FabSwingers.com forum: Father Ted quotes

By *oman wanted OP Couple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Liverpool/Manchester

Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...

...More drink?

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By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

Lolz

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By *idlandiaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

This cow is small, that cow is far away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Down with this sort of thing

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

"I hear you're a racist now, Father? Should we all be racist now? What's the Church's position? I'm so busy down on the farm I won't have much time for the ol' racism."

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By *oncupiscentTonyMan
over a year ago

Kent

"I hear you're a racist now father"

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By *ddibleMan
over a year ago

Exeter Bristol Salisbury

"These cows are small, those cows are far away"

I always think of that and chuckle when I pass a field with cows in it

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

"Down with this sort of thing"

Careful now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Douglas: Well Ted mike I said the last time, it won’t happen again

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"Go away! I don't want to catch the menopause!"

Fr Eoin McLove to his middle-aged female fans

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Ride me sideways!

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Mrs Doyle: 'What do you say to a cup of tea, Father Jack?'

Father Jack: 'Feck off cup'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't call me Len you little Bollox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ted: Would you like your pizza cut into 6 or 8 slices Dougal ?

Dougal: Oh just 6, I don’t think I could eat 8.

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By *oman wanted OP Couple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Liverpool/Manchester

Mrs. Doyle: I'm so excited. Taking on three bishops all at once. I can't wait.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about that time I saw gods face in a painting. That was a bit strange!

That wasn’t strange Dougal it was a painting of God

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

That money was just resting in my account!

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Dougal talking to the Bishop, 'All this Jesus dieing and coming back to life thing is a bit far fetched, who'd believe that one'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drink, feck, girls, arse.......

...sounds more like a Friday night at our place than an FT quote !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cows one tickles me. Incidentally my best mate when I was a kid is cousins with Dougal. Met him at a birthday party once. He’s a lovely bloke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't call me Len ya little prick ... I'm a bishop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's gotta be the cow episode, still can't look at a field of cows without thinking about that episode lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That would be an ecumenical matter"

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By *j251Man
over a year ago

Coventry

Ah go on, go on, go on, go on ...

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By *aughtyLittleMissWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Ah go on, go on, go on, go on ... "

Mrs Doyle, love her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Billy's was rounder at the top

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By *he rover returnedWoman
over a year ago

xxx

Dougal to ted .... thats nearly as mad as that thing you told me about the fishes and loves

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By *ulip5567Woman
over a year ago

Swindon

"I love my brick!"

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By *ailorJerryLoversCouple
over a year ago

South Herts

Doesn't Mary have a lovely bottom?

Of course, they all have lovely bottoms.

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By *auradCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

I hear it is the largest one in Ireland.

When the priests are lost in the lingerie department in a store.

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

‘I hear you’ve quite the collection of war memorabilia...’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what’s it to be Dougal chess or buckaroo?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

You can't remember any of that? The helicopter! When you fell out of the helicopter! Over the zoo! Do you remember the tigers? You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.

Ah, Sister Assumpta!

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Every single one of these has made me laugh, love this show!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Japanese girls knickers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/10/18 19:50:32]

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By *aro7Man
over a year ago

wickford

Heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, heads, no tails,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that gobshite still on the telly!!!!

Feck off cup!!!

I’M A HAPPY CAMPER!!!!!!!!

Gotta love Father Jack

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Mrs. Doyle: Father Crilly, Pat wants to know if he can put his massive tool in my box.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the pat mustard episode: dougal finally realising- she had her tits out!

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

"Hairy Japanese bastards!"

Though call rabbits that who knows...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bishop brennen: right, well we'll be going now.

Ted: sorry you can't., they take the roads in when the weather is bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw... would you look at him there with his hairy hands...

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Wait a second. These are FAKE hands!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait a second. These are FAKE hands!!!! "

From the over 75s football.. Fecking do funny

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By *istress Spank and SissyCouple
over a year ago

Ted you forgot your brick

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Wait a second. These are FAKE hands!!!!

From the over 75s football.. Fecking do funny

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

Say there's 200 million priests in the world and 5% of them are pedophiles, that's only 10 million.

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By *NT LoversCouple
over a year ago

Manchester Warrington

Father Ted - That's the great thing about Catholicism.... its very vague and no one knows what its really about

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By *edscot84Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

...Father Chewy Louis...Father Spodo Komodo...

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By *evensnipeMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

That would be an Ecumenical Matter!

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By *easingTimMan
over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"TED, THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP!!"

(R.I.P Pat Mustard you legend

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Ted band dougal go to start Cuthbert's to get father jack back: a flash light illuminates different fathers in turn; arse, girls, drink, is the result until: "I really don't know why I'm here?" by an obvious Cotswold vicar with a posh voice!

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By *evensnipeMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

Dougal...…. God Ted, I’ve heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord’s going to come back and judge us all.

Ted...…. No… no Dougal, that’s us. That’s Catholicism you’re talking about there.

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

Cup of tea cup of tea cake

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