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"The Conservative candidate for Mayor of London has said that the UK needs to get away from the idea that it is ‘acceptable’ to be a single mother. Shaun Bailey, 47, also wrote that inner city girls ‘deliberately become pregnant’ in order to secure houses and benefits from the British government in an unearthed 2006 article. ‘Any young girl living in the inner city will be clued up on how the system works,’ he wrote for the Telegraph. ‘They won’t be too careful about not becoming parents. In some cases, they will deliberately become pregnant – as they know that if they do, they will get a flat.’ He continued: ‘It is the same with benefits. These people are not stupid. If the state offers them money for doing something, they will do it. It is as simple as that.’ www.metro.co.uk/2018/10/08/single-mums-should-not-be-acceptable-says-tory-mayor-of-london-candidate-8017333/ . Does he have a point? " Yes, all true. Whoever he is has obviously got the balls to say it. I havn’t read the article but I’d love to know what he’d like to do about it. I’d disagree with the suggestion that being a single mum is wrong tho. Some relationships don’t work so it can’t be helped sometimes. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. " He made other comments about that very issue. He blamed the "boys" that walk away. (A man wouldn't walk away.) | |||
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"Seriously though, why are they single? " A lot arn't they just live separately to maximise benefits (well thats how they claim) which is sad but thats how the system works. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. " Exactly this! My husband (still married) has buggered off to live with his pregnant girlfriend, leaving a journey of 3 hrs between him & our son. I’m skint as, yet he has had 3 holidays so far this year..... | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. " 
Singling out women tells you everything about his attitude and values.
It is better for a child to grow up in a home filled with love by one parent than one filled with the hate of two sparring partners. | |||
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"The Conservative candidate for Mayor of London has said that the UK needs to get away from the idea that it is ‘acceptable’ to be a single mother. Shaun Bailey, 47, also wrote that inner city girls ‘deliberately become pregnant’ in order to secure houses and benefits from the British government in an unearthed 2006 article. ‘Any young girl living in the inner city will be clued up on how the system works,’ he wrote for the Telegraph. ‘They won’t be too careful about not becoming parents. In some cases, they will deliberately become pregnant – as they know that if they do, they will get a flat.’ He continued: ‘It is the same with benefits. These people are not stupid. If the state offers them money for doing something, they will do it. It is as simple as that.’ www.metro.co.uk/2018/10/08/single-mums-should-not-be-acceptable-says-tory-mayor-of-london-candidate-8017333/ . Does he have a point? Yes, all true. Whoever he is has obviously got the balls to say it. I havn’t read the article but I’d love to know what he’d like to do about it. I’d disagree with the suggestion that being a single mum is wrong tho. Some relationships don’t work so it can’t be helped sometimes." | |||
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"He’s made his point, so yes he has one. Do I think it has veracity? I think he’s touching upon complex topics and simplifying things down to a rather judgemental and not really accurate opinion, and certainly lacks empathy and totally bypasses system issues and policy/resource issues by boiling it down to individual choice failing to acknowledge it’s not necessarily through individual choice that people are in situations where (if it is a choice) they have these options. But bring on the opinions..." This is my view also. | |||
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"No... It is obviously not that simple and getting pregnant won't get you a flat...certainty not in London. Nita" Or up in Scotland | |||
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"Usual grandstanding using soundbites and generalisations to garner support from the angry mob of the Daily Fail brigade without actually delving into the detail of the actual issues behind the situation. What's your opinion though OP? Or this another of your pull the pin, throw the hand grenade and see which way it falls before deciding on an opinion threads? "I like discussion. I posted a link so people can read the news story for themselves. Is this against forum rules? | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility.
Singling out women tells you everything about his attitude and values.
It is better for a child to grow up in a home filled with love by one parent than one filled with the hate of two sparring partners."He wasn't singling out women in a bad way. Other comments he made were to empower women. I agree with your last sentence. | |||
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"Usual Tory bullshit " Excellent and thought provoking response | |||
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"Seriously though, why are they single? A lot arn't they just live separately to maximise benefits (well thats how they claim) which is sad but thats how the system works. " Agree., not heard about getting a flat, but they're excused from job searching and being shoved on a stupid course until it's 5yo i think. Some will get a brother or sister before 5yo. Some are genuine but there are some who deliberately play the system | |||
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"Usual grandstanding using soundbites and generalisations to garner support from the angry mob of the Daily Fail brigade without actually delving into the detail of the actual issues behind the situation. What's your opinion though OP? Or this another of your pull the pin, throw the hand grenade and see which way it falls before deciding on an opinion threads?
I like discussion. I posted a link so people can read the news story for themselves.
Is this against forum rules? "Not at all, and didn't suggest for a second it was - just interested in what your opinion is being as you posted it without one | |||
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"What does he think now? 12 years later" Good question. | |||
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" When I was 16 a friend got pregnant, both sets of future grandparents "persuaded" her and her boyfriend to marry and live in a caravan. I remember seeing the boy, he wasn't a man and the defeat on his face has stayed with me. This was enough to ensure that nobody in our friendship group became single parents. I think the guy has a point but I think he's over simplified." I think the news story was clickbait. Worded a certain way to make people be against him. I found the title interesting. I like your story, I wonder if that was his thoughts too. Single mums should not be acceptable- the men should be accountable because they were involved in the conception too, yet so often get away with no repercussions. | |||
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"I was a single mum who has worked my ass off to support my son. There was a stigma around when I had him as I was 19. I married his dad in a shot gun wedding when 7 months pregnant. I don't regret the pregnancy but the marriage was a huge mistake. My son is a well rounded guy who is intelligent and is predicted top results in his GCSEs not all single young mums are wasters "  | |||
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"There are people all over the country that work the system Some of them are single mums" And 95+% of people don't work any systems and just find themselves in unfortunate situations. For me it was typical tory broad-brushing from this guy wanting to be the next Boris. | |||
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"There are people all over the country that work the system Some of them are single mums And 95+% of people don't work any systems and just find themselves in unfortunate situations. For me it was typical tory broad-brushing from this guy wanting to be the next Boris." I'm with you on that | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. " They should be shamed. But if they're really an utter arsehole, surely most people would rather be a single parent than with someone like that. | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. " Today's society wants to be gender neutral. Reap what you sow.. | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. They should be shamed. But if they're really an utter arsehole, surely most people would rather be a single parent than with someone like that. " Which begs the question why women agree to mate with them in the first place. I was going to do a thread on arranged marriage, I'm starting to think that's the way forward. | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. Today's society wants to be gender neutral. Reap what you sow.." 4.3 billions years of evolution is going to be undone with the magic words "I identify as". Sure it is. | |||
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"Iv said it before il say it again this country is 3 or 4 laws short of demolition man world" It's a Jeremy Corbyn short of idiocracy. Good luck finding anyone on the Labour front bench that doesn't have a car wreck of a home life. | |||
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"I am not at all surprised to hear these views from a tory. But well done for spreading the word. From taking power the conservatives started to deliberately divide our nation,branding single mums, the unemployed and most despicable in my opinion even the disabled as draining money from the system. Now after years in power they wonder why there is so little respect and tolerance on our streets. The conservatives campaign was all about saving "Broken Britain" well it wasn't broken, but it is NOW ! XJX" Instead of worrying about who might be upset with the truth. Why not start your analysis with what's best for children and work back from there. | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. They should be shamed. But if they're really an utter arsehole, surely most people would rather be a single parent than with someone like that. Which begs the question why women agree to mate with them in the first place. I was going to do a thread on arranged marriage, I'm starting to think that's the way forward. " People change. Men often get jealous when babies arrive. Their ego takes a beating when a little person needs the woman's attention. | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. Today's society wants to be gender neutral. Reap what you sow.. 4.3 billions years of evolution is going to be undone with the magic words "I identify as". Sure it is. " For so long I’ve been wanting to find a way of saying exactly this . 64 different genders now , and before long , just one androgynous sex will exist . Let’s just hope there is a massive sperm bank to father the future of mankind , because we sure as hell won’t be capable of it . | |||
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"No... It is obviously not that simple and getting pregnant won't get you a flat...certainty not in London. Nita" 12 years ago it was probably a bit different | |||
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"There's no denying that a two parent family is better than a one parent one - that is indisputable in all but the most extreme cases. But to say single parent families are not acceptable is also broadbrushing the fact that they exist, and in some cases do very well - I'm the result of one, and had a Mum who fought tooth and nail to do all she could to bring my brother and I up the right way, and provide us with all she could, often missing out herself to do so. The article is, as I said earlier, typical Tory grandstanding, designed to appeal to the average Daily Fail reader with populist sound bites that are thrown in to garner votes without actually getting into the detail and issues at hand. Given the lack of social housing thanks to the housing stock being sold off cheaply it's no longer the case that someone getting deliberately pregnant will be handed a flat automatically anyway." Have just realised the article in question is 12 years old, which does away with the garnering votes thing but doesn't make his views any less broad brush IMHO | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. They should be shamed. But if they're really an utter arsehole, surely most people would rather be a single parent than with someone like that. Which begs the question why women agree to mate with them in the first place. I was going to do a thread on arranged marriage, I'm starting to think that's the way forward. People change. Men often get jealous when babies arrive. Their ego takes a beating when a little person needs the woman's attention." I imagine there's a lot of truth in that. I think that there are ways and means of testing out how committed a guy is though. The deadbeat dads I know aren't particularly impressive liars if you know what to ask. | |||
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"Wannabe mps often say what they think people want to hear, to get them to vote for him. " 12 years beforehand? Now that's outstanding planning  | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. " When I was a man it was me who took on the responsibility of my children. The first at 16 months. The second at 4 years. From talking to lots of men about it, quite a few felt they were the better parent and could offer a better environment but doubted the courts would give them the kids. Most people and the courts assume kids should be with their mothers. Even today the number of single parents who are male is less than 2%. | |||
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"It's nice to hear a conservative make some conservative comments for a change. There's overwhelming evidence that two parent families are superior for the raising of children. I wish people would stop that bullshit false dichotamy of one good parent vrs two shit ones - everyone needs to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's not such a leap to say then, that two parent families should be encouraged over single parent families. Absol-fucking-utely boys who walk away from their own kids are equally to blame. They should be fucking shamed. Stop praising deadbeat dads like Steve Jobs and Jude Law. Society needs to again pride in masculine values again. Today's society wants to be gender neutral. Reap what you sow.. 4.3 billions years of evolution is going to be undone with the magic words "I identify as". Sure it is. " Well, as a species we are managing to fuck up many other aspects of our existence on this planet. | |||
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"Back in the day they may well have got social housing, but they definitely don't any more. There is no social housing. If they are lucky they may get a hostel placement or a place in a mum and baby unit, but they really don't a flat." But it does place them on a lot higher on the waiting list. So if a way to get a flat a lot sooner in an area where they could never afford to live privately in there own flat. One could argue this (if it is a common as suggested) is systematic of a serve lack of affordable housing and prospects/confidence to do more with life. Children do give you far better aspects to state resourses when your on low income than being childless. Surely if women our going to such extreme measures to carve out a slightly better life the situation is grim in the first place. Maybe he should look at his parties wider handling of housing, social mobility and standards of living first? | |||
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"Back in the day they may well have got social housing, but they definitely don't any more. There is no social housing. If they are lucky they may get a hostel placement or a place in a mum and baby unit, but they really don't a flat. But it does place them on a lot higher on the waiting list. So if a way to get a flat a lot sooner in an area where they could never afford to live privately in there own flat. One could argue this (if it is a common as suggested) is systematic of a serve lack of affordable housing and prospects/confidence to do more with life. Children do give you far better aspects to state resourses when your on low income than being childless. Surely if women our going to such extreme measures to carve out a slightly better life the situation is grim in the first place. Maybe he should look at his parties wider handling of housing, social mobility and standards of living first?" Are you insane? Do something really useful for the betterment of individuals and society that earns no glamorous publicity or brownie points? This is politics for goodness sake! | |||
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"Are you insane? Do something really useful for the betterment of individuals and society that earns no glamorous publicity or brownie points? This is politics for goodness sake!" The problem with housing is it doesn't fit into a parliamentary 5 year term. If I said borrow 1 billion £ get councils to employ some builders with a 1 skilled to 2 trainee workers, who build houses that will last 100 years whilst teaching a generation of builders a trade, then use the rent to pay off the loan over 50 years. That is totally socialist left wing drivel... But these houses last 100 years, you have 75% + profit on the second 50 years, and all those skilled workers to maintain them or move on to new building projects, isn't that pure right wing drivel? But it doesn't benefit any current sitting MP so can't be done.  | |||
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"Anyway,nobody has picked up on my comment that the new acceptable norm for parents to child should be 3 parsnts to 1 child, would have thought a bunch of swingers would find that arrangement quite acceptable "Swinging and polyamory are seperate crowds, bit of overlap but not as much as you'd think | |||
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"Looking at an article that is 12 years old, suggests media interference i.e wanting the mayor of London to stay labour. However I would like to think most people's opinions change after 12 years. " I don't see why a conservative politician would change from these views. The language is a little provocative but that's how you get in the media these days. I understand some people don't like the conservative view point. But the left keep saying how wonderful it is to finally have a proper socialist in charge of the Labour party. Personally I'd like a proper conservative in charge of the conservative party. | |||
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"Anyway,nobody has picked up on my comment that the new acceptable norm for parents to child should be 3 parsnts to 1 child, would have thought a bunch of swingers would find that arrangement quite acceptable
Swinging and polyamory are seperate crowds, bit of overlap but not as much as you'd think "Well I know that, but wouldn't it be a great way to reduce population and fuck up 2000 years of conditioning | |||
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"Anyway,nobody has picked up on my comment that the new acceptable norm for parents to child should be 3 parsnts to 1 child, would have thought a bunch of swingers would find that arrangement quite acceptable "I thought most kids have at least 4 parents these days. The biological ones then step parents. | |||
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"Looking at an article that is 12 years old, suggests media interference i.e wanting the mayor of London to stay labour. However I would like to think most people's opinions change after 12 years. " Yeah I did think it odd that they were dredging up old news. He made other comments not just about housing. They skewed the reporting of what he said. | |||
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"Yes he makes some good points , and it’s interesting that he lays equal blame on the ‘boys’ who just walk away from the responsibility . I fully agree that the child is blameless , and every effort should be made to ensure their welfare . However , it’s fair to say that we are now a society that full accepts single mums as ‘normal’ , and maybe what he meant was that in the future there would be way more single mums as society would deem it as perfectly normal and acceptable . And it has , so I think he was right . "
Surely the world is overpopulated enough, something needs to be done to prevent the issue in the first place | |||
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"I was a single mum who has worked my ass off to support my son. There was a stigma around when I had him as I was 19. I married his dad in a shot gun wedding when 7 months pregnant. I don't regret the pregnancy but the marriage was a huge mistake. My son is a well rounded guy who is intelligent and is predicted top results in his GCSEs not all single young mums are wasters " | |||
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"I’m a single mum.... I didn’t choose to be and their dad has walked away without a second thought and no contact for 2 years. Never had a penny of him either. Yet he can take me to court but I can’t take him? He walks away without a care in the world, holidays, new cars you name it. The whole system is wrong! Make useless sperm donors pay for the children they created and the government wouldn’t have to pick up the mess they left behind "From a conservative perspective, the main objection is the pretence that the optimal enviornment is not a high quality feminine role model and a high quality masculine role model. It's not about automatically demonising single mothers or saying most aren't doing their best either. Men who don't provide for their children should be demonised, there's no excuse for it. If we agree what the ideal is, then it's logical to talk about mitigation strategies for the plan B scenario, which will happen. What pisses me off are people who think a single parent family is an acceptable plan A. It's counter factual and I say this as someone raised in a single parent family by a 10/10 mother. But the hard truth is that a 10/10 single mother is about on par with a 7/10 husband and wife. | |||
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"I’m a single mum.... I didn’t choose to be and their dad has walked away without a second thought and no contact for 2 years. Never had a penny of him either. Yet he can take me to court but I can’t take him? He walks away without a care in the world, holidays, new cars you name it. The whole system is wrong! Make useless sperm donors pay for the children they created and the government wouldn’t have to pick up the mess they left behind
From a conservative perspective, the main objection is the pretence that the optimal enviornment is not a high quality feminine role model and a high quality masculine role model. It's not about automatically demonising single mothers or saying most aren't doing their best either. Men who don't provide for their children should be demonised, there's no excuse for it. If we agree what the ideal is, then it's logical to talk about mitigation strategies for the plan B scenario, which will happen. What pisses me off are people who think a single parent family is an acceptable plan A. It's counter factual and I say this as someone raised in a single parent family by a 10/10 mother. But the hard truth is that a 10/10 single mother is about on par with a 7/10 husband and wife. "How does that tally up households in the military or working on an oil rig where one of the parents can be away for months at a time? | |||
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"I’m a single mum.... I didn’t choose to be and their dad has walked away without a second thought and no contact for 2 years. Never had a penny of him either. Yet he can take me to court but I can’t take him? He walks away without a care in the world, holidays, new cars you name it. The whole system is wrong! Make useless sperm donors pay for the children they created and the government wouldn’t have to pick up the mess they left behind
From a conservative perspective, the main objection is the pretence that the optimal enviornment is not a high quality feminine role model and a high quality masculine role model. It's not about automatically demonising single mothers or saying most aren't doing their best either. Men who don't provide for their children should be demonised, there's no excuse for it. If we agree what the ideal is, then it's logical to talk about mitigation strategies for the plan B scenario, which will happen. What pisses me off are people who think a single parent family is an acceptable plan A. It's counter factual and I say this as someone raised in a single parent family by a 10/10 mother. But the hard truth is that a 10/10 single mother is about on par with a 7/10 husband and wife.
How does that tally up households in the military or working on an oil rig where one of the parents can be away for months at a time?"That doesn't really seem like a genuine question. Just a typical attempt to find some extreme that intutaively appears to be the exception to the rule that would then be used as a pretence that the rule is invalid. The data is overwhelmingly clear on this issue. A lot of the problems are caused by the breakup of the husband and wife itself, which is one of several reasons why your example is non sequitur. | |||
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"As a single dad, I knew I had short comings, did my best, money was not a problem swapped my job for a managerial post with regular time and location which hit the budget a bit but was manageable. Mortgage was paid off on their mother's life insurance, so technically she was still contributing financially. And I used female friends to take my daughter clothes shopping, and be a part of her life so she got some female input. My son less so, but he got some. Wasn't ideal never can be. It takes multi person input to raise kids right. If you find yourself a single parent then you have to figure out ways of getting other non school input for them. It is not impossible to be a great single parent. Often better than the defined 2 parent families, around you. But that is not what the subject is about, it is about young women using children to gain state benefit advantages real or perceived. That should stop. I don't know how, education on the reality may help, but any child conceived needs financial and emotional support for life, and that must be a joint responsibility CSA idea wasn't wrong, but the implementation was probably flawed. " The majority of single mothers are not teens. | |||
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"The majority of single mothers are not teens." And as such are probably not the demographic Shaun Bailey was attacking 12 years ago. | |||
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"As a single dad, I knew I had short comings, did my best, money was not a problem swapped my job for a managerial post with regular time and location which hit the budget a bit but was manageable. Mortgage was paid off on their mother's life insurance, so technically she was still contributing financially. And I used female friends to take my daughter clothes shopping, and be a part of her life so she got some female input. My son less so, but he got some. Wasn't ideal never can be. It takes multi person input to raise kids right. If you find yourself a single parent then you have to figure out ways of getting other non school input for them. It is not impossible to be a great single parent. Often better than the defined 2 parent families, around you. But that is not what the subject is about, it is about young women using children to gain state benefit advantages real or perceived. That should stop. I don't know how, education on the reality may help, but any child conceived needs financial and emotional support for life, and that must be a joint responsibility CSA idea wasn't wrong, but the implementation was probably flawed. The majority of single mothers are not teens." Despite what the daily mail would have you believe, the under 18 conception rate peaked in the 1970's and is less than half that today if you account for the change in population size. | |||
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"The majority of single mothers are not teens. And as such are probably not the demographic Shaun Bailey was attacking 12 years ago." I haven't read what he said, I was under the impression it was about teenagers getting pregnant to get council accommodation. | |||
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"The majority of single mothers are not teens. And as such are probably not the demographic Shaun Bailey was attacking 12 years ago. I haven't read what he said, I was under the impression it was about teenagers getting pregnant to get council accommodation. " When he says girl I don't immediately think of someone over 20. | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. " Put them on the streets, that will show them. | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. Put them on the streets, that will show them." Or sterilise poor people and make them live in shanty towns outside cities, as they will never be able to afford to buy or rent privately. | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. Put them on the streets, that will show them. Or sterilise poor people and make them live in shanty towns outside cities, as they will never be able to afford to buy or rent privately. " But you do understand why people like Marie Buchan piss people off when they have 8 kids and then force the government to pay for them? The majority of the population actually self limit their children (i.e. have less than they really want) for financial reasons. | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. " Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. " Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. He made other comments about that very issue. He blamed the "boys" that walk away. (A man wouldn't walk away.)" 100% agree. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact." Not following your logic there seaside. I agree that there are parenting issues biased against men. By don't see why that would reduce the male responsibility for raising kids? I can see that it makes it harder to fulfill your obligations, but not that it reduces them. | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. " Benefits are capped at 2 children now so if you have a 3rd or 4th you won’t receive any benefit for them. I lived in private accommodation from 17 until 24. I’m now in a council house, looking for work but I don’t drive yet I live 20 minutes from the city but no one will accommodate the hours I can do when there’s always someone who can do more. I can’t work weekends and childcare is through the roof, 2 childminders in my area who pick up from the schools. Infuriates me when people think the dole is the easy option because believe me it’s not. | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. Put them on the streets, that will show them." no just send them back to there parents o wait there probably single anyway ?? | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. Put them on the streets, that will show them. Or sterilise poor people and make them live in shanty towns outside cities, as they will never be able to afford to buy or rent privately. But you do understand why people like Marie Buchan piss people off when they have 8 kids and then force the government to pay for them? The majority of the population actually self limit their children (i.e. have less than they really want) for financial reasons. " she’s actually a nice girl and the kids have all the same dad which is rare and she went to college and was/is looking for employment,but how can you find a babysitter for so many kids while you work? It’s literally impossible and yeah I totally understand and agree don’t have them unless you can support them yourselves through your wages | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact." A man knows unprotected sex could lead to a baby, if he didn’t want one then he should have used a condom! | |||
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"Totally correct it's about time we stopped benefits after one child and more and your on your own to support them same as housing 5 yrs and have to reapply to stop there if not worked and able to then out and no been able to claim for private lettings. Put them on the streets, that will show them. Or sterilise poor people and make them live in shanty towns outside cities, as they will never be able to afford to buy or rent privately. But you do understand why people like Marie Buchan piss people off when they have 8 kids and then force the government to pay for them? The majority of the population actually self limit their children (i.e. have less than they really want) for financial reasons. she’s actually a nice girl and the kids have all the same dad which is rare and she went to college and was/is looking for employment,but how can you find a babysitter for so many kids while you work? It’s literally impossible and yeah I totally understand and agree don’t have them unless you can support them yourselves through your wages "Not my definition of a nice girl. I've seen interviews with her where she displays no concept of personal responsibility, essentially blamed the government for funding her and oh yeah... kept a horse with the spare change. There's a generally agreed principle that one should act in a way that has some kind of correspondence with a universalizability principle. Naturally she fails on that principle. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. A man knows unprotected sex could lead to a baby, if he didn’t want one then he should have used a condom! " Totally agreed and the female should insist he covers up too,it works both ways. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. A man knows unprotected sex could lead to a baby, if he didn’t want one then he should have used a condom! Totally agreed and the female should insist he covers up too,it works both ways." Or he could just pull out... | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. A man knows unprotected sex could lead to a baby, if he didn’t want one then he should have used a condom! Totally agreed and the female should insist he covers up too,it works both ways. Or he could just pull out... " Nooo my auntie and sister both got caught out with that one! I have been on the pill 11 years and use condoms. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. Not following your logic there seaside. I agree that there are parenting issues biased against men. By don't see why that would reduce the male responsibility for raising kids? I can see that it makes it harder to fulfill your obligations, but not that it reduces them. " It's on the baces that sum guys dont no about it or leve before the baby is even born. Eg ... A woman has a 1 night stand. The guy don't even no about the baby. Or A couple split then the woman finds she's pregnant. On thos note its then the woman's choice to keep it or not. And that's wot this guy is on about. Ladies are going out for 1 night stands ect just to get pregnant so thay can clame benefits as a single mum. Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. A man knows unprotected sex could lead to a baby, if he didn’t want one then he should have used a condom! Totally agreed and the female should insist he covers up too,it works both ways. Or he could just pull out... " isn’t worth the risk  | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. A man knows unprotected sex could lead to a baby, if he didn’t want one then he should have used a condom! Totally agreed and the female should insist he covers up too,it works both ways. Or he could just pull out... Nooo my auntie and sister both got caught out with that one! I have been on the pill 11 years and use condoms." The majority of pre-cum has no live sperm all. In the rare cases it does, the proportion is tiny. The probability you know two people who got pregnant off pre-cum is like the probability of me getting struck by lightning in a given year. Far more likely is that the guys just weren't good at pulling out on time and left some squirts in there. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. Not following your logic there seaside. I agree that there are parenting issues biased against men. By don't see why that would reduce the male responsibility for raising kids? I can see that it makes it harder to fulfill your obligations, but not that it reduces them. It's on the baces that sum guys dont no about it or leve before the baby is even born. Eg ... A woman has a 1 night stand. The guy don't even no about the baby. Or A couple split then the woman finds she's pregnant. On thos note its then the woman's choice to keep it or not. And that's wot this guy is on about. Ladies are going out for 1 night stands ect just to get pregnant so thay can clame benefits as a single mum. Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place." Were never going to agree on that. Your DNA doesn't magically get into kids by itself. Do I feel sorry for guys who were tricked into getting pregnant - yes. Does it absolve them of their responsibility to the child - not at all. Your genes, your problem. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. Not following your logic there seaside. I agree that there are parenting issues biased against men. By don't see why that would reduce the male responsibility for raising kids? I can see that it makes it harder to fulfill your obligations, but not that it reduces them. It's on the baces that sum guys dont no about it or leve before the baby is even born. Eg ... A woman has a 1 night stand. The guy don't even no about the baby. Or A couple split then the woman finds she's pregnant. On thos note its then the woman's choice to keep it or not. And that's wot this guy is on about. Ladies are going out for 1 night stands ect just to get pregnant so thay can clame benefits as a single mum. Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place." Every guy knows when puts his dick in a woman he runs the risk of creating a pregnancy | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. Not following your logic there seaside. I agree that there are parenting issues biased against men. By don't see why that would reduce the male responsibility for raising kids? I can see that it makes it harder to fulfill your obligations, but not that it reduces them. It's on the baces that sum guys dont no about it or leve before the baby is even born. Eg ... A woman has a 1 night stand. The guy don't even no about the baby. Or A couple split then the woman finds she's pregnant. On thos note its then the woman's choice to keep it or not. And that's wot this guy is on about. Ladies are going out for 1 night stands ect just to get pregnant so thay can clame benefits as a single mum. Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place." Where's the evidence of this? | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. Probably not. Possibly the same resoun that a guy has no say in if the ladey keeps the baby or gets rid of it. Even if the guy wants it and the fact its Thar kid too. a guy gets no say in if its keped or not. True fact. Not following your logic there seaside. I agree that there are parenting issues biased against men. By don't see why that would reduce the male responsibility for raising kids? I can see that it makes it harder to fulfill your obligations, but not that it reduces them. It's on the baces that sum guys dont no about it or leve before the baby is even born. Eg ... A woman has a 1 night stand. The guy don't even no about the baby. Or A couple split then the woman finds she's pregnant. On thos note its then the woman's choice to keep it or not. And that's wot this guy is on about. Ladies are going out for 1 night stands ect just to get pregnant so thay can clame benefits as a single mum. Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. Were never going to agree on that. Your DNA doesn't magically get into kids by itself. Do I feel sorry for guys who were tricked into getting pregnant - yes. Does it absolve them of their responsibility to the child - not at all. Your genes, your problem." We'll its not my problem as i don't have any kids lol wish i did thow. | |||
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"Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place." Sorry Seeside, but no. The guy inserted the semen, and created a life that he is at the very least financially responsible for. If guys were hunted down and given bills for 90% of the cost of a child for 18 years, they would become a lot more cautious about using condoms. Why 90%? Because I am assuming they are going to skimp on the time requirement, would allow up to 40% discount if they agree to cover the labour as well as costs. Carrying or not carrying a pregnancy has nothing to do with men, it's not their body. | |||
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"We'll its not my problem as i don't have any kids lol" None you know about anyway | |||
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"Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. Sorry Seeside, but no. The guy inserted the semen, and created a life that he is at the very least financially responsible for. If guys were hunted down and given bills for 90% of the cost of a child for 18 years, they would become a lot more cautious about using condoms. Why 90%? Because I am assuming they are going to skimp on the time requirement, would allow up to 40% discount if they agree to cover the labour as well as costs. Carrying or not carrying a pregnancy has nothing to do with men, it's not their body." When does a father not also an obligation for non-financial parental investment? I can think of one exception which would be a legitimate sperm donor. | |||
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"We'll its not my problem as i don't have any kids lol None you know about anyway "Lol I'm still a virgin. So How can i have kids i don't no about ?  | |||
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"Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. Sorry Seeside, but no. The guy inserted the semen, and created a life that he is at the very least financially responsible for. If guys were hunted down and given bills for 90% of the cost of a child for 18 years, they would become a lot more cautious about using condoms. Why 90%? Because I am assuming they are going to skimp on the time requirement, would allow up to 40% discount if they agree to cover the labour as well as costs. Carrying or not carrying a pregnancy has nothing to do with men, it's not their body. When does a father not also an obligation for non-financial parental investment? I can think of one exception which would be a legitimate sperm donor. " Yes and if a guy is tricked in to making a baby. As in the woman has a 1 night stand and ses she's on the pill wen she's not just so she can get pregnant. Then the guy is nuthing mor than a sperm donor. Thar for no responsibility. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one." 
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be. "How can you tell? | |||
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"Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. Sorry Seeside, but no. The guy inserted the semen, and created a life that he is at the very least financially responsible for. If guys were hunted down and given bills for 90% of the cost of a child for 18 years, they would become a lot more cautious about using condoms. Why 90%? Because I am assuming they are going to skimp on the time requirement, would allow up to 40% discount if they agree to cover the labour as well as costs. Carrying or not carrying a pregnancy has nothing to do with men, it's not their body. When does a father not also an obligation for non-financial parental investment? I can think of one exception which would be a legitimate sperm donor. " I did say at least financial. But there are many men and women that should not be involved with the rearing of their children. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be. "How? | |||
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"Yes and if a guy is tricked in to making a baby. As in the woman has a 1 night stand and ses she's on the pill wen she's not just so she can get pregnant. Then the guy is nuthing mor than a sperm donor. Thar for no responsibility." Doesn't matter what she says or what she claims the ultimate responsibility for shoving your spaff in her resides with you! | |||
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"Yes and if a guy is tricked in to making a baby. As in the woman has a 1 night stand and ses she's on the pill wen she's not just so she can get pregnant. Then the guy is nuthing mor than a sperm donor. Thar for no responsibility." Still his responsibility, he had the option to use a condom or the snip as well as believe the pill would work. | |||
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"Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. Sorry Seeside, but no. The guy inserted the semen, and created a life that he is at the very least financially responsible for. If guys were hunted down and given bills for 90% of the cost of a child for 18 years, they would become a lot more cautious about using condoms. Why 90%? Because I am assuming they are going to skimp on the time requirement, would allow up to 40% discount if they agree to cover the labour as well as costs. Carrying or not carrying a pregnancy has nothing to do with men, it's not their body. When does a father not also an obligation for non-financial parental investment? I can think of one exception which would be a legitimate sperm donor. Yes and if a guy is tricked in to making a baby. As in the woman has a 1 night stand and ses she's on the pill wen she's not just so she can get pregnant. Then the guy is nuthing mor than a sperm donor. Thar for no responsibility." Bollucks | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?"There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?"Tracksuit bottoms are a give away | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances. "Gossip? | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances.
Gossip?"Daughter called Frogmella, son called Kenue | |||
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"Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. Sorry Seeside, but no. The guy inserted the semen, and created a life that he is at the very least financially responsible for. If guys were hunted down and given bills for 90% of the cost of a child for 18 years, they would become a lot more cautious about using condoms. Why 90%? Because I am assuming they are going to skimp on the time requirement, would allow up to 40% discount if they agree to cover the labour as well as costs. Carrying or not carrying a pregnancy has nothing to do with men, it's not their body. When does a father not also an obligation for non-financial parental investment? I can think of one exception which would be a legitimate sperm donor. Yes and if a guy is tricked in to making a baby. As in the woman has a 1 night stand and ses she's on the pill wen she's not just so she can get pregnant. Then the guy is nuthing mor than a sperm donor. Thar for no responsibility. Bollucks " I'm not looking for a argument. So let's just agree to disagree. | |||
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"He’s made his point, so yes he has one. Do I think it has veracity? I think he’s touching upon complex topics and simplifying things down to a rather judgemental and not really accurate opinion, and certainly lacks empathy and totally bypasses system issues and policy/resource issues by boiling it down to individual choice failing to acknowledge it’s not necessarily through individual choice that people are in situations where (if it is a choice) they have these options. But bring on the opinions..." Are you a politician ?? | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances.
Gossip?"Girl gets married/ lives with partner,they have a couple of kids, he sods off and leaves her-single mum not her fault Girl leaves school,pregnant by some guy she met in a pub,then has 3 more by guys that are not around. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
Tracksuit bottoms are a give away "Leave my tracksuit bottoms out of this!!! If I tuck them into my socks would that make it better? | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
Tracksuit bottoms are a give away
Leave my tracksuit bottoms out of this!!! If I tuck them into my socks would that make it better? "Apologies mistress. I hadn't read the profile before I posted that. I know better for the future. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances.
Gossip?
Girl gets married/ lives with partner,they have a couple of kids, he sods off and leaves her-single mum not her fault
Girl leaves school,pregnant by some guy she met in a pub,then has 3 more by guys that are not around. "I had my first daughter at 15, still went to college etc left home at 17 due to violence. Met my 2nd daughters dad at 18, had planned baby at 21, he then left me at 8 months pregnant for another girl. At no point was I married and I was left with 2 children on my own. Am I playing the system? No I had a child thinking I was going to have a secure family. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
Tracksuit bottoms are a give away
Leave my tracksuit bottoms out of this!!! If I tuck them into my socks would that make it better?
Apologies mistress. I hadn't read the profile before I posted that. I know better for the future. "It’s ok, I’ll let you off this time. Next time you’re over my knee! | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances.
Gossip?
Girl gets married/ lives with partner,they have a couple of kids, he sods off and leaves her-single mum not her fault
Girl leaves school,pregnant by some guy she met in a pub,then has 3 more by guys that are not around.
I had my first daughter at 15, still went to college etc left home at 17 due to violence. Met my 2nd daughters dad at 18, had planned baby at 21, he then left me at 8 months pregnant for another girl. At no point was I married and I was left with 2 children on my own. Am I playing the system? No I had a child thinking I was going to have a secure family."As I said- you were 'left' not your fault. | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. I split with my boys mother. We shared him on a 8 day pattern. I'd have him 4 days and 3 nights. Ended going to court to get the extra night. The CSA got involved, what a disgusting organisation. And now the financial split of the money, she is claiming a 70/30. So a father is dammed if he stays and wants to be part of the child's life and damed if he doesn't want a part of it. " | |||
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"Why is it that men are jointly responsible for making a child yet they can walk away and it’s the women that get stigmatised and run down for being single mums. Do men not hold the same responsibility. I split with my boys mother. We shared him on a 8 day pattern. I'd have him 4 days and 3 nights. Ended going to court to get the extra night. The CSA got involved, what a disgusting organisation. And now the financial split of the money, she is claiming a 70/30. So a father is dammed if he stays and wants to be part of the child's life and damed if he doesn't want a part of it. " How is that "damned if he stays"? One day the boy will think for himself about these matters and will ask his own questions about what happened. Being able to look him in the eye with an answer you're proud of, is worth being ripped off for. | |||
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"Unfortunately it's damed because it seems that the male will get royalty fucked over in a financial sense if he stays around or disappears " So what? I dated a single mum for a couple of years. Paid for thousands of pounds of stuff that his dad should have. His dad did pay, but only the minimum he had to. He'll have to explain that one day and good luck with that conversation. I've never considered it money wasted. I don't see how money invested in your own offspring can be wasted. | |||
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"Unfortunately it's damed because it seems that the male will get royalty fucked over in a financial sense if he stays around or disappears " You think fathers shouldn't have to pay for their children's upbringing? | |||
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"Unfortunately it's damed because it seems that the male will get royalty fucked over in a financial sense if he stays around or disappears So what? I dated a single mum for a couple of years. Paid for thousands of pounds of stuff that his dad should have. His dad did pay, but only the minimum he had to. He'll have to explain that one day and good luck with that conversation. I've never considered it money wasted. I don't see how money invested in your own offspring can be wasted. " They forget it's for the child and think the mother is having a ball with their money. | |||
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"Unfortunately it's damed because it seems that the male will get royalty fucked over in a financial sense if he stays around or disappears So what? I dated a single mum for a couple of years. Paid for thousands of pounds of stuff that his dad should have. His dad did pay, but only the minimum he had to. He'll have to explain that one day and good luck with that conversation. I've never considered it money wasted. I don't see how money invested in your own offspring can be wasted. They forget it's for the child and think the mother is having a ball with their money. " Maybe she is, just think of it as a 'I fucked up tax'. Keep bank statements as proof of what was given. One day the boy will ask. I don't see how you can put a price on having the moral high ground in that conversation. | |||
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"Unfortunately it's damed because it seems that the male will get royalty fucked over in a financial sense if he stays around or disappears So what? I dated a single mum for a couple of years. Paid for thousands of pounds of stuff that his dad should have. His dad did pay, but only the minimum he had to. He'll have to explain that one day and good luck with that conversation. I've never considered it money wasted. I don't see how money invested in your own offspring can be wasted. They forget it's for the child and think the mother is having a ball with their money. Maybe she is, just think of it as a 'I fucked up tax'. Keep bank statements as proof of what was given. One day the boy will ask. I don't see how you can put a price on having the moral high ground in that conversation. " He would have to be paying a hell of a lot for that to happen (assuming she's feeding and clothing her children, paying for after school activities and taking them on days out etc) it's bank breaking having children. | |||
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"You may have missed the point, we have a 50/50 custody. Yet his mother will get considerable more than me in the split of the money from the house sale and the CSA still want £63 per week. Apparently leaving to struggle financially to bring my son up is perfectly acceptable. " No I haven't missed the point. I'm saying that one day she'll have to explain to your son why she was a cunt and you won't. Don't you see some value in that? | |||
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"You may have missed the point, we have a 50/50 custody. Yet his mother will get considerable more than me in the split of the money from the house sale and the CSA still want £63 per week. Apparently leaving to struggle financially to bring my son up is perfectly acceptable. " You have custody of your son? | |||
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"Hid only point is that he's a rabid bigot. People should be free to be single or in a relationship, with or without children ! A right. Perhaps he'd like eugenics, with people different to him sterilised or remaining in abusive relationships. It's a sexist perspective that reeks of intolerance and helps to explain why many are so angry with the entitled establishment who will force others to suffer, to prevent them getting a tiny fraction of the benefits they have from keeping their snout in the trough. " Do the kids ever get considered in far left ideology?  | |||
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"Seriously though, why are they single? " I'm a lone parent as my daughter's dad thought it was an ace birthday present to himself to leave when she was 6 months old. I'm single as I put my daughter first, i' d love to be with someone but it's a big ask of them to take on another's child - even though i bet (whoever they are) they'd be a better role model than daddy. | |||
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"You may have missed the point, we have a 50/50 custody. Yet his mother will get considerable more than me in the split of the money from the house sale and the CSA still want £63 per week. Apparently leaving to struggle financially to bring my son up is perfectly acceptable. You have custody of your son? It's a 50/50 custody 4 days/nights each. He's here now trying to be his favourite wwe wrestler!!! " | |||
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"Except in the event of death, what are the reasons for being single mums (or dads)? Presumably failure to select the right partner and failing to make an effort to sustain the relationship are account for the huge majority. I mean not to apportion blame, but to understand the reasons, to but the stigma and reduce the ‘woe is me’..." Yes it is completely my fault that he was a narcissist and an abuser. That he lied and lied to everyone around him. It's completely my fault that I chose to leave after he got physical with me in front of our child. I should have just made more of an effort.... For. Fucks. Sake. | |||
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"Except in the event of death, what are the reasons for being single mums (or dads)? Presumably failure to select the right partner and failing to make an effort to sustain the relationship are account for the huge majority. I mean not to apportion blame, but to understand the reasons, to but the stigma and reduce the ‘woe is me’... Yes it is completely my fault that he was a narcissist and an abuser. That he lied and lied to everyone around him. It's completely my fault that I chose to leave after he got physical with me in front of our child. I should have just made more of an effort.... For. Fucks. Sake. " Terribly sorry to hear that. Perhaps he was just the wrong person | |||
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"Except in the event of death, what are the reasons for being single mums (or dads)? Presumably failure to select the right partner and failing to make an effort to sustain the relationship are account for the huge majority. I mean not to apportion blame, but to understand the reasons, to but the stigma and reduce the ‘woe is me’... Yes it is completely my fault that he was a narcissist and an abuser. That he lied and lied to everyone around him. It's completely my fault that I chose to leave after he got physical with me in front of our child. I should have just made more of an effort.... For. Fucks. Sake. " Took the words right out of my mouth.... | |||
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"Except in the event of death, what are the reasons for being single mums (or dads)? Presumably failure to select the right partner and failing to make an effort to sustain the relationship are account for the huge majority. I mean not to apportion blame, but to understand the reasons, to but the stigma and reduce the ‘woe is me’... Yes it is completely my fault that he was a narcissist and an abuser. That he lied and lied to everyone around him. It's completely my fault that I chose to leave after he got physical with me in front of our child. I should have just made more of an effort.... For. Fucks. Sake. Terribly sorry to hear that. Perhaps he was just the wrong person " No shit Sherlock. But narcissists have a way of manipulating people. It's kind of their MO. | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’?" I'll 100% take responsibility for leaving him and not allowing my child to grow up in a toxic and violent household. I have ZERO shame for that. | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’?" He left me because he couldn’t handle responsibility, I tried for 5 years to make him step up and be a parent. If that’s my fault I’ll take the blame | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’?" Anyone prepared to stand up and say you, Sir are a fucking prick or have I missed something in your judgemental diatribe? | |||
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"Sorry to hear he was up for the responsibility of being a father/parent. But in my case when I try to do the best by my boy, I can't see how it's fair to be penalised so much with money. " Iv never had a penny and csa are bollocks! If it’s on record you have 50/50 custody get onto csa to review the case. | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’? Anyone prepared to stand up and say you, Sir are a fucking prick or have I missed something in your judgemental diatribe?" I like you! | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’? Anyone prepared to stand up and say you, Sir are a fucking prick or have I missed something in your judgemental diatribe?" I asked for other reasons. Nobody has given any. So far the only posters have been the ‘picked the wrong partner’ category. If there’s other reasons tell the forum. It’s hardly judgemental to ask for information, particularly in response to a quote that made up the OP. Perhaps that’s what you missed. Otherwise you seem lovely, and of course I have no idea of your own personal situation. | |||
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"Sorry to hear he was up for the responsibility of being a father/parent. But in my case when I try to do the best by my boy, I can't see how it's fair to be penalised so much with money. Iv never had a penny and csa are bollocks! If it’s on record you have 50/50 custody get onto csa to review the case." A court order gave 50/50, but this shower of shite keep on wanking on about primary carer!!?? I'm in a big fight with them at the moment and their answer is to contact my MP!! | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’? Anyone prepared to stand up and say you, Sir are a fucking prick or have I missed something in your judgemental diatribe?" | |||
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"I didn’t plan to be a lone parent but it was the best thing that ever happened. Having two parents isn’t always the best option when it’s a toxic environment for a child to be around. I never claimed benefits, I worked bloody hard and never felt I sacrificed anything to ensure my son never went without. Not once did I bad mouth his father who simply walked away and forgot he had a child. No contact. no money. He has grown to be a lovely adult and a gentleman. The assumption that lone parents are the scourge of the nation is outdated and offensive. Right I need a gin" It's so simple to reduce it down to someone 'picked the wrong partner'. It makes it sound like picking up the wrong brand of teabags.... You don't need to justify anything. But damn, your reply in on point x | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’? Anyone prepared to stand up and say you, Sir are a fucking prick or have I missed something in your judgemental diatribe? I like you! " Thank you sweet xxxx | |||
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"Under that a guy has no responsibility at all cos thay don't no about the baby in the 1st place. Sorry Seeside, but no. The guy inserted the semen, and created a life that he is at the very least financially responsible for. If guys were hunted down and given bills for 90% of the cost of a child for 18 years, they would become a lot more cautious about using condoms. Why 90%? Because I am assuming they are going to skimp on the time requirement, would allow up to 40% discount if they agree to cover the labour as well as costs. Carrying or not carrying a pregnancy has nothing to do with men, it's not their body." Great idea!! | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’? I'll 100% take responsibility for leaving him and not allowing my child to grow up in a toxic and violent household. I have ZERO shame for that." | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances.
Gossip?
Girl gets married/ lives with partner,they have a couple of kids, he sods off and leaves her-single mum not her fault
Girl leaves school,pregnant by some guy she met in a pub,then has 3 more by guys that are not around.
I had my first daughter at 15, still went to college etc left home at 17 due to violence. Met my 2nd daughters dad at 18, had planned baby at 21, he then left me at 8 months pregnant for another girl. At no point was I married and I was left with 2 children on my own. Am I playing the system? No I had a child thinking I was going to have a secure family.
As I said- you were 'left' not your fault."Disagree...to a degree. A minor getting pregnant is the fault of the parents. An adult getting pregnant without support is poor judgement. If a man can't commit to you, why assume he'll hang around for a crying baby. Telling people their poor life choices is not their fault burdens us all. We have to take responsibility for our actions and not expect others to carry the can for our poor choices: and I'm including myself in that...difference is I've never claimed a penny from the state. | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’? Anyone prepared to stand up and say you, Sir are a fucking prick or have I missed something in your judgemental diatribe?" Mature response! Look around: no one takes responsibility for their actions any more, it's always someone else's fault. I remember my gp asking if I knew why I put on weight. I said of course, I love to eat don't like to move. She looked at me in shock. She said in 15 years of asking that question I was the first person to say that. We're human, we make poor choices, if we're honest the clues are there we just get wise after the fact. | |||
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"Don't about London or if it still happens now but where I grew up pregnant/single mums who's parents had "disowned" definitely got council flats and I remember two who deliberately do so to get one.
This used to be the case round here too. Some women end up being single mums through no fault of their own-they shouldn't be penalised .
The ones playing the system should be.
How can you tell?
There's ways and means of finding out people's circumstances.
Gossip?
Girl gets married/ lives with partner,they have a couple of kids, he sods off and leaves her-single mum not her fault
Girl leaves school,pregnant by some guy she met in a pub,then has 3 more by guys that are not around.
I had my first daughter at 15, still went to college etc left home at 17 due to violence. Met my 2nd daughters dad at 18, had planned baby at 21, he then left me at 8 months pregnant for another girl. At no point was I married and I was left with 2 children on my own. Am I playing the system? No I had a child thinking I was going to have a secure family.
As I said- you were 'left' not your fault.
Disagree...to a degree.
A minor getting pregnant is the fault of the parents. An adult getting pregnant without support is poor judgement. If a man can't commit to you, why assume he'll hang around for a crying baby.
Telling people their poor life choices is not their fault burdens us all. We have to take responsibility for our actions and not expect others to carry the can for our poor choices: and I'm including myself in that...difference is I've never claimed a penny from the state."I was scoffed at in another thread for suggesting the people should actually research trends in breakups and risk factors to avoid. For example, women should avoid men low in conscientiousness and men should avoid women high in neuroticism to reduce the risk of irreconcilable differences. Most people put more research into their mortgage product than they do their life partner. | |||
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"Anyone prepared to say ‘I’m a single parent ad I take some responsibility for that..’? Anyone prepared to stand up and say you, Sir are a fucking prick or have I missed something in your judgemental diatribe? Mature response! Look around: no one takes responsibility for their actions any more, it's always someone else's fault. I remember my gp asking if I knew why I put on weight. I said of course, I love to eat don't like to move. She looked at me in shock. She said in 15 years of asking that question I was the first person to say that. We're human, we make poor choices, if we're honest the clues are there we just get wise after the fact. " So true!! | |||
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