FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Agony Uncle/Aunty Smiles problem page.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well as a man of the world, I’ve decided to help anyone out with advice on any type of problem!

Girl freind left you for a girl?

Boyfriend left you for a girl?

Fuck buddy fucking someone else?

Feeling angry? Feeling down? Don’t want to ask some fucking clown?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I’m not sure I would trust your advice somehow OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm having a bit of trouble with a shaky cabinet. I've tried bunging a folded 500 page document under one of the legs but it keeps falling apart . Advice please?

T May , that there London

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm having a bit of trouble with a shaky cabinet. I've tried bunging a folded 500 page document under one of the legs but it keeps falling apart . Advice please?

T May , that there London "

Bin the fucker and buy a new one. Your local council will do kerb side collections of such shite old furniture free.

All the better if it’s upstairs, just good it out the window.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m not sure I would trust your advice somehow OP "

Coward. Man up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm having a bit of trouble with a shaky cabinet. I've tried bunging a folded 500 page document under one of the legs but it keeps falling apart . Advice please?

T May , that there London "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm having a bit of trouble with a shaky cabinet. I've tried bunging a folded 500 page document under one of the legs but it keeps falling apart . Advice please?

T May , that there London

"

And shred the cunt you dosey cow

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Well I don't like to say really,but I have this discharge do you think it may be an sti and will eating chocolate clear it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well I don't like to say really,but I have this discharge do you think it may be an sti and will eating chocolate clear it?"

Eat all the chocolate you want, if it burns and you feel like your pissing a razor blade, you need antibiotics and a good excuse for the strife

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well I don't like to say really,but I have this discharge do you think it may be an sti and will eating chocolate clear it?

Eat all the chocolate you want, if it burns and you feel like your pissing a razor blade, you need antibiotics and a good excuse for the husband "

Or just blame him, shag him mental, the next day go livid with him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Dear Agony Uncle,

I fell down the stairs at home earlier and sustained a rather grisly looking compound fracture; My Fibula is now protruding through my flesh and due to the resulting, excessive blood lose, I am now intermittently fading in and out of consciousness. I tried ringing Asda’s bakery for assistance earlier but they hung up.

What should I do?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Agony Uncle,

I fell down the stairs at home earlier and sustained a rather grisly looking compound fracture; My Fibula is now protruding through my flesh and due to the resulting, excessive blood lose, I am now intermittently fading in and out of consciousness. I tried ringing Asda’s bakery for assistance earlier but they hung up.

What should I do? "

Man up and walk to Co-op the Christmas offers are starting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Dear Agony Uncle,

I fell down the stairs at home earlier and sustained a rather grisly looking compound fracture; My Fibula is now protruding through my flesh and due to the resulting, excessive blood lose, I am now intermittently fading in and out of consciousness. I tried ringing Asda’s bakery for assistance earlier but they hung up.

What should I do?

Man up and walk to Co-op the Christmas offers are starting "

Thank you uncle

This is sage advice indeed; I bet they’re doing those Christmas motif plasters at the moment so I might purchase a pack along with a DIY sewing kit and some vodka

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

This is a real problem ..... I totally adore a Greggs mince pie. Amazing pastry, just the right amount of filling, a dusting of icing sugar on the top. Heaven! The problem is my colleague keeps buying ones with crunchy sugar on.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful but how do I get her to buy the best mince pies from Greggs?

I’m trusting you to give me sound advice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ddibleMan
over a year ago

Exeter Bristol Salisbury

Dear Uncle I need your advice. My girlfriend has accidently put her false teeth in upside down and chewed her own head off. I'm worried this will have a dramatic affect on our sex life as eye contact is going to be difficult from now on. What do you suggest I do?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Agony Uncle,

I fell down the stairs at home earlier and sustained a rather grisly looking compound fracture; My Fibula is now protruding through my flesh and due to the resulting, excessive blood lose, I am now intermittently fading in and out of consciousness. I tried ringing Asda’s bakery for assistance earlier but they hung up.

What should I do?

Man up and walk to Co-op the Christmas offers are starting

Thank you uncle

This is sage advice indeed; I bet they’re doing those Christmas motif plasters at the moment so I might purchase a pack along with a DIY sewing kit and some vodka "

For the leg? I guess so if your a whimp

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is a real problem ..... I totally adore a Greggs mince pie. Amazing pastry, just the right amount of filling, a dusting of icing sugar on the top. Heaven! The problem is my colleague keeps buying ones with crunchy sugar on.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful but how do I get her to buy the best mince pies from Greggs?

I’m trusting you to give me sound advice "

Punch her in the windpipe, tell her the right ones. She can’t swallow now so you can have hers too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Dear Agony Uncle,

I fell down the stairs at home earlier and sustained a rather grisly looking compound fracture; My Fibula is now protruding through my flesh and due to the resulting, excessive blood lose, I am now intermittently fading in and out of consciousness. I tried ringing Asda’s bakery for assistance earlier but they hung up.

What should I do? "
omg have you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Uncle I need your advice. My girlfriend has accidently put her false teeth in upside down and chewed her own head off. I'm worried this will have a dramatic affect on our sex life as eye contact is going to be difficult from now on. What do you suggest I do?

"

Take the falseies out before putting the head on your cock. If the corpse goes stiff, don’t worry it will soon go soft again.

You might need some air fresheners.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Uncle. The other week i was in B&Q looking at garden timber when some chap came up dressed in orange and black and asked if i wanted decking ? Luckily i got the first punch in and broke his nose.

Now the police are saying i assaulted the chap ! Surely they can see it was self defence. Any advice on this legal matter ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Dear Agony Uncle,

I fell down the stairs at home earlier and sustained a rather grisly looking compound fracture; My Fibula is now protruding through my flesh and due to the resulting, excessive blood lose, I am now intermittently fading in and out of consciousness. I tried ringing Asda’s bakery for assistance earlier but they hung up.

What should I do? omg have you?"

I have miraculously recovered now (thanks to the magical healing rays of my Halogen Heater)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Dear Agony Uncle,

I fell down the stairs at home earlier and sustained a rather grisly looking compound fracture; My Fibula is now protruding through my flesh and due to the resulting, excessive blood lose, I am now intermittently fading in and out of consciousness. I tried ringing Asda’s bakery for assistance earlier but they hung up.

What should I do? omg have you?

I have miraculously recovered now (thanks to the magical healing rays of my Halogen Heater) "
Thank god for that x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Uncle. The other week i was in B&Q looking at garden timber when some chap came up dressed in orange and black and asked if i wanted decking ? Luckily i got the first punch in and broke his nose.

Now the police are saying i assaulted the chap ! Surely they can see it was self defence. Any advice on this legal matter ?"

Make sure the local magistrates know you was in POW Div.

even if you weren’t a Stafford your fine.

Ich Dien

Orange fucker asked for it anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Next!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I keep saying that the women on here are gorgeous...and some of them are getting the arse ...wtf am I supposed to do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I'm in the bath my balls are floating,but also they move around on their own!!! Are my balls possessed?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I keep saying that the women on here are gorgeous...and some of them are getting the arse ...wtf am I supposed to do"

Let em have your arse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I'm in the bath my balls are floating,but also they move around on their own!!! Are my balls possessed?"

Nah

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I'm in the bath my balls are floating,but also they move around on their own!!! Are my balls possessed?"

But get a priest to handle them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dear Uncle. The other week i was in B&Q looking at garden timber when some chap came up dressed in orange and black and asked if i wanted decking ? Luckily i got the first punch in and broke his nose.

Now the police are saying i assaulted the chap ! Surely they can see it was self defence. Any advice on this legal matter ?

Make sure the local magistrates know you was in POW Div.

even if you weren’t a Stafford your fine.

Ich Dien

Orange fucker asked for it anyway "

Cheers will do. Wasnt a Stafford although when i was a crow my instructor and plt sgt were in the Staffords.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I'm in the bath my balls are floating,but also they move around on their own!!! Are my balls possessed?

But get a priest to handle them "

Already done,I was an alter boy.....really I was

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I'm in the bath my balls are floating,but also they move around on their own!!! Are my balls possessed?

But get a priest to handle them

Already done,I was an alter boy.....really I was"

No him handle yours, not him ram his dick down ya neck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Dear Uncle, Just a quick one: So I’ve just embarked on my first ever sky dive.

It’s really lovely up here and I’ve honestly never felt so free.

However, I’m feeling like I may be a little underdressed; Are those fashion rucksacks that all the other jumpers are wearing, essential gear?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dear Uncle, Just a quick one: So I’ve just embarked on my first ever sky dive.

It’s really lovely up here and I’ve honestly never felt so free.

However, I’m feeling like I may be a little underdressed; Are those fashion rucksacks that all the other jumpers are wearing, essential gear?

Nah just jump, but please record it on your phone

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top