Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you." Exactamondo | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yeah, I could" Good to hear x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To myself probably not " Why not, I wonder? x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you." I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me? Today is a bad day. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No, I'd never believe me." You should. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes, I could." Excellent | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I couldn't say it without laughing" Laughing is good x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I could make it look convincing, but it would be insincere. " Why, Mr B? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hell no. I’d be too busy laughing at the idea of it. "Because it's a daft idea ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"God no not at all. X " Gosh, why?x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Right now, yes. I feel like I'm winning at life right now and love it." Excellent x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No. I'm a lying bastard..." Ok | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me? Today is a bad day. " You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved. Same to everyone on this thread. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No .....I will never love myself ... " Really? Why? That sound kind of hard. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hell no. I’d be too busy laughing at the idea of it.
Because it's a daft idea ?"It would feel daft, yes. Standing in front of a mirror and saying anything to myself would make me feel daft though. I know it’s supposed to be good for you, like Gareth Cheeseman ‘ You are the best, you’re the best, you’re number 1, you’re a tiger roaaaaaar’ But I can’t do it with a straight face. It might be the Yorkshire in me. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No. I've never been one for looking in the mirror and I can't act for toffee." I love mirrors, but I'd be a shit actor x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me? Today is a bad day. You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved. Same to everyone on this thread." But not truly, as I don't love myself? Sorry, I just hate that saying. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me? Today is a bad day. You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved. Same to everyone on this thread. But not truly, as I don't love myself? Sorry, I just hate that saying. " Yeah, I hate the idea that if you're not OK with who you are then others can't love you. It's an awfully vicious circle, particularly for those who struggle with depression. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No. I accept myself, I have compassion for myself, but I did way too many of those awful 90s forced self esteem things to come at love. " Acceptance and compassion are good | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I used to be riddled with self-loathing, to the extent that I couldn't even handle someone else saying something nice to me (I would run away and start bawling my eyes out) let alone dream of saying something nice to myself. But everyone seems to think I'm amazing except me, so gradually they've worn me down. I guess I could probably give myself a "Meh, you're alright"" Yes you are. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me? Today is a bad day. " xxxxxxx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you." That's exactly what I was going to say 
And the simplistic English word love has so many meanings
I indeed love myself as I love my mother or my sister
For me to be the best happiest and most functional human I need to love me first that ensures I don't neglect me which in turn means I don't neglect others and can indeed be strong enough to offer support
So yes j'madore xxx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don't love myself. I like myself." Excellent | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I could say I hate myself very easy. " Why? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you had to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I love you" could you do it convincingly, and if not why not? " Good question and I'm surprised but yes I could. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I couldn't say it without laughing Laughing is good x" It's the best tonic in life isn't it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me? Today is a bad day. You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved. Same to everyone on this thread. But not truly, as I don't love myself? Sorry, I just hate that saying. Yeah, I hate the idea that if you're not OK with who you are then others can't love you. It's an awfully vicious circle, particularly for those who struggle with depression. " Exactly. I find it difficult to like myself most of the time but I know I have people who do love me. It's that love that keeps me going half the time. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I used to be riddled with self-loathing, to the extent that I couldn't even handle someone else saying something nice to me (I would run away and start bawling my eyes out) let alone dream of saying something nice to myself. But everyone seems to think I'm amazing except me, so gradually they've worn me down. I guess I could probably give myself a "Meh, you're alright" Yes you are." 
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me? Today is a bad day. You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved. Same to everyone on this thread. But not truly, as I don't love myself? Sorry, I just hate that saying. " No words, just a hug of support. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul" Can I get an Amen up in here  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. That's exactly what I was going to say
And the simplistic English word love has so many meanings
I indeed love myself as I love my mother or my sister
For me to be the best happiest and most functional human I need to love me first that ensures I don't neglect me which in turn means I don't neglect others and can indeed be strong enough to offer support
So yes j'madore xxx "Good to hear | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No  . Too much I dislike at the moment "Why? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul Can I get an Amen up in here "Amen! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul" Because I actually care about other people. That's how I can love someone else and not myself. Because I don't love myself, I want to love someone else so much more. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"no i dont think i can. i only have a small mirror and thats for shaving so i dont really look into one. " Ok | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don’t look in the mirror unless I’m combing my hair. It don’t lie does it?" Ok | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes I could. " Great x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul Because I actually care about other people. That's how I can love someone else and not myself. Because I don't love myself, I want to love someone else so much more. " Ah. I just wanna give you a big massive Mac hug  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you had to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I love you" could you do it convincingly, and if not why not? Good question and I'm surprised but yes I could. " That's great to hear | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul Can I get an Amen up in here
Amen!"Were you in the Midlands at anytime , I have no idea why I blocked you ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes" Succinctly put. Good. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul Because I actually care about other people. That's how I can love someone else and not myself. Because I don't love myself, I want to love someone else so much more. Ah. I just wanna give you a big massive Mac hug "Sorry, its just one of those things that winds me up. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Makes me think of the scene in Home Alone 2 - I LOVE you.. Sorry, back on topic - I'm not sure I could but I'm working on it. " It dies take work sometimes. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I could say I hate myself very easy. Why?" Because of what I am. Because of what I have done. The usual self loathing bollocks. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul" RuRu the Guru | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"God no not at all. X Gosh, why?x" Because I don’t love myself, not sure I’m lovable x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No . Too much I dislike at the moment
Why?"Just not where I want to be physically and don't like some of the things about myself but I'll get there again one day | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes easy i often do alan partrridges i am a tiger raaaaa raaaaaa raaaaaaa in the mirror" I can imagine, my feline friend. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I could say I hate myself very easy. Why? Because of what I am. Because of what I have done. The usual self loathing bollocks. " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"CRINGE It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it "Cheese can be good. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Whats love got to do with it. Whats love, but a second hand emotion" Thanks Tina x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course I could. Have you seen me?  "Excellent | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul Can I get an Amen up in here
Amen!
Were you in the Midlands at anytime , I have no idea why I blocked you ?"Sorry I can’t help. I don’t know you and I’m not psychic. Not nice pointing out that you’ve blocked someone btw. Not good for the old ego | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think my love function has been disabled "As a survival tactic? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I could say I hate myself very easy. Why? Because of what I am. Because of what I have done. The usual self loathing bollocks. "I'm sorry to hear that.it must be a horrible way to feel x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No way lol ."Yes way! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"CRINGE It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it
Cheese can be good." Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course I could. Have you seen me?
Excellent"lol. Gotta love yourself haven't you x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"God no not at all. X Gosh, why?x Because I don’t love myself, not sure I’m lovable x "You are loveable. You deserve to be loved. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Probably not, because I don't open up easily to being loved." Ok,why do you think that might be? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow. If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul Can I get an Amen up in here
Amen!
Were you in the Midlands at anytime , I have no idea why I blocked you ?
Sorry I can’t help. I don’t know you and I’m not psychic. Not nice pointing out that you’ve blocked someone btw. Not good for the old ego "Aw , I don't block anyone from forum , even brexit voters xxx but I do block profiles within 30 miles of me , if they are not interested ? Thus was curious if your profile had ever said it was within 30 miles If not I also have no idea why you would be blocked? And I have over 4000 on my block list so can't find you to unblock lol | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think my love function has been disabled
As a survival tactic?"Quite probably yes. X | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not sure. "Ok.... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No . Too much I dislike at the moment
Why?
Just not where I want to be physically and don't like some of the things about myself but I'll get there again one day "Yes you can and you will | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved. Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me "It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think it’s ok to not love yourself. You just have to master the trick of living with yourself and it will all be ok. "Accepting yourself, yes. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Probably not, because I don't open up easily to being loved. Ok,why do you think that might be?" Think I was brought up not to show emotion too much. However as I'm getting older I'm getting better (or worse). Now such a softy and blubber at the drop of a hat at sad films. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"CRINGE It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it
Cheese can be good.
Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master "Yes Dame Barbara | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I could but I'd be lying to myself. " Why? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think my love function has been disabled
As a survival tactic?
Quite probably yes. X"That's understandable x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved. Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me
It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first."Unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone. I don't want to get too much into specifics, but this kind of thinking backfired on me for a long time, made the problem worse. I absolutely appreciate that you mean well, but there's no one right way about this stuff. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not a chance!" Really why? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Probably not, because I don't open up easily to being loved. Ok,why do you think that might be? Think I was brought up not to show emotion too much. However as I'm getting older I'm getting better (or worse). Now such a softy and blubber at the drop of a hat at sad films." You're allowed to cry, at sad films and life in general x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you." I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"CRINGE It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it
Cheese can be good.
Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master
Yes Dame Barbara"I just tried "Hello Darling" and that seemed fine. Does that count? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable." I love you. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved. Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me
It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first.
Unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone. I don't want to get too much into specifics, but this kind of thinking backfired on me for a long time, made the problem worse. I absolutely appreciate that you mean well, but there's no one right way about this stuff. "You are absolutely right, there's no one right way. You have to find what works for you. But as someone who walked round with a sack of misery/loathing/guilt on her back for many many years,I do know what that feels like,and it doesn't half feel good if you can put it down and be kind to yourself. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not a chance! Really why?" Because I don't love myself. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Probably not, because I don't open up easily to being loved. Ok,why do you think that might be? Think I was brought up not to show emotion too much. However as I'm getting older I'm getting better (or worse). Now such a softy and blubber at the drop of a hat at sad films. You're allowed to cry, at sad films and life in general x" That's a good job as I'm a dab hand at both at the minute | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yep. The words "You're a dickhead but I love you and every now and then you make me proud" aren't too difficult right now." Good to hear | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable." I think my take on this would be...If you were building a house and you wanted it to stay standing you'd need strong foundations. If you are building a loving, lasting relationship you need strong foundations too. If someone doesn't love themselves it weakens the foundations of that relationship. It doesn't mean they can't be loved, but it does make it harder to stop those cracks in the foundations affecting the whole building. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"CRINGE It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it
Cheese can be good.
Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master
Yes Dame Barbara
I just tried "Hello Darling" and that seemed fine. Does that count? "For you, that's a win | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Last time I looked in a mirror there was no reflection " Vampires deserve love too | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not right now I have done I will again Just not right now " Ok,work in progress. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable. I love you. " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not a chance! Really why? Because I don't love myself." That's sad to hear x but ok to admit. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable. I think my take on this would be...If you were building a house and you wanted it to stay standing you'd need strong foundations. If you are building a loving, lasting relationship you need strong foundations too. If someone doesn't love themselves it weakens the foundations of that relationship. It doesn't mean they can't be loved, but it does make it harder to stop those cracks in the foundations affecting the whole building. " Agree with this. Like building on a fault line. Always potential for cracking | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you had to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I love you" could you do it convincingly, and if not why not? " I do it all the time anyway. I’m fucking amazing 
I don’t btw. Just said for comedy effect. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved. Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me
It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first.
Unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone. I don't want to get too much into specifics, but this kind of thinking backfired on me for a long time, made the problem worse. I absolutely appreciate that you mean well, but there's no one right way about this stuff.
You are absolutely right, there's no one right way. You have to find what works for you.
But as someone who walked round with a sack of misery/loathing/guilt on her back for many many years,I do know what that feels like,and it doesn't half feel good if you can put it down and be kind to yourself.
"I know. I've walked a similar path. But the prescription of love, lest you be unlovable, did me harm. I found another way to a similar result. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you. I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable. I think my take on this would be...If you were building a house and you wanted it to stay standing you'd need strong foundations. If you are building a loving, lasting relationship you need strong foundations too. If someone doesn't love themselves it weakens the foundations of that relationship. It doesn't mean they can't be loved, but it does make it harder to stop those cracks in the foundations affecting the whole building. " Sure. But nonetheless some people are healed by the love of another, and thereby learn to love themselves. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you had to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I love you" could you do it convincingly, and if not why not? You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you." Love myself, "no it would seem empty" I'd much rather love another with a hope they might love me back | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
