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This is going to hurt me more than it will you

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

This was 1 of my mother's favourite saying just as she bettered me with a tennis bat. Ye right it will you cow.

So what rediculas things did your say. Let's try and keep it funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the ice cream van used to play music my mum told me that it meant he had run out of ice cream!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't have your cake and eat it

What the point of having a cake you can't eat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll give you something to cry about!

I never did find out what it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You crying? What you crying for? I'll give you something to cry about!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do that again and you’ll get a good hiding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ll give you something to cry about!

I never did find out what it was"

Snap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You crying? What you crying for? I'll give you something to cry about! "

This was me to my son, my mum never said it.

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Bloody hell I'm going back to my youth. Fuck off I know it was a long time ago

Keep an coming

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

If all your friends jumped off a bridge would you do it?

Any random new food you weren't sure about "it will taste like chicken"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Were you born in a barn??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the ice cream van used to play music my mum told me that it meant he had run out of ice cream! "

That's just plain cruel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

il wipe that grin on the other side of your face in a minute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If This doesn’t kill you .... you’ll be less of a pussy!

(Dad coming home after a few social drinks, dealing with his gothy kid)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She never said anything significant...

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Straighten your face , if the wind changes it'll stick like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

careful if you pull a face like that or it will stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum once called me a son of a bitch.

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"She never said anything significant..."

Mine neither will she shown me what not to do with my own kids that's about all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the wind changes you'll stay like that. She was right, i did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum always used to say don't blow on a cockrel before sunrise

I never did get what on earth she was on about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t care which one of you started it

I’m stopping it.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"When the ice cream van used to play music my mum told me that it meant he had run out of ice cream! "

Smiles) was L’s mums favourite.

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Stop picking your nose your bum will fall off. I remember checking on ever little rout

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By *harliebbwWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

All of the above...

Plus if your no in bed by 10 make sure your home... took me years to work it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mum always used to say don't blow on a cockrel before sunrise

I never did get what on earth she was on about "

You may have misheard her....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who wants never gets.....

But if I don’t say I want it then of course i’ll never get it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the ice cream van used to play music my mum told me that it meant he had run out of ice cream! "

I tell my daughter that now - doesn't work though

"It's black o'er Bills mothers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can’t be good be careful

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By *ingle Dad SeekingMan
over a year ago

Northern England

"Can't you turn a light out when you leave a room; it's like Blackpool illuminations"

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


""Can't you turn a light out when you leave a room; it's like Blackpool illuminations" "

This!

And, act your age not your shoe size.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Can't you turn a light out when you leave a room; it's like Blackpool illuminations" "

Yes! I still say that to mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mums favourite was

If you fall and break a leg don’t come running to me

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By *i1971Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

If you eat the pips/seeds in the fruit a tree would grow in your stomach

If you get run over (crossing the road) it'll be no good running back for sympathy

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Do you think money grows on trees?

Were you born in a barn

You'll never have curly hair if you don't eat your crusts

Your face will stay like that if the wind changes

Ask your dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mum always used to say don't blow on a cockrel before sunrise

I never did get what on earth she was on about

You may have misheard her...."

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

If you fall I'll not catch you. Well no shit Sherlock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum used to threaten to ring the police everytime I disobeyed her

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"My mums favourite was

If you fall and break a leg don’t come running to me "

Mine too! I was always climbing trees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't swallow that chewing gum - it'll get wrapped around your ribs.

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

If you don't eat your crust your hair won't go curly. I didn't want curly hair. Still won't eat a crust.

Eat your carrots or you won't be able to see in the dark. Big news mum I was blind as a bat anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me "Just call me god!"

Son "why Mum"

Me "because I brought you into the world, I will be the one to take you out of it"

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

If you don’t have anything nice to say then best not say anything.

Actually that’s quite good advice and might be good if it was followed on here a bit more.

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

My mum used to say " Don't swallow chewing gum it wraps around your heart" lol ...mad woman but I love her

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By *ulip5567Woman
over a year ago

Swindon


"My mum always used to say don't blow on a cockrel before sunrise

I never did get what on earth she was on about "

Are you sure she said 'cockerel'

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"If you don’t have anything nice to say then best not say anything.

Actually that’s quite good advice and might be good if it was followed on here a bit more. "

True dat

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Ooh no. You swallow chewie it sticks to ya puddins!!

Fucked if I know where my puddins are but they’re caked in chewie I know that much.

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By *hite1100Man
over a year ago

Hither Green

“I’ll give you a bloody good hiding.” My dad used to say to shut me up.

It never came. The threat was enough!

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Also, no chicken nuggets, fish fingers, McDonald’s or other such luxuries as a child.

It was either

Tun round the table till you’re fed up

Shit with sugar on

Or

Bugger up in a Dixie???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Outside making brackets to hang my brothers canoes on the outside of the garage. Mum comes out with tea and biscuits. “ what are you doing?” Dad replies “ we are going to put our Colin’s canoes on these brackets as I want the space in the garage”. Mum replies” don’t be stupid David, they will get wet”. They are in their 70s now and we still laugh about that day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the ice cream van used to play music my mum told me that it meant he had run out of ice cream! "

My mum used to say the same

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"“I’ll give you a bloody good hiding.” My dad used to say to shut me up.

It never came. The threat was enough! "

Always is. Don't think I've ever needed to hit my kids but by fuck they got threaten with it enough

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

There’s nowt as queer as folk.

We weren’t even from the north.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mum always used to say don't blow on a cockrel before sunrise

I never did get what on earth she was on about

Are you sure she said 'cockerel' "

I am beginning to wonder

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

You've got until the count of three. One.... Two....

I still use that with mine. Never got to three. Fuck knows what I'll do if they test me on it

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By *easeme_pleasemeWoman
over a year ago

swindon

Me “What’s for tea mum “

Mum “shit with sugar on it”

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By *rCandPrincessCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

If I had a pound for every time you did... (whatever it was I was doing) I'd be a millionaire by now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Found my dad with some baby mice in a bowl full of water ,told me he was seeing if they were still breathing.

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

Don't come running to me with a broken leg

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham


"Do you think money grows on trees?

Were you born in a barn

You'll never have curly hair if you don't eat your crusts

Your face will stay like that if the wind changes

Ask your dad"

When asking Dad, you got

Ask yer mum

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By *ingle Dad SeekingMan
over a year ago

Northern England

On reflection, the funniest thing my dear old Mum used to do in an attempt to keep the 4 yr old me under some kind of control was (around November / December) was to shout "FATHER CHRISTMAS, HE'S BEING NAUGHTY".

Wind the clock forwards 50 years or so, and last year, I saw a couple in a cafe in Dublin where theit child was playing up; the Mum got her mobile phone out and said; "Right, I'm phoning Santa". I was in fits of laughter, but it certainly worked with her unruly offspring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the wind changes you'll stay like that. Alas she was quite correct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once it's gone it's gone! Haha

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