FabSwingers.com forum: Shitty Actors/Actresses

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Yep, we’re not talking about the Brando’s, Streep’s, and Olivier’s of this world, rather those in the relevant profession who’s thespian adroitness is shall we say upon considered reflection, questionable at best and bloody nonexistent at worst.

Simply list here those actors and actresses who you feel would probably be more suited to working behind the scenes as opposed to headlining.

I’ll get the ol’ bollock a’rolling by listing Keanu Reeves.

It truly pains me to propose him as

a) He’s apparently a genuinely lovely bloke and

b) I really like many of his movies

However.....his acting......

Off you go; There’s a pint glass of piss in it for anyone who can make me chuckle...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“HI. I’M BARRY SCOTT.”

Do you reckon his kids admit their dad is an 'actor'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of hollioaks ever

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

*sets timer for the first mention of Nicholas Cage*

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Arnie??

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Michael caine -he has only done one fucking character ever -no matter what the friggin role

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By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley

Jason Statham. He looks lovely but he just acts the same thing in every film...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jason Statham. He looks lovely but he just acts the same thing in every film..."
naaa snatch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sean Connery. How many Russian submarine captains have Scottish accents? Or immortal Portuguese nobleman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steven seagal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dwayne Johnson

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Dev from coronation street

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"Sean Connery. How many Russian submarine captains have Scottish accents? Or immortal Portuguese nobleman?"

Don't even go there on the second film -French guy playing Scots, Scots guy playing Portuguese -wtf was the casting director smoking that day.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Robin Nesbit..

It is the accent that grates sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If any of you have seen Fair City it's the whole cast

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Robin Nesbit..

It is the accent that grates sorry"

Never heard of him. Or her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*sets timer for the first mention of Nicholas Cage*

The bar has well and truly been set,erm erm I concede

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If any of you have seen Fair City it's the whole cast

One of that cast is my cousins son

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lisa Kudrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Steven seagal "

I really want to slap that man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Danny ( I'm a kid on hard man )

Dyer.

Stopped watching eastenders since he arrived

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Nicholas cage

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

My vote for the ultimate one trick pony just has to be Eddie Murphy.

Beverly Hills Cop, Beverly Hills Cop, and Beverly Hills Cop dressed up as an African prince.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dev from coronation street "

How that bloke makes a living is beyond me, that Nick character in there as well is shocking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Danny ( I'm a kid on hard man )

Dyer.

Stopped watching eastenders since he arrived

Check out Kevin Bridges scetch about that numpty

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"Michael caine -he has only done one fucking character ever -no matter what the friggin role"

Although he has played a lot of very similar characters I'll have to disagree on that one.

Just going back to his early days, Bromhead (Zulu) Alfie, and Harry Palmer (Ipcress File, Funeral in Berlin Etc.) were very different to each other.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Lesley Grantham.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Danny ( I'm a kid on hard man )

Dyer.

Stopped watching eastenders since he arrived

Check out Kevin Bridges scetch about that numpty

"
lol I'm Scottish lol Its legendary??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nicholas cage "
agreed...only ever plays the same character

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Ok I've nominated my one trick pony (Eddie Murphy) but my ultimate wooden actor oscar goes to Jean Claude Van Damme. He makes Seagal look like Olivier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adam Sandler - unfunny, practically all his films have product placements but it’s painfully obvious & bland guy surrounded by funnier more interesting actors

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Nicholas cage "

24 minutes it took!! Things must be slipping round here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ryan gosling pisses me off no end!walks round and doesn't even say much!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nicholas cage

24 minutes it took!! Things must be slipping round here!!

Woooaaa check thread

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Ryan gosling pisses me off no end!walks round and doesn't even say much!!!!"

Oh but doesn't he look pretty doing that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Danny ( I'm a kid on hard man )

Dyer.

Stopped watching eastenders since he arrived

Check out Kevin Bridges scetch about that numpty

lol I'm Scottish lol Its legendary??"

Sorry !!!

didn't check your location

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol NSA but such a boring actor!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ryan gosling pisses me off no end!walks round and doesn't even say much!!!!"

Yes he's a boring fucker,have you ever watched only god forgives,he didn't say nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but he made blade runner such a dissapointment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

charles bronson was fortunate enough to nab himself roles in lots of films where he played charles bronson

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Nicholas cage agreed...only ever plays the same character "

Clearly haven't watched many nic cage films. How does he always play the same? During his action phase maybe.

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Mr Potato head is playing Nicholas cage in a film of his life .....Mr potato head got the role coz he had all 3 faces on him

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Gwyneth paltrow

J lo

Winona Ryder

Adam Sandler and keanu Reeves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keanu Reeves in John Wick was amazing!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Keanu Reeves in John Wick was amazing! "
he wasn't in Dracula.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Sorry ladies...

Tom Hardy. Absolutely crap in the remake of mad max. Charlize Theron carried that film.

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By *oyle_45Man
over a year ago

Worthing

This won’t go down well but my personal opinion....

David Jason

Delboy, delboy working in a corner shop, Delboy in the country, delboy in the police

(I know they weren’t necessarily in that order)

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

No love tom hardy

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Dolph lundgren

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought Keanu did a good job as Theodore Logan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Helena Bonham Carter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry ladies...

Tom Hardy. Absolutely crap in the remake of mad max. Charlize Theron carried that film. "

He's great in Locke though, think he's better when not doing action stuff

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"Michael caine -he has only done one fucking character ever -no matter what the friggin role"

And a spiteful little Tory to boot.

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By *upremexMan
over a year ago

liverpool. huyton. near yewtree

Tom cruise...? The worst actor, plays Tom cruise in every crap film he makes.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Tom cruise...? The worst actor, plays Tom cruise in every crap film he makes."

Yes yes yes! I can't stand him!

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By *upremexMan
over a year ago

liverpool. huyton. near yewtree

Meryl street... Worst female actress, as dull as dish water.

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By *upremexMan
over a year ago

liverpool. huyton. near yewtree

Streep.

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Don't know his real name but Horatio Caine He has ruled

He must appear side on to camera hands on hips holding his jacket back in order to flash his badge/gun = dramatic pose

if glasses are on take them off and look at them thoughtfully before speaking = Dramatic delivery.

if classes are off then deliver killer line before putting then on = dramatic exit

Always kneel on one knee when speaking to children. And talk like a phone sex pest all husky and "trust me little johny.". = ensures your face is in shot when they film the kid.

God help me I still love the show. Written by xslutx

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By *upremexMan
over a year ago

liverpool. huyton. near yewtree

I think his name is David caruso.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Sylvester Stallone - even before he looked plastic his acting was wooden. Those kids in The Goonies especially the chubby one and the kid who went on to do Indiana Jones. More hammy and over the top than a pig on a rollercoaster.

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"Don't know his real name but Horatio Caine He has ruled

He must appear side on to camera hands on hips holding his jacket back in order to flash his badge/gun = dramatic pose

if glasses are on take them off and look at them thoughtfully before speaking = Dramatic delivery.

if classes are off then deliver killer line before putting then on = dramatic exit

Always kneel on one knee when speaking to children. And talk like a phone sex pest all husky and "trust me little johny.". = ensures your face is in shot when they film the kid.

God help me I still love the show. Written by xslutx"

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Jean Claude van damme.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Not the worst but still pretty poor and limited - Top Gun guy, Scientology dick

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I think his name is David caruso. "

I think....you mean....

*Takes shades off

David.....Caruso.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sylvester Stallone - even before he looked plastic his acting was wooden. Those kids in The Goonies especially the chubby one and the kid who went on to do Indiana Jones. More hammy and over the top than a pig on a rollercoaster."

And yet I loved The Goonies then and still do now

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"Don't know his real name but Horatio Caine He has ruled

He must appear side on to camera hands on hips holding his jacket back in order to flash his badge/gun = dramatic pose

if glasses are on take them off and look at them thoughtfully before speaking = Dramatic delivery.

if classes are off then deliver killer line before putting then on = dramatic exit

Always kneel on one knee when speaking to children. And talk like a phone sex pest all husky and "trust me little johny.". = ensures your face is in shot when they film the kid.

God help me I still love the show. Written by xslutx"

I just snortled... Agreed David Caruso is dreadfully hammy!

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By *upremexMan
over a year ago

liverpool. huyton. near yewtree

All cast members of coronation Street. .. just awful and cast of neighbours are even worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kylie Minogue....another thing she has absolutely no talent at. If only the music producers would drop her like the movie folk done. Talentless wee boot

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Kylie Minogue....another thing she has absolutely no talent at. If only the music producers would drop her like the movie folk done. Talentless wee boot "

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Madonna

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How has no one mentioned William Shatner yet?

The usual suspects otherwise

Keanu Reeves

Hayden Christensen

Danny Dire

Kevin Costner

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Alex pettyfer.

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

Ben Affleck has got to be THE most wooden boring charisma repellent actors in Hollywood...his Batman is diabolicle.

Also if Sharon Stone hadnt have got her minge out in Basic Instinct i doubt she'd even make Geordie Shore in todays casting standards...did she even do anything else???

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By *icksoneMan
over a year ago

oldham

"Michael caine -he has only done one fucking character ever -no matter what the friggin role

And a spiteful little Tory to boot."

Served as a soldier in Korea and saw action.

Still your right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion Burton, Hopkins and Dench are all over rated.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"In my opinion Burton, Hopkins and Dench are all over rated."
Hopkins yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Russell Crowe, dire acting skills, seems to get star roles for what?

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"Dev from coronation street "

He’s that wooden he should be sponsored by Cuprinol

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Everyone who was in baywatch.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Of late, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney.

Any script will do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Charlie Hunnam in the first few seasons of SOA..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Drew Barrymore.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Jason Statham. He looks lovely but he just acts the same thing in every film...naaa snatch "

Snatch is my favourite film , ever !

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Jamie Lee Curtis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kirsten Stewart. Truly awful one trick pony.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Kirsten Stewart. Truly awful one trick pony."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jason Statham. He looks lovely but he just acts the same thing in every film...naaa snatch

Snatch is my favourite film , ever !

Guy Richie is the one to praise for that.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Mia Farrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The new Dr who whatever her name is a lot of pc crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Idris Elba - bag of shite actor

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Idris Elba - bag of shite actor "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“HI. I’M BARRY SCOTT.”

Do you reckon his kids admit their dad is an 'actor'?"

I've thought this for years! ..and why does he scream everything?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never liked mike reid samantha womack.matthew broderick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kirsten Stewart.

I started watching Personal Shopper the other day and 20 minutes in I had to turn it off.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Sandra Bullock

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By *heislanderMan
over a year ago

cheshunt

Hugh Grant

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Hugh Grant"
yes xx

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

well i think we've pretty much written off about 70% of British TV actors and 95% of Hollywood so far

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Reece Witherspoon.

What a smarm.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Reece Witherspoon.

What a smarm."

Grease Witherspoon my other half calls her

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Reece Witherspoon.

What a smarm.

Grease Witherspoon my other half calls her "

Suppose it’s hard running all those pubs and having an acting career

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By *notherGirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Somewhere

Drew Barrymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jason Statham. He looks lovely but he just acts the same thing in every film...naaa snatch

Snatch is my favourite film , ever !

Guy Richie is the one to praise for that.

"
yes but i was saying hes a totally different character not a crazy ninja action guy just a blagger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Russell Crowe, dire acting skills, seems to get star roles for what?

"
because if you dont adore him he will seek his vengence in this life or the next rusty is a legend man

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Kevin Spacey. No matter what character he's playing or what the movie is about... The 'smug git' persona is always there.

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By *orningtonCroissantMan
over a year ago

notts and humberside

Mel Gibson

Catherine zeta jones

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Adam woodyatt

(Ian Beale)

God he can’t act at all!!

How he’s managed to stay in eastenders so long is a mystery to me

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