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‘It’s my private life’

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy sharing anything, but only having met and got along socially. Otherwise it largely stays need to know, although quite a lot can emerge in the course of messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it depends how much you want to know. There’s an appropriate level of knowledge I guess, people I meet tend to know my real (first) name, my relationship status, what sort of thing I do at work etc, but I’m not telling them my exact address, or my full name so they can add me or check out all sorts of intimate or family details on Facebook or whatever.

So it’s about striking the right balance I think.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I enjoy getting to know people almost as much as having sex with them. I like the friendship and the connection as well as the flirting and banter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id say im pretty open when i get to know someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fairly open and honest with most things but do draw the line at giving information that can be used for identity theft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

depends. one off no

regular then they are somehow in my life and have a right to know some things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"
I'm quite open this is life for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Really interesting responses. I like to feel people are fairly straightforward and transparent. It makes me feel unsafe when they are not. I take the points about identity theft and addresses though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

Not necessarily OP. For me, yes it is the same as you describe. But you cannot assume that everyone wants to get to know you on here. Many, if not the majority of profiles that I see are not asking for a get aquainted first meet before getting physical.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

Hmmm

Dan kinda sums it up in his post, Im happy to share a certain amount of personal info but am conscious that bunny boilers are real

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the same as you OP. If someone is wary or dodges questions then it puts me off. I don't want to know intimate details and I understand the need to keep the finer details private but I need to feel like I actually know the person I'm going to share my bed with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Dan usually has wise things to say..

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I got burnt early on my divulging something personal to someone with loose lips on here.It was relatively minor but made me realize how personal info can be used by someone with an agenda. Won't do that again.

Now it's on a strictly need to know basis.

A random fb doesn't need to know about my personal life.And I don't need to know where they work, holiday or their pets names.

Why would they?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The people I have casual sex with have no right to know the ins and outs of my private life.

We may divulge details occasionally, during a concersation, but if a new man wanted to know everything about me from the go I would not always be willing to divulge.

He's not part of my family or friends and it's not his business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do like to feel that I've got to known a little bit about the person before I meet them (unless in a club) but I don't need to know too much about their private lives. I would never quiz someone on their job, or children, or where they live etc. Those details are irrelevant to me.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"I guess it depends how much you want to know. There’s an appropriate level of knowledge I guess, people I meet tend to know my real (first) name, my relationship status, what sort of thing I do at work etc, but I’m not telling them my exact address, or my full name so they can add me or check out all sorts of intimate or family details on Facebook or whatever.

So it’s about striking the right balance I think. "

This

Obviously there are people I've known a loooong time and some friends have become part of my life away from Fab, but in general where someone relatively new is concerned I keep some things back

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By *andWCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Luton


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

We are generally pretty open about most things but why do you want to know about their families? That's a bit odd to us.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"
It's on a need to know basis which a lot on here don't need to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can someone blow my privates ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the early stages of dating/meeting someone I would reveal very little. It should be light hearted and fun for a good while. What you do work wise and general interests but until you get more serious for me it should be keep personal things to yourself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a good point tiger.

I will say that once someone has got in bed with me they me pretty well and I do them.

Finding out things I enjoy and I never discuss who i meet or what they tell me.

I'm open about things much got much to hide

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

That’s their ‘public life’ surely, as you say, you are a part of their private life.

Everyone is happy to give out a different amount which I respect, but don’t see the harm in at least getting/giving the basics. Should have hopefully filtered out the weirdos before getting as far as a social!

TB

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I like to know a bit about people I'm meeting from here. Club wise not really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With those I chat to regularly and have met in the past, I'm quite open with, even to meeting family members, although only as friends. It's about building up trust with someone, before disclosing too much. With someone who I may only meet once or not at all, very little!

As for finding me on FB, good luck!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't expect to know the full ins and outs of someone's life beyond the important factors like relationship status and similar that may have a bearing on whether I wanted to meet them or not, I do like to get to know people a little though before I get naked with them but that Doesn't necessarily have to equate to personal details.

As for me, I think it's a by degrees thing as to what I reveal - when I first get chatting, it's very high level (experiences of the lifestyle, clubs visited etc), face pics usually get sent fairly early on too - from there once I'm comfortable my real name will be shared etc etc - if we're meeting I share my mobile number and surname (partly so I can be contacted in the event of last minute changes and partly as a reassurance I am genuine and not an axe wielding murderer!! - I also let them know I'd be happy for that to be passed onto a discreet third party for security if they want).

Both through chatting here and once we've met various other snippets of information might come out in conversation such as birthdays, hometown etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty open with those I meet. As I meet them regularly, they do tend to cross over into my vanilla life and I theirs, becoming good friends. Some I no longer pay with, but the friendship has continued to flourish. I prefer to meet those who are at ease with the lifestyle and the social aspect. Not just the play side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm pretty open with those I meet. As I meet them regularly, they do tend to cross over into my vanilla life and I theirs, becoming good friends. Some I no longer pay with, but the friendship has continued to flourish. I prefer to meet those who are at ease with the lifestyle and the social aspect. Not just the play side "

Play*

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

If someone has pased all the filters to actually be allowed to insert body parts in me, yes... they will probably know my real name, where I work, maybe even my kids’ ages!

To me it’s not just sex. It’s a connection.

Having said that, I don’t pry, but I am usually given the same information...if not I don’t really care. I used to in the past but not now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, there are factors other than just being a single mum that dictate who and when i meet, so i often have to share more than the usual superficialities whilst also taking care not to overshare anything..its often a fine line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What kind of things do you like to know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We kind of like to get to know people as much as possible before we meet (I say "We" but it's usually Mrs R) and enjoy the social side of things a lot, but I suppose you can never really be sure how much people tell you is the truth, or if they are basically just telling you what they think you want to hear to get into Mrs R's pants!

If somebody seemed particularly cagey though we probably wouldn't meet anyway

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

For us, it depends.

For a random club or party encounter, they dont need to know much.

If we hit it off and start bumping into them more regularly, then they get to know more.

If we end up close enough as friends that we go to their house for Sunday lunch, or get invited to their wedding, then they know everything.

Or to put it another way, if you wernt swinging, but just pulled on a night out, would you want that person to know everything about you?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Why would you want to know about my family?

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

All I divulge is my name, that i'm a single parent and that i have a life away from Fab, and anything that maybe relevant to meeting. Happy to have general conversation with people but they dont need to know anything more than that.

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"
I respect your choices but they're not mine. I like to keep my life in discrete compartments. As a queer man this may reflect my upbringing and experiences. As part of that I make no false promises - if we fuck I wish you well but that's all it means. This may sound cold but on the other hand I'll never fake an interest in your life or our about living you just to get a shag.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

Best you don't go dogging then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fine balance isn’t it.

For some they view it as ‘if it’s only sex, why would you want to know intimate non-sexual details?’

Whereas others often would like to think ‘it’s a bit unusual that they won’t share some details’.

For me I just think I’d be open within reason, in accordance of how well I know / got to know someone. Also, meeting someone married in a club would be an unknown perhaps, but meeting a married person in public would be more risky, for instance.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?

Best you don't go dogging then. "
yeah can get your address from your registration plate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Pretty much an open book. But like vanilla friends, they only need to know the basics until we've become closer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell them as much as I want them to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably share too much and also ask too many questions, but I don't mean it. I'm just a gab and if the chat isn't flowing for a while I'll go off meeting

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By *andWCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Luton


"Why would you want to know about my family? "

This exactly ... as we said earlier, this is a bit odd.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We wouldn’t tell a stranger on the train too much information about ourselves if we got chatting on the way home, however if we started encountering the same person on the way home on a regular basis then a bond would gradually build and more information would slowly be divulged. Much the same on here, some we’ve met, some we haven’t yet but chatted to on the forums or by messaging, some have seen our ugly cake faces, some special ones have even seen a photo of our chocolate stealing dog!

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

I dont want to know about their life, i just try and be careful about who i meet going by my past experiences, the less i know about them the more i prefer it, all they need to know about me is how long i have been on here and anything that involves the meet.

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By *tarbuck007Man
over a year ago

up2no good

Nigerian man wanted to know my whole story the other day in order to get the my milion£ lottery money.

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By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon

I don't like to share lots if details early on. While I can appreciate wanting to know someone's relationship status I'm not sure why anyone initially needs to know about family, and I certainly wasn't going to tell a guy who once asked, before we'd even talked about meeting, who I work for. I prefer to keep things general.

I do have Fab friends I've known for ages though who know a fair bit about me now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a few that have become close, ive allowed them to meet my family and visit our house. Sadly theres a few that I've made drastic mistakes trusting. I try to be extra careful now but those I've played with and become play partners I do like to chat and learn bits about them. Im happy sharing bits about my life to x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are a few that have become close, ive allowed them to meet my family and visit our house. Sadly theres a few that I've made drastic mistakes trusting. I try to be extra careful now but those I've played with and become play partners I do like to chat and learn bits about them. Im happy sharing bits about my life to x"

You roll the dice sometimes it rolls uneven.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Nothing and no they are not part of our private life. This is a fantasy, if we know everything about someone then it becomes real life then and puts me off playing.

We like the least information passed between each other. We can chat about anything and everything inbetween the play that doesn't have to include any personal information

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't reveal anything. They know I'm female and that's all they need to know.

I'll answer their questions but my answers won't be true.

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By *ungscotsman26Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I wouldn't ever tell someone I don't know very well where I work or my full name etc. Sounds bad but what if they are crazy haha!

Yes you have to be able to say some things to hold a conversation and get a connection but other than that it's strictly need to know.

Seen plenty people on here say that people have told their friends, family, work they are on here. Which is unacceptable. Therefore safety first

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Welcome to the Facebbok generation, where you're expected to divulge everything from your shoe size to your dinner and how much Bob at number 11 just paid for his new car, online and within the first 5 minutes of speaking to anybody.

It never used to be like this, verification was a dirty word and guess what...we still used to meet up, shag each other silly (and a lot more than seems to happen now) and all the personal stuff kind of fell in to place with the right people as you went along.

Nobody expected anything other than turning up as arranged and having freshly cleaned teeth and fun bits and everyone was a lot more chilled out too

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By *veragecouple321Couple
over a year ago

Leamington Spa

We are very open with the people we meet, it’s easier to be open and honest (names, occupation, kids etc), but we don’t ever pry into our meets “life” and don’t really care if they are open or not that’s there prerogative.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Depends what people ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't share any more than I have to. People I meet never know my surname or address. It's irrelevant. A select few will know more but those I only meet once I don't share much with at all.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

[Removed by poster at 01/11/18 17:57:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't share any more than I have to. People I meet never know my surname or address. It's irrelevant. A select few will know more but those I only meet once I don't share much with at all. "

And no... they aren't part of my private life. My fab persona and life is completely separate for the sake of my family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't share any more than I have to. People I meet never know my surname or address. It's irrelevant. A select few will know more but those I only meet once I don't share much with at all. I thought your surname was Fandango "

Sssshhhh!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

[Removed by poster at 01/11/18 17:58:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection"

The only person I have a "connection" with is my wife. Everything else is No strings attached sex. If you like what you see then no further information is needed and wanting to know about family and more is just weird unless you're looking for a longer term relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection

The only person I have a "connection" with is my wife. Everything else is No strings attached sex. If you like what you see then no further information is needed and wanting to know about family and more is just weird unless you're looking for a longer term relationship.

"

Or friendship. Not everyone is looking for a fuck and go. If you find it weird, that's your call. But others have different opinions on what they need, so I personally dont find it weird at all. Just different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I started seeing someone off here on a regular basis and we socialised then no doubt I would gradually share snip bits about myself but if it was a one off or only a few times then no I would not share personal stuff about myself or my family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I started seeing someone off here on a regular basis and we socialised then no doubt I would gradually share snip bits about myself but if it was a one off or only a few times then no I would not share personal stuff about myself or my family "

id say that was summed up perfectly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection

The only person I have a "connection" with is my wife. Everything else is No strings attached sex. If you like what you see then no further information is needed and wanting to know about family and more is just weird unless you're looking for a longer term relationship.

"
if no conection i may as well cut a hole in a fence abd fuck that

Give my sparks anyday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though.

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex


"I like to know a bit about people I'm meeting from here. Club wise not really.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection

The only person I have a "connection" with is my wife. Everything else is No strings attached sex. If you like what you see then no further information is needed and wanting to know about family and more is just weird unless you're looking for a longer term relationship.

if no conection i may as well cut a hole in a fence abd fuck that

Give my sparks anyday"

You mean a glory hole?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though."

that is bloody disgusting.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst


"I won't reveal anything. They know I'm female and that's all they need to know.

I'll answer their questions but my answers won't be true. "

Yes that or either dont answer their questions, nothing says you have too.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though."

Dear God... Someone actually found that appropriate??? I'm gobsmacked

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

No I don't, particularly as they tend to see people on here as completely disposable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though.

Dear God... Someone actually found that appropriate??? I'm gobsmacked"

More than one person has.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though.

that is bloody disgusting."

It instantly gets my back up. I've had men ask if we have sex with the same men or 3somes. They may be over 30 but they are still my children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an open book. I have nothing to hide and would answer any question honestly. I love getting to know new people so id be put off if someone avoided questions of this sort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though.

that is bloody disgusting.

It instantly gets my back up. I've had men ask if we have sex with the same men or 3somes. They may be over 30 but they are still my children."

Jesus!

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though.

that is bloody disgusting.

It instantly gets my back up. I've had men ask if we have sex with the same men or 3somes. They may be over 30 but they are still my children."
These guys have been watching to much porn. Even that kind of porn is weird though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only play with people I would happily become friends with so I give them the same information as I would give to potential friends, as the friendship grows so does the level of trust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though.

that is bloody disgusting.

It instantly gets my back up. I've had men ask if we have sex with the same men or 3somes. They may be over 30 but they are still my children."

It's sad that I'm not in the least bit shocked that some men say things like that.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I only play with people I would happily become friends with so I give them the same information as I would give to potential friends, as the friendship grows so does the level of trust"

This.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

No I’m not going to share much. I don’t really see a need. I’m a private person on and off Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only play with people I would happily become friends with so I give them the same information as I would give to potential friends, as the friendship grows so does the level of trust"

this is correct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

No I don't consider them to be any part of my life at all. We are just sex toys to each other.

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By *ortobello SionnachWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"I only play with people I would happily become friends with so I give them the same information as I would give to potential friends, as the friendship grows so does the level of trust"

I would go along with this too I often wonder how free others are with personal information and how trusting they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection

The only person I have a "connection" with is my wife. Everything else is No strings attached sex. If you like what you see then no further information is needed and wanting to know about family and more is just weird unless you're looking for a longer term relationship.

if no conection i may as well cut a hole in a fence abd fuck that

Give my sparks anyday"

Lots of people enjoy stranger sex, glory holes, gang bangs etc where no information is passed at all, it's the thrill of the unknown. No sparks, no connection just gratification. Still good sex regardless.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

When i was very young some of the most fun i had was with strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection

The only person I have a "connection" with is my wife. Everything else is No strings attached sex. If you like what you see then no further information is needed and wanting to know about family and more is just weird unless you're looking for a longer term relationship.

Or friendship. Not everyone is looking for a fuck and go. If you find it weird, that's your call. But others have different opinions on what they need, so I personally dont find it weird at all. Just different "

Agreed, there are many on here seeking friendship and possibly their next partner, fb or spouse! I guess I am seeing the question from OP from a couples point of view. Apologies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A problem I had previously was the sexual comments about my girls when I told men I had two grown up daughter's.

It did help in filtering them out early on though."

Jesus! That’s hideous. Some people have no boundaries AND no filter..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I consider anyone getting hold of my body to be a part of my life, male or female... Dont do the sex n go stuff.. Sex is only real good if theres a connection

The only person I have a "connection" with is my wife. Everything else is No strings attached sex. If you like what you see then no further information is needed and wanting to know about family and more is just weird unless you're looking for a longer term relationship.

Or friendship. Not everyone is looking for a fuck and go. If you find it weird, that's your call. But others have different opinions on what they need, so I personally dont find it weird at all. Just different

Agreed, there are many on here seeking friendship and possibly their next partner, fb or spouse! I guess I am seeing the question from OP from a couples point of view. Apologies. "

This actually summarises much of the debate for me. Plus safety. If I know some basics about a person I know they can be traced should something go wrong. If someone won’t give me basic info I won’t meet them 1 on 1. It’s not just about being social or nosiness, however you choose to interpret my preferences.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But thank you everyone for frank responses. It’s been interesting to see the range of views and differing thinking behind those views.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But thank you everyone for frank responses. It’s been interesting to see the range of views and differing thinking behind those views."

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

From my perspective I want to know I'm meeting someone who is genuinely single since I'm seeking an ongoing friendship /relationship.

There are so many men on here and on conventional dating sites who lie and cheat to get what they want. I've learned that the hard way more than once.

When you deal with people like that continually its very hurtful and can be damaging to your own mental health and self esteem, so knowing some basic details about a person you are going to be intimate with is paramount and in my opinion quite reasonable.

To hide behind such a phrase rings alarm bells.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think guys in particular are scared of opening up too much in case it ruins their chance of a meet

Say the wrong thing or say it in the wrong context and you face a life time in solitary on Cell Block H

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

A person you're fucking needs to know very little. They aint a huge part of your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seeing some of these responses makes me truly realise that I am lucky to be meeting who I'm meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A person you're fucking needs to know very little. They aint a huge part of your life "
this

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

I can understand not wanting to divulge too much information to casual fucks, and let's be honest most of us fall into that category. I meet socially first. If they are reluctant to be seen with me in public there's a snowball in hell's chance of seeing me naked. If they don't meet at home because "their house ain't a knocking shop", they'll never see the inside of mine, let alone get inside me!

People will spin any yarn for a fuck, and "needy" people who need to know life stories leave themselves open to hurt. How many times have we seen threads (usually from women) who have felt used and abused after some man they've spent weeks getting to know, who they thought shared their values blocked them, change their number after a fuck?

Casual/no strings mean different things to different folk.

The beauty of Fab is we're all catered for. Rather than question how others run their business, if it's at odds with what you want...move on...the earth still turns.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I got burnt early on my divulging something personal to someone with loose lips on here.It was relatively minor but made me realize how personal info can be used by someone with an agenda. Won't do that again.

Now it's on a strictly need to know basis.

A random fb doesn't need to know about my personal life.And I don't need to know where they work, holiday or their pets names.

Why would they?"

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"The people I have casual sex with have no right to know the ins and outs of my private life.

We may divulge details occasionally, during a concersation, but if a new man wanted to know everything about me from the go I would not always be willing to divulge.

He's not part of my family or friends and it's not his business. "

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I’ve often seen this line used as a justification for not revealing information to other swingers, but if we’re fucking then surely I AM your ‘private life’? I like to know a little about people before they insert body parts in me, that often includes their relationship status, family and life experiences. I don’t think this makes me a weird stalker, more safety conscious and liking a good chat. How much are you prepared to reveal to potential sex partners? Do you NOT consider the people you fuck to be part of your ‘private life’?"

Nope , it’s just sex and that’s all we wanted .

It gets boring and spoils the fun if people start going on about relationship status , family and life experiences .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"A person you're fucking needs to know very little. They aint a huge part of your life "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seeing some of these responses makes me truly realise that I am lucky to be meeting who I'm meeting "

Couldn't agree more.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"When i was very young some of the most fun i had was with strangers."

I’m not young any more , and it still is

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