FabSwingers.com forum: Want to meet gay men but always chicken out.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi not sure if anyone has been through what I'm going through but I keep getting really horny about having fun with a gay/bi male, so I set up to meet a guy get all excited but chicken out right at the last second. I was supposed to meet a guy last night got all the way to his front door the bailed its so strange, anyone have any thoughts or why I'm doing this ? Xx

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London

Nerves, confusion, denial? Only you really know the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet for a social first rather than direct to someone’s house?

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

I was exactly like this the first time and still get much more nervous meeting a man now than a woman. Just make sure the guy you meet is relaxed and not expecting anything to happen. Meet for a social and a chat first and it’ll help.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

It took me a while to pluck up the courage to meet my first guy.

Like you, I got close and then paused.

Took myself to one side and had a word.

"Try anything once. If you like it, do it again. If you don't, don't."

I did, I liked it and I have never looked back.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Could be any number of things OP - uncertainty, guilt, nerves, fear of the unknown, even shame - only you can know whether it's what you truly want or if it's just something best kept as fantasy.

Another option rather than arranging a direct meet, where there is an expectation to play, would be arrange a social only meet with another guy, explain your nerves and uncertainty and that you just want to talk and go at your own pace - if they pressure you for more, they're not right for you anyway.

Or if you have any clubs near you that run bi nights, maybe consider going - again no pressure to play but puts you in a position where you can watch and maybe ease yourself into things if you want to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guy ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

?? Mental to be a thumbs up

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

"?? Mental to be a thumbs up

I’m not all that far from you really so if you want to meet up somewhere in the middle at some point and have a coffee and a chat about things I’m more than up for it. It was about 5 years of being on gaydar and chatting to guys before I finally managed to meet one about 15 years ago now and it was by arranging to meet at a McDonald’s and sit in one of our cars with a coffee and chat. Once I relaxed I asked him back to mine for a coffee and we spent a good couple hours chatting about all sorts of stuff. When it got close to being time for him to go he gave me a hug, asked if I wanted more and took my little smile and pause as a yes so kissed me. A few minutes later I had a cock in my mouth for the first time ever (and was soooo much better than I ever thought it could be) and another few minutes later had my stomach covered in cum. Was a wonderful introduction to it and he was not at all pushy. He even wanted to cum somewhere else away from me incase it made me feel uneasy. He was a fantastic first meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go to a gay club.

You will see the whole spectrum, if your shy about getting seen, get a hotel in a different town and go out.

The Manchester gay scene is really friendly.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Have a woman there as well to take the pressure of a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Expect your inbox to be filled with kind offers of help any time now

The gays do like the kudos / thrill of being a straight guys first

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere

"Expect your inbox to be filled with kind offers of help any time now

The gays do like the kudos / thrill of being a straight guys first "

Hence why I offered (although just a social and chat) on here instead

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

It’s probably the act itself that concerns you, I so agree with the advice you’re getting about a social first. Then there’s no pressure to do anything, it gives you both a chance to decide what you’re comfortable with and what you would like to try.

Kissing another man can often be the most difficult part, where having his penis in your mouth often isn’t. Oral can often feel less intimate than kissing each other.

If it’s a fantasy leave it at that, however if it’s a need then experiment if you don’t like it at least it’s out of your system then.

Good luck OP

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By *ykmwyldTV/TS
over a year ago

Belpre

I'm sure it's just that your nervous about being with a man intimately for the first time. You really should be careful and pick the right "gentleman" for your first experience. Don't be in a big hurry, be picky ! Once you experience the pleasure of being with a man, you'll always want it forever ; )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also dont discount fact that the Fantasy might be your thing and nothing else. I was the same as you, nervous, even went through with a few meets, Guys and TV/TS. What I realised was that the fantasy was my thing, not the actual meet. I still look at MM and TV/TS pictures on here but don’t meet anymore.

However, having said all of that, I have meet MF couple a were the Guy was bi and found that much more to my liking. Strange I know, but maybe, like me, MM meets aren’t for you.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Try meeting a m/f couple where the guy is bi. I was straight until I met a couple like that. Weird or what?

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By *enny hydeTV/TS
over a year ago

southampton

I’ve been the same the guilt of being married fear of sti’s met a ts Domme escort a few times a few years ago which only made me want more

But my bi urge is getting stronger but I don’t want to cheat

I’ve excepted I’m bi but get so paranoid about meeting,don’t know what to do ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for all the advice

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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago

nr Letterkenny

"Thank you for all the advice

Hang out in a gay bar for an evening and see how it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guaranteed you’re getting inundated by messages from men(some that are straight) offering to help lol. I had numerous offers years ago when I first wanted some advice about clubs.

I’d say do a social first and try some gay bars but go with no expectations accept to meet like minded people, fun may follow it may not but it will give you an idea of whether it’s just a fantasy or you really want some mm fun xx

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