FabSwingers.com forum: Bereavement counselling...

By *innie The Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Hi Fab Peeps,does anyone have any recent experience of bereavement/grief counselling?

I've accepted I need to sign up for some, can't stick my head in the sand indefinitely.

Apprehensive of what it actually involves?

Thanks all x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but have a kiss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did last year. I hated it, I knew why I was feeling the way I was feeling and it just didn’t help me much. It was nice to moan to someone who wouldn’t judge you or argue back with you however. My husband also received it this year (for the same reason I had it last year, it just took him a while to address his issues) and he found it helped a lot.

I hope you’re feeling happier and better soon xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amanthajonestsTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

Bereavement counselling can work but you should be prepa_ed for things to potentially feel worse before they feel better. I don't say that to put you off but because examining difficult things has an impact of it's own. Going into it with both eyes open to this helps. I hope you are able to get to where you want to be x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hug op

. And well done on confronting it. I think I buried a lot of it over the years. Not consciously. I guess I just had to get on with life. It has turned into a tension inside me that I'm now trying to resolve through things like yoga and meditation. I hope what you're doing works for you xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had counselling 10 years ago after I lost my mum, but I left it a while before I got it, thinking I had to be the "strong one" and keep everyone else afloat... almost left it too late, thankfully my best mate made me go. There wasnt a big revelation moment on how to cope with the loss, but I just found it a huge relief to talk to someone not emotionally attached to me so i didnt have to worry about upsetting them with my inner thoughts and feelings. Those sessions helped me a lot, and helped me cope with subsequent losses of my dad and earlier this year my cousin.

Sending you hugs and condolences for your loss x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had counselling for 12 months after losing my Mum and it really helped. You do have to find a counsellor that suits you, so don’t just accept the first one that you contact. It’s important to feel comfortable with them. I’d also check out their fees, because if you’ll be seeing them for a while they have to be affordable.

It will tell you online the professional bodies they can belong to and you can check that they are properly qualified.

I hope it helps x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

I had bereavement counselling after my wife died. It was set up by the police family liaison officer who was attached to me after her accident. I found it extremely helpful. It allowed me to express all of my grief with someone trained to deal with it, whereas my friends were supportive, but really didn’t know what to say, and many of them were also affected. He had all sorts of coping mechanisms, but also allowed me to understand that my grief and the physical manifestations of it were entirely normal, and that my feelings were both justified and expected. I highly recommend it. It certainly shortened the time that I was overwhelmed, and allowed me to ‘own’ my bereavement.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Fab Peeps,does anyone have any recent experience of bereavement/grief counselling?

I've accepted I need to sign up for some, can't stick my head in the sand indefinitely.

Apprehensive of what it actually involves?

Thanks all x"

It’s worth doing but you must remember it’s you that needs to cope with the personal issues you may have. The anger. When my son died he was five. I had to learn to stop having a go at parents when they shouted at their kids. At the moment I’m working towards becoming a councillor it’s very complex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any good counsellor will offer a free first session to discuss expectations, goals, time frame etc. Remember though, counsellors are there ultimately to listen and help you explore your feelings and emotions and address any issues. Good luck x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edMan
over a year ago

cambridgeshire

My dad needed counselling after losing my mum, but we couldn't get one and he saw a 'normal' stress type counsellor.

She was good, and the thing that she said that helped the most was he had to sit for 10 mins or so every evening and talk to mum, venting his grief at losing her I guess.

But .. it's different for everyone as the relationship is different, the nature of loss is too.

Might help

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itty Kat ABWoman
over a year ago

North Somerset

Cruise specialise in bereavement counselling but it would be worth researching local counsellors who also socialise in that area.

Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts for your journey.

Katie x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Thank you all so very much x

It really is appreciated

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's definitely a good option to pursue when you realize that you could do with some help and know it's an appropriate time for you.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing - you could possibly have some support in bursts, progressively, which is what I've done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

"Cruise specialise in bereavement counselling but it would be worth researching local counsellors who also socialise in that area.

Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts for your journey.

Katie x "

I was going to recommend Cuise too. Worth checking their website for a centre near you.

Also, I hope whatever route you go that you find support for your grief OP xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I had some light therapy (cb something) after the sudden death of my father. It didn't help but I wasn't keen on the guy and tbh I don't think I was ready to bare all to anyone.

So, well done for recognising that you need some support and I hope it helps you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also meant to say it might be worth checking (if applicable) if your employer has something like an Employee Assistance Programme as part of the employee benefits package... my employer at the time of my counselling did and this paid for all my sessions, there will usually be a set number of sessions you can have... but it will be a completely confidential service and they wont report back to your employer about the sessions or even that you attended.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowingMan
over a year ago

Warrington

In my experience, the more open to the whole process you can be, the better. As per other posts, a lot depends on your counsellor, ultimately you have to feel comfortable with them. Thing is, it is an unnatural situation. You are not going to feel comfortable enough to bare your soul with anyone in the time alloted

My advice... for your first session, be as matter if fact as you can. The aim is to get information across the table.... a bulk download. Worry about the process or the person for later

Best of luck...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never had a significant bereavement in my life so I have no experience of bereavement counselling, however having undergone significant personal transformations in my life and sought the assistance of a therapist to help me deal with unresolved emotional issues I can say that the process benefitted me significantly. It was timely, I chose it, and Imwas very much up for learning about myself through the process, so a I guess I was an ideal client. However I have to say that the therapist I finally chose based on recommendations from other trusted friends was excellent. She had a very creative approach and I loved every session, Baring my soul was easy because I felt truly safe in a loving supportive environment that she created with me. Choose wisely but the old adage of of you get out only as much as you’re willing to put in, holds true.

Wishing you the very best in dealing with your grief xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss.

A brave question to ask as people often feel uncomfortable talking about death and grief

My sister died 3 years ago and I have experimented with various things. Everyone is different and everyone’s grief is different.

Things that help me include -

- Talking openly to family, especially on anniversaries , and not being afraid to cry

- having pictures of happy memories

- visiting places that have positive memories (including grave which is in s v beautiful location)

-Book called Grief Works

- a podcast called Grief Cast (it is not as bleak as it sounds! It is organised by a comedian who interviews a different person in each episode they talk frankly and sometimes humorously about their experiences of loss and how they came to terms with it )

- a group Grief session organised at my workplace

Hope you find something that brings you peace xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread