FabSwingers.com forum: Cordless chainsaw.

By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

Seeing as I’m a wood burner wanker and it’s starting to get chilly, I’m looking for a Cordless Chainsaw so I can nip into the council owned woodland across the road and bag myself some fallen branches. I’ll be needing to hack them into 16inch lengths before using my power splitting wedges to create some logs to burn on my romantic me-times.

Any of you girls in the North West got an electric cordless chainsaw with a bar length of minimum 40cm (sorry for mixing metric and imperial in the same post) that I can use for a few hours in return for some mediocre sex? You’ll have to come to mine, obvs.

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

Bump

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"Seeing as I’m a wood burner wanker and it’s starting to get chilly, I’m looking for a Cordless Chainsaw so I can nip into the council owned woodland across the road and bag myself some fallen branches. I’ll be needing to hack them into 16inch lengths before using my power splitting wedges to create some logs to burn on my romantic me-times.

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

So smug. So cruel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying.

I've got a multi-fuel Aga and two log burners, actually if you don't mind the work pallets are brilliant for log burners, just one palket can run my little burner for two nights churning out lots of heat.

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

7kW doc. Dunno if that’s big or not.

I have loads of pallets, but I prefer the au naturel look (in my logs).

I’m after the branches that fell earlier in the year. It’s this time of year that makes you start thinking about it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return "

F&B has a leaf blower now so he’s all good.

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return "

Er...? But who is having the mediocre sex?

You’ll have to do it on his behalf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying.

He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return

Er...? But who is having the mediocre sex?

You’ll have to do it on his behalf"

Damn, I always get the short straw!!

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying.

He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up.

No. It’s definetly 16”. Twice the length of my finger and 4 times the length of my cock.

I’ve never needed a ruler to work that shit out

Anyroad.. back to the chainsaw please

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"Fabulous and bearded has one, but you will have to trade him a leaf blower in return

Er...? But who is having the mediocre sex?

You’ll have to do it on his behalf

Damn, I always get the short straw!!"

Fight her for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"7kW doc. Dunno if that’s big or not.

I have loads of pallets, but I prefer the au naturel look (in my logs).

I’m after the branches that fell earlier in the year. It’s this time of year that makes you start thinking about it.."

I know what you mean but pallets do churn out heat and the corners give off a good flame when burning. Do you convert the "middle" of the pallets in to kindling?

Log burners need to be thought about in the summer, converted 20 pallets then in to kindling and "logs".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in)."

Oh for God's sake, not Fab. Whichever part of the UK.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I can't remember the link, but there was a guy who posted a thread on here asking for advise on how to cut a tree down with a chainsaw. This went on for months and he was given loads of useful information. It turned out that it was only a 15' conifer

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

I like the corner pieces of a pallet like any man Doc.

The middle bits I don’t use for kindling, I just sort of burn them.

Kindling wise, I like to stay trad. I use sticks made out of rolled up newspaper. Ideally the Daily Express but if not that anything I can pick up on a train seat.

Side note: last week I was handed a questionnaire to fill in about my train journey. ‘Great’ I thought. ‘But, how can I possibly comment?’ I then thought ‘fuck this questionnaire shit, why should I tell them how to run their railway..’ noticed a newspaper on the seat opposite. Metro. 8 October 2018. They don’t have to put up with this in Switzerland

PM for my Swiss railway stories. Or if you have a chainsaw I can borrow. Or if you’re a girl looking for mediocre sex, no chainsaw.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I can't remember the link, but there was a guy who posted a thread on here asking for advise on how to cut a tree down with a chainsaw. This went on for months and he was given loads of useful information. It turned out that it was only a 15' conifer

*advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like the corner pieces of a pallet like any man Doc.

The middle bits I don’t use for kindling, I just sort of burn them.

Kindling wise, I like to stay trad. I use sticks made out of rolled up newspaper. Ideally the Daily Express but if not that anything I can pick up on a train seat.

PM for my Swiss railway stories. Or if you have a chainsaw I can borrow. Or if you’re a girl looking for mediocre sex, no chainsaw."

I only have a cordless drill and a hammer. Mediocre sex it is...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Milwaukee do cordless chainsaws

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

Great 15’ conifer story too Ace.

So.. one late summer back in the day my Mum’s mate has driven into one of the gateposts at chez Wiggins. Leaving it bent over. Wiggins senior has thought of chaining it to the cars and dragging it straight but my mum’s dad has better ideas. ‘What you want to do with this mike, is heat it right up with the Blow lamp at the base before you drag it straight..’

Side note: the gatepost is about 4’ Away from the 15’ conifer.

My mum comes out the door with a ‘DAD!!! What the Hell are you doing...?’

At which point old grandad turns round with the blow lamp in his hand. That conifer lasted about 40 seconds WWWHHHUUUUMMMPF

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"I like the corner pieces of a pallet like any man Doc.

The middle bits I don’t use for kindling, I just sort of burn them.

Kindling wise, I like to stay trad. I use sticks made out of rolled up newspaper. Ideally the Daily Express but if not that anything I can pick up on a train seat.

PM for my Swiss railway stories. Or if you have a chainsaw I can borrow. Or if you’re a girl looking for mediocre sex, no chainsaw.

I only have a cordless drill and a hammer. Mediocre sex it is..."

Legend has it your cordless drill is on its last legs. And is somewhat ‘contaminated’

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"Milwaukee do cordless chainsaws"

Long way to go for sex though

That said. I am desperate

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in)."

If only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in).

If only"

I bet you're devastated.

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in).

If only

I bet you're devastated. "

2 hours on the train. Worth it I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in).

If only

I bet you're devastated.

2 hours on the train. Worth it I suppose "

You need that line on copy and paste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If only you were in the ( whichever part of Fab they have put me in).

If only

I bet you're devastated.

2 hours on the train. Worth it I suppose "

I am.

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

I'd be too worried you'd climb a tree and saw off the limb you are sitting on, sorry.

Only my uncle survived that one....most are not so fortunate. I'd hate to be responsible for your early demise.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

What about leaving the wood in Its natural environment, where it will support a multitude of wildlife and its nutrients will replenish the earth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit late in the year, we do all our wood gathering in the summer.

Get a petrol chainsaw Al Pacino recommends them.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying.

He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up.

Well at least he didn't use the sky remote as his unit of measurement.

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By *vcarolTV/TS
over a year ago

kilmarnockish

Mike or Bradley not sure if you’ve used the log splitter to do your personality as well, but , having dealt with a fair share of wood over the years. You need to look at the width of the limb itself.

Now , walking about your local council woodland with a big chopper in hand, may cause alarm.

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

Beware of the potentially very irrate contryside rangers they tend to be a tad miffed at people messing up their management plans. I once saw one who get so annoyed he nearly set the rest of the site alight when someone (badly) felled the rare wild service tree on his site.

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

Oh and stop being so lazy bowsaws are perfectly good for non-commercial tree felling and logging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a woodsman i d say you ll still need to dry any wood you pick up as it will be ground wet throughout and if its under a foot diameter i agree... Get a good bowsaw, tgat way you stay warm doing job, arm muscles build for benefit of the ladies and you dont get in shit for having power tools on someone elses ground.. I mean you can get nicked for carrying a penknife outside of your own property... Soo sad... Who knows whilst stroking with your new big handtool a lovely lady may cum along that needs a lil something to make her feel hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your a lazy horror movie slasher.

Come here victim and bring the chainsaw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying.

He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up.

No. It’s definetly 16”. Twice the length of my finger and 4 times the length of my cock.

I’ve never needed a ruler to work that shit out

Anyroad.. back to the chainsaw please "

A 16" chainsaw does not only cut 16" lengths. I once cut 4 ft with one!

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying.

He’s just a typical man and got his measurements mixed up.

No. It’s definetly 16”. Twice the length of my finger and 4 times the length of my cock.

I’ve never needed a ruler to work that shit out

Anyroad.. back to the chainsaw please

A 16" chainsaw does not only cut 16" lengths. I once cut 4 ft with one!"

It’s the log burner which is 16” any bigger and I couldn’t get the door closed.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm all electric ..bit of a bugger in a power cut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"16" lengths, you've got a large log burner! But if you mean cutting up wood for burning this winter it'll be too green, you need to season it well, sometimes a couple of years if it natural drying.

Standing deadwood's an option, pallets are great too and we have a local store that sells bagged softwood offcuts dirt cheap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your a lazy horror movie slasher.

Come here victim and bring the chainsaw "

If it's cordless at least you'll be able to hear the screams better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a cordless chainsaw and electric. The battery chainsaws will only run for about 30 mins when cutting anything sustantial.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise."

Wow, that's cheap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you might find these videos helpful

https://www.youtube.com/user/WOODLANDSTV/search?query=firewood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise.

Wow, that's cheap."

Sure they were cheaper than that!

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise.

Wow, that's cheap.

Sure they were cheaper than that!"

Cable ones are about £40. I bought one for my hedge. Cordless was too much, I thought, for all the hedge that I have.

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By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Petrol all the way for me, luckily i get all my logs free via work, wood store chocca for winter and about half a ton seasoning up the allotment for next year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Petrol all the way for me, luckily i get all my logs free via work, wood store chocca for winter and about half a ton seasoning up the allotment for next year

As a woman, I find the petrol one's too heavy to handle, gave mine away when I divorced.

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By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"Petrol all the way for me, luckily i get all my logs free via work, wood store chocca for winter and about half a ton seasoning up the allotment for next year

As a woman, I find the petrol one's too heavy to handle, gave mine away when I divorced."

I get that, but the weight helps when letting tool do the work.

That and keeping the chain sharp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you send me £130, I'll pop to Lidl and buy their cordless chainsaw for you. Promise.

Wow, that's cheap.

Sure they were cheaper than that!

Cable ones are about £40. I bought one for my hedge. Cordless was too much, I thought, for all the hedge that I have.

I sometimes cut up fallen branches into sizes I can get into my car, take them home and use the more powerful electric to cut up.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

No, no, no - you need a manly petrol chainsaw.

That way you can simultaneously cut through any log whilst visualising yourself battling hordes of the infected during a zombie apocalypse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go to Aldi, 3rd shelf on the right across from the soup and next to the Turnips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/11/18 15:36:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, no, no - you need a manly petrol chainsaw.

That way you can simultaneously cut through any log whilst visualising yourself battling hordes of the infected during a zombie apocalypse

Boom stick needed too

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Oh and stop being so lazy bowsaws are perfectly good for non-commercial tree felling and logging.

Ma mate got one stuck cos he went in at the wrong side

Luckily he only lived a few doors down and I got mine out and rescued him to save further embarrassment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A chainsaw has to be petrol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Sorry mine is electric

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

"
true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment

Same here Taff. I’m planning to put 2 poundshop (and girls, that’s 12 for £1) condoms on invade of slippage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment

1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas.

2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage.

3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment

1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas.

2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage.

3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option

All you need is a Freddy Kruger mask, then you're ready to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment

1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas.

2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage.

3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option

All you need is a Freddy Kruger mask, then you're ready to go

Does he use petrol though

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I might be a bit girly but aren't most Chain saws cordless? All the ones I've ever seen have been (that's probably only 2 so maybe jog a representative sample

)

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment

1. Battery chainsaw. Light and manoeverable. Limited power. Accessible to many areas.

2. Electric chainsaw. More power. Not too heavy. Limited area usage.

3. Petrol chainsaw. Can't feckin pull the cord hard enough to start it. Can't hold it for more than a few minutes. Too heavy. Not an option

All you need is a Freddy Kruger mask, then you're ready to go

Does he use petrol though

Oh yeah, but as he's a tough kinda dude, he tops up with 5*. Remember that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I might be a bit girly but aren't most Chain saws cordless? All the ones I've ever seen have been (that's probably only 2 so maybe jog a representative sample

) "

Nah. Some have a chargeable battery, and free of cords. Some are electric that you plug in like your hoover. Some are petrol powered and are in effect 'cordless'

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me"

Drive to you ? No deal

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me

Drive to you ? No deal

Is the wood at your house?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me"

I only do mediocre with people that I don't really like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me

Drive to you ? No deal

Is the wood at your house?"

Nope, but the car petrol and delivery time was not included. If I wanted to borrow something, I would put myself out to collect and return.

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me

I only do mediocre with people that I don't really like."

If that’s a invitation Richard I’ll be wearing slightly more than 2 poundshop condoms

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me

Drive to you ? No deal

Is the wood at your house?

Nope, but the car petrol and delivery time was not included. If I wanted to borrow something, I would put myself out to collect and return."

The sex!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me

Drive to you ? No deal

Is the wood at your house?

Nope, but the car petrol and delivery time was not included. If I wanted to borrow something, I would put myself out to collect and return.

The sex!!"

I can accommodate

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I was just looking at some two stroke beauties.

Then I got an erection.....

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By *radleywiggins OP Man
over a year ago

northwest

"I was just looking at some two stroke beauties.

Then I got an erection..... "

But you need to add lube

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"A chainsaw has to be petrol

A chainsaw has to be the safest version for the person and the task

true and they have to learn properly how to use it and always have the correct protective equipment

"
thats me.. chainsaw trousers visor and boots..sooo freakin sexy

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Just to clear this up. I’m looking for ‘cordless’, rechargeable battery powered.

Mediocre sex in return. You come to me

I only do mediocre with people that I don't really like.

If that’s a invitation Richard I’ll be wearing slightly more than 2 poundshop condoms"

Oh yeah, I can up ma game as well ya know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have a cordless chainsaw - it ran on petrol.

Sadly I lost it when I split with the ex in 2010.

I miss that chainsaw.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Perhaps check out woodsman monthly.

For 50 quid you can get a second hand petrol. Thats the only kind of cordless worth having

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just out of interest OP, have you asked the local authority / owners of the land for permission to remove these branches?

You might want to check with them. You can't just go helping yourself you know

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Oh god. The permission pixies. Can we ever make a decision on our own?

Do it and live with the consequences.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Oh god. The permission pixies. Can we ever make a decision on our own?

Do it and live with the consequences."

I'm A Lumberjack And I'm Okay

www.youtube.com/watch?v=89LfQUlcNFk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have got a cordless chainsaw, but it ain't working on electrickery, good old 2 stroke.

Weirdly enough I did take it on a meet from here, tree blew down over neighbours garden so in I went chainsaw in hand, took most of the tree home in my van

But you can't borrow it cos I don't want the mediocre sex on offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just out of interest OP, have you asked the local authority / owners of the land for permission to remove these branches?

You might want to check with them. You can't just go helping yourself you know"

You can if they are not looking

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Just out of interest OP, have you asked the local authority / owners of the land for permission to remove these branches?

You might want to check with them. You can't just go helping yourself you know

You can if they are not looking

I think that's only conifers though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just out of interest OP, have you asked the local authority / owners of the land for permission to remove these branches?

You might want to check with them. You can't just go helping yourself you know

You can if they are not looking

I think that's only conifers though

I think the OP's timing is suspicious, expect he will have a pickup full of Norwegian Spruce, with a xmas trees sign painted on cardboard in a carpark soon...

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