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When you realise your preferences have worked against you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just been thinking and I'm going to post my thoughts to see if anyone else feels the same.

When I started on here and for many years after I had very rigid preferences, I called them requirements which were, must be over 6ft, must have a penis minimum 7" with decent girth, must have dark hair, big eyebrows and obscene facial attractiveness.

Just thinking how many guys I've discounted right from the off, without even a consideration of meeting them. Just seems a waste of men and quite a pointless thing when I think how much I fancy someone from the real world, that isn't 6 foot, whose penis I have no idea of the size, the obscene facial attractiveness is there but just makes me think I could have felt like this about 100's of guys that I rejected instantly all because of my stupid preferences.

Anyone else feel the same?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Nah, I vary my preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been thinking and I'm going to post my thoughts to see if anyone else feels the same.

When I started on here and for many years after I had very rigid preferences, I called them requirements which were, must be over 6ft, must have a penis minimum 7" with decent girth, must have dark hair, big eyebrows and obscene facial attractiveness.

Just thinking how many guys I've discounted right from the off, without even a consideration of meeting them. Just seems a waste of men and quite a pointless thing when I think how much I fancy someone from the real world, that isn't 6 foot, whose penis I have no idea of the size, the obscene facial attractiveness is there but just makes me think I could have felt like this about 100's of guys that I rejected instantly all because of my stupid preferences.

Anyone else feel the same? "

No as I don't have these types of restriction my best sex has been with people who aren't usually my type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm SoulfulKinky and I approve this message

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"Just been thinking and I'm going to post my thoughts to see if anyone else feels the same.

When I started on here and for many years after I had very rigid preferences, I called them requirements which were, must be over 6ft, must have a penis minimum 7" with decent girth, must have dark hair, big eyebrows and obscene facial attractiveness.

Just thinking how many guys I've discounted right from the off, without even a consideration of meeting them. Just seems a waste of men and quite a pointless thing when I think how much I fancy someone from the real world, that isn't 6 foot, whose penis I have no idea of the size, the obscene facial attractiveness is there but just makes me think I could have felt like this about 100's of guys that I rejected instantly all because of my stupid preferences.

Anyone else feel the same? "
You need to have a benchmark but some preferences can slip through the net. Perfection isn't obtainable.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I don’t seem to have a type. I have people that I’m attracted to and people that I’m not.

Personally is as important as looks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to keep my expectations low..

That way I am never disappointed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im getting more and more picky

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"Just been thinking and I'm going to post my thoughts to see if anyone else feels the same.

When I started on here and for many years after I had very rigid preferences, I called them requirements which were, must be over 6ft, must have a penis minimum 7" with decent girth, must have dark hair, big eyebrows and obscene facial attractiveness.

Just thinking how many guys I've discounted right from the off, without even a consideration of meeting them. Just seems a waste of men and quite a pointless thing when I think how much I fancy someone from the real world, that isn't 6 foot, whose penis I have no idea of the size, the obscene facial attractiveness is there but just makes me think I could have felt like this about 100's of guys that I rejected instantly all because of my stupid preferences.

Anyone else feel the same? "

My prefencence is just a fun confident TRUTHFUL open women with a cracking set of norks LOL

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

I have my preferences and in terms of conversations via mail etc., I've stuck to them... But sometimes I've met someone socially, for example at an event, who might not fit all of my preferences, but whom I've simply clicked with anyway, and end up having a marvellous time!! But that's meeting someone in person. On here you can only go with your gut and use your preferences to filter your mail down to a manageable amount, and hope that amongst those who do mail, there'll be someone interesting enough to make your Tuppence tingle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But even if in the past I've had a message off a guy with pictures attached and the guy has been very handsome with a nice willy, I've looked at his height on the profile and if it was under 6ft I'd say no thank you. Even if it was 5'10 or 5'11, it's stupid when I think about it, especially as I'm only 5'2 and a half and almost all men are taller than me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just ability to laugh and be a little crazy like me all I ask.

I do read profiles and anything I read they dislike I immediately move on.

I believe that someone's preference should be respected as they wouldn't be happy with anything less.

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By *uit and bootsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I’ve been on the wrong side of peoples requirements and restrictions far too many times on here, which has fuelled me being as open minded as possible about the type of people I’d like to meet.

However, since joining the forums I have upped my age limit, due to seeing some very nice people here. Just goes to show I wasn’t quite as open minded as I originally thought, but we live & learn.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I don't really have preferences looks wise as such, it's more personality that does it for me. The only ones I'm rigid about are that they are not cheating, live within a reasonable distance and are in my age range. I hope you find what you are looking for.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't really have preferences looks wise as such, it's more personality that does it for me. The only ones I'm rigid about are that they are not cheating, live within a reasonable distance and are in my age range. I hope you find what you are looking for. "

Thanks. It's stupid when I think about how I've been on here. Like I never even gave people a chance to even see what their personality was like, was just instant nope, not you, you're not what I want. They could've been all I wanted and more but never gave anyone a chance.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

When we started swinging eight years ago we had preferences relating to age , size etc...... and we were sure they were set in stone . We started going to clubs and realised how much fun we had been missing out on by having such rigid preferences and pretty soon we changed them .

As time passed by , we met and enjoyed the older , larger and way more fun folk out there , so I’m glad we did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My restrictions aren't so rigid, i. e. certain height, appearance, but are nevertheless based on instant attraction which could be denying myself lots of opportunities in the way you mention OP, so I realise it's worth trying to be more flexible and give more men a chance... It's difficult to change the habit of a lifetime though, and I know I have ridiculously high standards

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"But even if in the past I've had a message off a guy with pictures attached and the guy has been very handsome with a nice willy, I've looked at his height on the profile and if it was under 6ft I'd say no thank you. Even if it was 5'10 or 5'11, it's stupid when I think about it, especially as I'm only 5'2 and a half and almost all men are taller than me anyway. "

Would you really have been put off him though because of 1 or 2 inches in height, or do you think it was your mood at the time putting you off that person? Did you ever use your preferences to keep someone at bay simply because you weren't 'feeling it' that day? Did you let your despondency and disillusionment with the site close you off to people?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have two preferences that mean a lot of people won't meet us so in that sense quite a few are discounted.

I think if you have rethought your approach go with it but don't waste time thinking of what might have been.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mainly just have girls i like or dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't really have preferences looks wise as such, it's more personality that does it for me. The only ones I'm rigid about are that they are not cheating, live within a reasonable distance and are in my age range. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Thanks. It's stupid when I think about how I've been on here. Like I never even gave people a chance to even see what their personality was like, was just instant nope, not you, you're not what I want. They could've been all I wanted and more but never gave anyone a chance. "

But by your own admission you wouldn't date a guy off here, and I think I get why. So no wonder you weren't interested in giving any of them a chance outside of being sex toys. I don't have a problem with that. That's just the way you, and many other women, used this site. You're still not interested in dating guys off here. So why should that change?

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Aaah Annie -you can always lower your standards for me -you never know it could all turn out far worse than you imagine.

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By *rjimMan
over a year ago

nr bristol

Annie

Nothing wrong with having standards.

We see you have blocked couples and yet like roleplay.(we love various scenarios)

Maybe you might like to look at our veris and find it interesting to meet a nice couple for a social.

You never know, you might like us.. drJ & T

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare. "

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either. "
It's true though, some women are no longer commodities whether they believe it or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mainly just have girls i like or dont"

I’m with you on this one, if I like someone then I do and previous partners don’t really have any physical attributes in common.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either. It's true though, some women are no longer commodities whether they believe it or not."

Elaborate please

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Yes definitely OP, when it comes to height. My minimum is 5'10 but I get no end of messages from guys much shorter than that. Height is one of the first things I look at on a profile, I'm not prepared to over look that.

And not meeting in hotels, I could of trebled my 'meet count' if I wanted to but these guys are just passing or here for business so it's a big fat no from me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My preference is someone who's as chatty as me, no sorry I'm not budging

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Tbh op I think you’re probably pretty famous for having the most specific preferences on the site.

Having preferences and standards is a good thing on the whole - it helps us narrow down our offers/options and, hopefully, means that the people we eventually decide to meet will be of interest to us!

I must confess, though, that since joining the site I’ve had some cracking laughs and amazing sex with guys I wouldn’t normally go for!

On the other hand I’ve also met some guys who are so fucking hot that I have to force myself not to drool at them!

I’d advise you to go with your gut rather than simply a list of requirements - and I really hope you’ll surprise yourself and meet someone amazing! I’ve never been to a fab wedding!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But even if in the past I've had a message off a guy with pictures attached and the guy has been very handsome with a nice willy, I've looked at his height on the profile and if it was under 6ft I'd say no thank you. Even if it was 5'10 or 5'11, it's stupid when I think about it, especially as I'm only 5'2 and a half and almost all men are taller than me anyway.

Would you really have been put off him though because of 1 or 2 inches in height, or do you think it was your mood at the time putting you off that person? Did you ever use your preferences to keep someone at bay simply because you weren't 'feeling it' that day? Did you let your despondency and disillusionment with the site close you off to people? "

I agree with this. OP if you were really bothered you would have met them anyway. There will be something else that put you off.

I wouldn't think bad of the past. Those were your requirements then. For the future you could change them if you wanted to.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either. It's true though, some women are no longer commodities whether they believe it or not.

Elaborate please"
Well in a dating sense but not for NSA. When a woman gets to a certain age and has had children etc some men don't wanna take that on. They could find a younger lady who hasn't had children. Especially if these guys are so appealing it can be easily done.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either. It's true though, some women are no longer commodities whether they believe it or not.

Elaborate please Well in a dating sense but not for NSA. When a woman gets to a certain age and has had children etc some men don't wanna take that on. They could find a younger lady who hasn't had children. Especially if these guys are so appealing it can be easily done."

That's not being a commodity, that's a preference on the part of men who want younger women or one's unburdened by children. There are other men who won't give a flying fuck about these things or will even prefer them

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I have come to the conclusion quite late in life that rigidity is not good in most areas of my life..

I try and have an open mind and my preferences vary from minute to minute..

So pleased that you have opened the door to the majority..happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either. It's true though, some women are no longer commodities whether they believe it or not.

Elaborate please"

I have messages from guys that say they are boob men or love big boobs

I don't respond

I wouldn't want to meet someone purely because what they like hasn't been found

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Age prefference is the hardest when you are 42!!! People either want up to 40 or over 50!! Oh well 8 years in the gym for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I think that some ppl set themselves to fail when havibg rigid criteria but it is very good for to acknowledge it though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My preference is someone who's as chatty as me, no sorry I'm not budging "

You'd not get much pumping done lady....don't imagine you stay quiet for long!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life doesn't work on tick boxes and rigid formulas.

If two people can make each other happy then that's all that really matters...

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Annie, you did what felt right for you at the time - nothing wrong with that!

Now you're reconsidering, and becoming more open minded, who knows what might happen? It's pointless fretting about who you might have met but you can look forward to the future with potentially more choice

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"I have come to the conclusion quite late in life that rigidity is not good in most areas of my life.."

In the trouser dept. too?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either. "

You can dislike the concept of market value, but it is proven to exist and measurable. I think you're just pumping out loaded terms that don't mean very much in the real world. If you truly met your "ideal person" then I'd just say you had extremely low expectations of your ideal. You need to distinguish between things that are worth compromising and things that aren't. There's nothing clever or cool about being single because you are delusional and think the UPS guy is going to deliver your ideal partner next week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, because I don’t have a list of requirements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There may be a tendency to misread the op as about some kind of lowering of standards. I think what's actually hit Annie is how much more important a man's personality is in his sex appeal compared to certain physical attributes. So in fact I read the op as a raising or shifting of standards... a willingness to meet guys with more varied physiques. But in the quest to meet a very special gem of a person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all women or i should say most women are taller than me .

so i automatically start at a disadvantage and i reckon that rules out 90% of the women ever being interested in meeting me.

why meet someone your not going to be happy with. thats the bottom line isnt it.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Everyone has preferences and I guess for the women on here it’s a way of reducing the 10 billion messages down to something more manageable.

But it’s wise to open them up sometimes and see if your tastes have changed or if something else is important.

I was a bit of a speed demon, working my way through motorbikes that would do 150mph, 170mph then 180mph. I loved the speed.

Then I bought a Land Rover that would just about stagger it’s way to 80mph and it was a right laugh.

What we’re usually looking for is to have a good time and a connection, for me I thought speed was the only way but it turns out it’s just one of the ways. Look for the others

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Sure,this online communication visually doesn't help us. I'm sure if I'd actually met some of who I'd discarded online I probably wouldn't be single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some semi comprehensible thoughts:

My criteria are personality based so I’m pretty flexible about looks.

My friend on the other hand wants sex from fab to be as close to her fantasy sex as possible, so she has clear physical criteria that she won’t compromise.

We have to select somehow, we could never fuck everyone who expresses a mild interest, so even if you hadn’t been so strict in the application of your criteria, would you even have had time to have fun with them? And think about all the messaging involved!!

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By *uit and bootsMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Age prefference is the hardest when you are 42!!! People either want up to 40 or over 50!! Oh well 8 years in the gym for me"

Wait till you hit 46, I’ve never seen so many 45 upper age limits, lol

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It seems to me that some people are so prescriptive in what they want that it seems they use their preferences as a barrier to actually getting meets.

I see it all the time on the forums,people with a list or profile as long as your arm of what they don't want/like, and then the same people complaining they can't find anyone suitable... I just think really?

Some profiles pretty much state the shoe size and star signs they are willing to consider .

Maybe it's easier to hide behind an unrealistic list of "don't likes "than actually getting out there on real actual meets with real actual people.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I’ve never had preferences as such, you miss out on all sorts of lovely people so why limit yourself, good people come in all shapes and sizes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It seems to me that some people are so prescriptive in what they want that it seems they use their preferences as a barrier to actually getting meets.

I see it all the time on the forums,people with a list or profile as long as your arm of what they don't want/like, and then the same people complaining they can't find anyone suitable... I just think really?

Some profiles pretty much state the shoe size and star signs they are willing to consider .

Maybe it's easier to hide behind an unrealistic list of "don't likes "than actually getting out there on real actual meets with real actual people.

"

well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op stick to your standards, nothing wrong with having high standards and sticking to them.

But next time you are in a harvester though, have a bread roll and let that standard drop.

Hope all is good with you

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I don’t seem to have a type. I have people that I’m attracted to and people that I’m not.

Personally is as important as looks. "

This for me too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I'm SoulfulKinky and I approve this message

"

You wrote a a lovely message.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I don't really have preferences looks wise as such, it's more personality that does it for me. The only ones I'm rigid about are that they are not cheating, live within a reasonable distance and are in my age range. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Thanks. It's stupid when I think about how I've been on here. Like I never even gave people a chance to even see what their personality was like, was just instant nope, not you, you're not what I want. They could've been all I wanted and more but never gave anyone a chance. "

Perhaps talk to people a bit more and see if you gel with their personality, if you find your not attracted to them physically when they send a pic, nothing lost and you've gained some nice social interaction. I've done this and made some lovely friends that perhaps I wouldn't have done if I just went for looks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't really have preferences looks wise as such, it's more personality that does it for me. The only ones I'm rigid about are that they are not cheating, live within a reasonable distance and are in my age range. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Thanks. It's stupid when I think about how I've been on here. Like I never even gave people a chance to even see what their personality was like, was just instant nope, not you, you're not what I want. They could've been all I wanted and more but never gave anyone a chance.

Perhaps talk to people a bit more and see if you gel with their personality, if you find your not attracted to them physically when they send a pic, nothing lost and you've gained some nice social interaction. I've done this and made some lovely friends that perhaps I wouldn't have done if I just went for looks. "

It is nice to see you two getting on well. It makes my penis happy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t seem to have a type. I have people that I’m attracted to and people that I’m not.

Personally is as important as looks.

This for me too x"
il add a me to that too

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"There may be a tendency to misread the op as about some kind of lowering of standards. I think what's actually hit Annie is how much more important a man's personality is in his sex appeal compared to certain physical attributes. So in fact I read the op as a raising or shifting of standards... a willingness to meet guys with more varied physiques. But in the quest to meet a very special gem of a person "

Spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t seem to have a type. I have people that I’m attracted to and people that I’m not.

Personally is as important as looks.

This for me too x"

Agreed best sex I’ve had is with someone who wasn’t my ‘type’. Unfortunately, Fab isn’t the place where you can get to know the personality in a pic and we all have to have some way of working out who would fit our needs the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

No i have met all different types only now if i am not sure about someone i am much less likely to meet them, or if someone reminds me of someone i have met who i didnt like. Not bothered about how tall someone is, hair colour or anything.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either.

You can dislike the concept of market value, but it is proven to exist and measurable. I think you're just pumping out loaded terms that don't mean very much in the real world. If you truly met your "ideal person" then I'd just say you had extremely low expectations of your ideal. You need to distinguish between things that are worth compromising and things that aren't. There's nothing clever or cool about being single because you are delusional and think the UPS guy is going to deliver your ideal partner next week. "

That's incredibly sad that you don't think it's possible for anyone to meet their ideal partner without having low expectations.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I, of course, have a preference, but I will not, and never have, allowed it to get in the way of meeting new friends.

People may be the complete opposite of what I believe is my preference and yet there's still chemistry, an attraction.

Open up. Meet new people. Nobody says you have to have sex with them ... Just be open and friendly with everyone.

You may surprise yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I, of course, have a preference, but I will not, and never have, allowed it to get in the way of meeting new friends.

People may be the complete opposite of what I believe is my preference and yet there's still chemistry, an attraction.

Open up. Meet new people. Nobody says you have to have sex with them ... Just be open and friendly with everyone.

You may surprise yourself."

wonderfully refreshing.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I observe a lot of people whose 'preferences' work against them. Not just in swinging, but in dating generally. I know single people who are desperately lonely but delusional about their market value and make virtually no effort to meet new people. People who end up with totally incompatible partners because they had one major physical criteria and forgot the rest. However, in swinging you don't tend to think about people you haven't played with as it's just par for the course that a 4 way attraction is complex and rare.

I strongly dislike the idea that anyone has a market value or should compromise their values and preferences... And I would imagine that finding out that someone had 'settled' on meeting you because they couldn't find their ideal wouldn't sit too well with many either.

You can dislike the concept of market value, but it is proven to exist and measurable. I think you're just pumping out loaded terms that don't mean very much in the real world. If you truly met your "ideal person" then I'd just say you had extremely low expectations of your ideal. You need to distinguish between things that are worth compromising and things that aren't. There's nothing clever or cool about being single because you are delusional and think the UPS guy is going to deliver your ideal partner next week.

That's incredibly sad that you don't think it's possible for anyone to meet their ideal partner without having low expectations."

Sad for the people who engage the delusion, especially if you read the research about what happens to people with that mindset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really have any particular requirements, I tend to find different things attractive in different people.

I do sometimes wonder if I've missed out because I've not replied to a crap first message or because they didn't send a pic so I couldn't judge attraction.

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Very common OP

Lots of women claim to have ‘types’

The fact that they do and that they are users of this website indicates to me, both that their ‘type’ has always been exactly the wrong type of person for them and that they have a total lack of imagination.

Surely it’s better to keep an open mind. I think it’s a credit to anyone that does, and doesn’t discount the possibility that you might find something attractive and interesting in absolutely anybody.

Yes, yes, I know on this site it’s a woman’s prerogative and all men are just there to be objectified and all that. I’m talking about taking these principles and applying them to every aspect of your life..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't really have any particular requirements, I tend to find different things attractive in different people."

I'd mostly go along with this. The physical qualities I do tend to go for aren't going to reveal themselves via profile, so I never know for sure until a personal meet. Which is fair enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah. I’m still fussy as fook

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"Very common OP

Lots of women claim to have ‘types’

The fact that they do and that they are users of this website indicates to me, both that their ‘type’ has always been exactly the wrong type of person for them and that they have a total lack of imagination.

Surely it’s better to keep an open mind. I think it’s a credit to anyone that does, and doesn’t discount the possibility that you might find something attractive and interesting in absolutely anybody.

Yes, yes, I know on this site it’s a woman’s prerogative and all men are just there to be objectified and all that. I’m talking about taking these principles and applying them to every aspect of your life.."

I don't know that many claim to have a type. There may be certain physical features or personality traits that they gravitate towards, but unless you're trying to find a duplicate of someone, is that really having a type?

OP's preferences here are probably a little more specific than most, and may be an atypical example, but why does using this site identify someone as persistently looking for the wrong type?

Surely if you're finding people whom you enjoy, the site is fulfilling it's purpose. I've met people through Fab who have made me far happier than anyone I'd met through conventional means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've gone the other way

There was a time when I'd shagged a damp loaf

These days though, it'd take someone pretty special to make me wanna meet them

I can't remember the last message I just didn't delete without reading

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I've only got three and two of them are nothing to do with physicality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've gone the other way

There was a time when I'd shagged a damp loaf

These days though, it'd take someone pretty special to make me wanna meet them

I can't remember the last message I just didn't delete without reading"

wow man your ruthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't really have any particular requirements, I tend to find different things attractive in different people.

I do sometimes wonder if I've missed out because I've not replied to a crap first message or because they didn't send a pic so I couldn't judge attraction. "

That's why I always reply to first messages. "Hi" might be boring but if their messages are always getting deleted I can't blame them for making no effort.

The 2nd message usually helps me to decide if we're compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have one preference for women. No reply means block so I filter out those who show no intereste, the same way I'd be in real life, no response then move on. I want someone interested or willing to take the risk. Plenty who will show interest. After all who would spend alot of time chasing someone who isn't interested... In the real world very few, on fab millions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did Frankinstein apply ? your preferences make him the perfect guy for you !

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

This is exactly why I think rigid preferences are stupid and why I get so much grief on race and size threads.

I like curvy women, but I'm open to women of all sizes, I hate when I see entire races being written off, it's not possible to prejudge that many people all at once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did Frankinstein apply ? your preferences make him the perfect guy for you !"

god brutal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP your age preference is pretty rigid. 99-99! Good luck with that!

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By *otwife2019Woman
over a year ago

My preferences constantly change! I do instantly dismiss men who send a message with no photo anywhere, even if they do have a good grasp of grammar (so hard to come by here... But I guess it's the nature of the site)

And considering I'm not here to date but just to have fun, you'd think I'd have broader preferences than I do!

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

I've never actually given a thought to people I may have missed out on meeting. Some of my preferences are fluid, others quite rigid. Very happy with them the way they are and haven't had a problem meeting.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's predominantly a sex site and as such it appeals mostly to the visual to those who want just sex. For those who want more then the visual becomes far less important. Generally those looking regular repeat meets with have a higher reliance on communication and thus a deeper connection. Image and visual fades rapidly as does the visual sex....But then there are many any more to have.

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By *cedGemsWoman
over a year ago

South West Wales ;-)


"I don’t seem to have a type. I have people that I’m attracted to and people that I’m not.

Personally is as important as looks. "

Very true

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol


"Age prefference is the hardest when you are 42!!! People either want up to 40 or over 50!! Oh well 8 years in the gym for me"

Really??.

Most appear to want anything between 18 and 99!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I have no idea what obscene facial attractiveness means . Not a f@@@ img clue . Please name a few celebs or people in the media that you could describe this way .

Obscene — offensive to morality or decency; indecent; depraved: obscene language. causing uncontrolled sexual desire. abominable; disgusting; repulsive.is the meaning I understand

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We often of course learn really well from our mistakes, things that didn't perhaps go as well as we'd expected them to do. With friends and partners we tend to refine our expectations, when relationships fail, perhaps after a fairytale start etc.

If we've started here and lost some opportunities, it's better that we didn't meet people when we'd not have fully appreciated them, where our satisfaction levels could possibly be lower than if we'd met them at a different point.

I'm just grateful when I get to know and meet someone and it works really well today. What's happened before is the past, so just live for now and appreciate the life you have.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"I, of course, have a preference, but I will not, and never have, allowed it to get in the way of meeting new friends.

People may be the complete opposite of what I believe is my preference and yet there's still chemistry, an attraction.

Open up. Meet new people. Nobody says you have to have sex with them ... Just be open and friendly with everyone.

You may surprise yourself."

Ive done this "be open" attitude against what my real life preference would be. So I've met people outside my preference but I didn't find them attractive my fab standard has been a lot lower then real life.

Yep connections are great but if its not there physically it not there. I dont think you have missed out OP.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Please Annie tell me who or what meets this criteria. *****^^obscene facial attractiveness!!*****! Please don’t do what you usually do and stay away till the thread reaches 175 then say you missed giving a reply to a perfectly relevant question. I want to know what is seen as obscene attractiveness

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm all confused now. Don't know which way to turn lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Please Annie tell me who or what meets this criteria. *****^^obscene facial attractiveness!!*****! Please don’t do what you usually do and stay away till the thread reaches 175 then say you missed giving a reply to a perfectly relevant question. I want to know what is seen as obscene attractiveness

Thanks "

Dick on the forehead?

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest


"Very common OP

Lots of women claim to have ‘types’

The fact that they do and that they are users of this website indicates to me, both that their ‘type’ has always been exactly the wrong type of person for them and that they have a total lack of imagination.

Surely it’s better to keep an open mind. I think it’s a credit to anyone that does, and doesn’t discount the possibility that you might find something attractive and interesting in absolutely anybody.

Yes, yes, I know on this site it’s a woman’s prerogative and all men are just there to be objectified and all that. I’m talking about taking these principles and applying them to every aspect of your life..

I don't know that many claim to have a type. There may be certain physical features or personality traits that they gravitate towards, but unless you're trying to find a duplicate of someone, is that really having a type?

OP's preferences here are probably a little more specific than most, and may be an atypical example, but why does using this site identify someone as persistently looking for the wrong type?

Surely if you're finding people whom you enjoy, the site is fulfilling it's purpose. I've met people through Fab who have made me far happier than anyone I'd met through conventional means "

Don’t know many that have a ‘type’?

In that case why do they all message me with ‘sorry, you’re just not my type’!!

I disagree with your final paragraph too. If you’ve been having fun with lots of your ‘type’ of people, if they really are your ‘type’ eventually one of them will be enough for you. It would seem more reasonable that the very best type of person for you is not the one you think is the arche’type’

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"Please Annie tell me who or what meets this criteria. *****^^obscene facial attractiveness!!*****! Please don’t do what you usually do and stay away till the thread reaches 175 then say you missed giving a reply to a perfectly relevant question. I want to know what is seen as obscene attractiveness

Thanks

Dick on the forehead?"

Oh my ! perfect comment laugh out loud thank you !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Please Annie tell me who or what meets this criteria. *****^^obscene facial attractiveness!!*****! Please don’t do what you usually do and stay away till the thread reaches 175 then say you missed giving a reply to a perfectly relevant question. I want to know what is seen as obscene attractiveness

Thanks "

Stop being so needy, sometimes comments are not worth a response.

It’s pointless me naming celebrities who I think meet the extremely handsome requirements that I’m attracted to because people will just say they aren’t that attractive. It’s all subjective.

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