FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Cock measuring

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I feel as a man I'm letting the side down by not comparing my cock to common household item.

What should I use to entice the laydees?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bars of soap....gives a good sign

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilver_medallistMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I am thinking of going into business making and selling mini sky remote controls

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *haverMan
over a year ago

bracknell

I prefer miniture cans i find they flatter me the most still trying to find mini remote controls

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Rolling pin.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kitchen utensils or tools, shows your very domesticated

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea op but dont forget to start from the arsehole

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A giant dildo if I have one lying round the kitchen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rolling pin."
Batter it like a snitzel so it looks longer?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Rolling pin. Batter it like a snitzel so it looks longer? "

Then shove it up your stink hole.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/10/18 11:16:11]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/10/18 11:16:40]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Toblerone is a popular one. They do the big ones now xmas is coming up. Or if need be they do the mini ones in the fun bags.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get one of them tiny little cans of pop and a fun size Mars bar...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rolling pin. Batter it like a snitzel so it looks longer?

Then shove it up your stink hole."

Wouln't be the first time I've been invited to go fuck myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea op but dont forget to start from the arsehole"

I think he’s gone unlos.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Toblerone is a popular one. They do the big ones now xmas is coming up. Or if need be they do the mini ones in the fun bags. "

Mini anything.... like it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Rolling pin. Batter it like a snitzel so it looks longer?

Then shove it up your stink hole.

Wouln't be the first time I've been invited to go fuck myself "

Nor me. When will they realise I'd much rather do that anyway than have sex with someone I wouldn't want to share my oxygen with let alone my body.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A sink plunger? The cat?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Rolling pin. Batter it like a snitzel so it looks longer?

Then shove it up your stink hole.

Wouln't be the first time I've been invited to go fuck myself

Nor me. When will they realise I'd much rather do that anyway than have sex with someone I wouldn't want to share my oxygen with let alone my body."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea op but dont forget to start from the arsehole

I think he’s gone unlos."

You've finally made me laugh! Well played.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love to compare it to a tic tac

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love to compare it to a tic tac "

Lucky ladies

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strawberry laces

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel as a man I'm letting the side down by not comparing my cock to common household item.

What should I use to entice the laydees? "

A glade room spray. They'll know the room smells lush as they look at the photo then. Two birds, one stone. You can thank me later

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love to compare it to a tic tac

Lucky ladies "

At least they get a fresh breath hun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love to compare it to a tic tac

Lucky ladies

At least they get a fresh breath hun "

You're too clever for your own good sometimes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to use a butter knife

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'll take some of these suggestions and post them later

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Toblerone -she can then use the number of triangles as a guide.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Your heels?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

[Removed by poster at 11/10/18 17:10:29]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your heels?"

good call

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Small hand is a good one.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"Small hand is a good one."

You have those lying about your home?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Fire extinguishers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Took a pic, just waiting for approval

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Approved

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Approved "

I'm chuckling

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Approved

I'm chuckling "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Approved "

U been in the minifridge again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Approved

U been in the minifridge again"

That's a one litre bottle.

Fablitres.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace "

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?"

Does it taste of strawberries?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?"

Oh I see where you are going with this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Toblerone is a popular one. They do the big ones now xmas is coming up. Or if need be they do the mini ones in the fun bags. "

I can use a big one

If I eat half first lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?

Oh I see where you are going with this "

Eat your shoelace

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?"

Use one of those flavoured condoms to make your shoelaces taste better.

(a phrase I would never have imagined writing)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?

Oh I see where you are going with this

Eat your shoelace "

*slams front door*

Brummmmmmmm

screech

*handbrake turns into Tesco*

One packet of your finest strawberry laces please shopkeeper. Extra long please

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?

Oh I see where you are going with this

Eat your shoelace

*slams front door*

Brummmmmmmm

screech

*handbrake turns into Tesco*

One packet of your finest strawberry laces please shopkeeper. Extra long please "

Why would you want extralong ones? Wouldn’t you use the same logic you used when using that ‘huge’ bottle?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?

Oh I see where you are going with this

Eat your shoelace

*slams front door*

Brummmmmmmm

screech

*handbrake turns into Tesco*

One packet of your finest strawberry laces please shopkeeper. Extra long please

Why would you want extralong ones? Wouldn’t you use the same logic you used when using that ‘huge’ bottle? "

As I'm wrapping it round, it will take you longer to eat them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?

Oh I see where you are going with this

Eat your shoelace

*slams front door*

Brummmmmmmm

screech

*handbrake turns into Tesco*

One packet of your finest strawberry laces please shopkeeper. Extra long please

Why would you want extralong ones? Wouldn’t you use the same logic you used when using that ‘huge’ bottle?

As I'm wrapping it round, it will take you longer to eat them "

oooooooooooooooo

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Bars of soap....gives a good sign "

Shows you're clean and hung

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?

Oh I see where you are going with this

Eat your shoelace

*slams front door*

Brummmmmmmm

screech

*handbrake turns into Tesco*

One packet of your finest strawberry laces please shopkeeper. Extra long please

Why would you want extralong ones? Wouldn’t you use the same logic you used when using that ‘huge’ bottle?

As I'm wrapping it round, it will take you longer to eat them

oooooooooooooooo "

See, not as daft as I make out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That doesn’t look like a strawberry lace

I don't have any. Shoelace any good?

Does it taste of strawberries?

Oh I see where you are going with this

Eat your shoelace

*slams front door*

Brummmmmmmm

screech

*handbrake turns into Tesco*

One packet of your finest strawberry laces please shopkeeper. Extra long please

Why would you want extralong ones? Wouldn’t you use the same logic you used when using that ‘huge’ bottle?

As I'm wrapping it round, it will take you longer to eat them

oooooooooooooooo

See, not as daft as I make out "

I’m sorry for ever doubting you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andyladMan
over a year ago

Hereorthere

I used a Christmas Toblerone once. Ate three quarters of it but still......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire


"I feel as a man I'm letting the side down by not comparing my cock to common household item.

What should I use to entice the laydees? "

Not having a cock pic as an avatar is a good place to start.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

two stacked decks of fag packets..maybe not superkings

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I feel as a man I'm letting the side down by not comparing my cock to common household item.

What should I use to entice the laydees?

Not having a cock pic as an avatar is a good place to start."

This is irony, not an actual real question. I'll bear your tip in mind, however I've had 27 profile views since changing my pic Some were women too!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel as a man I'm letting the side down by not comparing my cock to common household item.

What should I use to entice the laydees?

Not having a cock pic as an avatar is a good place to start.

This is irony, not an actual real question. I'll bear your tip in mind, however I've had 27 profile views since changing my pic Some were women too!"

Proud of you papa

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I feel as a man I'm letting the side down by not comparing my cock to common household item.

What should I use to entice the laydees?

Not having a cock pic as an avatar is a good place to start.

This is irony, not an actual real question. I'll bear your tip in mind, however I've had 27 profile views since changing my pic Some were women too!

Proud of you papa"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top