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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

now sponsored by The Samaritans ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They should be, or party planners. The amount of pity parties being thrown on these forums has had me reaching for a straight edge!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but i was one myself .. And if i can help i will . People help me here all the time with stuff .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They should be, or party planners. The amount of pity parties being thrown on these forums has had me reaching for a straight edge! "

Am glad it's not just me that's noticed Sassy.

We all have shite times from time to time and it's good to have a means of getting it out.

The good will in here is lovely to see as is the sense of 'community' as a whole.

But, the last couple of weeks has seen a major rise in the 'woe is me' self-pity threads.

I can only assume that the Christmas factor has a bearing on things i.e. people feeling lonely or down on their luck at a time when convention tells us we should be happy.

I hope so anyway, or I'll be asking to borrow your blade too !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you've hit the nail on the head. It can be a lonely time for some, and being bombarded with seasonal greetings can compound those feelings. I understand that, truly I do, and I know misery loves company...but please...enough already!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

wait till the credit card bills drop on the mat..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nooooo... Just one more... pretty please...

Oh woe is Meeeeee...

Christmas is not a good time for those on their own... And this is a wonderful place for distraction and support...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Does'nt the suicide rate rise over christmas and new year?

The pressure to be living a perfect life with perfect friends and family is huge,you only have to look at all the media surrounding the ideal christmas to know that

I think if people want to let off a bit of steam then good luck to them,if they get a bit of support then good,it may be all thats needed to put a smile on someones face when they're feeling like a pile of shit has been dumped on them

Not everyone has a fantastic support network around them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They should be, or party planners. The amount of pity parties being thrown on these forums has had me reaching for a straight edge!

Am glad it's not just me that's noticed Sassy.

We all have shite times from time to time and it's good to have a means of getting it out.

The good will in here is lovely to see as is the sense of 'community' as a whole.

But, the last couple of weeks has seen a major rise in the 'woe is me' self-pity threads.

I can only assume that the Christmas factor has a bearing on things i.e. people feeling lonely or down on their luck at a time when convention tells us we should be happy.

I hope so anyway, or I'll be asking to borrow your blade too !"

You would be better served asking yourself if there is ever a time of year where compassion is out of fashion.

You say it's good people can let off steam with a moan and then moan yourself about them doing so.

Which is it that's acceptable with you?

I'd always try and offer support to anyone who needed it. Who knows one day it might be you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does'nt the suicide rate rise over christmas and new year?

The pressure to be living a perfect life with perfect friends and family is huge,you only have to look at all the media surrounding the ideal christmas to know that

I think if people want to let off a bit of steam then good luck to them,if they get a bit of support then good,it may be all thats needed to put a smile on someones face when they're feeling like a pile of shit has been dumped on them

Not everyone has a fantastic support network around them "
YES your right not everyone can chat face to face even on the phone and may find it easy here to let of steam now and again some lovely people on fab and alot will say it how it is on forums .

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Some people thrive on pseudo pity, it's an easy way to get attention..... and it's easier than doing something about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does'nt the suicide rate rise over christmas and new year?

The pressure to be living a perfect life with perfect friends and family is huge,you only have to look at all the media surrounding the ideal christmas to know that

I think if people want to let off a bit of steam then good luck to them,if they get a bit of support then good,it may be all thats needed to put a smile on someones face when they're feeling like a pile of shit has been dumped on them

Not everyone has a fantastic support network around them "

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"Does'nt the suicide rate rise over christmas and new year?

The pressure to be living a perfect life with perfect friends and family is huge,you only have to look at all the media surrounding the ideal christmas to know that

I think if people want to let off a bit of steam then good luck to them,if they get a bit of support then good,it may be all thats needed to put a smile on someones face when they're feeling like a pile of shit has been dumped on them

Not everyone has a fantastic support network around them "

Or it could just amplify the focus, reinforce their self justification to feel like woe is me and prolong the whole thing.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Does'nt the suicide rate rise over christmas and new year?

The pressure to be living a perfect life with perfect friends and family is huge,you only have to look at all the media surrounding the ideal christmas to know that

I think if people want to let off a bit of steam then good luck to them,if they get a bit of support then good,it may be all thats needed to put a smile on someones face when they're feeling like a pile of shit has been dumped on them

Not everyone has a fantastic support network around them "

Great post.

To the OP , I think it depends on who is starting the thread or who is posting as to wether people are sympathetic or not. It is a shame everyone isn't treated the same and get threads started about them instead.

I don't do the whole symphathy thing as I am a hard bitch who gets on with things, but others are not like that or are just after a bit of attention, so I just read and pass by those type of threads.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I think you've hit the nail on the head. It can be a lonely time for some, and being bombarded with seasonal greetings can compound those feelings. I understand that, truly I do, and I know misery loves company...but please...enough already! "

i think it is Christmas...makes me glad i am a Christian...not for the reason you might think though...the hype and expectations on a secular Christmas must put real pressure on those who for whatever reason feel they are not living up to it.

i dont think its too hard to ignore the threads of those reaching out...if you dont like them,the same way i ignore threads asking for technical advice...if someone feels better because of the words of a stranger..what harm is done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you've hit the nail on the head. It can be a lonely time for some, and being bombarded with seasonal greetings can compound those feelings. I understand that, truly I do, and I know misery loves company...but please...enough already!

i think it is Christmas...makes me glad i am a Christian...not for the reason you might think though...the hype and expectations on a secular Christmas must put real pressure on those who for whatever reason feel they are not living up to it.

i dont think its too hard to ignore the threads of those reaching out...if you dont like them,the same way i ignore threads asking for technical advice...if someone feels better because of the words of a stranger..what harm is done"

None whatsoever. However the ones I've inadvertently stumbled across have received positive advice and support from forumites but they've just come back not taking any notice just continue to moan.

A new kind of "look at me" I guess...*shrugs* if it makes them happier, c'est la vie I guess.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I think you've hit the nail on the head. It can be a lonely time for some, and being bombarded with seasonal greetings can compound those feelings. I understand that, truly I do, and I know misery loves company...but please...enough already!

i think it is Christmas...makes me glad i am a Christian...not for the reason you might think though...the hype and expectations on a secular Christmas must put real pressure on those who for whatever reason feel they are not living up to it.

i dont think its too hard to ignore the threads of those reaching out...if you dont like them,the same way i ignore threads asking for technical advice...if someone feels better because of the words of a stranger..what harm is done

None whatsoever. However the ones I've inadvertently stumbled across have received positive advice and support from forumites but they've just come back not taking any notice just continue to moan.

A new kind of "look at me" I guess...*shrugs* if it makes them happier, c'est la vie I guess.

"

i do agree with the fact some people are incapable of reflecting on behavious,owning it and moving on...i see these as my charity work

Actually no...i just ignore and move on...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Just because advice is given doesn't mean people should accept it as gospel , they may think it is rubbish .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Does'nt the suicide rate rise over christmas and new year?

The pressure to be living a perfect life with perfect friends and family is huge,you only have to look at all the media surrounding the ideal christmas to know that

I think if people want to let off a bit of steam then good luck to them,if they get a bit of support then good,it may be all thats needed to put a smile on someones face when they're feeling like a pile of shit has been dumped on them

Not everyone has a fantastic support network around them

Great post.

To the OP , I think it depends on who is starting the thread or who is posting as to wether people are sympathetic or not. It is a shame everyone isn't treated the same and get threads started about them instead.

I don't do the whole symphathy thing as I am a hard bitch who gets on with things, but others are not like that or are just after a bit of attention, so I just read and pass by those type of threads."

I might change my post .

I don't do the whole symphathy thing as I am a hard bitch who gets on with things, but, not everyone is the same and if any posters need sympathy or attention and people are willing to help/ give it, then who are we to put them down for it.

It is easily ignored.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Just because advice is given doesn't mean people should accept it as gospel , they may think it is rubbish ."

absolutely....but if that is the case then for example asking the same question again isn't really going to help, and probably antagonise those who took time out of their day to try an help.....

it does go both ways.. and sometimes I think that people can't do right for doing wrong......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" not everyone is the same and if any posters need sympathy or attention and people are willing to help/ give it, then who are we to put them down for it.

It is easily ignored."

Yeah... But when a "genuine" case pops up, youd be there for them...;-)

Theres a big difference between Practical and Heartless... ;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yo ho ho, its the season to be jolly. At least wait until the New Year before you lot get the firing squad lined up

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Just because advice is given doesn't mean people should accept it as gospel , they may think it is rubbish .

absolutely....but if that is the case then for example asking the same question again isn't really going to help, and probably antagonise those who took time out of their day to try an help.....

it does go both ways.. and sometimes I think that people can't do right for doing wrong......"

I think that says more about the people who get antagonised over a repeat question than the person asking the uestion tbh.

As I say, easily ignored.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

like i said... can't do right for doing wrong...

take time out to answer or help... you get accused of being harsh

you don't answer... you get accused of being unfriendly...

you ignore and more over someones comments... you get accused of being in some sort of "clique"....

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Firstly I will state I appreciate there is a different between (and a vast expanse of variance in-between) someone having an off moment, thus feeling a bit down, and being in a state of depression.

There are some a little cyber hug will help and others it won’t…. some in fact it could just magnify the problem and prolong their torment.

Just as an ignored child learns throwing a strop gets the attention of their mum, sometimes we condition wallowers to wallow in their self pity. At the extreme it becomes the only way they know to get people to talk to them……… not only is this sad, it’s non-productive and damaging.

Believe it or not, I’ll help near enough anyone who wants to turn their life around… and have help many who have had a hell of a lot more to fecking whimper about than some of the pity seekers that turn up on here.

I have ever empathy for those who encounter adversity and misfortune through no doing of their own…….. unless they become content to milk the fecking situation for all that it’s worth. Pull up a chair and get comfy on the forums people advise……. Ha! more like a three-legged stool and don’t forget the pail.

Sometimes a slap at the begining of a journey is the kindest thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to try and see it as christian- with a small 'c', ignore the bad and give a small amount of your time to those in a less fortunate situation to yourself.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"like i said... can't do right for doing wrong...

take time out to answer or help... you get accused of being harsh

you don't answer... you get accused of being unfriendly...

you ignore and more over someones comments... you get accused of being in some sort of "clique"...."

I am not sure why you are taking my post personally , my comments are general and answering what others wrote.

To be honest your comments don't seem to be in relation to what I have written at all.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"like i said... can't do right for doing wrong...

take time out to answer or help... you get accused of being harsh

you don't answer... you get accused of being unfriendly...

you ignore and more over someones comments... you get accused of being in some sort of "clique"....

I am not sure why you are taking my post personally , my comments are general and answering what others wrote.

To be honest your comments don't seem to be in relation to what I have written at all."

it wasn't in relation to what you wrote, hence why i didn't quote you.... just throwing around some of the accusations that have been made in the past by people when the situations have arisen... hence even as a regular poster sometimes you can't do right for doing wrong in some peoples eyes....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

As this tgread is obvious digs at other users ( and the posts removed ) then maybe it should be shut now.

Please remember thiugh, we are all different. Use the forum how you want to and let others do the same....and if you find youself getting wound up about threads / posts or posters then do what Admin advise at the top of the forum rules.

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