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Why don't you search for men?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I’d much rather do rumpy pumpy with the laydeez

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I do that every so often on a dating site it never turns out well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because then we would have to focus on work or some other mundane task instead of spamming 150 women an hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you'll find those with any sense and confidence do.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I don’t have a need to I suppose.

I did once when I first joined and that has gone brilliantly well

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

Having previously been part of swinging couple we found that whilst we didn't need to we got a better experience through being proactive with seeking single men.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

That is mostly what I do these days. Occasionally I'll take some of my filters off if I'm feeling lazy, then I remember why I don't do it that way anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"

You telling me I should met men then heels?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I do - had a couple of good meets that way too b

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess as a single Male you gotta try and stand out. My profile could be crap to some but great to others. It’s very rare a profile can be appealing to others. Guess you have to mainly stand out in your msg you send. Read their profile then message accordingly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"

I do..

I'd never get anywhere if i didn't

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I have a saved search which I look at every so often. I think I'll do it today, see if there's any newbies! Thanks for the reminder

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think a lot of ladies do - I've certainly been contacted by a few during my time here.

It's just the false perception that men do all the hunting because of the number imbalance and the fact that you mostly only see threads moaning about the quality of messages (from women) and not getting replies (from men) that skews the perception.

Meanwhile there's a whole chunk of the site that go quietly about their business doing what works best for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the 8 years I've been on and off here, I generally block guys and search myself but there are a serious lack of decent informative male profiles that grab my attention enough for me to message them. I unblock now and then and see what comes my way but I do wonder how many decent blokes are missing out because they make little effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had some gems message me first, who I wouldn’t know were on here and local. But they tend to let you know, they don’t message many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't search for men

I don't search for women

I sit in the man cave....

Whittling

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I looked at my saved search. Over 300 results, thats prkbably why i dont look often! Anyway its prompted me to start a thread in site feedback f anyone would like to comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"

Cause I’m not meeting

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

hey, hey -i found one -quick, he's over here

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"
Yeah some women do but only the 1's with confidence. I think it is the traditional thinking that the man should make the move. The kind of men some can get on here I think they would be frightened of rejection if they put themselves up for it.

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By *nsatiable_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere down south


"Because I’d much rather do rumpy pumpy with the laydeez "

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall


"I

Meanwhile there's a whole chunk of the site that go quietly about their business doing what works best for them "

I think that's probably about right ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in quiet part Cornwall, (well Cornwall is pretty dead anyway) and there’s no one of interest down here, do a search now and again just to see if there any new fitties pop up

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

We search for men (and couples) from our couples account, there just isn't many suitable play mates out there.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lazy.

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths. "

Precisely why we keep all single males filtered out, and find one if we need one, the attitude that we might need to up our game to find suitable ones, that we actually like the attention of wanking idiots sending wanna fuck messages, that we prefer to moan than make an effort, or that we expect others to change, it's our game and we will continue to play it our way, if single males don't fit what we are looking for, we are not about to change to suit thier needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Partly laziness, partly because in general it works better if men do the chasing in my experience

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

I'll just carry on, sitting here in hope then...

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

Precisely why we keep all single males filtered out, and find one if we need one, the attitude that we might need to up our game to find suitable ones, that we actually like the attention of wanking idiots sending wanna fuck messages, that we prefer to moan than make an effort, or that we expect others to change, it's our game and we will continue to play it our way, if single males don't fit what we are looking for, we are not about to change to suit thier needs. "

You've adopted the ops suggestion of searching yourself. I suggest it to folk often..

So my points don't apply to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do - I block everyone and search and message myself

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths. "

Your four points are making a lot of assumptions!! How do you know they aren't searching themselves already, as well as allowing themselves to be searched, and covering all angles?

Just because someone moans about the quality of messages they receive doesn't mean they're not also sending them themselves as well for one, and for two they're perfectly entitled to complain regardless - a lot of men do send ridiculous messages expecting to get a meet - but every now and then one will come along that gets it, so why close your filters and miss out on that one?

Plus if moaning about the quality of messages changes just one single guys attitude and approach, it's a good thing surely?

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

Your four points are making a lot of assumptions!! How do you know they aren't searching themselves already, as well as allowing themselves to be searched, and covering all angles?

Just because someone moans about the quality of messages they receive doesn't mean they're not also sending them themselves as well for one, and for two they're perfectly entitled to complain regardless - a lot of men do send ridiculous messages expecting to get a meet - but every now and then one will come along that gets it, so why close your filters and miss out on that one?

Plus if moaning about the quality of messages changes just one single guys attitude and approach, it's a good thing surely?"

Well said and spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I search myself, but don't message loads, as not that many interest me. Status/photo updates prompt me to message (or block) quite often.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

I really don't have to -I get at least 3 a day in my inbox -pity most are illiterate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Proactive and gain

Reactive and wane

If you don't nosy round you may miss a diamond in the rough

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/feedback/820306

Any comments you add here will hopefully be seen by Fabmin. Well, I live in hope

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

My most recent verified meet and my probably the best one ever contacted me that however was after a chat in a club.Ive had a few people contact me after a club meet and been pleasantly surprised as it’s usually been when we’ve just chatted.

This isn’t a moan as I get exactly what I want from the site but I usually find messaging cold on here a waste of time so I don’t tend to bother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be worried about being blown out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of ladies do - I've certainly been contacted by a few during my time here.

It's just the false perception that men do all the hunting because of the number imbalance and the fact that you mostly only see threads moaning about the quality of messages (from women) and not getting replies (from men) that skews the perception.

Meanwhile there's a whole chunk of the site that go quietly about their business doing what works best for them "

The forum really does give a lot of folk misconceptions about Fab as a whole doesn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried searching for men myself. By the time I've gotten through the local men-who I don't meet-my eyes are crossed from all the scrolling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair OP, I'd say that more than half of the meets that I have had from here were instigated by ladies that messaged me first anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been lucky in that I have been approached by people I've been attracted to. If that were to change and I had no potential meets on the horizon then I probably would be proactive and do some searching.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"I've tried searching for men myself. By the time I've gotten through the local men-who I don't meet-my eyes are crossed from all the scrolling."

You do know that the coss eyed look is a fetish for some

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I think a lot of ladies do - I've certainly been contacted by a few during my time here.

It's just the false perception that men do all the hunting because of the number imbalance and the fact that you mostly only see threads moaning about the quality of messages (from women) and not getting replies (from men) that skews the perception.

Meanwhile there's a whole chunk of the site that go quietly about their business doing what works best for them

The forum really does give a lot of folk misconceptions about Fab as a whole doesn't it?"

Yep, double edged sword though - without it there's a heck of a lot of people I'd never have chatted to, let alone met

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot of ladies do - I've certainly been contacted by a few during my time here.

It's just the false perception that men do all the hunting because of the number imbalance and the fact that you mostly only see threads moaning about the quality of messages (from women) and not getting replies (from men) that skews the perception.

Meanwhile there's a whole chunk of the site that go quietly about their business doing what works best for them

The forum really does give a lot of folk misconceptions about Fab as a whole doesn't it?

Yep, double edged sword though - without it there's a heck of a lot of people I'd never have chatted to, let alone met "

Oh that was more of an aired thought about many others perceptions of what fab generally is. If it hadn't been for the forum I personally wouldn't have met even close to half as many folk on here I reckon. Nor made virtual aquaintances of many others that I hope to get to say hello to at social gatherings in the future. If I didn't like it I wouldn't still be on here

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

Your four points are making a lot of assumptions!! How do you know they aren't searching themselves already, as well as allowing themselves to be searched, and covering all angles?

Just because someone moans about the quality of messages they receive doesn't mean they're not also sending them themselves as well for one, and for two they're perfectly entitled to complain regardless - a lot of men do send ridiculous messages expecting to get a meet - but every now and then one will come along that gets it, so why close your filters and miss out on that one?

Plus if moaning about the quality of messages changes just one single guys attitude and approach, it's a good thing surely?

Well said and spot on. "

Folk have choices, use the tools or don't.. I receive junk mail in my post box at home., I can't block my letter box without causing myself lots of hassle..on here the site gives me tools to stop mail from those outside of my preferences. . if the messages I'm receiving caused me enough grief to complain I'd change something.

As for a guy changing its a maybe

a) they'd need to read the forum

b ) recognise their behaviour

and

c) then be willing to change,

the countless threads on messages behaviour don't seem to have that much of an effect.. those that get it already behave in an appropriate way..

Or folk can continue as they are and have the ' junk' mail along with the one every now and then .. makes zero difference to me

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"I've tried searching for men myself. By the time I've gotten through the local men-who I don't meet-my eyes are crossed from all the scrolling."

May I direct you to https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/feedback/820306

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

Your four points are making a lot of assumptions!! How do you know they aren't searching themselves already, as well as allowing themselves to be searched, and covering all angles?

Just because someone moans about the quality of messages they receive doesn't mean they're not also sending them themselves as well for one, and for two they're perfectly entitled to complain regardless - a lot of men do send ridiculous messages expecting to get a meet - but every now and then one will come along that gets it, so why close your filters and miss out on that one?

Plus if moaning about the quality of messages changes just one single guys attitude and approach, it's a good thing surely?

Well said and spot on.

Folk have choices, use the tools or don't.. I receive junk mail in my post box at home., I can't block my letter box without causing myself lots of hassle..on here the site gives me tools to stop mail from those outside of my preferences. . if the messages I'm receiving caused me enough grief to complain I'd change something.

As for a guy changing its a maybe

a) they'd need to read the forum

b ) recognise their behaviour

and

c) then be willing to change,

the countless threads on messages behaviour don't seem to have that much of an effect.. those that get it already behave in an appropriate way..

Or folk can continue as they are and have the ' junk' mail along with the one every now and then .. makes zero difference to me "

Again you're making assumptions that people aren't using the tools the site provides to stop mail from people outside their preferences - unless they filter out everything completely they still stand to receive junk mail in the same way as you not blocking your letterbox does, and per my previous response, are as a result, entitled to complain about it also, and certainly more so than the swathes of entitled single blokes moaning about lack of replies.

There is no magic answer that works all ways round - we each find our own way

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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago

wherever

I prefer to make first contact now. If I see something I like I go for it. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t. You can’t sit and Noam about only being contacted by undesirables of your nitvwilling to be proactive

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I do. That’s why the filters only come down on fpf.

I prefer to do the looking, when I’m looking. I know what I want

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

Your four points are making a lot of assumptions!! How do you know they aren't searching themselves already, as well as allowing themselves to be searched, and covering all angles?

Just because someone moans about the quality of messages they receive doesn't mean they're not also sending them themselves as well for one, and for two they're perfectly entitled to complain regardless - a lot of men do send ridiculous messages expecting to get a meet - but every now and then one will come along that gets it, so why close your filters and miss out on that one?

Plus if moaning about the quality of messages changes just one single guys attitude and approach, it's a good thing surely?

Well said and spot on.

Folk have choices, use the tools or don't.. I receive junk mail in my post box at home., I can't block my letter box without causing myself lots of hassle..on here the site gives me tools to stop mail from those outside of my preferences. . if the messages I'm receiving caused me enough grief to complain I'd change something.

As for a guy changing its a maybe

a) they'd need to read the forum

b ) recognise their behaviour

and

c) then be willing to change,

the countless threads on messages behaviour don't seem to have that much of an effect.. those that get it already behave in an appropriate way..

Or folk can continue as they are and have the ' junk' mail along with the one every now and then .. makes zero difference to me

Again you're making assumptions that people aren't using the tools the site provides to stop mail from people outside their preferences - unless they filter out everything completely they still stand to receive junk mail in the same way as you not blocking your letterbox does, and per my previous response, are as a result, entitled to complain about it also, and certainly more so than the swathes of entitled single blokes moaning about lack of replies.

There is no magic answer that works all ways round - we each find our own way "

Folk can complain (within the rules) they can post what they like, when folk do complain of receiving inappropriate messages I suggest they do apply the blocks their choice whether they do or not.

I'm not making any assumptions, those that start the threads complaining about the messages haven't applied the blocks..I know because I looked at their profile(s) we all have choices ..in this instance folk can change something or change nothing.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

Your four points are making a lot of assumptions!! How do you know they aren't searching themselves already, as well as allowing themselves to be searched, and covering all angles?

Just because someone moans about the quality of messages they receive doesn't mean they're not also sending them themselves as well for one, and for two they're perfectly entitled to complain regardless - a lot of men do send ridiculous messages expecting to get a meet - but every now and then one will come along that gets it, so why close your filters and miss out on that one?

Plus if moaning about the quality of messages changes just one single guys attitude and approach, it's a good thing surely?

Well said and spot on.

Folk have choices, use the tools or don't.. I receive junk mail in my post box at home., I can't block my letter box without causing myself lots of hassle..on here the site gives me tools to stop mail from those outside of my preferences. . if the messages I'm receiving caused me enough grief to complain I'd change something.

As for a guy changing its a maybe

a) they'd need to read the forum

b ) recognise their behaviour

and

c) then be willing to change,

the countless threads on messages behaviour don't seem to have that much of an effect.. those that get it already behave in an appropriate way..

Or folk can continue as they are and have the ' junk' mail along with the one every now and then .. makes zero difference to me

Again you're making assumptions that people aren't using the tools the site provides to stop mail from people outside their preferences - unless they filter out everything completely they still stand to receive junk mail in the same way as you not blocking your letterbox does, and per my previous response, are as a result, entitled to complain about it also, and certainly more so than the swathes of entitled single blokes moaning about lack of replies.

There is no magic answer that works all ways round - we each find our own way

Folk can complain (within the rules) they can post what they like, when folk do complain of receiving inappropriate messages I suggest they do apply the blocks their choice whether they do or not.

I'm not making any assumptions, those that start the threads complaining about the messages haven't applied the blocks..I know because I looked at their profile(s) we all have choices ..in this instance folk can change something or change nothing.

"

As has been said, a few times now, what if they don’t want to block all men because not all messages are unwanted? Is this not tarring all men with the same brush?

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"I'd be worried about being blown out

"

You get used to it quickly.

However, I think you'd be ok!

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths.

Your four points are making a lot of assumptions!! How do you know they aren't searching themselves already, as well as allowing themselves to be searched, and covering all angles?

Just because someone moans about the quality of messages they receive doesn't mean they're not also sending them themselves as well for one, and for two they're perfectly entitled to complain regardless - a lot of men do send ridiculous messages expecting to get a meet - but every now and then one will come along that gets it, so why close your filters and miss out on that one?

Plus if moaning about the quality of messages changes just one single guys attitude and approach, it's a good thing surely?

Well said and spot on.

Folk have choices, use the tools or don't.. I receive junk mail in my post box at home., I can't block my letter box without causing myself lots of hassle..on here the site gives me tools to stop mail from those outside of my preferences. . if the messages I'm receiving caused me enough grief to complain I'd change something.

As for a guy changing its a maybe

a) they'd need to read the forum

b ) recognise their behaviour

and

c) then be willing to change,

the countless threads on messages behaviour don't seem to have that much of an effect.. those that get it already behave in an appropriate way..

Or folk can continue as they are and have the ' junk' mail along with the one every now and then .. makes zero difference to me

Again you're making assumptions that people aren't using the tools the site provides to stop mail from people outside their preferences - unless they filter out everything completely they still stand to receive junk mail in the same way as you not blocking your letterbox does, and per my previous response, are as a result, entitled to complain about it also, and certainly more so than the swathes of entitled single blokes moaning about lack of replies.

There is no magic answer that works all ways round - we each find our own way

Folk can complain (within the rules) they can post what they like, when folk do complain of receiving inappropriate messages I suggest they do apply the blocks their choice whether they do or not.

I'm not making any assumptions, those that start the threads complaining about the messages haven't applied the blocks..I know because I looked at their profile(s) we all have choices ..in this instance folk can change something or change nothing.

As has been said, a few times now, what if they don’t want to block all men because not all messages are unwanted? Is this not tarring all men with the same brush? "

Then they'll need to accept they may get mail (just like the real world) they don't want.

and no I don't think it is.., I'd have thought ..believing all of whatever gender acted or behaved in the same manner based on a few interactions or experiences would be tarring all with the same brush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All my female and couple friends on here approached me first. It’s by far the best way.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I've tried searching for men myself. By the time I've gotten through the local men-who I don't meet-my eyes are crossed from all the scrolling."

Exactly, and it's so depressing scrolling through pages and pages of woefully inadequate profiles full of unsolicited cock pics!

Besides, I'm lazy.

And I'm also primal prey, so I need to be chased.

And I'm also older than most of the men I meet, and I ain't no cougar!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The search facilities are unwieldy even when I look very specifically (within five miles) for guys, and as others have said, it's incredibly depressing to trawl through so many awful profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All my female and couple friends on here approached me first. It’s by far the best way."

I’ll add I don’t think any of those friends found me via scrolling through the local searches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something, not even me. Alright? You dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've tried searching for men myself. By the time I've gotten through the local men-who I don't meet-my eyes are crossed from all the scrolling.

You do know that the coss eyed look is a fetish for some"

By some you mean you, don't you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something, not even me. Alright? You dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period"

I'm coming for you Fabby.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I do, and I've chatted to and met some lovely guys because of it

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By *otBunsHunWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"
I message men first if they have a good profile.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I suggest this on many threads, I often put the rationale of you know far better what you seek than the description your profile provides ...very few ladies who complain of the inappropriate messages lack of whatever seem to take on the suggestion.

I have two thoughts why.

1. They'd have to up their game if they messaged first.

2. They like the attention.

3. They'd prefer to moan than make the effort of searching themselves.

4. They hope everyone else will change so they don't have to.

P.S. I'm not good at maths. "

Probably b c and d.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve turned a few meet opportunities down from ladies who have messaged first... now I’m in my weird masturbation phase thing...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The search facilities are unwieldy even when I look very specifically (within five miles) for guys, and as others have said, it's incredibly depressing to trawl through so many awful profiles. "

Isn't it the same as trawling through an inbox of messages from awful profiles?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"

Ooh, ooh, sticks arm up like eager school boy in class, over here ladies, don't be shy, all messages answered!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I message men first if they have a good profile....."

So.. never?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

I message men first if they have a good profile.....

So.. never? "

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Most of my meets as a single came from women who messaged first, I rarely sent first messages. I'm just lazy.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Because in the main......their profile and pictures are shite!

Even when they ask to meet you in a first message, all they attach is their cock! Like that is going to sell themselves to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve turned a few meet opportunities down from ladies who have messaged first... now I’m in my weird masturbation phase thing..."

What did you say to these ladies. ‘Sorry love, not tonight, I’m staying in and having a Pot Noodle and a wank!’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because in the main......their profile and pictures are shite!

Even when they ask to meet you in a first message, all they attach is their cock! Like that is going to sell themselves to me "

But there’s is the best cock you ever did see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you cant win.

so why bother trying.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Because in the main......their profile and pictures are shite!

Even when they ask to meet you in a first message, all they attach is their cock! Like that is going to sell themselves to me

But there’s is the best cock you ever did see."

More like joining 'who is the biggest cock club'

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I would never send cock pics in first message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve turned a few meet opportunities down from ladies who have messaged first... now I’m in my weird masturbation phase thing...

What did you say to these ladies. ‘Sorry love, not tonight, I’m staying in and having a Pot Noodle and a wank!’"

Nar I just came up with an elaborate lie about them not being my type etc... not once mentioning that I’ve legit taken the skin off my penis!!... like 100% honestly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve turned a few meet opportunities down from ladies who have messaged first... now I’m in my weird masturbation phase thing...

What did you say to these ladies. ‘Sorry love, not tonight, I’m staying in and having a Pot Noodle and a wank!’

Nar I just came up with an elaborate lie about them not being my type etc... not once mentioning that I’ve legit taken the skin off my penis!!... like 100% honestly! "

By which I mean friction... not some weird flailing ritual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve turned a few meet opportunities down from ladies who have messaged first... now I’m in my weird masturbation phase thing...

What did you say to these ladies. ‘Sorry love, not tonight, I’m staying in and having a Pot Noodle and a wank!’

Nar I just came up with an elaborate lie about them not being my type etc... not once mentioning that I’ve legit taken the skin off my penis!!... like 100% honestly!

By which I mean friction... not some weird flailing ritual "

lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......"

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?"

What would qualify as a "crap profile" ? What's your take on it ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

What would qualify as a "crap profile" ? What's your take on it ?"

I don't really think any profiles are 'crap', just not compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men. "

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I hsvr have a saved search with everything Im looking for on it which i use every few months or so

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I hsvr have a saved search with everything Im looking for on it which i use every few months or so"

I'm thinking of all the other threads where women say they never go looking for men and just wait for mail. And all the men that say they have never received a first mail from a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you wanna see a crap profile look at mine.

its been deliberately done like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if you wanna see a crap profile look at mine.

its been deliberately done like that "

Yours is brilliant.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

I have been quite proactive in the past. Sometimes it might have been someone interesting I spotted on my local updates, other times it was someone I liked the sound of on the forums or chatrooms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/11/18 21:26:41]

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"I’ve turned a few meet opportunities down from ladies who have messaged first... now I’m in my weird masturbation phase thing...

What did you say to these ladies. ‘Sorry love, not tonight, I’m staying in and having a Pot Noodle and a wank!’

"

That sounds like a bloody good night. Stick a can of Kestral into the mix and it's perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust me heels its for a reason. every man is tarred with the same brush so im giving them what they want to hear and expect of a man.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Because I’d much rather do rumpy pumpy with the laydeez "

And so say all of us straight guys too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I don't want to turn into a fab man accusing everyone of being fake because they won't give me penis

*joking don't jump on me men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I hsvr have a saved search with everything Im looking for on it which i use every few months or so

I'm thinking of all the other threads where women say they never go looking for men and just wait for mail. And all the men that say they have never received a first mail from a woman. "

Well i don't recall when the last thread about that subject came up but you can't tar everyone with the same brush .. its almost as if you are doing a (shock horror) sweeping generalisation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I hsvr have a saved search with everything Im looking for on it which i use every few months or so

I'm thinking of all the other threads where women say they never go looking for men and just wait for mail. And all the men that say they have never received a first mail from a woman.

Well i don't recall when the last thread about that subject came up but you can't tar everyone with the same brush .. its almost as if you are doing a (shock horror) sweeping generalisation "

Which of course, you never do. Oh wait, you do it all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I hsvr have a saved search with everything Im looking for on it which i use every few months or so

I'm thinking of all the other threads where women say they never go looking for men and just wait for mail. And all the men that say they have never received a first mail from a woman.

Well i don't recall when the last thread about that subject came up but you can't tar everyone with the same brush .. its almost as if you are doing a (shock horror) sweeping generalisation

Which of course, you never do. Oh wait, you do it all the time. "

I'm just here for the bitchy comments

Keep going...

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I have a saved search with everything I'm looking for on it which I use every few months or so"

So do I

It yields the same shite time and time again unfortunately

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I have a saved search with everything I'm looking for on it which I use every few months or so

So do I

It yields the same shite time and time again unfortunately "

I suspect that geography has something to do with that.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I hsvr have a saved search with everything Im looking for on it which i use every few months or so

I'm thinking of all the other threads where women say they never go looking for men and just wait for mail. And all the men that say they have never received a first mail from a woman.

Well i don't recall when the last thread about that subject came up but you can't tar everyone with the same brush .. its almost as if you are doing a (shock horror) sweeping generalisation "

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The search facilities are unwieldy even when I look very specifically (within five miles) for guys, and as others have said, it's incredibly depressing to trawl through so many awful profiles.

Isn't it the same as trawling through an inbox of messages from awful profiles? "

I keep changing my mind on that very question. But ultimately, I think people looking for women can search more easily, as they have a much smaller pool.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"The search facilities are unwieldy even when I look very specifically (within five miles) for guys, and as others have said, it's incredibly depressing to trawl through so many awful profiles.

Isn't it the same as trawling through an inbox of messages from awful profiles?

I keep changing my mind on that very question. But ultimately, I think people looking for women can search more easily, as they have a much smaller pool. "

Good point!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Ultimately there is no single 'right way' to Fab - only 'your way

There are however plenty of wrong ways

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely it would be easier to go looking for the ones you fancy than waiting and hoping they will mail you?

It can't be "because they have crap profiles" - it will be the same if you sit waiting for mail then look at their profile.

If most profiles are shit why bother looking at all?

On what is your assumption that women do not search for men based on.....oh wait I forgot its an assumption......

It's not an assumption - it's a question to people who don't search for men.

But judging by most of the responses on here (mine included) most women do search for men ...

I hsvr have a saved search with everything Im looking for on it which i use every few months or so

I'm thinking of all the other threads where women say they never go looking for men and just wait for mail. And all the men that say they have never received a first mail from a woman.

Well i don't recall when the last thread about that subject came up but you can't tar everyone with the same brush .. its almost as if you are doing a (shock horror) sweeping generalisation "

How am I tarring everyone with the same brush? I'm just talking about the ones who say those things.

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

I personally think some people 's profile don't reflect the individual. Its only when you start to messaging the person and meet them, you find out who they really are. Yes my profile is limited, but it doesn't mean I'm lazy. Anyway i like the mystery of the unknown when i start messaging ladies.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Ultimately there is no single 'right way' to Fab - only 'your way

There are however plenty of wrong ways"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I search myself, but don't message loads, as not that many interest me. Status/photo updates prompt me to message (or block) quite often. "

I will message someone with an interesting status update but that doesn't necessarily mean that I fancy him

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