentence. I found out he’d been released by a new status of ‘“im back”

The police were good bout things and referred to it as a dating site and showed me tips on how to check guys out if I was going to carry on doing this.

I’m just very cautious now, I tried to report his current profile as he’s advertised he’s 100% genuine nice guy lol but I suppose they probably think I’m a bitter ex or something trying to cause trouble but I have the link to the article in the Daily Mirror which shows his face pic and he has it on his public pics on profile.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I needed to vent about it

But in the reverse side I’ve met some wonderful people and made great friends

Inked x

"

There was an article about something similar on Radio 2's Jeremy Vine a while ago, scary what some people will do. The woman telling her story said that this guy altered his profile to appear like a perfect match, over a period of time she found out his real story, he was married with a family and a serial dater - but nothing as awful as what happened to you.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I met a feminist once and she talked my ear off about equal rights and equal pay.....

We then had sex and she wanted to be on top....

It turned me off single women for a long time "
I think I've fucked a feminist but I didn't know at the time. You knew and still followed through you are a brave man.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I met a feminist once and she talked my ear off about equal rights and equal pay.....

We then had sex and she wanted to be on top....

It turned me off single women for a long time I'm a feminist

Plenty of room on top ladies"
Your man card has been revoked.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

It’s difficult especially ts and tvs I don’t really go for men, don’t fancy men, yet I love a cock to suck. I have been put off them and now prefer my own kind or women and couples only, less sex granted, but it’s safer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever had a bad meet that put you off meeting again and if so, how did you get over it? Or did you never meet since? Did it change how you meet?"

Don't you get over a bad meet by getting under a good one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. I'm extremely choosy and selective about who I meet, and always have a social first same here but talking to someone doesn't tell you how good or bad they are in bed.

True but instinct is a great thing! "
it can be but sadly not always. I got on great with a guy I was having a social with after talking for over a year. Finally when the moment came he also came far far too soon. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a bad meet a few months after initially joining. I didn't meet for a little while after it and only with my Fwb at the time. It actually taught me not to be naive, get to know someone as much as I can, before I met them and always meet in a public setting initially. I was silly to put myself in a risky position, so it taught me a lot, in that regard, never to do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you ever had a bad meet that put you off meeting again and if so, how did you get over it? Or did you never meet since? Did it change how you meet?"

Yes.

It made me remember to stick with Always having a social first and trust my gut instinct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I'll never meet a woman with big hands and a 70s porn star moustache again!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading responses in here it really does put some comments on another thread into context. Well done on starting this OP....

I think sometimes people are shamed into not sharing bad experiences and it becomes all about "showing off" the good ones. There are lessons to be learnt here for both men and women

Thanks again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only ever had 1 disaster when i tried to run before i could walk

Been put in some odd situations too but the girl i was with saved the day

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