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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It’s colder than a witch’s tit.

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By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

Absolutely smashed it

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Wind your neck in

Miss

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Daft as a brush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You lie like a cheap watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cock-womble.

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Away and raffle yourself

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

The weather/day is fantastic

It is indeed YOU who is miserable xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Young man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face like a skelped arse

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Nose ointment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Away n work

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Breath that could make a maggot gag

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By *otBunsHunWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Wetter than an otter's pocket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here, have some money

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pish

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By *amlee7986Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

Mad as a box of frogs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s colder than a witch’s tit. "
a stitch in time saves nine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never in my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ride him/her into battle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp "

Or like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle...

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

Hebejebees

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Tickety boo...

Usually sums up my mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tongue punch your fart box ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tongue punch your fart box ?? "

You old smoothy!

Finger bang your dung pipe... (for those tender romantic moments)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your foot before your knee puts your mind at ease

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smell yer moh

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By *verageguy123Man
over a year ago

Selby

Had more pricks than a second hand dart board

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hotter than a badgers bumhole"

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smell yer moh "

Haha! Do you mean 'maw'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smell yer moh

Haha! Do you mean 'maw'?"

Bloody autocarrot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smell yer moh

Haha! Do you mean 'maw'?

Bloody autocarrot "

I thought it was just a Leeds version of the worst phrase that's ever came out of Scotland! (Exluding fandabbydosy)

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Don’t fancy yours much!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smell yer moh

Haha! Do you mean 'maw'?

Bloody autocarrot

I thought it was just a Leeds version of the worst phrase that's ever came out of Scotland! (Exluding fandabbydosy)"

I’ve never heard it in Leeds - only here in Glasgow. Last time I heard it was whilst serving on jury duty at the Sheriff Court aimed at the clerk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smell yer moh

Haha! Do you mean 'maw'?

Bloody autocarrot

I thought it was just a Leeds version of the worst phrase that's ever came out of Scotland! (Exluding fandabbydosy)

I’ve never heard it in Leeds - only here in Glasgow. Last time I heard it was whilst serving on jury duty at the Sheriff Court aimed at the clerk! "

'People make Glasgow' eh?

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 07/10/18 23:56:14]

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

“ I wouldn’t bonk that with YOUR cock”!

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Well arnt you just two scoops of Sh#t in a bowl full of C#nt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fannybaws.....a tame but withering Scottish insult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“ I wouldn’t bonk that with YOUR cock”! "

That’s kinda like “I wouldn’t touch that with yours”

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By *verageguy123Man
over a year ago

Selby

Dripping like a fried egg sandwich

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By *TT1983Man
over a year ago

leeds york

Be up there like a rat up a drain pipe

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"“ I wouldn’t bonk that with YOUR cock”!

That’s kinda like “I wouldn’t touch that with yours” "

Kinda, but different! Lol

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By *DreamOfGenieWoman
over a year ago

London

"I like the cut of their jib"

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"Dripping like a fried egg sandwich "

Blerp....!

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By *verageguy123Man
over a year ago

Selby

I’m so unlucky that if I fell in a bath full of tits i’d come out sucking my thumb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m so unlucky that if I fell in a bath full of tits i’d come out sucking my thumb"

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By *vcarolTV/TS
over a year ago

kilmarnockish


"Had more pricks than a second hand dart board "

Don’t I know it.

Anyway

Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

Always have a plan b

where the sun don’t shine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makes my shit itch is a personal favourite of mine

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"I’m so unlucky that if I fell in a bath full of tits i’d come out sucking my thumb"

. Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your depriving a village of its idiot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would rather a punch in the face, then a stab in the back!

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By *hispers-40Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

Never regret anything put it down to experience

Always smile it makes people think what you have been upto

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Keep your friends close and you enemies closer!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wrote a poem once that was all old expressions for having sex. I.e the Netflix and chill of now days

My favourite one was

Grope For Trout In A Peculiar River

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Happier than a dog with two cocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep your friends close and you enemies closer!! "

you'd rather stab someone in the back then punch them in the face!

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Occasionally heard at work- Its had less use than a nuns cunt

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Fabicide

Have it

Big spoon

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"Keep your friends close and you enemies closer!!

you'd rather stab someone in the back then punch them in the face! "

Keep them close so they can’t stab you in the back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's been ridden more than a rodeo. Made me laugh hearing that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep your friends close and you enemies closer!!

you'd rather stab someone in the back then punch them in the face!

Keep them close so they can’t stab you in the back! "

BUT WHAT IF THEY PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!?!?!?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep your friends close and you enemies closer!!

you'd rather stab someone in the back then punch them in the face!

Keep them close so they can’t stab you in the back!

BUT WHAT IF THEY PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!?!?!?!?"

Use the god old noggin to swing back. Shout heads up while doing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dryer than gandi's flip flop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck ya self with thick end of a trumpet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bolt ya fucken rocket

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

face like a well wanked dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't count your sex kittens before they watch

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

There it was, gone.

They're all the same some of them.

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Dryer than a nuns cunt hehe. Oh and better than a kick in the teeth x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Occasionally heard at work- Its had less use than a nuns cunt "

I hope you work in a library, or a church bookshop...

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Well fuck me sideways with a chainsaw!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're bringing a fart to a shitfight.

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By *amlee7986Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

Sweating like a priest on a r pe charge

Happy as a pig in shit

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By *amlee7986Couple
over a year ago

nottingham


"A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Or like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle..."

I like this one

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By *othrockercplCouple
over a year ago

Halloween Town

Like as not.

Ms GR

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By *amlee7986Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

Go on, have a good cry- you'll piss less

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By *irthy73Man
over a year ago

stourport

Heart like a swinging brick.

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

How difficult can it be?

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

He/she fell out of the ugly tree. And hit every branch on the way down!

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Looks like soft sis on a message

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

It was like that when I found it!

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By *irthy73Man
over a year ago

stourport

On it like a car bonnet.

On it like a tramp on chips.

Always on like a tramps coat.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"Occasionally heard at work- Its had less use than a nuns cunt

I hope you work in a library, or a church bookshop..."

Chief nun herder at the Vatican

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks a testicle with teeth

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

It's not politically correct but "grinning like a wanking jap" always makes me laugh.

Face like a slapped arse.

I wouldn't even shag that through a medium.

You're that old you owe Jesus five bone.

Either take a shit or get off the pot.

She goes like a belt fed wombat.

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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

Don't worry if plan A fails there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Happier than a dog with two cocks "

In a street full of lampposts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shaking like a shitting dog.

As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit.

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

Looks like the north side of a south facing cow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slower than a week in the jail

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

What the eye doesn't see, the foot trips over.

Wherever I lay my hat, that's my head.

Xxxxxx has a face like a bulldog licking the piss off a thistle.

Xxxxxx looks like they've been bobbing for chips in a deep fat fryer.

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By *hips n FursMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Like shit off a shovel

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By *J RHEAMan
over a year ago

S West

As much use as Anne Franks drum kit

That tangle of cables is like a snakes wedding

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By *J RHEAMan
over a year ago

S West

This is like trying to herd cats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt climb over you to get to her..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hair today gone tomorrow

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By *estivalMan
over a year ago

borehamwood

shaking like a dog having a shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't use his

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go on, have a good cry- you'll piss less "

I like that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“He scored a blinder”

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By *hedark_knightMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

“I’m gonna make like Tom and cruise”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three smooth women are worth two with a bush

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By *entileschiWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Build a bridge and fuck off over it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She was dripping like a George Foreman grill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A rod is good for a wank to a blind battleaxe

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Head like a bag of lego ...usually said when suffering from a bad hangover

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

Ride it like your late for mass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want to piss on your chips but....

As you were

Gobshite

Abso-fucking-lutely

Who put the sand in your knickers?

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By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

Had more bang's than a chippy door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had more bang's than a chippy door"

Hahaha, like that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cunthooks

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

Pisscan

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Worth a poke when the tv's broke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you know two thirds of fuck all."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't put all your unicorns in one basket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Worth a poke when the tv's broke"

Love this

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

Mouth like a rip in a welly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My two favs

Bring a tear to a glass eye

Had your chance, muffed it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My two favs

Bring a tear to a glass eye

Had your chance, muffed it! "

my cock is throbbing like a blind cobblers thumb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is what it is

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

Nipples like fighter pilots thumbs

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By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

It’s a bit Pearl Harboury outside.

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow


"It’s a bit Pearl Harboury outside. "
a nasty nip in the air?

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

Face like a welders bench

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Suck it up buttercup!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every cloud has a silver lining

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

6 of one half a dozen of another

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Bromley

I fiddle of gold against your soul says I’m better than you

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

As sure as eggs is eggs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well bugger me backwards Baldrick!

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Bromley

you are a pox and I am the cure

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

If you’ve been to Tenerife he’s been to elevenerif

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