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honesty

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

is honesty the best policy ...

ive been a swinger for years and also part of a couple on this site and very well known at that.

but my partner rach has lost her sex drive completely after the birth of our little girl who is nearly 2 years old now.

i love rach to bits and we had the discussion that she wanted me to continue swinging so my needs are catered for but when people message me on my single profile im open and honest about my situation and rach has eve said she would verify this to who ever wanted to meet me.

so then the question arose do i tell people about rach or not as i love her to bits and feel bad hiding her existance but she also agrees just not to say anything too.

whole world of confusion i need sex just as much as everyone else and if my partner is understanding what is the problem ??

help im confused

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

if rach is ok with u being here, and willing to verify this, just say so...see my profile for ideas...

However...as someone who suffered from severe pnd i am glad kev waited for me...i too said he could still swing,he choose not too, i think it helped bring my sex drive back sooner.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Easy, ask her to chat with any prospective play mates to put their minds at ease, Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no problem, you dont need to tell anyone about your wife, its only sex, its not like you are having a relationship with someone.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

Ok may be totally off the wall here, but I'm wondering if you actually feel comfy swinging by yourself. I also suffered from PND for over 2 yrs, we wernt swinging at said time, however I would have said the same to Mr A that it was fine, but I wouldnt have meant it. If you other half is suffering from PND you swinging alone is not going to help her at all.

As I said I may be totally wrong here xx

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

At this very moment your status reads "would love some bareback fun right now"!!!!!!!!

Remind us again about how much you love your wife....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At this very moment your status reads "would love some bareback fun right now"!!!!!!!!

Remind us again about how much you love your wife....

"

+1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At this very moment your status reads "would love some bareback fun right now"!!!!!!!!

Remind us again about how much you love your wife....

"

he's only being honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Siren has been in nesting-mode for three years now and swinging has been completely off the menu. Our lad is two and a half and another arrival is imminent. Her sex drive fell through the floor after the birth of our son and she only wanted sex when the time was right to conceive. I felt very frustrated at the time and was hoping that she'd be one of these horny pregnant wives but that just hasn't happened. If I'd sked her if I could swing alone she'd have said 'go for it' but I know deep down it would have hurt her deeply and our marriage wouldn't have survived it - but that's the beauty of swinging, it's always there to return to whenever we feel ready to dip a toe back into it.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"At this very moment your status reads "would love some bareback fun right now"!!!!!!!!

Remind us again about how much you love your wife....

he's only being honest "

Hadn't looked at the guys profile - what a prince - really feel sorry for the guys wife now, does she really know? She'd just love a dose I'm sure. Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

we had a lengthy chat about this and i said i didnt want to do it if she was going to feel less loved but she said its not that i dont feel loved its just i have completely lost my sex drive and she also said ishe is happy for me to play ..so me being me said well some women say yes when they really mean no and they expect you to decide and make the right choice so she replied i want you to do it and yes means yes .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

think im just a careing sort of guy and genuinely do think about her feelings but also think about the fact our sex life is non existant and she would like to keep me happy via the use of some of the wonderful females on here as every thing else in the relation ship is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

guess its a tough one and we actually met on this site and we are partners but not married but do live together .

so hhmmm a bit confusing for some people but after 2 divorces i told rach i would never marry again and no reason why we should if things are working as they are now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

maybe ill change my mind some day but that will come with time .

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it."

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

"

you and me both

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

"

But women should be ready for sex 24/7 didn't you know! Having children is no excuse.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Think you got to do it for the right reasons and you have to see it from Rach side of things how would you feel if your sex drive went and she wanted to swing on her own... However its something you have to discuss and come up with an agreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

quite the charmer

and honest with it

go get him girls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

"

Very serious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

I love my hubby very much, i would want to make him happy.

But women should be ready for sex 24/7 didn't you know! Having children is no excuse. "

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Ok may be totally off the wall here, but I'm wondering if you actually feel comfy swinging by yourself. I also suffered from PND for over 2 yrs, we wernt swinging at said time, however I would have said the same to Mr A that it was fine, but I wouldnt have meant it. If you other half is suffering from PND you swinging alone is not going to help her at all.

As I said I may be totally wrong here xx"

Agree totally...

How tired is she,how desirable does she feel, how much support does she have...

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

Very serious. "

I'm happy that you didnt lose you sex drive when you had PND, but the majority of women that i have spoken to that was the last thing they where thinking about.

I know that my hubby wouldn't want me to have sex with him for the sake of keeping him happy. As he wouldn't enjoy it either.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it."

Some of us dont believe men or woman should be having sex to please their partner...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

Some of us dont believe men or woman should be having sex to please their partner... "

Oh well, it makes me happy to please my husband, maybe i am a bit strange.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Ahhh the call for duty.... if up your nighty dear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ahhh the call for duty.... if up your nighty dear."

pull it down when you've finished

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Ahhh the call for duty.... if up your nighty dear.

pull it down when you've finished "

and dont forget to wipe

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it."

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

if mrs saucy gets pnd,she will be so dumped.

although probably not,whilst she's giving me a gammy.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?"

I'm thinking a bj

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?"

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?"

you pucker your lips rugby,and be prepared to swallow,and i'll demonstrate.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

Some of us dont believe men or woman should be having sex to please their partner...

Oh well, it makes me happy to please my husband, maybe i am a bit strange. "

sex which i didnt enjoy would never please kev,he isnt a rapist...i dont think thats strange at all

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Never heard it called that before....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again "

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

you pucker your lips rugby,and be prepared to swallow,and i'll demonstrate. "

Puckered and ready....

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

Some of us dont believe men or woman should be having sex to please their partner...

Oh well, it makes me happy to please my husband, maybe i am a bit strange. "

And did it please your hubby knowing that you were doing it just to please him??

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !! "

your welcome, its usually me that asks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I though a gammy was something you had with pineapple

...Am I getting confused again?

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"I though a gammy was something you had with pineapple

...Am I getting confused again? "

oh the plot thickens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok may be totally off the wall here, but I'm wondering if you actually feel comfy swinging by yourself. I also suffered from PND for over 2 yrs, we wernt swinging at said time, however I would have said the same to Mr A that it was fine, but I wouldnt have meant it. If you other half is suffering from PND you swinging alone is not going to help her at all.

As I said I may be totally wrong here xx"

+1 Support her and give her the help she needs it will come back in time. If you love her then be there for her.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"I though a gammy was something you had with pineapple

...Am I getting confused again? "

He could stick it through a pineapple ring....

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !! "

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

you pucker your lips rugby,and be prepared to swallow,and i'll demonstrate. "

Blooming Scots with their funny language , hang on take that back I'm half a one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

you and me both "

...and me.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid. "

Thanks

( unpuckers lips )

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I though a gammy was something you had with pineapple

...Am I getting confused again? "

Very confused, you have egg with your gammon.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

you pucker your lips rugby,and be prepared to swallow,and i'll demonstrate.

Blooming Scots with their funny language , hang on take that back I'm half a one "

Well, im Glaswegian 100% an iv never heard of it

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid. "

thanks didnt want Rugby to be left alone (thats my excuse and sticking to it)

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"I though a gammy was something you had with pineapple

...Am I getting confused again?

Very confused, you have egg with your gammon. "

We were brought up with having pineapple with ours....

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid.

Thanks

( unpuckers lips )"

ahem ahem.

on the other hand rugby,

you look really hot,whilst being stupid.

i'm praying thats a save,and a repucker.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid.

Thanks

( unpuckers lips )

ahem ahem.

on the other hand rugby,

you look really hot,whilst being stupid.

i'm praying thats a save,and a repucker.

"

Are you trying to say I am a wally who falls for those lines Saucy???????

Puckers up again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I though a gammy was something you had with pineapple

...Am I getting confused again?

Very confused, you have egg with your gammon. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ps granted I am a single parent. After my youngest I had serious post natal but went unnoticed had to prove to the world and my mother until I had a complete melt down and tried to take my own life and went into severe depression. Went of sex for over 3 years, can I ever trust a man again I don't know am I better no I still have my lows and my youngest is now 9 years old so instead of worrying about yourself I suggest you talk to her and take Rach to your Gp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

see i am trying to tell if you are being serious...or being sarcastic.....

But women should be ready for sex 24/7 didn't you know! Having children is no excuse. "

Not to comment on OP, but.......

I remember a few occasions when partners have come home from the pub late, pissed and horny n woke me up wanting sex there and then.

Can you imagine the arguments had I said 'No, sod off!' ?

There has to be a certain give and take in relationships doesn't there? That must include doing things that we don't really want to do.....

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Going back to Rach....

She has gone off sex as she has a toddler...

Why are people assuming she has PND????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it."

Sex should only ever happen when both parties feel happy and wish to participate. Doing something because you feel like you must to please someone is wrong on so many levels.

Your post makes me feel very uncomfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Going back to Rach....

She has gone off sex as she has a toddler...

Why are people assuming she has PND????

"

She has had no sex drive since the birth. Underlying reasons why that is.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Going back to Rach....

She has gone off sex as she has a toddler...

Why are people assuming she has PND????

"

The OP has stated that from the birth of their child, rach had went off sex, yes maybe jumping the gun but its usually the most logical thing

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid.

Thanks

( unpuckers lips )

ahem ahem.

on the other hand rugby,

you look really hot,whilst being stupid.

i'm praying thats a save,and a repucker.

Are you trying to say I am a wally who falls for those lines Saucy???????

Puckers up again "

lmao

oh happy days,mrs saucy is so dumped.

as it works out,rugby's just the kind of thicko i've been looking for all my life.

rugby do you think coantrim could join us,she doesnt seem like the sharpest tool in the box.

pucker pucker.

here's a wee line to moisten yous both up.

do yous come here often,

prepare for entry.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid.

Thanks

( unpuckers lips )

ahem ahem.

on the other hand rugby,

you look really hot,whilst being stupid.

i'm praying thats a save,and a repucker.

Are you trying to say I am a wally who falls for those lines Saucy???????

Puckers up again

lmao

oh happy days,mrs saucy is so dumped.

as it works out,rugby's just the kind of thicko i've been looking for all my life.

rugby do you think coantrim could join us,she doesnt seem like the sharpest tool in the box.

pucker pucker.

here's a wee line to moisten yous both up.

do yous come here often,

prepare for entry. "

ahh but is it a ploy to make you think that

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"lol...ok I have to ask, what's a gammy?

lol I wanted to know that but didnt want to sound stupid again

So you let me look stupid instead...thanks !!

its not a competition,and if it's any consolation,

yous both looked equally stupid.

Thanks

( unpuckers lips )

ahem ahem.

on the other hand rugby,

you look really hot,whilst being stupid.

i'm praying thats a save,and a repucker.

Are you trying to say I am a wally who falls for those lines Saucy???????

Puckers up again

lmao

oh happy days,mrs saucy is so dumped.

as it works out,rugby's just the kind of thicko i've been looking for all my life.

rugby do you think coantrim could join us,she doesnt seem like the sharpest tool in the box.

pucker pucker.

here's a wee line to moisten yous both up.

do yous come here often,

prepare for entry.

ahh but is it a ploy to make you think that "

lol

the ploys working.

i'll explain,as yous suck.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

Sex should only ever happen when both parties feel happy and wish to participate. Doing something because you feel like you must to please someone is wrong on so many levels.

Your post makes me feel very uncomfortable "

You could also argue that the person derives pleasure from seeing their partner being happy.

It's a bit like watching a Jennifer Aniston film. For virtually every bloke there's nothing pleasurable in doing that... but if your other half wants to see some stupid film about a big dog (who dies at the end, by the way, in case you've not seen it) then you'll go along and watch it as well. Not because the bloke wants to see the film, but because it makes his missus happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/11 00:42:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

Sex should only ever happen when both parties feel happy and wish to participate. Doing something because you feel like you must to please someone is wrong on so many levels.

Your post makes me feel very uncomfortable

You could also argue that the person derives pleasure from seeing their partner being happy.

It's a bit like watching a Jennifer Aniston film. For virtually every bloke there's nothing pleasurable in doing that... but if your other half wants to see some stupid film about a big dog (who dies at the end, by the way, in case you've not seen it) then you'll go along and watch it as well. Not because the bloke wants to see the film, but because it makes his missus happy."

I can't relate, sorry.

I've begrudgingly watched utter drivel on the telly that my hubby has enjoyed and visa versa, the poor f**ker has endured celebrity reality.

When it comes to sex, no one should ever offer their body to someone that doesn't interest them.... be it their life partner or otherwise if the mood or preferences are not right.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

Sex should only ever happen when both parties feel happy and wish to participate. Doing something because you feel like you must to please someone is wrong on so many levels.

Your post makes me feel very uncomfortable

You could also argue that the person derives pleasure from seeing their partner being happy.

It's a bit like watching a Jennifer Aniston film. For virtually every bloke there's nothing pleasurable in doing that... but if your other half wants to see some stupid film about a big dog (who dies at the end, by the way, in case you've not seen it) then you'll go along and watch it as well. Not because the bloke wants to see the film, but because it makes his missus happy.

I can't relate, sorry.

I've begrudgingly watch utter drivel on the telly that my hubby has enjoyed and visa versa, the poor f**ker has endured celebrity reality.

When it comes to sex, no one should ever offer their body to someone that doesn't interest them.... be it their life partner or otherwise if the mood or preferences are not right."

+1

I would question those that think this is right

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Just to clarify... I'm not saying that anyone should be forced to do anything they don't want to... that's classed as abuse.

But there's somewhere in between wanting to do something because you get enjoyment out of it and not wanting to do something... call it indifference, if you like.

If you're indifferent to something but you know that your partner would get some enjoyment out of it, would you go ahead and do it?

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Just to clarify... I'm not saying that anyone should be forced to do anything they don't want to... that's classed as abuse.

But there's somewhere in between wanting to do something because you get enjoyment out of it and not wanting to do something... call it indifference, if you like.

If you're indifferent to something but you know that your partner would get some enjoyment out of it, would you go ahead and do it?"

TBH if I had to do that and my hubby was content with getting his enjoyment then I wouldn't be with him. I also know the roles would be reversed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suffered from pnd after my son was born although it didnt put me off sex at all. I realy think your wife should make more of an effort to please you, even if she may not feel like it.

Sex should only ever happen when both parties feel happy and wish to participate. Doing something because you feel like you must to please someone is wrong on so many levels.

Your post makes me feel very uncomfortable

You could also argue that the person derives pleasure from seeing their partner being happy.

It's a bit like watching a Jennifer Aniston film. For virtually every bloke there's nothing pleasurable in doing that... but if your other half wants to see some stupid film about a big dog (who dies at the end, by the way, in case you've not seen it) then you'll go along and watch it as well. Not because the bloke wants to see the film, but because it makes his missus happy.

I can't relate, sorry.

I've begrudgingly watch utter drivel on the telly that my hubby has enjoyed and visa versa, the poor f**ker has endured celebrity reality.

When it comes to sex, no one should ever offer their body to someone that doesn't interest them.... be it their life partner or otherwise if the mood or preferences are not right.

+1

I would question those that think this is right "

That's the thing.... I'm ready to question those that think it's fine to push someone into feeling like they must make their bodies 'available' despite not wanting to have sex

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"

I can't relate, sorry.

I've begrudgingly watch utter drivel on the telly that my hubby has enjoyed and visa versa, the poor f**ker has endured celebrity reality.

When it comes to sex, no one should ever offer their body to someone that doesn't interest them.... be it their life partner or otherwise if the mood or preferences are not right.

+1

I would question those that think this is right

That's the thing.... I'm ready to question those that think it's fine to push someone into feeling like they must make their bodies 'available' despite not wanting to have sex "

You question them...

I will smack them about a bit when you'r done

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

DH and I have been together 25 years and in that time we've had several periods of time where our sex drives have been totally out of sync. Both of us have 'given in' (an unfortunate choice of words, but I can't think of a better phrase, still having sleep-fuzzy brain) to the other person at times - but from an indifference point of view - and 9/10 times when I've been indifferent (as opposed to not wanting sex - there is a difference) I've ended up enjoying it. And if I ever managed to persuade him he usually would too. It's not rape, it's a give-and-take thing. And the persuasion techniques are often quite fun. And as I said, it's when indifferent/ can take or leave it rather than being 'off' sex - have been there too.

Don't shoot me here: in some women's magazines you can read that if not 'in the mood' (inc after having a child) you should let your partner try and persuade you occasionally (if not to full sex, then maybe just some mutual fun) - a 'use it or lose it' attitude. After all, I have seen the view here that having lots of sex makes you want more sex - so the reverse of not having sex gets you in the habit of never having sex can also be applied.

Personal experiences: horny as hell when pregnant, right up until labour starts (I'd happily shag 3-4 times a day when 9months gone) and we've also resumed our sex life within a couple of weeks. I have also experienced PND with a couple of the children. But we only started swinging after the birth of our youngest (now 2 1/2) when I seemed to turn into an unstoppable sex maniac - I think hubby was hoping that he might get a rest if he had some help However, working on the basis that lots of sex can leave you wanting even more sex.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's the thing.... I'm ready to question those that think it's fine to push someone into feeling like they must make their bodies 'available' despite not wanting to have sex "

The flip side of that coin is that a man is required to 'crank the old boy up' and perform even if he isn't in the mood for it, and face accusations of having an affair, or not fancying his wife anymore, if he says he's not in the mood.

As I stated above, Siren's sex drive has nosedived during the last few years but when she wanted to get pregnant it was the driving factor in when we had sex. I'm not blaming her for that, it was her body driving her desire, but sometimes I just didn't feel in the mood for sex and her frustration was evident when I said no. Obviously it must have worked as she's a week away from giving birth lol

Should a woman perform for her husband even if she's not in the mood? Not if she feels that strongly about it but she must also realise that the break down of intimate relations between a couple WILL lead to one of them looking elsewhere, eventually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just take time out with your partner and help her?

Ok so its tough going without sex but its not the end of the world

Take a year out yourself with her

Show her how much you care and think about her

Cause i can guarantee she may be backing you to the hilt

But i bet you anything a piece of her is crying inside over this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why not just take time out with your partner and help her?

Ok so its tough going without sex but its not the end of the world

Take a year out yourself with her

Show her how much you care and think about her

Cause i can guarantee she may be backing you to the hilt

But i bet you anything a piece of her is crying inside over this"

+1

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"

Should a woman perform for her husband even if she's not in the mood? Not if she feels that strongly about it but she must also realise that the break down of intimate relations between a couple WILL lead to one of them looking elsewhere, eventually."

I have to generally agree with that statement - over a long period, if one of them is unhappy with the lack of intimacy (some couples seem to exist ok with this) then, yes - solace/ excitement or whatever will be looked for elsewhere.

Most people seem to think that it'll be the man who 'cheats' (all married men on here are cheating b@stard scum etc) (NOT my viewpoint, I hasten to add) - but there are quite a lot of married women on here without their partner's knowledge. The married men get an awful lot more flack than the women. My view is that it's their life and relationship, so who am I to judge?

.

.

Back to the OP: only you know whether Rach would truly be happy with what you are doing. We cannot say - we can give our view of how we'd (potentially) feel in that situation, but we don't know. Some women MAY feel that their partner swinging is a better situation than them potentially having an affair (possible relationship and 'feelings' come into it there) - casual sex being the better solution. However, as a long term solution it isn't one.. A few sessions at somewhere like Relate may help you both - I'm not saying you have relationship issues, but Relate can also just help to clarify the situation where there are differences (such as different sex drives) A non-judgmental neutral sounding board. Can sometimes help thwart problems before they arise into a big issue which can be destructive

And if you do swing and want your profile to read that you're part of a couple in 'real life' I'd suggest your profile says she's happy to verify. Some people won't contact you - but that's their preference, after all

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