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"Is it the ghosting first or the limp apology/explanation return that you find worse? (I’m not endorsing either by the way)" Good question. Both incredibly annoying but in this instance, think I prefer if he'd stayed dead instead of resurrection | |||
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"Is it the ghosting first or the limp apology/explanation return that you find worse? (I’m not endorsing either by the way) Good question. Both incredibly annoying but in this instance, think I prefer if he'd stayed dead instead of resurrection" So that sounds like there was no way he could have restablished contact and provided an explanation that would ever have been accepted. That’s more what I meant, was it the lameness of the return not the return itself that irked, but it reads more that the initial ghosting was actually the issue. I may be wrong. | |||
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"I have just done a status about this very thing. Suddenly messaged me out of the blue after months of no contact. Surprise surprise......he's staying in a hotel in my area. My thoughts....dream on mate, I'm worth so much more than the likes of you." Did you reply to him? | |||
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"I have just done a status about this very thing. Suddenly messaged me out of the blue after months of no contact. Surprise surprise......he's staying in a hotel in my area. My thoughts....dream on mate, I'm worth so much more than the likes of you." Yeah sorry about that | |||
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"Is it the ghosting first or the limp apology/explanation return that you find worse? (I’m not endorsing either by the way) Good question. Both incredibly annoying but in this instance, think I prefer if he'd stayed dead instead of resurrection So that sounds like there was no way he could have restablished contact and provided an explanation that would ever have been accepted. That’s more what I meant, was it the lameness of the return not the return itself that irked, but it reads more that the initial ghosting was actually the issue. I may be wrong." Initial ghosting was very annoying. All was fine as far as I knew and just vanished. But I got over it, moved on. Just to pop up again is pointless as I don't do second chances. Been burnt too many times | |||
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"Is it the ghosting first or the limp apology/explanation return that you find worse? (I’m not endorsing either by the way) Good question. Both incredibly annoying but in this instance, think I prefer if he'd stayed dead instead of resurrection So that sounds like there was no way he could have restablished contact and provided an explanation that would ever have been accepted. That’s more what I meant, was it the lameness of the return not the return itself that irked, but it reads more that the initial ghosting was actually the issue. I may be wrong. Initial ghosting was very annoying. All was fine as far as I knew and just vanished. But I got over it, moved on. Just to pop up again is pointless as I don't do second chances. Been burnt too many times " That’s fair enough. Again, solely playing devil’s advocate (and not negating the confusion/upset/horrible ugh of ghosting) perhaps they were unaware you don’t give second chances, or simply wanted to express apologies (however limp) for their behaviour before. Or complete nobhead behaviour assuming that time has made it all okay to continue, which is not cool. You’re right to ignore if that works best for you. I’d be inclined to acknowledge the apology but confirm things have moved on and you’re not inclined to continue contact and wish them well, but that’s only my opinion and obviously I am well aware I don’t have knowledge of the interactions. I tend to think people are only ever doing the best they can in a situation. That doesn’t mean people don’t hurt each other, obviously. Look after you. | |||
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"Don't you just hate it? Before you ask, it's someone who you've been chatting to/meeting then disappears only to resurface months later as if no time has passed. I was seeing a chap who ghosted me who has just resurfaced after two months with a limp text apology. Temped to ask 'who is this?' but a friend advised to just ignore. Casual, NSA, FWB, something more substantial, whatever you're on Fab for, is submarining acceptable?" Of course it's excepted. Their not your partner. What isn't excepted is if they've been online or meeting and ignored you. It's right you didn't ask who is it,as that sends a single that you like to play games . Also is the apology legit in your eyes. If so then no problem. If you don't believe it then just move on. Would be interesting to know what type of connection you had with said male,seeing as you started a thread about him?. What did you see him as? Lexi | |||
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"I have just done a status about this very thing. Suddenly messaged me out of the blue after months of no contact. Surprise surprise......he's staying in a hotel in my area. My thoughts....dream on mate, I'm worth so much more than the likes of you." I have had that happen to me too... On the positive side i was able to block them | |||
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"I have just done a status about this very thing. Suddenly messaged me out of the blue after months of no contact. Surprise surprise......he's staying in a hotel in my area. My thoughts....dream on mate, I'm worth so much more than the likes of you. Did you reply to him?" I did. I was polite but got my point across to him. | |||
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"I have just done a status about this very thing. Suddenly messaged me out of the blue after months of no contact. Surprise surprise......he's staying in a hotel in my area. My thoughts....dream on mate, I'm worth so much more than the likes of you. Did you reply to him? I did. I was polite but got my point across to him." Good. If it was just the status I reckon it would of been an opportunity lost and perhaps you would of been frustrated on not giving him a piece of your mind. As before he messaged you, you have nothing to regret and that's always a nice feeling. | |||
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"Sorry for my ignorance but what is submarining? " Umm 1st line of the OP goes some way of explaining it better than I could. | |||
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"Sorry for my ignorance but what is submarining? Umm 1st line of the OP goes some way of explaining it better than I could." FFS, sorry ... Double ignorance now | |||
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"I didn't know there was an actual name for it! Was only talking about a couple of days ago, with friends. Over the last couple of weeks, I've had this happening. 7 times to be exact. Couple of people I actually met several times, the others just ones I'd chatted with, but had been arranging a social. For whatever reason, they either left the site, or just havn't been online. All have sent messages, wanting to reconnect. I've declined. I found the assumption of the 2 I'd met - both over a year ago - that I'd automatically come running at a click of their fingers amusing. It wasn't so much they asked, it was the way they asked. Apparantly my refusal, means I now think I'm too good & up my own arse according to one! The other just blocked me. I didn't even reply to the ones I'd not met, one sent me several messages over a 4hr period. I was at work & only saw them later. I blocked him. What I did find really amusing. One is using the same pics he had on his old profile, that's the only reason I knew who it was, but he is now 7yrs younger than he was a year ago! " They must think that we are desperate and siting waiting for their messages and will go running when they ask. Ermmm.....nope, it doesn't quite work like that guys. All we ask for is some respect and honesty, but it seems it's too much to ask these days. | |||
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"Sorry for my ignorance but what is submarining? Umm 1st line of the OP goes some way of explaining it better than I could. FFS, sorry ... Double ignorance now " Haha. It was a brand new thing to me earlier this afternoon and I've learned something new but my way with words isn't as good when it comes to the crunch. | |||
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"Don't you just hate it? Before you ask, it's someone who you've been chatting to/meeting then disappears only to resurface months later as if no time has passed. I was seeing a chap who ghosted me who has just resurfaced after two months with a limp text apology. Temped to ask 'who is this?' but a friend advised to just ignore. Casual, NSA, FWB, something more substantial, whatever you're on Fab for, is submarining acceptable? Of course it's excepted. Their not your partner. What isn't excepted is if they've been online or meeting and ignored you. It's right you didn't ask who is it,as that sends a single that you like to play games . Also is the apology legit in your eyes. If so then no problem. If you don't believe it then just move on. Would be interesting to know what type of connection you had with said male,seeing as you started a thread about him?. What did you see him as? Lexi" Numerous times things have drifted with folks on here and never bothered me but kinda liked this one. Bit more backstory....saw a few times, got on like a house on fire, all well, arranged another meet. Asked to confirm on the day, read my (WhatsApp) and blocked me. Radio silence until today. Thread isn't about him per se. It's happened before and pretty sure it'll happen again | |||
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"Don't you just hate it? Before you ask, it's someone who you've been chatting to/meeting then disappears only to resurface months later as if no time has passed. I was seeing a chap who ghosted me who has just resurfaced after two months with a limp text apology. Temped to ask 'who is this?' but a friend advised to just ignore. Casual, NSA, FWB, something more substantial, whatever you're on Fab for, is submarining acceptable? Of course it's excepted. Their not your partner. What isn't excepted is if they've been online or meeting and ignored you. It's right you didn't ask who is it,as that sends a single that you like to play games . Also is the apology legit in your eyes. If so then no problem. If you don't believe it then just move on. Would be interesting to know what type of connection you had with said male,seeing as you started a thread about him?. What did you see him as? Lexi Numerous times things have drifted with folks on here and never bothered me but kinda liked this one. Bit more backstory....saw a few times, got on like a house on fire, all well, arranged another meet. Asked to confirm on the day, read my (WhatsApp) and blocked me. Radio silence until today. Thread isn't about him per se. It's happened before and pretty sure it'll happen again " Totally out of order - he deserves to get told to fuck off IMO! | |||
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"Don't you just hate it? Before you ask, it's someone who you've been chatting to/meeting then disappears only to resurface months later as if no time has passed. I was seeing a chap who ghosted me who has just resurfaced after two months with a limp text apology. Temped to ask 'who is this?' but a friend advised to just ignore. Casual, NSA, FWB, something more substantial, whatever you're on Fab for, is submarining acceptable? Of course it's excepted. Their not your partner. What isn't excepted is if they've been online or meeting and ignored you. It's right you didn't ask who is it,as that sends a single that you like to play games . Also is the apology legit in your eyes. If so then no problem. If you don't believe it then just move on. Would be interesting to know what type of connection you had with said male,seeing as you started a thread about him?. What did you see him as? Lexi Numerous times things have drifted with folks on here and never bothered me but kinda liked this one. Bit more backstory....saw a few times, got on like a house on fire, all well, arranged another meet. Asked to confirm on the day, read my (WhatsApp) and blocked me. Radio silence until today. Thread isn't about him per se. It's happened before and pretty sure it'll happen again " He sounds like one to ignore, and good riddance. | |||
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"I’m guilty of this I got in a bike accident and when I surfaced after months of recovery nobody believed me. . " Sorry to hear it. Hope you're a lot better now. | |||
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"Don't you just hate it? Before you ask, it's someone who you've been chatting to/meeting then disappears only to resurface months later as if no time has passed. I was seeing a chap who ghosted me who has just resurfaced after two months with a limp text apology. Temped to ask 'who is this?' but a friend advised to just ignore. Casual, NSA, FWB, something more substantial, whatever you're on Fab for, is submarining acceptable?" Yes it’s absolutely fine... | |||
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"I think there are *some* circumstances where it would be acceptable, but they would usually involve a level of explanation *before* the disappearing act or at least the occasional "up periscope" in the period between diving and resurfacing. If someone just disappeared without so much as a bye or leave, then they'd need to be pretty damned convincing and have low expectations of any immediate rekindling of things when they did male contact." I have a couple of men friends I accept it off, because I know their circumstances and neither are from here. | |||
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"Don't you just hate it? Before you ask, it's someone who you've been chatting to/meeting then disappears only to resurface months later as if no time has passed. I was seeing a chap who ghosted me who has just resurfaced after two months with a limp text apology. Temped to ask 'who is this?' but a friend advised to just ignore. Casual, NSA, FWB, something more substantial, whatever you're on Fab for, is submarining acceptable?" Absolutely hate it! I met a guy on here who disappears for months then reappears, asking for a meet as if no time has passed at all. Despise when friends and family do it. | |||
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"This must be a male thing, cause women don’t do it in my experience. " Women do it all the time! I just assume they need space, so leave them to it. | |||
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"This must be a male thing, cause women don’t do it in my experience. Women do it all the time! I just assume they need space, so leave them to it." | |||
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"This must be a male thing, cause women don’t do it in my experience. Women do it all the time! I just assume they need space, so leave them to it." Maybe, I just don’t notice when they’re gone then. | |||
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"sometimes life gets in the way. Why waste time on months and months of chat if you only get the chance to meet once every few months? On a past profile I spent 3 years chatting with a woman who talked a good eet, but could never find the time. Another was all up for meeting until I was in England and lo and behold was snowed in. I was 5 miles away and the roads were clear." That reason is very feasible. I can get blocked in by snow where I live, but 1 mile away the road is open. | |||
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"I thought this was going to be a face sitting thread " I thought it was about poorly fitting seatbelts. | |||
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"sometimes life gets in the way. Why waste time on months and months of chat if you only get the chance to meet once every few months? On a past profile I spent 3 years chatting with a woman who talked a good eet, but could never find the time. Another was all up for meeting until I was in England and lo and behold was snowed in. I was 5 miles away and the roads were clear. That reason is very feasible. I can get blocked in by snow where I live, but 1 mile away the road is open." Not in the south of England when the snow is 24 hours away. | |||
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"Isn't this just another version of the "somebody stopped chatting to me for no reason" thread? Forget it, don't bother replying to their messages and just move on." Where’ve you been? You disappeared and now you pop up here all chitter chatter. Pfffft. | |||
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"Isn't this just another version of the "somebody stopped chatting to me for no reason" thread? Forget it, don't bother replying to their messages and just move on. Where’ve you been? You disappeared and now you pop up here all chitter chatter. Pfffft." If you wasn't concerned enough to pm me then I'm not going to tell you where I've been. (in other words, nowhere interesting) | |||
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"Isn't this just another version of the "somebody stopped chatting to me for no reason" thread? Forget it, don't bother replying to their messages and just move on. Where’ve you been? You disappeared and now you pop up here all chitter chatter. Pfffft. If you wasn't concerned enough to pm me then I'm not going to tell you where I've been. (in other words, nowhere interesting)" | |||
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"I understand why somebody who meets you, then ghosts you, then reappears months later is a bit shitty but isn't the messaging version of that here on Fab just the same as mingling at a party? Just because the person chatted to you and then wandered off doesn't mean they're not into you. Maybe you gave off signs you weren't so into them? And just because they eventually start talking to you again after having made their way through a room of people doesn't mean you're a second rate option for them. Maybe they've been trying to find an excuse to talk to you again all that time? " I’d agree, and my interpreting of the term ghosting and submarining is that involves having met, or at the absolute least an extended (month++) period of daily talking online/on phone/skype etc off site where there’s a mutual understanding that ghosting would be bizarre and upsetting. | |||
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"When somebody, you've not seen in over a year, but appears in your local updates, posts a status saying 'horny & bored' Then an hour later sends you a two word message. Yep... That's tonight's Submariner! " You can't buy friends like that ...well err you probably could | |||
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"This has happened to me a few times. People come and go from the site. To be honest it's never really bothered me in the past. Life can be complicated and people usually have their reasons, good or bad. Sometimes the reunions can make up for it! " Agree with this. | |||
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"Some of you have missed the point... chatting and disappearing is slightly different to someone you've gotten to know in person then vanishes on the day of a meet only to rock up months later " | |||
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"Don't you just hate it? Before you ask, it's someone who you've been chatting to/meeting then disappears only to resurface months later as if no time has passed. I was seeing a chap who ghosted me who has just resurfaced after two months with a limp text apology. Temped to ask 'who is this?' but a friend advised to just ignore. Casual, NSA, FWB, something more substantial, whatever you're on Fab for, is submarining acceptable?" Odd for them to just disappear and resurface - but there could be a good explanation. I move around the country spending 3-6 months in one place - but I explain why I won’t be in contact/looking to meet for a while. And still stay in touch with friends, obviously! | |||
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