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"Seeing as I’m a wood burner wanker and it’s starting to get chilly, I’m looking for a Cordless Chainsaw so I can nip into the council owned woodland across the road and bag myself some fallen branches. I’ll be needing to hack them into 16inch lengths before using my power splitting wedges to create some logs to burn on my romantic me-times. Any of you girls in the North West got an electric cordless chainsaw with a bar length of minimum 40cm (sorry for mixing metric and imperial in the same post) that I can use for a few hours in return for some mediocre sex? You’ll have to come to mine, obvs." got my own chainsaw and log burner..im in the east though sorry, get your own power tools | |||
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"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return " F&B has a leaf blower now so he’s all good. | |||
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"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return " Er...? But who is having the mediocre sex? You’ll have to do it on his behalf | |||
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"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying. I've got a multi-fuel Aga and two log burners, actually if you don't mind the work pallets are brilliant for log burners, just one palket can run my little burner for two nights churning out lots of heat. " He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up. | |||
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"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return Er...? But who is having the mediocre sex? You’ll have to do it on his behalf" Damn, I always get the short straw!! | |||
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"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying. I've got a multi-fuel Aga and two log burners, actually if you don't mind the work pallets are brilliant for log burners, just one palket can run my little burner for two nights churning out lots of heat. He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up. " No. It’s definetly 16”. Twice the length of my finger and 4 times the length of my cock. I’ve never needed a ruler to work that shit out Anyroad.. back to the chainsaw please | |||
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"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return Er...? But who is having the mediocre sex? You’ll have to do it on his behalf Damn, I always get the short straw!!" Fight her for it | |||
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"7kW doc. Dunno if that’s big or not. I have loads of pallets, but I prefer the au naturel look (in my logs). I’m after the branches that fell earlier in the year. It’s this time of year that makes you start thinking about it.." I know what you mean but pallets do churn out heat and the corners give off a good flame when burning. Do you convert the "middle" of the pallets in to kindling? Log burners need to be thought about in the summer, converted 20 pallets then in to kindling and "logs". | |||
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"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in)." Oh for God's sake, not Fab. Whichever part of the UK. | |||
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"I can't remember the link, but there was a guy who posted a thread on here asking for advise on how to cut a tree down with a chainsaw. This went on for months and he was given loads of useful information. It turned out that it was only a 15' conifer " *advice | |||
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"I like the corner pieces of a pallet like any man Doc. The middle bits I don’t use for kindling, I just sort of burn them. Kindling wise, I like to stay trad. I use sticks made out of rolled up newspaper. Ideally the Daily Express but if not that anything I can pick up on a train seat. Side note: last week I was handed a questionnaire to fill in about my train journey. ‘Great’ I thought. ‘But, how can I possibly comment?’ I then thought ‘fuck this questionnaire shit, why should I tell them how to run their railway..’ noticed a newspaper on the seat opposite. Metro. 8 October 2018. They don’t have to put up with this in Switzerland PM for my Swiss railway stories. Or if you have a chainsaw I can borrow. Or if you’re a girl looking for mediocre sex, no chainsaw." I only have a cordless drill and a hammer. Mediocre sex it is... | |||
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"I can't remember the link, but there was a guy who posted a thread on here asking for advise on how to cut a tree down with a chainsaw. This went on for months and he was given loads of useful information. It turned out that it was only a 15' conifer " Great 15’ conifer story too Ace. So.. one late summer back in the day my Mum’s mate has driven into one of the gateposts at chez Wiggins. Leaving it bent over. Wiggins senior has thought of chaining it to the cars and dragging it straight but my mum’s dad has better ideas. ‘What you want to do with this mike, is heat it right up with the Blow lamp at the base before you drag it straight..’ Side note: the gatepost is about 4’ Away from the 15’ conifer. My mum comes out the door with a ‘DAD!!! What the Hell are you doing...?’ At which point old grandad turns round with the blow lamp in his hand. That conifer lasted about 40 seconds WWWHHHUUUUMMMPF | |||
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"I like the corner pieces of a pallet like any man Doc. The middle bits I don’t use for kindling, I just sort of burn them. Kindling wise, I like to stay trad. I use sticks made out of rolled up newspaper. Ideally the Daily Express but if not that anything I can pick up on a train seat. Side note: last week I was handed a questionnaire to fill in about my train journey. ‘Great’ I thought. ‘But, how can I possibly comment?’ I then thought ‘fuck this questionnaire shit, why should I tell them how to run their railway..’ noticed a newspaper on the seat opposite. Metro. 8 October 2018. They don’t have to put up with this in Switzerland PM for my Swiss railway stories. Or if you have a chainsaw I can borrow. Or if you’re a girl looking for mediocre sex, no chainsaw. I only have a cordless drill and a hammer. Mediocre sex it is..." Legend has it your cordless drill is on its last legs. And is somewhat ‘contaminated’ | |||
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"Milwaukee do cordless chainsaws" Long way to go for sex though That said. I am desperate | |||
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"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in)." If only | |||
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"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in). If only" I bet you're devastated. | |||
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"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in). If only I bet you're devastated. " 2 hours on the train. Worth it I suppose | |||
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"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in). If only I bet you're devastated. 2 hours on the train. Worth it I suppose " You need that line on copy and paste | |||
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"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in). If only I bet you're devastated. 2 hours on the train. Worth it I suppose " I am. | |||
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"Seeing as I’m a wood burner wanker and it’s starting to get chilly, I’m looking for a Cordless Chainsaw so I can nip into the council owned woodland across the road and bag myself some fallen branches. I’ll be needing to hack them into 16inch lengths before using my power splitting wedges to create some logs to burn on my romantic me-times. Any of you girls in the North West got an electric cordless chainsaw with a bar length of minimum 40cm (sorry for mixing metric and imperial in the same post) that I can use for a few hours in return for some mediocre sex? You’ll have to come to mine, obvs." I'd be too worried you'd climb a tree and saw off the limb you are sitting on, sorry. Only my uncle survived that one....most are not so fortunate. I'd hate to be responsible for your early demise. | |||
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"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying. I've got a multi-fuel Aga and two log burners, actually if you don't mind the work pallets are brilliant for log burners, just one palket can run my little burner for two nights churning out lots of heat. He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up. " Well at least he didn't use the sky remote as his unit of measurement. | |||
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"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying. I've got a multi-fuel Aga and two log burners, actually if you don't mind the work pallets are brilliant for log burners, just one palket can run my little burner for two nights churning out lots of heat. He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up. No. It’s definetly 16”. Twice the length of my finger and 4 times the length of my cock. I’ve never needed a ruler to work that shit out Anyroad.. back to the chainsaw please " A 16" chainsaw does not only cut 16" lengths. I once cut 4 ft with one! | |||
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"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying. I've got a multi-fuel Aga and two log burners, actually if you don't mind the work pallets are brilliant for log burners, just one palket can run my little burner for two nights churning out lots of heat. He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up. No. It’s definetly 16”. Twice the length of my finger and 4 times the length of my cock. I’ve never needed a ruler to work that shit out Anyroad.. back to the chainsaw please A 16" chainsaw does not only cut 16" lengths. I once cut 4 ft with one!" It’s the log burner which is 16” any bigger and I couldn’t get the door closed. | |||
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"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying. I've got a multi-fuel Aga and two log burners, actually if you don't mind the work pallets are brilliant for log burners, just one palket can run my little burner for two nights churning out lots of heat. " Standing deadwood's an option, pallets are great too and we have a local store that sells bagged softwood offcuts dirt cheap. | |||
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" I think your a lazy horror movie slasher. Come here victim and bring the chainsaw " If it's cordless at least you'll be able to hear the screams better. | |||
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"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise." Wow, that's cheap. | |||
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"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise. Wow, that's cheap." Sure they were cheaper than that! | |||
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"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise. Wow, that's cheap. Sure they were cheaper than that!" Cable ones are about £40. I bought one for my hedge. Cordless was too much, I thought, for all the hedge that I have. | |||
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"Petrol all the way for me, luckily i get all my logs free via work, wood store chocca for winter and about half a ton seasoning up the allotment for next year " As a woman, I find the petrol one's too heavy to handle, gave mine away when I divorced. | |||
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"Petrol all the way for me, luckily i get all my logs free via work, wood store chocca for winter and about half a ton seasoning up the allotment for next year As a woman, I find the petrol one's too heavy to handle, gave mine away when I divorced." I get that, but the weight helps when letting tool do the work. That and keeping the chain sharp | |||
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"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise. Wow, that's cheap. Sure they were cheaper than that! Cable ones are about £40. I bought one for my hedge. Cordless was too much, I thought, for all the hedge that I have. " I sometimes cut up fallen branches into sizes I can get into my car, take them home and use the more powerful electric to cut up. | |||
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"No, no, no - you need a manly petrol chainsaw. That way you can simultaneously cut through any log whilst visualising yourself battling hordes of the infected during a zombie apocalypse " Boom stick needed too | |||
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"Oh and stop being so lazy bowsaws are perfectly good for non-commercial tree felling and logging. " Ma mate got one stuck cos he went in at the wrong side Luckily he only lived a few doors down and I got mine out and rescued him to save further embarrassment | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol " A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task " true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment " Same here Taff. I’m planning to put 2 poundshop (and girls, that’s 12 for £1) condoms on invade of slippage. | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment " 1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas. 2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage. 3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment 1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas. 2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage. 3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option " All you need is a Freddy Kruger mask, then you're ready to go | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment 1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas. 2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage. 3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option All you need is a Freddy Kruger mask, then you're ready to go " Does he use petrol though | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment 1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas. 2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage. 3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option All you need is a Freddy Kruger mask, then you're ready to go Does he use petrol though " Oh yeah, but as he's a tough kinda dude, he tops up with 5*. Remember that? | |||
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"I might be a bit girly but aren't most Chain saws cordless? All the ones I've ever seen have been (that's probably only 2 so maybe jog a representative sample ) " Nah. Some have a chargeable battery, and free of cords. Some are electric that you plug in like your hoover. Some are petrol powered and are in effect 'cordless' | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me" Drive to you ? No deal | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me Drive to you ? No deal " Is the wood at your house? | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me" I only do mediocre with people that I don't really like. | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me Drive to you ? No deal Is the wood at your house?" Nope, but the car petrol and delivery time was not included. If I wanted to borrow something, I would put myself out to collect and return. | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me I only do mediocre with people that I don't really like." If that’s a invitation Richard I’ll be wearing slightly more than 2 poundshop condoms | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me Drive to you ? No deal Is the wood at your house? Nope, but the car petrol and delivery time was not included. If I wanted to borrow something, I would put myself out to collect and return." The sex!! | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me Drive to you ? No deal Is the wood at your house? Nope, but the car petrol and delivery time was not included. If I wanted to borrow something, I would put myself out to collect and return. The sex!!" I can accommodate | |||
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"I was just looking at some two stroke beauties. Then I got an erection..... " But you need to add lube | |||
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"A chainsaw has to be petrol A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment " thats me.. chainsaw trousers visor and boots..sooo freakin sexy | |||
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"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered. Mediocre sex in return. You come to me I only do mediocre with people that I don't really like. If that’s a invitation Richard I’ll be wearing slightly more than 2 poundshop condoms" Oh yeah, I can up ma game as well ya know | |||
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"Oh god. The permission pixies. Can we ever make a decision on our own? Do it and live with the consequences." I'm A Lumberjack And I'm Okay www.youtube.com/watch?v=89LfQUlcNFk | |||
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"Just out of interest OP, have you asked the local authority / owners of the land for permission to remove these branches? You might want to check with them. You can't just go helping yourself you know" You can if they are not looking | |||
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"Just out of interest OP, have you asked the local authority / owners of the land for permission to remove these branches? You might want to check with them. You can't just go helping yourself you know You can if they are not looking " I think that's only conifers though | |||
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"Just out of interest OP, have you asked the local authority / owners of the land for permission to remove these branches? You might want to check with them. You can't just go helping yourself you know You can if they are not looking I think that's only conifers though " I think the OP's timing is suspicious, expect he will have a pickup full of Norwegian Spruce, with a xmas trees sign painted on cardboard in a carpark soon... | |||
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