FabSwingers.com forum: Cunty neighbours - share your experiences here!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My next door neighbours are utter twats the pair of them. Non stop moaning about everything from the way I mow my lawn to the fact that a friend was smoking a fag in my back garden and it blew into their open patio doors....

I just want an easy life and hate confrontation but they are seriously doing my head in now and I'm finding it hard now to start being picky back.

What's the most annoying thing your neighbours have done? Are they just manners or are they real arseholes?! Share your tales of woe here to make me feel better please!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Moaners that should say, not manners!

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

I once had neighbours who were incredibly noisy, would do the vacuuming at 3am and we’re constantly screaming at each other, at the kids and would play tv and music so loud it at all hours that it drove us nuts. We got the council noise monitoring in who gave them a noise abatement order but it didn’t stop.

In my the end I resorted to playing their game. Set up my stereo next to the adjoining wall. Put one particular song on repeat at full volume and then left it playing for 24 hours while we stayed out overnight. Never had a noise problem from them after that!

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Had a flat a few years back and I swear they were tap dancing at 4 am weekend nights ended up getting the landlord to try sort but it just continued so ended up moving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My next door neighbours are complete dicks.. he left a note on my car saying he owned the space I was parked in.. (it's a road!!!) she walks over my front garden right in front of my window instead of using the path around it.. and to top it off.. when she struggles to get her car past next doors in the mini car park she drives over my grass to get out!! If I put bins or anything as a barrier she simply drives into them.. rude rude rude!!!

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

"My next door neighbours are complete dicks.. he left a note on my car saying he owned the space I was parked in.. (it's a road!!!) she walks over my front garden right in front of my window instead of using the path around it.. and to top it off.. when she struggles to get her car past next doors in the mini car park she drives over my grass to get out!! If I put bins or anything as a barrier she simply drives into them.. rude rude rude!!!"

Put some big ass rocks on the grass and paint them a tasteful colour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put some big ass rocks on the grass and paint them a tasteful colour. "

Need to do something they're driving me nuts!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Put some big ass rocks on the grass and paint them a tasteful colour.

Need to do something they're driving me nuts!!! "

This is what I'm struggling with - their ridiculous petty behaviour is making me want to behave really childish.

Can't wait for next summer when they are having one of their bbqs in the garden and I will invite all my smoking friends over to chainsmoke in the garden whilst playing some grime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/10/18 13:58:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put some big ass rocks on the grass and paint them a tasteful colour.

Need to do something they're driving me nuts!!!

This is what I'm struggling with - their ridiculous petty behaviour is making me want to behave really childish.

Can't wait for next summer when they are having one of their bbqs in the garden and I will invite all my smoking friends over to chainsmoke in the garden whilst playing some grime

Ha ha sounds perfect!!! It's hard to stay rational when people are so inconsiderate!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My previous neighbours were absolute nightmares, at least three nights a week they would have blazing rows, always about the same thing. If they had parties they would go on till the early hours, I don't mind that but they would just all sing/scream all night long. If they went away they would leave their teenage son alone, I am sure he has issues, always got his mates over for the night. No idea what they were taking but they used to just scream all night, had to call police once as I was concerned about the safety of the teenage girls they had invited. He would sleep in his parents bed and watch shit TV all night with the TV turned up to max. Thank god they have gone and the new ones are OK.

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By *urity555Man
over a year ago

south west

My old neighbour who lived opposite:

List of complaints:

1) I’m a single parent in private accommodation

2) my orange car is an eyesore

3) my car is too noisy

4) he can see in my kitchen in the mornings

5) a dandelion was growing on the path

6) my kids playing in the garden are too noisy

7) my rubbish bins aren’t facing the right way

8) I go to work too early in the morning & my car lights wake him up!

Thank god we now live in the middle of nowhere!!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Smashed the rear screen of my car, put nails under my tyres so I got a slow puncture when I reversed out, scratched my car, threw dog poo at the side wall of our house, threw dog poo in to our garden. Apary from that they were ok.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

My previous neighbours were awful. It was a shared house and the landlord rented out the rooms individually, he wasn't fussy who he had there. There were constant fights one of which culminated with their front window being shot through with a gun! I was trying to sell my house at the time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have neighbours. It's absolute bliss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Purity555 wins with "my orange car is an eyesore"

Perhaps I should consider a lurid car for my next one? I'm getting a new car next year.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s been so many things with my neighbours. The latest was trying to blame my disabled sons for throwing shit against their front door. Every chance they get they try and use some excuse to blame them or I’m doing something wrong by being a parent. X

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

For the last few years some flats designed for OAP's are being let out 20-30 yr old drug addicts from the arse end of the earth. There's been fights, police raids, ambulances, zombies, doors getting kicked in and dogs that attack anything and anyone. By the time one group moves out, another moves in with their sidekicks.

A nice street has now got boarded up windows. The council don't repair as I expect they want to claim damage back from the tenant. The Police do nothing, as they see it as low level crime and don't show up until the day after. The change has been dramatic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to contribute, but realise my complaints are negligible compared to some of these! I'll shut up and be grateful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not where I live now but the previous house the neighbour was a right cunt! She would throw her cat poo into my garden. In the end i bagged it up and posted it through her door! We’d even cross the road to avoid each other.

Where I live now the neighbours are lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Purity555 wins with "my orange car is an eyesore"

Perhaps I should consider a lurid car for my next one? I'm getting a new car next year.....

Go for it badbunny.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was going to contribute, but realise my complaints are negligible compared to some of these! I'll shut up and be grateful! "

Yes I must admit that my cunty neighbours seem like a light touch compared to some of the stories here. It's made me feel better and made me giggle at some of the bastardy things people actually do

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"My old neighbour who lived opposite:

List of complaints:

1) I’m a single parent in private accommodation

2) my orange car is an eyesore

3) my car is too noisy

4) he can see in my kitchen in the mornings

5) a dandelion was growing on the path

6) my kids playing in the garden are too noisy

7) my rubbish bins aren’t facing the right way

8) I go to work too early in the morning & my car lights wake him up!

Thank god we now live in the middle of nowhere!!! "

I hope your thouraly ashamed of yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had neighbours from hell when I lived in Luton . They burgled me and was later put away for murder so we got away light. Next set was chased out in night cos he was paedophile

Moved to ireland and never looked back. Live in middle of country and its heaven

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

My neighbours are not there much of the time .... Thank goodness .

She is lovley

But im sure he does some things just to wind me up ...

He chopped his elderly neighbours tall trees in their garden. ...losing a lot of wild life and a beautiful owl that came back every year .....he reckoned the trees made his garden dark ... then he had the cheek to put a bird feeder in his garden.

He has put carpet gripper all along the top of the fence to stop my cat walking along the fence......

He has to park both his van and his wifes car outside his house ..

If I go out in my car he pinches my spot .....

I try my best to avoid him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My old neighbour was an utter cunt. He had the cops round at me more times than I care to remember!

Revving my motorcycle at 3,30am (I want even in country at the time

Scaring his dog by looking at it

My van blocked sunlight into his upstairs bedroom and on the day of my father's funeral he asked the hearse carrying the coffin to move as he couldn't get off his drive... His Mrs left him shortly after he's now living in a transit camper on waste ground further up the coast

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Scaring his dog just by looking at it

that one has really cracked me up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"His Mrs left him shortly after he's now living in a transit camper on waste ground further up the coast

Karma is such a wonderful thing and oh so satisfying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His Mrs left him shortly after he's now living in a transit camper on waste ground further up the coast

Karma is such a wonderful thing and oh so satisfying

"
isn't it just

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once lived next door to an old couple. The guy was going a bit senile, started to claim I was banging on the walls and repeatedly opening and shutting the curtains purposely to piss him off. He even reported me to the authorities. Funny thing was I was working nights at the time and wasn’t even in. He resorted to banging on the walls with a hammer in retaliation. I dread to think of the damage he did.

I’d laugh about it, but he died suddenly one day of a heart attack, probably stressing over me. Poor bastard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Scaring his dog just by looking at it

that one has really cracked me up

"
it was a bloody doberman too! I've caused trauma to a dog by looking at it I'm ashamed of myself.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His Mrs left him shortly after he's now living in a transit camper on waste ground further up the coast

Karma is such a wonderful thing and oh so satisfying

isn't it just "
I saw his Mrs a few weeks ago she looks 20yrs younger and no longer drinks to excess. She's still fit too ii might try it on see if she bites!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/10/18 14:53:48]

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

"My old neighbour who lived opposite:

List of complaints:

1) I’m a single parent in private accommodation

2) my orange car is an eyesore

3) my car is too noisy

4) he can see in my kitchen in the mornings

5) a dandelion was growing on the path

6) my kids playing in the garden are too noisy

7) my rubbish bins aren’t facing the right way

8) I go to work too early in the morning & my car lights wake him up!

Thank god we now live in the middle of nowhere!!! "

You had your rubbish bins facing the wrong way. You utter bastards!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ours Burgled our house a few years back , thank the lord they were evicted soon afterwards, he's in jail now too

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"Ours Burgled our house a few years back , thank the lord they were evicted soon afterwards, he's in jail now too"
.

Thank god you didn’t mean Brenda and Clive!

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Mine stunk my house out with so many times that i developed a sensitivity to it, they also pissed me off when my kids got high off it one night. I think they were growing it rather than smoking it.

She also has constant rages, it's really hard living next door to that. Can't wait to move out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moaning when the smoke from my chimney blew their way.

WTF do they expect me to do about that??!! My house was here 100 years before theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My neighbour sleeps all day and is up all night. Loud music, vacuuming, playing what I assume is darts. Drives me nuts

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I've lived in a good few houses and flats over the years and touch wood I've always been lucky with my neighbours.

Sorry to hear yours sound challenging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg I'm so lucky ... never had a bad neighbour in 50 years!! Always get on with them ... and moved all over this country and several other countries too.

Saying this am waiting for new neighbours as I type this ...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Can't recall ever having bad neighbours. We have an annual street party, we all have each others email address, we take in each others packages and get on well.

My parents on the other hand...When they retired up north they sang the praises of the neighbours. Said they were always making jams which they bought and gave as gifts etc.

I spent a week there and disliked the neighbours on sight. My parents thought they were the salt of the earth, my spirit just couldn't take to them.

My parents went to church and I stayed behind. I was having a coffee in the dining room and saw movement in my perriferal vision. The neighbours were picking the fruits from my parents trees. The cheeky cunts were flogging my parents their own fruits!!!

They thought I was just stirring because I didn't like them as no one would do that!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

My neighbour is lovely...she does have a coffee mug with cunt written on it

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By *ikerjohnMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"My old neighbour who lived opposite:

List of complaints:

1) I’m a single parent in private accommodation

2) my orange car is an eyesore

3) my car is too noisy

4) he can see in my kitchen in the mornings

5) a dandelion was growing on the path

6) my kids playing in the garden are too noisy

7) my rubbish bins aren’t facing the right way

8) I go to work too early in the morning & my car lights wake him up!

Thank god we now live in the middle of nowhere!!! "

Am I really the only one thoroughly perturbed by the dandelion? Thank god I don't have such inconsiderate neighbours

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By *urity555Man
over a year ago

south west

"My old neighbour who lived opposite:

List of complaints:

1) I’m a single parent in private accommodation

2) my orange car is an eyesore

3) my car is too noisy

4) he can see in my kitchen in the mornings

5) a dandelion was growing on the path

6) my kids playing in the garden are too noisy

7) my rubbish bins aren’t facing the right way

8) I go to work too early in the morning & my car lights wake him up!

Thank god we now live in the middle of nowhere!!!

You had your rubbish bins facing the wrong way. You utter bastards!!

I know how to live dangerously!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Moaning when the smoke from my chimney blew their way.

WTF do they expect me to do about that??!! My house was here 100 years before theirs."

Outrageous!

Seriously WHY the fuck do people get so wound up about stuff that is so bloody irrelevant?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My neighbours are all cunts except for the one I fancy and she’s a cow.... I hate them all ....(slopes off frothing at the mouth pencil and notebook in hand)

Not really, I love them all except for Steve....he’s a real prick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully I have new neighbours now and they seem lovely.

But the previous ones would party in their back garden until 3am and smoke near my bloody back door/window so my house would smell as nasty as them ffs

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By *ulip5567Woman
over a year ago

Swindon

A previous neighbour of mine once discarded a crispy dead rat outside my back door. (Not a euphemism)

He also threw cat biscuits all over my lawn. (Also not a euphemism)

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

We had an insane bitch living next door. She was a policewoman and that was the first thing she told everyone she came into contact with. We weren't impressed. I never once saw her blink. She fed the squirrells from the woods at the back of our houses by throwing handfulls of monkey nuts on her lawn. She didn't realise that almost all of them were being eaten by the rats that she was attracting by feeding wild animals in this method. She began hoovering at 9pm, though she had no carpets. She washed her bed linen daily. She sat in the kitchen from 6am to 10pm listening for noises coming from our house, such as childrens laughter or the noise of a knife cutting veg on a chopping board. she had blackout blinds put up in her bedroom, but apparently the lights from our conservatory were even brighter than the sun. She moved into a seperate bedroom from her boyfriend when she caught him masturbating (That was an entertaining argument!). She left when she found another womans hair in his bed. The one she didn't sleep in. He's quite friendly. So is his new girlfriend. Though he hasn't asked her to move in. His garden is starting to get a little overgrown in one corner. I think he might have used some sort of high intensity plant food there. Can't imagine what.

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By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

Our latest neighbours threw a strop when

* we had trees removed (after talking with them twice and showing which ones were coming down) saying we shouldn’t have moved to the area

* refused to hand back footballs the kids knocked over accidentally and would burst them

* said our kids broke their fence (it blew down in a storm)

* we have too many bbq’s

When he came over to tell me all this, I said they will play when they want to, talk when they want to, eat what they are given and he should remember what it was like being a kid.

Hasn’t spoken to me in 3 years. Yippee

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"Our latest neighbours threw a strop when

* we had trees removed (after talking with them twice and showing which ones were coming down) saying we shouldn’t have moved to the area

* refused to hand back footballs the kids knocked over accidentally and would burst them

* said our kids broke their fence (it blew down in a storm)

* we have too many bbq’s

When he came over to tell me all this, I said they will play when they want to, talk when they want to, eat what they are given and he should remember what it was like being a kid.

Hasn’t spoken to me in 3 years. Yippee

I take it the trees were in your garden?

Make sure you cook lamb on your barbecue. Its got a higher fat content and tends to make more smoke, just to piss him off. Plus it smells lovely and he won't be having any.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had neighbour problems. My favourites were the horses.

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