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"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could " give me substance | |||
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"I have exactly this dilemma right now. I could make things up with my estranged wife. We both clearly love each other after so long together and I have to say despite my actions over the years. We have not had any sexual contact for eighteen months and don’t want any. I could move in with my naughty nurse who says she loves me even though we only met a few months ago, the sex is incredible. I know that’s always the case in a new relationship. However, it’s taken me all these years to find someone who is hornier than me. She is off the scale! What to do?" You love eachother, but are you “in love” with eachother? There is a world of difference... The fact your even having to ask the question tell (me) your answer! Best of luck Hun x  | |||
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"No contest sex is fantastic but pails into nothing in comparison to love and affection. " I'll go with that ^^^ | |||
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" You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" Oh that is so sweet! | |||
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" You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" you charmer you .... | |||
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" You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams you charmer you .... "You've been there then.its a great place | |||
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 conquers all | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. " Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. | |||
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"It depends on how deep that love is. If it was complete unabandoned, can't live without each other love, then I'd drop almost everything to have it... except my children. That type of love is too rare to choose swinging over, in my opinion. " So could you have that if the sex was s@#t? | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point." They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. | |||
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But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. " No, it means making your partners needs your priority and your own best pleasure if they don't want to swing anymore. You may love swinging more than your partner - normal people love their partner more IMO. | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. " beep bop beep does not compute | |||
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"It depends on how deep that love is. If it was complete unabandoned, can't live without each other love, then I'd drop almost everything to have it... except my children. That type of love is too rare to choose swinging over, in my opinion. So could you have that if the sex was s@#t? " I wouldn't even be able to have that type of love if the sex was shit. The feelings wouldn't get far | |||
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"I have both
But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that "I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else. | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. " That's rather condescending in itself to be fair. Swinging has many forms these days. What you deem to be swinging doesn't mean everyone else has to agree. | |||
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"I have both
But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that
I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else.
"I don’t need anything either. This is just a wee added extra. I’d maybe stay on here for the forums (which he knows I enjoy) but I’d hide my profile and remove my pictures | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things. "Totally agree there | |||
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"I have both
But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that
I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else.
I don’t need anything either. This is just a wee added extra. I’d maybe stay on here for the forums (which he knows I enjoy) but I’d hide my profile and remove my pictures "I'm here for forums.anything else is a bonus | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things. "Why couldn’t someone find love within fab? | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things. "There are lots of couples who have met through fab..a few have even got married so i think you are way off there | |||
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"I have both
But if my husband wanted us to stop swinging, I’d be more than happy with that
I was the same, I came off these sites as I was committed to her. Didn't need anything else.
I don’t need anything either. This is just a wee added extra. I’d maybe stay on here for the forums (which he knows I enjoy) but I’d hide my profile and remove my pictures
I'm here for forums.anything else is a bonus "Me too x | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Why couldn’t someone find love within fab? "I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy. | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
There are lots of couples who have met through fab..a few have even got married so i think you are way off there" | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Totally agree there"I don't agree with this at all. I have a 3 year old to prove that . It may not have worked out but we still love and care for one another. | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?
I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy. "I came on here to potentially find a like minded guy as found it hard to find a guy who wants a swinging relationship on dating sites. I’m not into casual hook ups so I kept an open mind. Watch this space. I’ve hidden my profile for a reason.  | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?
I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.
I came on here to potentially find a like minded guy as found it hard to find a guy who wants a swinging relationship on dating sites. I’m not into casual hook ups so I kept an open mind. Watch this space. I’ve hidden my profile for a reason. "Oooooh | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?
I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.
I came on here to potentially find a like minded guy as found it hard to find a guy who wants a swinging relationship on dating sites. I’m not into casual hook ups so I kept an open mind. Watch this space. I’ve hidden my profile for a reason.
Oooooh "Got to be in it and all that. I also have a very sick mum so that’s not helping but no harm in trying. x | |||
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"I have exactly this dilemma right now. I could make things up with my estranged wife. We both clearly love each other after so long together and I have to say despite my actions over the years. We have not had any sexual contact for eighteen months and don’t want any. I could move in with my naughty nurse who says she loves me even though we only met a few months ago, the sex is incredible. I know that’s always the case in a new relationship. However, it’s taken me all these years to find someone who is hornier than me. She is off the scale! What to do?" Sorry but she may in all likelihood get bored of fucking you. So that spark you speak off, will die off. Or it may not! There's only so much different types of sex and positions two people can do, then what!? What do you do after you've done it all? Surely bordom eventually sets in, as it's the same old same with the same person. Is that when an in love couple become swingers? For my with my ex that wasn't an option. Eventually I left him. | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?
I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.
I came on here to potentially find a like minded guy as found it hard to find a guy who wants a swinging relationship on dating sites. I’m not into casual hook ups so I kept an open mind. Watch this space. I’ve hidden my profile for a reason.
Oooooh
Got to be in it and all that. I also have a very sick mum so that’s not helping but no harm in trying. x"Sometimes it doesn't arrive at the right time, but you have to go with your feelings, or you'll be filled with 'what If's?'. I'm sorry to hear about your mum lovely x | |||
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"I have exactly this dilemma right now. I could make things up with my estranged wife. We both clearly love each other after so long together and I have to say despite my actions over the years. We have not had any sexual contact for eighteen months and don’t want any. I could move in with my naughty nurse who says she loves me even though we only met a few months ago, the sex is incredible. I know that’s always the case in a new relationship. However, it’s taken me all these years to find someone who is hornier than me. She is off the scale! What to do?" Can't see you lasting with the one you left behind! Good luck with what you choose anyway x | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. No, it means making your partners needs your priority and your own best pleasure if they don't want to swing anymore. You may love swinging more than your partner - normal people love their partner more IMO." So agree with you on this . | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist." | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?
I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.
I came on here to potentially find a like minded guy as found it hard to find a guy who wants a swinging relationship on dating sites. I’m not into casual hook ups so I kept an open mind. Watch this space. I’ve hidden my profile for a reason. "Fingers crossed for you poochie xx | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist. "Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end. | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end. "Not always. | |||
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"One thing I would say (my opinion) is that I don’t think fab should be used to fill any void or emptiness/loneliness. That’s just going to cause more hurt. I guess everybody wants companionship in one form or another. Be it love or friendship. I think fab life and finding love are two very separate and distinct things.
Why couldn’t someone find love within fab?
I think you could fine love on here but I wouldn't be here to specifically look for it (I think that's what he was meaning) if I found it I'd be quite happy.
I came on here to potentially find a like minded guy as found it hard to find a guy who wants a swinging relationship on dating sites. I’m not into casual hook ups so I kept an open mind. Watch this space. I’ve hidden my profile for a reason.
Oooooh
Got to be in it and all that. I also have a very sick mum so that’s not helping but no harm in trying. x
Sometimes it doesn't arrive at the right time, but you have to go with your feelings, or you'll be filled with 'what If's?'. I'm sorry to hear about your mum lovely x"Thank you. I agree, I always go for it rather than hesitate x | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end. " | |||
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"Why can't I have both?" The perfect solution. | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always. "So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule? | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule? "Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend. | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?
Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend. "Cool, how long have you been married? | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?
Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.
Cool, how long have you been married? "2 weeks away from 37 years | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. " Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that. | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?
Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.
Cool, how long have you been married?
2 weeks away from 37 years
"That's a great achievement. Sincerely, my congratulations. Sadly I think you are the exception to the rule, but that doesn't detract from what you've achieved. | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that." It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship. | |||
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"I love you #youknowwhoyouare" It's our secret tiger | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?
Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.
Cool, how long have you been married?
2 weeks away from 37 years
That's a great achievement. Sincerely, my congratulations. Sadly I think you are the exception to the rule, but that doesn't detract from what you've achieved. "Thank you. | |||
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"But surely if your non monogomus sexually by nature then being with someone shares your love of swinging or at least supports your swinging is vital. Because a good loving realtionships is about totally acceptance of each other and both being free to be yourself. If you can't be yourself in a relationship is that not a poor foundation? For me one of the foundations of love is acceptance and love for who someone truly is." Nice in theory but everyone has some insecurities surely that could get in the way | |||
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"But surely if your non monogomus sexually by nature then being with someone shares your love of swinging or at least supports your swinging is vital. Because a good loving realtionships is about totally acceptance of each other and both being free to be yourself. If you can't be yourself in a relationship is that not a poor foundation? For me one of the foundations of love is acceptance and love for who someone truly is. Nice in theory but everyone has some insecurities surely that could get in the way" Not in the way I think, you are thinking. If you want to make the argument that insecurities are part of human nature, I would counter that human nature is context dependant. As swingers, whatever insecurities that may exist don't manifest themsleves in any significant form. It's possible the could. But it's not inevitable. | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that. It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship. " But surely that's one of the flaws in the question? Offering only the option to swing or be in love? I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it. | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that. It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship. But surely that's one of the flaws in the question? Offering only the option to swing or be in love? I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it. " The question was whether you'd "swap" swinging for "love". Since you aren't swinging then you have nothing to swap from. Some people are naturally pre-disposed to monogamy, it sounds like you are. Nothing wrong with that. It's the implied false dichotamy of the question that triggered me. | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that. It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship. " I could have written so much about this but, instead chose earlier to post my shortest post ever here. I’m quite shocked (and it takes a lot for me) by some of the responses. Any ultimatum - explicit or implied, is not love, it’s possessiveness, neurosis or jealousy. One thing is is most certainly not, is love. | |||
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"I love you #youknowwhoyouare It's our secret tiger "Xox mwah on your tits | |||
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" I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it. " So you have casual sex but do not nor will swing? | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that. It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship. I could have written so much about this but, instead chose earlier to post my shortest post ever here. I’m quite shocked (and it takes a lot for me) by some of the responses. Any ultimatum - explicit or implied, is not love, it’s possessiveness, neurosis or jealousy. One thing is is most certainly not, is love. " A lot of people associate sexual infidelity with some kind of relationship flaw. It's just nonsense. If I went to a 3d printer and designed the optimal woman that I could be attracted to, I would still not lose the desire to engage in swinging. Nor would I gain any desire to have the exclusive sexual rights to her. | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that. It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship. I could have written so much about this but, instead chose earlier to post my shortest post ever here. I’m quite shocked (and it takes a lot for me) by some of the responses. Any ultimatum - explicit or implied, is not love, it’s possessiveness, neurosis or jealousy. One thing is is most certainly not, is love. " There does not have to be an ultimatum - simply two people making the same choice. | |||
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However, if there was ever a time where either of us said we didn’t want to be here any more we would both leave. Our relationship is more important than swinging | |||
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"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could " Yes, but it doesn't exist anymore. Besides what is LOVE anyway? | |||
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"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could Yes, but it doesn't exist anymore. Besides what is LOVE anyway?" Oh hell, that's a deep question. | |||
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"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could Yes, but it doesn't exist anymore. Besides what is LOVE anyway? Oh hell, that's a deep question." quoting Howard jones now look | |||
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"Ridiculous question and frankly offensive to swingers. If you even thought the question made sense then you are not a swinger to start with and have nothing to give up. Therefore you are caught in a catch 22 and all answers are void. Bullshit. Plenty of swingers give up for love of their partner at some point. They literally can't. It's a paradoxical situation that they cannot escape. Furthermore, love does not mean repressing your partner and needing to control them like a possession to be guarded. Absolutely! It's very interesting to read that people genuinely believe that you would be given a choice over love or your lifestyle. It is the thought of this ultimatum that would and has killed relationships of mine in the past. You can't control people and if you try to change them then you have a big problem. You can 100% have both. That's that. It's the kind of debate you expect to see on mumsnet. To love is to will the good in another. Most humans are naturally pre-disposed away from monogamy. A person that tried to force them against that, back into monogamy just to pander to their jealousy issues, with all the internal conflict that would cause, is not loving them. I bet over half the singles saying yes here, have never been in a committed ethically non-mongamous relationship. But surely that's one of the flaws in the question? Offering only the option to swing or be in love? I answered it from my view as a single who hasn't been there, I have never shared nor had the desire to share a partner so given the choice I chose love as I know it. The question was whether you'd "swap" swinging for "love". Since you aren't swinging then you have nothing to swap from. Some people are naturally pre-disposed to monogamy, it sounds like you are. Nothing wrong with that. It's the implied false dichotamy of the question that triggered me. " Yeah I totally understand that. I guess it's not a question that can be answered by most people here. | |||
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"I love you #youknowwhoyouare" Love you too babe. | |||
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"But surely if your non monogomus sexually by nature then being with someone shares your love of swinging or at least supports your swinging is vital. Because a good loving realtionships is about totally acceptance of each other and both being free to be yourself. If you can't be yourself in a relationship is that not a poor foundation? For me one of the foundations of love is acceptance and love for who someone truly is. Nice in theory but everyone has some insecurities surely that could get in the way" Don't well all? Some more than others. That is a factor normal to all relationships. Although exacerbated in forms of non monogomus relationships. But the way I see it either or both parties not being able to be and espress them self is a far more dangerous and repressive risk than the green eyed monster. It doesn't have to be a theory with acceptance, grown up understanding of the world, self and each other, Love, plus bags of honest adult communication. | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?
Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.
Cool, how long have you been married?
2 weeks away from 37 years
"Had to say congratulations to you both. My parents have been married 37 years as well. They married when my mum was 16 and my dad 18. My mum was pregnant with me and it still wasn't a shotgun wedding! Lol. Hope you have many more happy years to come. It's fab to see long lasting marriages. | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?
Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.
Cool, how long have you been married?
2 weeks away from 37 years
"Well done amazing achievement and one to be proud of xx | |||
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"Seems I’m shit at love so I’ll stick to Fab " Nothing wrong with that... So am I  | |||
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"I want both in one person. " This
And yes it can happen x | |||
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"I want both in one person. This
And yes it can happen x"Now that would be perfect but highly unlikely i think | |||
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"I want both in one person. This
And yes it can happen x
Now that would be perfect but highly unlikely i think "I married someone I met on fab and we both continue to enjoy each other and other people. | |||
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"Yes why not both. Surely a good loving relationship is when your with someone loves and accepts you for who you are and you feel tottaly free to be yourself? " | |||
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"I want both in one person. This
And yes it can happen x
Now that would be perfect but highly unlikely i think "Why do men keep saying its highly unlikely..lots of people have met on here and got married... | |||
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"I can't imagine I'd ever want to swing if I met the love of my life. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than all-consuming love where we are so wrapped up in each other the rest of the world doesn't exist.
Whenever you hear this kind of language, you can start the countdown on the divorce. I'd tell you there are psychology studies that prove it, but we know how that would end.
Not always.
So what - you're going to bank on yourself to be the exception to the rule?
Yes- most certainly. I married the love of my life and my best friend.
Cool, how long have you been married?
2 weeks away from 37 years
Had to say congratulations to you both. My parents have been married 37 years as well. They married when my mum was 16 and my dad 18. My mum was pregnant with me and it still wasn't a shotgun wedding! Lol.
Hope you have many more happy years to come. It's fab to see long lasting marriages."Thank you. We aim to drive each other mad for ever x | |||
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"Sometimes we do things in life .to fill the emptiness loneliness..would u swap fab for love if you could " The two aren't mutually exclusive. I know a lot of people are using fab to fill emptiness and loneliness and to find some sort of intimacy. I think they probably feel disappointed quite often. Do you think that couples like us who have discussed and negotiated our way through this with the honesty that's required to make it successful don't love each other? Or are you just talking about singles? | |||
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"I want both in one person. This
And yes it can happen x
Now that would be perfect but highly unlikely i think
Why do men keep saying its highly unlikely..lots of people have met on here and got married..."I think it's highly unlikely too, most of us struggle to find a FWB. I know it does happen though | |||
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" You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" I'll be using that one on my future love | |||
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"...I’m not throwing away love for fucking." Haha well put! | |||
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" You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams I'll be using that one on my future love "Me also | |||
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" You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams I'll be using that one on my future love
Me also "Me three. That’s very good. | |||
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