FabSwingers.com forum: Bullying in the workplace

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone wish the workplace was void of any kind of bullying whether it's from an employee, a general manager, duty manager or an area manager?

There must be a way where we can all spread awareness of bullying in the workplace and find a way to put an end to it.

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

I'm a female in a male dominated industry and while my employees and team wouldn't dare, peers are always trying to bully me as I'm an "easy target".

Then they regret it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's well documented that its not acceptable.

But introduce personalities and you have the human effect!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have an area manager who used to be a general manager at where I work. I can still remember the horrid shit he said to me in the past like that I should see a brain surgeon after making a small simple mistake which I still found offensive as I have Asperger's. He even threatened to sack when I was emotionally distressed which I think is bullying in my book.

After he left, I was glad that he was gone until I find out a year later that he is now area manager.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Who here is against bullies at work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re being bullied then report it! Most companies (actually all!) should take it seriously and deal with it appropriately if it’s a legitimate claim. Speak to your HR person in confidence.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fortunate to have pull enough to decide hirings and firings, and bullying gets you slung out. Simple as that. It's the shittiest behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying."

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!"

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?"

Depends on the context and how far they went.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?"

Taking you to one side and pointing out your mistake privately then explaining how you can avoid making it again is not bullying.

Shouting at you publicly is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

Taking you to one side and pointing out your mistake privately then explaining how you can avoid making it again is not bullying.

Shouting at you publicly is."

I thought so. I'm sure threatening to sack someone sort of counts along with telling them to see a brain surgeon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

Depends on the context and how far they went. "

How about to the point where they say something that offends the employee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop it before it escalates .report all bullying and stand up to them .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stop it before it escalates .report all bullying and stand up to them ."

This I agree but what seems to stop employees from doing so is the fear of getting sacked. The bully managers know this and will use that fear to control employees and other duty managers so they remain in power.

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Domestic violence used to be tolerated far more than it is now and rightly so.

We should do the same for workplace bullying. We should have zero tolerance for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop it before it escalates .report all bullying and stand up to them .

Become immune to it. Apologise for your mistake and ensure it doesn't happen again and don't let them see they have upset you, or that you fear them.

Those kinds of managers have their own insecurities and inadequacies and thrive on belittling and abusing verbally. Listen with a straight face, say you're sorry it won't happen again and take away their power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop it before it escalates .report all bullying and stand up to them .

Has anyone been sacked for reporting inappropriate behaviour of a manager?

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I mean it isn't tolerated and rightly so

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"Stop it before it escalates .report all bullying and stand up to them .

Has anyone been sacked for reporting inappropriate behaviour of a manager?"

No but I've been hounded out my job for it

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Sounds like a right charmer. Don’t accept it stand up to it and report it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Stop it before it escalates .report all bullying and stand up to them .

Has anyone been sacked for reporting inappropriate behaviour of a manager?

No but I've been hounded out my job for it"

Yes. This happens and is extremely difficult to prove. It also happens to whistle blowers. The reason it can continue is partly because other people stand by and say nothing.

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying."

Agreed! We need to build resilience in our children and it doesn’t help when some parents claim their child is being bullied when in actual fact they’ve just had one encounter with a mean child or other children are standing up to them and not letting them get their own way. Those children will only grow up into adults who feel victimised all the time.

Real bullying in the workplace or any place should not be tolerated and unless you stand up to people and speak our it will continue. Bullies are usually the weaker one in reality.

Lou x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do plan on reporting him but I think that others in my workplace should do the same as I've been told many things about what my former manager had been saying in the past.

Now that he's area manager, he's bullying the managers plus I've been told he even reduced a duty manager to tears.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

Real bullying in the workplace or any place should not be tolerated and unless you stand up to people and speak our it will continue. Bullies are usually the weaker one in reality.

Lou x "

It's funny because I was thinking about this in the shower this morning. When I was a kid my mum made a lot of my clothes. Three items stand out in my mind a pair of baggy shorts for pe that she made me out of some old floral curtains, an orange mini dress with flared sleeves that she trimmed with gold lampshade trimming and a really lovely pink dress that I wore and wore until it fell apart. The stick I took over the first two items would probably be classed as bullying now but I just accepted it, I would probably have dished it out if the boot was on the other foot

and I knew that. The difference I suppose is that kids don't know any better, adults do.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying."

I've lost count of the number of people who tell me they are being bullied only to find out otherwise.

People need to use a recognised working definition and not their own wounded egos.

A lot of people need to realise that taking offence at every small slight is often a good indication that YOU have a character flaw and are looking for someone to fight for you. Taking offence or not is ( a lot of the time ) a choice.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

Depends on the context and how far they went.

How about to the point where they say something that offends the employee?"

If I find something about you offensive - who is in the right ? Me or you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying."

It's rife on this website too, I learned quickly to develop a thick skin to protect myself from the fab bullies.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I don't condone bullying anywhere or anytime. Part of the problem is when people say they are being bullied when it isn't the case.

Anyone who wants to accuse another of bullying needs to have well documented evidence.

Usually evidence is non existent.

It can help if a NO BLAME discussion takes place between people with an impartial party present. So that each knows the others feelings and intentions BEFORE any accusations are made and ill feeling made worse.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Mostly it's called being 'adult' and having an 'adult' conversation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

I've lost count of the number of people who tell me they are being bullied only to find out otherwise.

People need to use a recognised working definition and not their own wounded egos.

Yep.

A colleague told me that she had left her previous job due to bullying. It soon became clear that her "strong personality" required robust handling to avoid her bullying you.

Bullying is soul destroying and life affecting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

Depends on the context and how far they went.

How about to the point where they say something that offends the employee?

If I find something about you offensive - who is in the right ? Me or you ?"

That would depend on the context.

What I meant when saying something to offend an employee which could be considered as discrimination if the employee has a disability.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

Depends on the context and how far they went.

How about to the point where they say something that offends the employee?

If I find something about you offensive - who is in the right ? Me or you ?

That would depend on the context.

What I meant when saying something to offend an employee which could be considered as discrimination if the employee has a disability. "

You need to speak to someone neutral who will get both sides of the story.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

Depends on the context and how far they went.

How about to the point where they say something that offends the employee?

If I find something about you offensive - who is in the right ? Me or you ?

That would depend on the context.

What I meant when saying something to offend an employee which could be considered as discrimination if the employee has a disability. "

You say..... you can STILL remember what he said to you. How FAR in the past was it ?

Is work aware that you have Aspergers ? Have you been diagnosed officially?

The time you are spending here asking sex maniacs about employment law could be better spent reading your works policies and law in general regarding bullying. Have you spoken to your union for advice ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We will never end bullying either in the workplace, schools or the wider world until every, single person who sees it and experiences it speaks up and is heard.

It also needs to be made clear that disagreeing with someone or telling them they need to improve at work is not bullying.

that’s a very valid point! Often disagreeing with someone or legitimate challenge can be perceived as ‘bullying’.

It can be a grey area at times!

I do agree. Does having a manager have a go at you for making a simple mistake count?

Depends on the context and how far they went.

How about to the point where they say something that offends the employee?

If I find something about you offensive - who is in the right ? Me or you ?

That would depend on the context.

What I meant when saying something to offend an employee which could be considered as discrimination if the employee has a disability.

You say..... you can STILL remember what he said to you. How FAR in the past was it ?

Is work aware that you have Aspergers ? Have you been diagnosed officially?

It was a year and a half ago. Yes I was officially diagnosed and I'm sure many at work apart from him was aware of my condition.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop it before it escalates .report all bullying and stand up to them .

Employee cant be sacked for being bullied .employer can loose job as it not acceptable for managers to bully employees .Get evidence and take it higher .

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Where I work we have a thing called “manage the manager”, this means we are all on the same level, on many occasions I have been able to say “no that’s not how we are doing it” and on many occasion I have stuck up for the lads that work with me, I hate bullying and will not tolerate it in my depertment even if it means saying “don’t talk to me like that”, any grievances of course should be reported to a higher manager or to HR, personal gripes should be talked out and put to bed pretty damn quick.

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By *riefcase_WankerMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

One of the problems with tackling this is you have to go to HR about it, and I've seen quite a few examples where HR behave worse than the rest of the workforce...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"One of the problems with tackling this is you have to go to HR about it, and I've seen quite a few examples where HR behave worse than the rest of the workforce...

I think another problem is that for them to take action you need to make a formal complaint. I witnessed bullying of a young colleague over several weeks and asked her privately if she wanted me to accompany her to hr and if she did that I was willing to state what I'd witnessed. She refused because she would have had to continue working under that person (so would I but I didn't care) and a formal report would have meant witness statements etc. She also asked me not to report it myself. Eventually she left. I suspect a lot of genuine bullying continues for this reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the problems with tackling this is you have to go to HR about it, and I've seen quite a few examples where HR behave worse than the rest of the workforce...

This reminds me of working in Supermarkets, I hear of a lot of Bullying going on at Tesco near me.

Disgusting

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

bullying is just a form of bad management , it’s just where people can’t talk or ask people to do things without becoming a twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone wish the workplace was void of any kind of bullying whether it's from an employee, a general manager, duty manager or an area manager?

There must be a way where we can all spread awareness of bullying in the workplace and find a way to put an end to it."

The workplace brings out the worst in people, it's worse than the internet.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"One of the problems with tackling this is you have to go to HR about it, and I've seen quite a few examples where HR behave worse than the rest of the workforce...

This reminds me of working in Supermarkets, I hear of a lot of Bullying going on at Tesco near me.

Disgusting"

I witnessed a manager humiliating a staff member in Waitrose so I phoned and complained. That'll teach him.

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