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"Oh God, more bloody dating advice. How did we manage before the internet was invented ![]() I used to meet men and women in pubs and clubs back in the day ![]() | |||
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"Oh God, more bloody dating advice. How did we manage before the internet was invented ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? " Non existent at the mo ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() I know for a fact that you're just being cheeky ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? Non existent at the mo ![]() And we are waiting for you to dip your toe into it first ![]() ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() ![]() ![]() Haha there may have been a slight touch up ![]() ![]() | |||
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"You can’t flash folk in public " Oh maybe thats what Im going wrong. I must stop wearing that long coat ![]() | |||
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"You can’t flash folk in public Oh maybe thats what Im going wrong. I must stop wearing that long coat ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? Non existent at the mo ![]() ![]() ![]() That's exactly what scares the shit out of me ![]() ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Are you talking about those filters that make your skin look better? | |||
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"Oh God, more bloody dating advice. How did we manage before the internet was invented ![]() ![]() Who says we're not? And how do you know that back when we were dating there wasn't people who struggled, the same as we are supposedly struggling now? | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yes, not the dog ears or butterflies circling my head ![]() | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? Non existent at the mo ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Are you seriously scared to date someone? | |||
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"Oh God, more bloody dating advice. How did we manage before the internet was invented ![]() ![]() Are you talking from experience because if that were me I would say hello back and have a conversation. | |||
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"My body language hasn’t changed. Men simply don’t come up to women the way they used to. Many of my girlfriends have experienced the same thing. And it doesn’t matter how hot you look. Ps most men are looking down at their phones too. I think it’s a good theory though. " Offline is the new online ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? Non existent at the mo ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I get pretty bad approach anxiety from walking up to attractive women with a view to asking them out. I was in the cafe a couple of weeks ago when a woman walked in and we both spotted each other. She sat down facing me. Open to me saying hi. And I just sat sweating in the corner trying to egg myself into doing it. Just as I was about to do it (I'd like to think haha) some big dude walked in and sat with her. Phew that was close, I thought. But then he starts telling her about his wife and suddenly everything's open again... only I've run out of time and needed to pick up my boy. Welcome to just one completely fuddled almost dating experience in my long line of them haha ![]() | |||
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"My body language hasn’t changed. Men simply don’t come up to women the way they used to. Many of my girlfriends have experienced the same thing. And it doesn’t matter how hot you look. Ps most men are looking down at their phones too. I think it’s a good theory though. Offline is the new online ![]() ![]() Offline real life with real people is the way to go. In 10 years of being on line on and off to date Ive not met anyone who I wanted to met again. ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() She's being cheeky. She'd look gorgeous with a MingeMan turban teacosy on her head ![]() ![]() | |||
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"My body language hasn’t changed. Men simply don’t come up to women the way they used to. Many of my girlfriends have experienced the same thing. And it doesn’t matter how hot you look. Ps most men are looking down at their phones too. I think it’s a good theory though. Offline is the new online ![]() ![]() Go for it OP! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I only asked as I dont use the skin ones.. | |||
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"My body language hasn’t changed. Men simply don’t come up to women the way they used to. Many of my girlfriends have experienced the same thing. And it doesn’t matter how hot you look. Ps most men are looking down at their phones too. I think it’s a good theory though. Offline is the new online ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Either that or make her jump out of her skin and run away screaming ![]() | |||
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"I've just been watching an interesting video by a woman for women. It's basically similar to some of the dating advice videos I've been watching, but aimed at women. It's very very simple so don't expect any major revelations. But I think she makes a very good point. This is that... Seeing as men are expected to make the first move, and many women like that in a man, the role of a woman is to create an air of approachability. When entering a new room take a brief look around. The guys who clock you are probably single (well that's her theory haha but we'll run with it for now). Feel free to smile back to let them know you're friendly. Then maybe sit in such a way as you can see them. Don't dive into your phone or wear your headphones. Try and create an openness into which a man might approach. In the end you're trying to give off an air that you won't freak out if you're approached. You won't think they're a creep. That you're ready and happy to be engaged and that it's safe for the man to do so. This all sounds super simple. But it makes a massive difference from a guy's perspective. The above advice isn't mine, although I agree with it. It's from this video I watched. So don't shoot the messenger if you've got any issues with it. If you're going through life giving guys the cold shoulder and then pulling your hair out with online dating perhaps it's time to rethink whether you wouldn't prefer to connect with someone offline where at least you can immediately tell if there's chemistry or not " Or.....go dancing and see what it feels like in the arms of every man in the room! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? Non existent at the mo ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You really need to relax and not overthink these things. What's the worse that can happen? | |||
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"You can if your a women if your a man its a bit creepy xxx" ? I don't get what you're saying. Are you talking about offline asking people out? Because the whole point of the video I described is that there are things women can do to help men feel that it's not creepy. Yes it's creepy to surprise a woman from behind, get her to take her headphones off, and then ask for her number. But if you've made good eye contact instead and her body language is open and she's not plugged into her tech then it needn't be creepy at all to go over and say hi | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? Non existent at the mo ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Believe me that was what I was repeating to myself but it's a genuine illogical anxiety that's deep in there and I'm not the only guy who's got it. Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. Women don't get it because they're the ones who do the selecting and judging. I once queued up for ages in WHSmith because there was a girl I had the hots for at the counter. When I eventually got there I just asked for her number and she said no. I went bright red and everyone in the queue was staring at me. It was awful and I slinked away. Outside I decided my love for her was too profound to let it go at that. So I manned up and waited several hours for her to finish work before pouncing on her as she left the shop and asking her out again. At which she freaked and ran down the street haha ![]() | |||
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"Op....FAF?" Well that's much more concise dating advice for women but yes that'd work too ![]() | |||
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"Hows your dating experience going anyway OP? Non existent at the mo ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() If we made ourselves too open to being approached we would be batting them off with a stick. | |||
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"Oh God, more bloody dating advice. How did we manage before the internet was invented ![]() ![]() She's closed herself off for a reason. She's doing her own thing. She doesn't want to be approached. Maybe she has social anxiety and listening to music on her phone helps her to get outside. Or should all women just sit there waiting for men to ask them out. Don't read their phones or chat to friends on text or listen to music. Sit and wait for a total stranger to talk to them. | |||
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" She's closed herself off for a reason. She's doing her own thing. She doesn't want to be approached. " Amen. | |||
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"Oh God, more bloody dating advice. How did we manage before the internet was invented ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I once queued up for ages in WHSmith because there was a girl I had the hots for at the counter. When I eventually got there I just asked for her number and she said no. I went bright red and everyone in the queue was staring at me. It was awful and I slinked away. Outside I decided my love for her was too profound to let it go at that. So I manned up and waited several hours for her to finish work before pouncing on her as she left the shop and asking her out again. At which she freaked and ran down the street haha ![]() This is really lousy behaviour by the way. She said no. | |||
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"I once queued up for ages in WHSmith because there was a girl I had the hots for at the counter. When I eventually got there I just asked for her number and she said no. I went bright red and everyone in the queue was staring at me. It was awful and I slinked away. Outside I decided my love for her was too profound to let it go at that. So I manned up and waited several hours for her to finish work before pouncing on her as she left the shop and asking her out again. At which she freaked and ran down the street haha ![]() I’m pretty sure it’s a joke | |||
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"I’m pretty sure it’s a joke" Couldn't read it as one, but nice if it is. | |||
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"You can’t flash folk in public " Spoilsport ![]() | |||
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"I've just been watching an interesting video by a woman for women. It's basically similar to some of the dating advice videos I've been watching, but aimed at women. It's very very simple so don't expect any major revelations. But I think she makes a very good point. This is that... Seeing as men are expected to make the first move, and many women like that in a man, the role of a woman is to create an air of approachability. When entering a new room take a brief look around. The guys who clock you are probably single (well that's her theory haha but we'll run with it for now). Feel free to smile back to let them know you're friendly. Then maybe sit in such a way as you can see them. Don't dive into your phone or wear your headphones. Try and create an openness into which a man might approach. In the end you're trying to give off an air that you won't freak out if you're approached. You won't think they're a creep. That you're ready and happy to be engaged and that it's safe for the man to do so. This all sounds super simple. But it makes a massive difference from a guy's perspective. The above advice isn't mine, although I agree with it. It's from this video I watched. So don't shoot the messenger if you've got any issues with it. If you're going through life giving guys the cold shoulder and then pulling your hair out with online dating perhaps it's time to rethink whether you wouldn't prefer to connect with someone offline where at least you can immediately tell if there's chemistry or not " Yup, I do the complete opposite and I never get approached. Which is what I want ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() Hoodie? The 1 time hug a huddie pays off ![]() | |||
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"The thing is and I don't think I'm alone in thinking this but I am absolutely not offended if someone I'm not attracted to approaches me in the real world, I don't think they're a loser or any negative emotion at all. I think that they were brave for having the balls to ask for my number or ask to take me for a drink or whatever and it just feels flattering. So based on that I don't know why I'm so frightened of rejection. I'm sure guys would feel the same? Like if a woman you wasn't attracted to said in a respectful way that she thought you were good looking or she wanted to go for a drink with you, but there was no attraction there, would you not just feel flattered and leave it at that or would you think, God what a fucking idiot!" I’d never think someone was an idiot for approaching me and giving me a compliment. I’d be highly very flattered. I’m so bad at initiating conversation with a girl. I always instantly feel like I’ve turned into Quasimodo. ![]() | |||
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"Here is the problem.... Men and women don’t go out to meet new people outside of their social circles... They go out with 5 people and leave with the same 5 people.... In college we would always start the night out with 3-5 people and end the night with 10-15 , because we went out to meet new people and merged 1 or 2 new groups by the end of the night.. Now everyone just sits at their tables taking selfies and checking their phones....." Conversely, I can't remember the last night out that I didn't meet and end up amongst new people. Anecdotes are never data. | |||
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"Oh God, more bloody dating advice. How did we manage before the internet was invented ![]() ![]() Yup. I became very adept at putting out a 'Don't you bloody dare!' vibe in my youth....I would only ever become receptive to someone I liked, and to be honest that was usually the bold ones anyway! ![]() | |||
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"I've just had a mental image of me sitting in a room smiling gormlessly at men who all scurry away wondering who the strange woman that actually made eyecontact with people was... ![]() Your so wrong. They would love it. X | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. " I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next!" Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() | |||
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"I actually agree with this I think a smile and eye contact says a lot. We are all so distracted and self conscious these days that we do stick our heads in our phones. " ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I once queued up for ages in WHSmith because there was a girl I had the hots for at the counter. When I eventually got there I just asked for her number and she said no. I went bright red and everyone in the queue was staring at me. It was awful and I slinked away. Outside I decided my love for her was too profound to let it go at that. So I manned up and waited several hours for her to finish work before pouncing on her as she left the shop and asking her out again. At which she freaked and ran down the street haha ![]() I was 16. Of course it was a total botch. That's why I mentioned it. I was the definition of awkward and clutzy around girls as a kid. I think the problem is that guys try chatting up girls when they're still in the playground and all sorts of humiliation bounces back on them. Girls snickering. Guys ripping the piss. It's such a fucking high stakes game with the potential for massive humiliation when you're just a school kid. There's no room for experimentation. You either get lucky or you make a total fool of yourself and the girl runs away frightened of you. No wonder guys take all that into adult life. Even now I worry that a woman I approach will spit her drink out laughing at me, beckon to her friends to all laugh at me, and then I'll just have to slink off never again able to show my face in that place without people laughing at me. I know all of that is gone now. It's what nervous tribal little kids do to each other to try and win points. But, coming out of a 20 Yr long relationship, that was pretty much what my experience of asking girls out was when I last did it ![]() | |||
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"I'm petrified to approach the woman I'd like to meet. Petrified ![]() I am *totally petrified* too dude. But I'm also completely convinced that all the high quality guys are abandoning online and making their moves on high quality women offline... and they're crushing it because there's no competition. I'm convinced that soon online dating will solely be the mechanism for beta males to try and pick up the scraps. I'm not going to be one of those guys. I've enjoyed success in life by living big and bold and combating my demons. It's now time to do that with this ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I think you're overthinking things OP ... Massively overthinking tbh.. I mean, who goes on YouTube for dating advice! As for looking longingly at attractive women in coffee shops...well I'm surprised she didn't report you to the cafe owner.. Do you have any interests? Are you on any dating sites? Following women in the street is not the way to go about things..there are ways and means of meeting women but not the way you're doing it " What would you advise then Kinky? I'm just stirring conversation. I don't really drink all the koolaid. Just a little bit ![]() | |||
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"I mean, who goes on YouTube for dating advice! " I do. All the time ![]() | |||
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"I mean, who goes on YouTube for dating advice! I do. All the time ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I think you're overthinking things OP ... Massively overthinking tbh.. I mean, who goes on YouTube for dating advice! As for looking longingly at attractive women in coffee shops...well I'm surprised she didn't report you to the cafe owner.. Do you have any interests? Are you on any dating sites? Following women in the street is not the way to go about things..there are ways and means of meeting women but not the way you're doing it What would you advise then Kinky? I'm just stirring conversation. I don't really drink all the koolaid. Just a little bit ![]() Do you have hobbies or intetests? Are there groups connected to them you can join and meet people that way? Stirring conversation by telling women how to look for dates ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I think you're overthinking things OP ... Massively overthinking tbh.. I mean, who goes on YouTube for dating advice! As for looking longingly at attractive women in coffee shops...well I'm surprised she didn't report you to the cafe owner.. Do you have any interests? Are you on any dating sites? Following women in the street is not the way to go about things..there are ways and means of meeting women but not the way you're doing it What would you advise then Kinky? I'm just stirring conversation. I don't really drink all the koolaid. Just a little bit ![]() ![]() ![]() Why else do you think I'm leaving? ![]() | |||
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"I mean, who goes on YouTube for dating advice! I do. All the time ![]() ![]() Not just anything, I learned everything. Not only am I a master dater ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I mean, who goes on YouTube for dating advice! I do. All the time ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Wooop! A multi tasker! I'm surprised you haven't been snapped up yet ![]() | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() What!!?? His response was a shrug off, even though he smiled and said I think you are beautiful too, wtf! | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() Nothing wrong with that. I know a few beautiful women that I wouldn’t be interested in dating. It sounds like he was a genuinely nice polite bloke. | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() Come on Annie. Stop torturing yourself. You laid your cards on the table and he very politely declined. If he was in any way interested he would have used that opportunity to ask you for a drink or move it onto the next stage. He didn't. Instead he defused the situation and slinked off. That's definitely a shrug off in my book. That's exactly what I would do if a woman I didn't want things to go further with did that to me. I'd be polite and retreat. You're not going to get much clearer "no thanks" than that imo | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() To clarify Annie. If a woman I fancied, even if only for a fuck, did to me what you did to him you wouldn't have been able to get me off the front desk until I'd got her number or arranged a date. I'd have been glued to the damn thing ![]() | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() I’m not that modern. I could pay someone a compliment easily, if I had no ulterior motive. I’m a friendly cheerful person and make friends fairly easily. But the minute I’m into a guy or attracted.... Game over!... I become a clumsy communicator and I get a little shy, even weird.. ![]() | |||
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"I’m not that modern. I could pay someone a compliment easily, if I had no ulterior motive. I’m a friendly cheerful person and make friends fairly easily. But the minute I’m into a guy or attracted.... Game over!... I become a clumsy communicator and I get a little shy, even weird.. ![]() This is me ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() I disagree. I don't think it was a shrug off. He would of pulled his hand away and said Thanks awkwardly, if that, before shooting off. Sorry Dr Love I think you've got it wrong!!! ![]() | |||
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"Sorry Dr Love I think you've got it wrong!!! ![]() "Dr Love" Haha ![]() ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() ![]() | |||
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"But in real life I can’t filter my face so they wouldn’t be interested anyway ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Sorry Dr Love I think you've got it wrong!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() I know I though it was funny to! ![]() | |||
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"Here is the problem.... Men and women don’t go out to meet new people outside of their social circles... They go out with 5 people and leave with the same 5 people.... In college we would always start the night out with 3-5 people and end the night with 10-15 , because we went out to meet new people and merged 1 or 2 new groups by the end of the night.. Now everyone just sits at their tables taking selfies and checking their phones..... Conversely, I can't remember the last night out that I didn't meet and end up amongst new people. Anecdotes are never data." I can only tell you what I see..... I don’t know how old you’re..... But my experience in London and NYC are with the 18-30 year olds at clubs... If you’re older than me your experience might be much different.... | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() ![]() Shit, I didn’t get a bad vibe off it, like he was still holding my hand when I said it, he said aww behave, I said but you are, he said I think you are beautiful too, then I said right off you go then and he said see you soon. Ahh I don’t bloody know, I said I’d give it till after our works do, like really see if anything happens when we’re away from work on a night out. | |||
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" Just YouTube approach anxiety and you'll see even Annie's gym hunk probably suffers from it. I don't think he suffers from it, I just think he's not interested because he absolutely must know I'm into him and wanting to be approached. If he didn't before last Friday he does now. As he was leaving I called him back, held his hand over the counter and told him he was beautiful! What the fuck!! He was smiling and said aww behave, you are beautiful too, then left and not seen him since. Could be awkward city when I see him next! Well done Annie! Yippee ![]() ![]() Seriously Annie. Start a thread describing what you did and how he reacted and ask the men if that's a shrug off. It totally is in my book. 100% No doubt. I'd be very surprised if that wasn't also the concensus among the guys. It might help you get closure ![]() | |||
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"Sorry Dr Love I think you've got it wrong!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() I agree with Dr Love. ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I'm petrified to approach the woman I'd like to meet. Petrified ![]() ![]() ![]() If there's only 'scraps' of women left online I might finally be in with a chance. ![]() | |||
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"My body language hasn’t changed. Men simply don’t come up to women the way they used to. Many of my girlfriends have experienced the same thing. And it doesn’t matter how hot you look. Ps most men are looking down at their phones too. I think it’s a good theory though. Offline is the new online ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Please tell us more how we should be, and what we should wear, OP... People can come across creepy even when their approach isn’t a surprise, you know. | |||
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"My body language hasn’t changed. Men simply don’t come up to women the way they used to. Many of my girlfriends have experienced the same thing. And it doesn’t matter how hot you look. Ps most men are looking down at their phones too. I think it’s a good theory though. Offline is the new online ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You in particular Estella should act demure and silent and wear absolutely nothing ![]() | |||
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"My body language hasn’t changed. Men simply don’t come up to women the way they used to. Many of my girlfriends have experienced the same thing. And it doesn’t matter how hot you look. Ps most men are looking down at their phones too. I think it’s a good theory though. Offline is the new online ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No. You’d read it as a come on. | |||
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