FabSwingers.com forum: Marriage

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?"

Nothing changed for us except my surname and all the masses of paperwork to accompany that. We are as close now as ever and it only gets better as we go xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

Nothing changed for us except my surname and all the masses of paperwork to accompany that. We are as close now as ever and it only gets better as we go xx"

That’s about the same for us! (Except his surname changed not mine).

My local GP won’t change me from ‘Miss’ to ‘Mrs’ without filling out a tone of paperwork and sending them my marriage license because ‘men don’t take their wife’s last name’. Only thing that’s bothered me so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I married my ex after 10 years of being together. So I didn't expect any change at all. But actually it was quite nice. It deepened our relationship and connected us with an ancient tradition which many of our ancestors went through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?"
he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised "

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I married my ex after 10 years of being together. So I didn't expect any change at all. But actually it was quite nice. It deepened our relationship and connected us with an ancient tradition which many of our ancestors went through. "

Aww that’s lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

"
It's an unusual name is it his mum that's not happy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes getting married changed my relationship, a lot. It ended in divorce, thank god.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

It's an unusual name is it his mum that's not happy? "

His whole family lol. Was told I’m a disappointment. My ‘lovely’ sister in law got married a few months after me to my husbands brother and she said she couldn’t be prouder to keep on the family name. I couldn’t think of anything worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

It's an unusual name is it his mum that's not happy?

Only reason we took my last name was because it’s my stepdads last name and I only officially took it (I’ve been going by it since I was 4) six months before we got married. And I love my stepdad and wanted to keep it"
Well I think that's a very valid reason and I think your husband is a lovely man for doing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wont get married.

All the good ones have been taken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?"

Nothing changed for me when I was married other than call each other husband and wife. I didn’t even change my name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend of my mine had been living with his girlfriend for nearly nine years. They decided to get married and split up in less then a year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wont get married.

All the good ones have been taken."

What a silly thing to say.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I have never been married and never wanted to. Just all seems a bit pointless to me especially as most say nothing changes. Thats just my opinion obviuosly and i am happy for those who have found happiness through marriage.

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By *ister KinkyMan
over a year ago

Sussex

Yes it changed it massively. We had been a kinky fetish loving couple who used to go to events in London on a regular basis. After we were married it all stopped. Three years later we are separated. Wish we'd stayed as we were. Can't explain what happened.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A friend of my mine had been living with his girlfriend for nearly nine years. They decided to get married and split up in less then a year. "

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes it changed it massively. We had been a kinky fetish loving couple who used to go to events in London on a regular basis. After we were married it all stopped. Three years later we are separated. Wish we'd stayed as we were. Can't explain what happened.

Oh no, I’m sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes getting married changed my ex from a loving, caring happy go lucky man into a monster who verbally, physically, mentally and financially abused me ... who knew he was such a good actor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It changed nothing, neither did divorce. We still argue all the time just like during and prior to being married.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

Nothing changed for me when I was married other than call each other husband and wife. I didn’t even change my name. "

I still accidentally refer to my husband as my boyfriend occasionally

Or I say ‘man, I’m the best girlfriend in the world’ and he says ‘are you aye? You’re an alright wife too’

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes getting married changed my ex from a loving, caring happy go lucky man into a monster who verbally, physically, mentally and financially abused me ... who knew he was such a good actor

That’s awful

hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, my ex took more chances to up his control and abuse of me. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel like it changed things, it seemed that for her it was a case of “job done” and there was no need to work at things any longer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/10/18 15:48:12]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I feel like it changed things, it seemed that for her it was a case of “job done” and there was no need to work at things any longer.

Sort of like couples who think having a baby will fix their relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Too much information removed by poster at 11/10/18 15:48:12]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was with my husband for 5 years before we got married. I was 19, he was almost 21.

It went well for a few years and then went rapidly down hill, for whatever reasons, but I stuck it out for another 20 odd years.

I think I grieved for my relationship for a while.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"[Too much information removed by poster at 11/10/18 15:48:12]

Easy tiger!

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By *ister KinkyMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"I feel like it changed things, it seemed that for her it was a case of “job done” and there was no need to work at things any longer.

This ^^^

Same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Too much information removed by poster at 11/10/18 15:48:12]

Easy tiger!

A momentary blip... Got a lid back on it sharpish

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"[Too much information removed by poster at 11/10/18 15:48:12]

Easy tiger!

A momentary blip... Got a lid back on it sharpish

I read it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Too much information removed by poster at 11/10/18 15:48:12]

Easy tiger!

A momentary blip... Got a lid back on it sharpish

I read it x"

A rare moment of the (overly long) length of time it takes me to type something not being long enough to decide I shouldn't or didn't want to post after all

Ah well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

Nothing changed for us except my surname and all the masses of paperwork to accompany that. We are as close now as ever and it only gets better as we go xx

That’s about the same for us! (Except his surname changed not mine).

Jobsworths! Haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/10/18 13:36:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup I don't like marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

Tbh I'd take Leviosa as my surname because it's cool as

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We got married 31 years ago after being together for 7 years. Of course being married has changed things. 31 years is a long time and we have changed each other and our relationship in a lot of ways. The nature of life and living long term with another person is that change takes place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

Tbh I'd take Leviosa as my surname because it's cool as

Extremely cool

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Just felt the right thing to do to get married. Didn't change our relationship at all, just felt we needed to be married to set up a home and have children.

A bit old fashioned but it's what we wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

Surely His Royal Highness Prince Levosia, Phil didn't become King when he married into the Windsors.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?

he's called Mr Leviosa now well I'm not surprised

You’re not surprised? How so?

He’s been Mr Leviosa for a year and a half now

Surely His Royal Highness Prince Levosia, Phil didn't become King when he married into the Windsors."

You’re right. He was a peasant before me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard to explain but in a nutshell, getting married made us have to grow up, which in turn changed the relationship dynamics.

We married to appease parents, lesson learned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not getting married again, instead I am going to find someone I dont like and buy them a house...

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?"
that's unusual...Mr leviosa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

7 years i have been. We make effort with each other every day not just the big gestures just little things like i put some jelly totts in her bag so she found them at work, run a candle lit bath for her for when she gets home from work ect. We are very much stil boyfriend & girlfriend we keep the fire lit. Many people & friends of ours seem to think youve got that wedding band on and become lazy, let themselves go and not make effort. Marriage takes work every day

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I wont get married.

All the good ones have been taken."

I'm divorced,but I hope there's a few good one's still free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wont get married.

All the good ones have been taken.

What a silly thing to say. "

Yes, I thought so too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing changed when I got married was just making it official after being together 8yrs

Together 27 now.only really got married as when we wanted kids I wanted us to all have the same name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Marriage takes work every day"

Not just by one partner though.

Does your wife know you're on here by the way? Not judging, just asking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing changed for us when we got married we had already been together 7 years and had a child we have now been married for nearly 6. We have always been very close and a strong relationship from day one. It just made it official and allowed everyone to have a nice holiday as we got married in Cuba

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We waited 11 years before we got married.

Here we are coming up to our 35th year together.

Yes we are getting older but all that has changed is that we have grown stronger together.

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By *ow ability pornstarMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Don’t know if it’s getting married or having two small children but I can relate to the ‘job done’ sentiment. I think the kids have had more impact than a bit of paper and a party though. We rarely get time to be a couple and when we do we’re too shattered to do anything fun. We don’t have spare cash for babysitters and work means we live 3hrs away from family so even leaving the house together without kids is a rarity. Sex now is functional and very vanilla, if at all. Thankfully we’re both aware of that and are trying to basically book an appointment to have sex on a regular basis, though there has always been a difference in outlook sexually and definitely in labido ( this me on here with consent- but not meeting anymore by my choice )

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I don’t think marriage changed the relationship nearly as much as having kids did.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"We waited 11 years before we got married.

Here we are coming up to our 35th year together.

Yes we are getting older but all that has changed is that we have grown stronger together."

We are the same.

We married after being together for 11 years.

We have been married for 22 years and been together for 33 years.

Our relationship grows stronger every day.

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By *layfulfoxMan
over a year ago

nowhere

"We waited 11 years before we got married.

Here we are coming up to our 35th year together.

Yes we are getting older but all that has changed is that we have grown stronger together."

'we' waited 11 years too then split less than a year after being married. Go figure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep ruined mine

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

For me, being proposed to by someone you loved was simply the icing on the cake and made us feel "verified" if that makes sense.

I think that's why I'm not totally happy in my current relationship. Knocking on 60 with a boyfriend doesn't feel right. I struggle to plan for a future with someone who could claim from my estate, to the detriment of my children, who doesn't see being married as important.

I know I'm old fashioned.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"We waited 11 years before we got married.

Here we are coming up to our 35th year together.

Yes we are getting older but all that has changed is that we have grown stronger together.

We are the same.

We married after being together for 11 years.

We have been married for 22 years and been together for 33 years.

Our relationship grows stronger every day. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

He showed his true colours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re married, or have been married, did getting married change your relationship at all?

Getting married didn’t change mine at all really. We were already a solid couple. It just made it all ‘official’.

It did change our relationship with other people though. For example, his family don’t like that he took my last name. (One of many things they don’t like, but it’s a big one).

Did much change for you?"
yes she expected me to give up my sports at first ,if u can get through the first year you have a chance,I had 15 yrs most good the key is to be able to bend slightly but not to try and change the persin your with only reason we aren't together now is family tradgedy

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Only changed a lot in terms administration, rights, how your treated/regarded as a couple by others and legal ties/responsibilities between each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Marriage takes work every day

Not just by one partner though.

Does your wife know you're on here by the way? Not judging, just asking "

Agreed we both (well three of us) make a huge amount of effort.

We're both on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t see how a ring or piece of paper changes things,if your with someone your with someone regardless and so many marriages go wrong early on after the couple have been together ages.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Marriage changed us.

The responsibilities and expenses changed things considerably from fun loving to worrying how to pay bills. Then of course getting pregnant added to the stress. Hard times but somehow you get through it because you love each other. So I guess we were pretty solid.

45 years later we are a grumpy bickering couple but you just muddle through.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"Don’t see how a ring or piece of paper changes things,if your with someone your with someone regardless and so many marriages go wrong early on after the couple have been together ages."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t see how a ring or piece of paper changes things,if your with someone your with someone regardless and so many marriages go wrong early on after the couple have been together ages.

Agree but it very much changes things in terms of legalities and the way your view/treated as a couple. From a legal point of view it's not taken lightly (as many don't find out till divorse). I see it as more of a legal contractual agreement and union than anything to do with how much you love each other."
yes very much so agreed and ruins people’s lives forever after a messy divorce so is it really worth it for a ring & piece of paper that’s the question.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don’t see how a ring or piece of paper changes things,if your with someone your with someone regardless and so many marriages go wrong early on after the couple have been together ages.

yes very much so agreed and ruins people’s lives forever after a messy divorce so is it really worth it for a ring & piece of paper that’s the question."

I don’t think most people get married thinking that they’ll end up divorced. I think it’s worth it

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