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Inspired by Mrs N's floral curtain shorts.
I went to the cupboard and there's no biscuits left. 
My 'shit life' stories are crap. Can you do any better?!   | |||
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"I'm not having a roast today "I'm having one, I'll set you a place | |||
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"I’ve just eaten a coffee flavoured Revel, it’s the end of days "Bleurghhh, Revels are the Russian roulette of the chocolate world  | |||
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"I'm not having a roast today
I'm having one, I'll set you a place "Thanks very much, don't forget a Yorkshire pudding!! | |||
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"I have Cadbury chocolate melt cookies  "I want but don't have Cadbury chocolate melt cookies !! | |||
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"Competitive 'my life is a trillion times worse than yours'.
Inspired by Mrs N's floral curtain shorts.
I went to the cupboard and there's no biscuits left.
My 'shit life' stories are crap. Can you do any better?! "I had lots of the sex last night. My life is dreadfull.... | |||
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"I found the missing lego piece when i stood on it getting out the bath.... lol...x" Ooh that's a rough one. | |||
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"Just passed my friend sat in the passenger seat of my fb's car. Neither of them mentioned anything to me. Because we are just fucking it doesn't feel like I have the right to feel how I do, but I do feel mugged off. They should have said something. They both saw me. Just sat here not knowing what I am entitled to feel really. " To add I have jumped to conclusions but that's only because I know them both too well. | |||
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"Just passed my friend sat in the passenger seat of my fb's car. Neither of them mentioned anything to me. Because we are just fucking it doesn't feel like I have the right to feel how I do, but I do feel mugged off. They should have said something. They both saw me. Just sat here not knowing what I am entitled to feel really. " That's actually really shit. x
Hope they say something about it. | |||
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"Just passed my friend sat in the passenger seat of my fb's car. Neither of them mentioned anything to me. Because we are just fucking it doesn't feel like I have the right to feel how I do, but I do feel mugged off. They should have said something. They both saw me. Just sat here not knowing what I am entitled to feel really. " My eyes are sore after not getting much sleep last night. Boohoo  | |||
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"Just been to a children’s party and bought the birthday girl a present and card....didn’t realise the party was for twin girls... "I just proper howled  | |||
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"I’m working outside in the rain and my boots have got a hole in. . . . Sent from ZX Spectrum " Mmmm zx spectrum....what games lol | |||
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"Woe really is me, I'm in agony. The pain. Oh dear lord. Doubled over trying not to heave, tears rolling down my face, gasping to breathe. Finally over the initial shock. Standing up & realising there's blood seeping through my vest! I really do not advise twanging yourself on the nipple, with a resistance band especially if you have piercings. That's today's Twattish behaviour over! " *wincing* | |||
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"I have Cadbury chocolate melt cookies
I want but don't have Cadbury chocolate melt cookies !! "love to share x | |||
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"I'm not having a roast today
I'm having one, I'll set you a place
Thanks very much, don't forget a Yorkshire pudding!! "As a Yorkshire girl, that will never happen! | |||
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"I'm not having a roast today
I'm having one, I'll set you a place
Thanks very much, don't forget a Yorkshire pudding!!
As a Yorkshire girl, that will never happen! "Homemade? Room for another? | |||
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"Woe really is me, I'm in agony. The pain. Oh dear lord. Doubled over trying not to heave, tears rolling down my face, gasping to breathe. Finally over the initial shock. Standing up & realising there's blood seeping through my vest! I really do not advise twanging yourself on the nipple, with a resistance band especially if you have piercings. That's today's Twattish behaviour over! " | |||
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"Woe really is me, I'm in agony. The pain. Oh dear lord. Doubled over trying not to heave, tears rolling down my face, gasping to breathe. Finally over the initial shock. Standing up & realising there's blood seeping through my vest! I really do not advise twanging yourself on the nipple, with a resistance band especially if you have piercings. That's today's Twattish behaviour over! "  OUCH!!!
I would have thought by now you would have bought or some sort of protective clothing for your nipples!
You could go modern with some sort of carbon fiver/Kevlar weaved sports bra, you could go old school with a chain mail bikini top (padded on the inside obviously) or you could go ultra hitech with some sort of impact resistant gel pasties that stick over your nipples.
In fact I think there may be a market out there for nipple protective sports clothing!! | |||
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"Woe really is me, I'm in agony. The pain. Oh dear lord. Doubled over trying not to heave, tears rolling down my face, gasping to breathe. Finally over the initial shock. Standing up & realising there's blood seeping through my vest! I really do not advise twanging yourself on the nipple, with a resistance band especially if you have piercings. That's today's Twattish behaviour over! OUCH!!!
I would have thought by now you would have bought or some sort of protective clothing for your nipples!
You could go modern with some sort of carbon fiver/Kevlar weaved sports bra, you could go old school with a chain mail bikini top (padded on the inside obviously) or you could go ultra hitech with some sort of impact resistant gel pasties that stick over your nipples.
In fact I think there may be a market out there for nipple protective sports clothing!! "Well... Tbh I normally do put a plaster over them when I do cardio, I've learnt chaffing isn't good. But this was just me tidying up equipment... Didn't expect the recoil lol! As for the chain mail bra... Ask nicely & I might show you  | |||
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"Just been to a children’s party and bought the birthday girl a present and card....didn’t realise the party was for twin girls...
I just proper howled "Not as much as the one that DIDN'T get the present .. | |||
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"I found out my ex has started seeing someone today. While I'm happy for him it's the first time it's bothered me being single. "do something about it then. moping around wont change anything. look at you!everything is in your favour  | |||
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"Just been to a children’s party and bought the birthday girl a present and card....didn’t realise the party was for twin girls...
I just proper howled
Not as much as the one that DIDN'T get the present
.. "When my eldest was younger, he was invited to a party. 2 brothers, almost identical, same class in school. I sent 2 cards, 2 presents. Nothing was said. Imagine my amusement when he brought another party invite home... Dated exactly 9mths after the last one he sent to. Not twins! | |||
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"I found out my ex has started seeing someone today. While I'm happy for him it's the first time it's bothered me being single. "Never ever will I understand why anybody is bothered about what their ex is doing. | |||
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"I found out my ex has started seeing someone today. While I'm happy for him it's the first time it's bothered me being single.
do something about it then. moping around wont change anything.
look at you!everything is in your favour "This is a woe is me thread! | |||
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"I found out my ex has started seeing someone today. While I'm happy for him it's the first time it's bothered me being single.
Never ever will I understand why anybody is bothered about what their ex is doing. "Hhmmm....that wasn't really my point. I'm happy for him, there are no bad feelings between us. It just made me realise I'm a bit lonely. | |||
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"Oh. And I blew up my kettle and my kid is in bed so I can't get a new one til tomorrow. " I've run out of bread... and I'm a bit lonely today too xxxx | |||
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"And what about the orange dress my mum made me with bell sleeves that she edged with gold lampshade trim "But did you have knickers made from flowery cotton material edges with rick rack? | |||
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"Oh. And I blew up my kettle and my kid is in bed so I can't get a new one til tomorrow. " There’s always a saucepan, not quite the same but ok for emergencies | |||
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"And what about the orange dress my mum made me with bell sleeves that she edged with gold lampshade trim
But did you have knickers made from flowery cotton material edges with rick rack?"No lol. Did you? Please tell me you did. My mum went through a Pippa Dee stage too. | |||
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"I recommend a wee blub. Reached mini meltdown level earlier, had a moan and a cry and got all the woe out. Ready to push on with everything again now. "Hope you feel better today. | |||
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"And what about the orange dress my mum made me with bell sleeves that she edged with gold lampshade trim "That sounds gorgeous. You win. | |||
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"Competitive 'my life is a trillion times worse than yours'.
Inspired by Mrs N's floral curtain shorts.
I went to the cupboard and there's no biscuits left.
My 'shit life' stories are crap. Can you do any better?! "My back really hurts today. I thought I was due to the damp in the air, but it's a lovely day. I'm guessing it was from all of the sex I had Saturday night. Oh woe is me........ | |||
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"Oh. And I blew up my kettle and my kid is in bed so I can't get a new one til tomorrow. " Kid or kettle | |||
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"Woe really is me, I'm in agony. The pain. Oh dear lord. Doubled over trying not to heave, tears rolling down my face, gasping to breathe. Finally over the initial shock. Standing up & realising there's blood seeping through my vest! I really do not advise twanging yourself on the nipple, with a resistance band especially if you have piercings. That's today's Twattish behaviour over! *wincing* "I even crossed my legs reading this... How bizarre | |||
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"And what about the orange dress my mum made me with bell sleeves that she edged with gold lampshade trim
But did you have knickers made from flowery cotton material edges with rick rack?
No lol. Did you? Please tell me you did.
My mum went through a Pippa Dee stage too. "Yep, same material our dresses were made of. They were baggy and uncomfortable but not as bad as the huge PE knickers we were made to wear. | |||
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"I ate a hotdog yesterday at a fireworks display that has played havoc with my guts.. I am now sitting on the bog, realising the bottom has fallen out of my world; i didn't check the loo roll, its an empty roll... Quite ironic really as the world has just fallen out of my bottom! "I have a roll next to me on my work table I use for all manner of things. Today it's for catching the juice from my orange as I bite into it. | |||
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"I ate a hotdog yesterday at a fireworks display that has played havoc with my guts.. I am now sitting on the bog, realising the bottom has fallen out of my world; i didn't check the loo roll, its an empty roll... Quite ironic really as the world has just fallen out of my bottom!
I have a roll next to me on my work table I use for all manner of things. Today it's for catching the juice from my orange as I bite into it."If you wouldn't mind sticking it on a boat down the Thames, that'd be much appreciated.. | |||
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"Where the fuck do we start?..... "at ghe begining let it all out | |||
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"I’ve woken up on a Monday, it’s my day off, I have no plans and it’s miserable outside. That’s about as bad as it gets. I guess I’ll make another cup of tea. " I still have no fucking kettle | |||
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"I’ve woken up on a Monday, it’s my day off, I have no plans and it’s miserable outside. That’s about as bad as it gets. I guess I’ll make another cup of tea. I still have no fucking kettle "Has your mom arrived yet?! | |||
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that’s so upsetting. | |||
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"I ate a hotdog yesterday at a fireworks display that has played havoc with my guts.. I am now sitting on the bog, realising the bottom has fallen out of my world; i didn't check the loo roll, its an empty roll... Quite ironic really as the world has just fallen out of my bottom!
I have a roll next to me on my work table I use for all manner of things. Today it's for catching the juice from my orange as I bite into it.
If you wouldn't mind sticking it on a boat down the Thames, that'd be much appreciated.. "Sit tight, it won't be long | |||
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"I ate a hotdog yesterday at a fireworks display that has played havoc with my guts.. I am now sitting on the bog, realising the bottom has fallen out of my world; i didn't check the loo roll, its an empty roll... Quite ironic really as the world has just fallen out of my bottom!
I have a roll next to me on my work table I use for all manner of things. Today it's for catching the juice from my orange as I bite into it.
If you wouldn't mind sticking it on a boat down the Thames, that'd be much appreciated..
Sit tight, it won't be long "I wonder if he's still there.... | |||
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"I ate the last malteaser in the bag and didn’t realise it was the last! that’s so upsetting. "That's an amateur mistake. Always have another bag ready.  | |||
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"I was in a&e last night because my chest/breathing wasn’t right and I had the worst ear ache imaginable. I got home at 4:30am, I have an ear infection and pleurisy apparently (prone to crap like this thanks asthma). On top of having an emergency root canal last Tuesday I feel ropey as fuck. I had 2 hours sleep and dragged my ass to work today. I feel like hell. " Blimey!!
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"I ate the last malteaser in the bag and didn’t realise it was the last! that’s so upsetting.
That's an amateur mistake. Always have another bag ready."You’re quite right! I will live and learn | |||
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