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Dealing with Rejection on Fab...

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Mayfair

I’m usually a ‘lurker’ amongst the Forums and probably cautious when dipping into some of the discussions. But a recent post on here titled “The power and consequence of rejection” made me think of the idiosyncrasies of the wonderful world of Fab…

°

There are still those amongst us, in masses, who endeavour to do the ‘right thing’: carefully read a profile and send a hand-crafted message which is unique, polite, articulate and well-mannered, devoid of any text speak/slang/abbreviations, tailored to the sender’s profile, good-natured but still normal and natural with a clear unadulterated facial photograph attached. The intention being to introduce oneself and start the gentle journey of meeting people and not just expecting a jack-in-the-box instant shag.

°

What happens next is the message will remain unread for a long time - which is absolutely fine because we all have a life outside of Fab’ – and then get deleted in some cavalier fashion without being read. Such is life, it happens. I’ve learnt to accept it. I entered Fab’ with my eyes wide open and with a strong constitution to accept the rejection. No one owes me anything. It does however leave a feeling of bewilderment when that unread message is discarded and because I’m unable to work out where I went wrong and how I can adapt and improve. If at all. Sapiosexuality is one thing but sex appeal is another thing altogether: quite possibly the sender is ‘not-so-good-looking’ or doesn’t tick the correct ‘ethnic background’ box. Who knows. I know one thing: like most, my profile is far from perfect.

°

Alternatively the message is opened which leads to a reply of regret. Again that’s fine with me. Somebody took the time to reply. I’m humbled and grateful. Job done. Move on. Post-mortem not required.

°

The last situation is when the message is opened (presumed read) and deleted altogether with no reply. Once again, one becomes thick-skinned and accepts that. But it’s hard to accept the lack of civility. Especially when that message took quite some time to write because the sender had the good sense to stay away from the hackneyed cut-and-paste-template AND the recipient clearly stated that she is not interested in blag one-liners or “fancy a quick one” type of rhetoric.

°

Ladies, I really, wholeheartedly, completely understand the amount of vacuous crap and crass you all get sent and which floods your InBox. The 100’s of messages, the 1,000’s of unsolicited friend invites, the 10,000’s of pointless winks. You have every reason to be fucked off without compunction. There is no solution to this. I don’t pretend to have one.

°

It’s hard work trying to boil the ocean when all I want is a drop of the good stuff. I will continue to conform to the ways of Fab and accept the rejection. It’s all part of the game.

°

But one final thought for you ladies. When you delete a ‘hand crafted’ message after you read it with no reply, what you’ve done is demoted that person and thrown him into that same filthy waste bin filled with those very people that you were expecting the sender to stay far away from: those Johnny Cum Lately’s (sic) who wish to finger and fuck their way with dirty one-liners and pictures of their vulgar cocks shots reminiscent of yesterday’s roadkill.

°

The rejection is fine. The aftertaste of that *demotion* is sometimes unpalatable.

And now a smiley face just for the heck of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TLDR

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

But one final thought for you ladies. When you delete a ‘hand crafted’ message after you read it with no reply, what you’ve done is demoted that person and thrown him into that same filthy waste bin filled with those very people that you were expecting the sender to stay far away from: those Johnny Cum Lately’s (sic) who wish to finger and fuck their way with dirty one-liners and pictures of their vulgar cocks shots reminiscent of yesterday’s roadkill.

°

"

Or maybe it is your perception that is skewed?

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

I can understand that it is frustrating, however site rules are that it's not rude to delete without replying.

My profile quite clearly states how I filter through my messages (I don't get hundreds, maybe about 10 a day). If you don't match, I will delete. It really doesn't matter if you wrote a long, individual message.

I only reply with a decline if they do meet my filters, but for whatever reason I'm not interested.

Think of it like this. If you think it's rude by not replying, it's saved you potentially wasting time on someone who isn't compatible with you

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By *carlettVanillaWoman
over a year ago

Gloucesterish


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... "
This...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... "

Wise words every man should live by ..on fab anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we set up this profile we were inundated with messages, there's no way we could have replied to them all.

Nice and quiet now we've temporarily bodies single men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Disabled* Damn you autocorrect

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By *oul BrothaMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

War and Peace. The Fab version.

Rejection is a part of life. Use it, and grow from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... "

Absolutely agreed. No need for anything else to be said!

If she’s not interested she’s not interested, doesn’t matter what “pile” she has put you in by deleting your message with no reply, why would she care? She’s not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... This..."

Rubbish analogy. Completely unsolicited in this context means your not looking to meet or for anything sexual at all. If you have it on your profile you want to meet men/women then it's not completely unsolicited when people message you.

If you have on your profile that you want a take away, and then get a message from Dominoes it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer it's unsolicited.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I’m usually a ‘lurker’ amongst the Forums and probably cautious when dipping into some of the discussions. But a recent post on here titled “The power and consequence of rejection” made me think of the idiosyncrasies of the wonderful world of Fab…

°

There are still those amongst us, in masses, who endeavour to do the ‘right thing’: carefully read a profile and send a hand-crafted message which is unique, polite, articulate and well-mannered, devoid of any text speak/slang/abbreviations, tailored to the sender’s profile, good-natured but still normal and natural with a clear unadulterated facial photograph attached. The intention being to introduce oneself and start the gentle journey of meeting people and not just expecting a jack-in-the-box instant shag.

°

What happens next is the message will remain unread for a long time - which is absolutely fine because we all have a life outside of Fab’ – and then get deleted in some cavalier fashion without being read. Such is life, it happens. I’ve learnt to accept it. I entered Fab’ with my eyes wide open and with a strong constitution to accept the rejection. No one owes me anything. It does however leave a feeling of bewilderment when that unread message is discarded and because I’m unable to work out where I went wrong and how I can adapt and improve. If at all. Sapiosexuality is one thing but sex appeal is another thing altogether: quite possibly the sender is ‘not-so-good-looking’ or doesn’t tick the correct ‘ethnic background’ box. Who knows. I know one thing: like most, my profile is far from perfect.

°

Alternatively the message is opened which leads to a reply of regret. Again that’s fine with me. Somebody took the time to reply. I’m humbled and grateful. Job done. Move on. Post-mortem not required.

°

The last situation is when the message is opened (presumed read) and deleted altogether with no reply. Once again, one becomes thick-skinned and accepts that. But it’s hard to accept the lack of civility. Especially when that message took quite some time to write because the sender had the good sense to stay away from the hackneyed cut-and-paste-template AND the recipient clearly stated that she is not interested in blag one-liners or “fancy a quick one” type of rhetoric.

°

Ladies, I really, wholeheartedly, completely understand the amount of vacuous crap and crass you all get sent and which floods your InBox. The 100’s of messages, the 1,000’s of unsolicited friend invites, the 10,000’s of pointless winks. You have every reason to be fucked off without compunction. There is no solution to this. I don’t pretend to have one.

°

It’s hard work trying to boil the ocean when all I want is a drop of the good stuff. I will continue to conform to the ways of Fab and accept the rejection. It’s all part of the game.

°

But one final thought for you ladies. When you delete a ‘hand crafted’ message after you read it with no reply, what you’ve done is demoted that person and thrown him into that same filthy waste bin filled with those very people that you were expecting the sender to stay far away from: those Johnny Cum Lately’s (sic) who wish to finger and fuck their way with dirty one-liners and pictures of their vulgar cocks shots reminiscent of yesterday’s roadkill.

°

The rejection is fine. The aftertaste of that *demotion* is sometimes unpalatable.

And now a smiley face just for the heck of it

"

OP you seem a very sensitive type of person, is this really the site for you if you get upset over an unread deleted or a read then deleted message? For anyone (including femmes) choosing to find the right playmate Fab is a challenge. Chin up OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don't take it personal .. Single ladies and couples get bombarded with a huge amount of messages.. Some of the ones I've met and have played with get literally 100's of messages a day.How can they possibly read them all ... Do you read all your Spam emails ?... I certainly don't.. Learn to just take is on the chin and it's no problem.. I wouldn't dwell on it .. Gosh if I had a pound for every message that I have sent and didn't get a response to I would be a very rich man.

Keep sending those polite and respectful messages aimed at the recipient and the rewards will come. I notice you have had two meets. That's more than most single men on here.

Get yourself to a club or a local social and let them see you and chat to you. Happy Fabbing sir and keep smiling.. People will wonder what you're up to.. lol

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By *cousesubsallyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there


"...

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... "

This everyone reads/fields/deletes messages differently, don’t take it to heart or personally, the right ones will read and respond eventually.

As an aside, I had to google what sapiosexuality was, think that discounts be from ever being sapiosexy

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By *riefcase_WankerMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

The only one that mildly bothers me is the one that gets left unread and undeleted...because you're not sure if they simply never got round to reading it (and therefore should you potentially risk sending another one) or did they read it, checked you out, didn't like what they saw, but don't want to invite abuse or any other shit by deleting, so they mark it unread...

I assume the latter and leave 'em alone. I'd rather potentially miss out than potentially be a creep

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... "

To be fair I don’t think it’s quite the same as something like unsolicited mail from Dominos.

Woman have signed up to Fab, posted some details about themselves, stated their preferences in their profile.... so I would say that was definitely an invitation to be approached by way of a message. If no-one message me anyone because doing so was deemed to be unsolicited, then it would kinds defeat the purpose of the site.

Having said that, and to be fair, it is also true that women are under no obligation to reply. The fact probably is simply that even the best handcrafted, original and relevant message still needs to stand out from all the other decent, handcrafted, original and relevant messages. And maybe have a photo that catches someone’s eye. Or just have a certain turn of phrase that raises a smile, or whatever.

At the end of the day, when messaging someone who doesn’t know you from Adam, then in all probability the chance’s are they’re not going to be interested. Women have the advantage of being able to be as picky as they like (well, not necessarily picky, just have the preferences they do), and so have every right to reply when and to whom they please.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Why is it like this because no-one gives a shit about how anyone else feels sad but true. We are all just a throw away commodity whether thats at the beginning of this journey or the end. We are all just one of many a number to be tossed aside at any given time. If you cant beat them you have to join them its the only way.

Good luck

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By *uthless!Woman
over a year ago

somewhere close to you


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder...

To be fair I don’t think it’s quite the same as something like unsolicited mail from Dominos.

Woman have signed up to Fab, posted some details about themselves, stated their preferences in their profile.... so I would say that was definitely an invitation to be approached by way of a message. If no-one message me anyone because doing so was deemed to be unsolicited, then it would kinds defeat the purpose of the site.

Having said that, and to be fair, it is also true that women are under no obligation to reply. The fact probably is simply that even the best handcrafted, original and relevant message still needs to stand out from all the other decent, handcrafted, original and relevant messages. And maybe have a photo that catches someone’s eye. Or just have a certain turn of phrase that raises a smile, or whatever.

At the end of the day, when messaging someone who doesn’t know you from Adam, then in all probability the chance’s are they’re not going to be interested. Women have the advantage of being able to be as picky as they like (well, not necessarily picky, just have the preferences they do), and so have every right to reply when and to whom they please."
Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... This...

Rubbish analogy. Completely unsolicited in this context means your not looking to meet or for anything sexual at all. If you have it on your profile you want to meet men/women then it's not completely unsolicited when people message you.

If you have on your profile that you want a take away, and then get a message from Dominoes it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer it's unsolicited. "

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By *cousesubsallyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there


"The only one that mildly bothers me is the one that gets left unread and undeleted...because you're not sure if they simply never got round to reading it (and therefore should you potentially risk sending another one) or did they read it, checked you out, didn't like what they saw, but don't want to invite abuse or any other shit by deleting, so they mark it unread...

I assume the latter and leave 'em alone. I'd rather potentially miss out than potentially be a creep"

I’m guilty as charged of that will start deleting from now on, although in my defence I hadn’t quite thought that something may be read into it not being deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've only been on 5 months OP. You'll either eventually grow thicker skin or start regular threads on similar themes!

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull

If I perceive the message to be genuinely thought out and well written, I will always respond.

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

I can sort of understand where the OP's coming from as I get frustrated when we've started a message thread and my ramblings and open ended sentences get met with one word answers and no other questions posed by the other party and it comes as no surprise that our interest wanes quite quickly. But back to the point in hand...Our profile has an update right at the top and since it's been up we've still got about 30 messages in our inbox all asking for a meet and there's probably only two that I'll send a polite refusal to but that's only because they've made an effort and most importantly, made me smile while reading it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree OP and that's why I reply to all first messages, because I think it's rude not to.

I also think that after a while men get pissed off with writing special messages and having them deleted with no reply, so that's why they just say "hi" - why bother writing a special message for it to be ignored?!

I am a human being and want to be treated like one. So I treat people how I'd like to be treated.

If people are happy treating other people like pieces of disposable meat, they shouldn't get upset when others do the same to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't delete messages without replying-not on purpose anyway.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"If I perceive the message to be genuinely thought out and well written, I will always respond. "

Yes this

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt

How long should messages be? Word count?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I perceive the message to be genuinely thought out and well written, I will always respond.

Yes this "

If I promise to write more than 2 lines, throwing the odd impressive word, will you guarantee to shag me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... This...

Rubbish analogy. Completely unsolicited in this context means your not looking to meet or for anything sexual at all. If you have it on your profile you want to meet men/women then it's not completely unsolicited when people message you.

If you have on your profile that you want a take away, and then get a message from Dominoes it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer it's unsolicited. "

I’d be a bit concerned if Dominoes were looking at everyone’s profile to see if people want a take-away. I won’t instantly delete the ‘do you want a 12” thick and crispy with extra cheese’ messages now...

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Mayfair

Thanks for all your comments. I'll take them all on board

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull


"If I perceive the message to be genuinely thought out and well written, I will always respond.

Yes this

If I promise to write more than 2 lines, throwing the odd impressive word, will you guarantee to shag me? "

Only if you bend over prettily enough.

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By *onny69sMan
over a year ago

Donny

Thick skin needed old chap. If you send a message delete it straight away from your sent box that way you don't know what's happened unless you get a reply.

99% of the time ladies and couples know what and who they are looking for and you know as single guys we are 10 a penny.

Clubs and socials are the way forward if you really want to make friends or more.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We recently tested the waters and selected 10 single female profiles and sent eaxh a handcrafted message including face photo and waited to see what if anything would happen. 2 deleted with 24 hours (block and move on), 2 replied and we are chatting to them now about meeting, the remaining 6 are unread we will eventually delete said face photo from those messages and block. We don't expect a reply to any message we send and block any that say no thanks or don't respond it makes it easier to find those that are interested in us.

Life on Fab is simple and fun, simples

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By *riefcase_WankerMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"The only one that mildly bothers me is the one that gets left unread and undeleted...because you're not sure if they simply never got round to reading it (and therefore should you potentially risk sending another one) or did they read it, checked you out, didn't like what they saw, but don't want to invite abuse or any other shit by deleting, so they mark it unread...

I assume the latter and leave 'em alone. I'd rather potentially miss out than potentially be a creep

I’m guilty as charged of that will start deleting from now on, although in my defence I hadn’t quite thought that something may be read into it not being deleted "

I totally get why women would do that - it seems even deleting a message seems to act as an invitation to bombard them with messages for some guys, so I understand the rationale...just from a purely selfish perspective it means as a chap you're in limbo - are you just at the bottom of a very big pile, or are you rejected and you don't even know it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... This...

Rubbish analogy. Completely unsolicited in this context means your not looking to meet or for anything sexual at all. If you have it on your profile you want to meet men/women then it's not completely unsolicited when people message you.

If you have on your profile that you want a take away, and then get a message from Dominoes it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer it's unsolicited.

I’d be a bit concerned if Dominoes were looking at everyone’s profile to see if people want a take-away. I won’t instantly delete the ‘do you want a 12” thick and crispy with extra cheese’ messages now... "

Hate to break it to you but most of our Internet history is probably used and sold on to third parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’re on this website to fuck, not catch feelings. If we don’t get a reply we move in, we don’t sit there thinking why? Your up against ALOT of men on this site, sad fact is women have their choice, hell we even struggle but we know what we’re looking for so just send a simple message. No one likes big essays. I get what your on about can be frustrating not getting replies but it’s life, we move on until that right kinky sexy bitch comes our way. You should try sex clubs, best thing we actually come across since we are on fab. Brilliant place to meet people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... This...

Rubbish analogy. Completely unsolicited in this context means your not looking to meet or for anything sexual at all. If you have it on your profile you want to meet men/women then it's not completely unsolicited when people message you.

If you have on your profile that you want a take away, and then get a message from Dominoes it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer it's unsolicited.

I’d be a bit concerned if Dominoes were looking at everyone’s profile to see if people want a take-away. I won’t instantly delete the ‘do you want a 12” thick and crispy with extra cheese’ messages now...

Hate to break it to you but most of our Internet history is probably used and sold on to third parties.

"

So we should be putting disclaimers on for other organisations instead of just Sydney University

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough


"If I perceive the message to be genuinely thought out and well written, I will always respond. "

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"The only one that mildly bothers me is the one that gets left unread and undeleted...because you're not sure if they simply never got round to reading it (and therefore should you potentially risk sending another one) or did they read it, checked you out, didn't like what they saw, but don't want to invite abuse or any other shit by deleting, so they mark it unread...

I assume the latter and leave 'em alone. I'd rather potentially miss out than potentially be a creep"

I have to admit to the going back and marking as unread.

Normally it's from a couple and I don't look regularly at couples profiles.

Personally, I'd say don't message again. They'll contact you when they're ready (or bulk delete).

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London


"Do you reply to Dominoes to say ‘no thanks’ every time they send you unsolicited mail?

Same rules apply here...they haven’t asked YOU to contact them, so you can’t be disappointed in them not replying

Or

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... This...

Rubbish analogy. Completely unsolicited in this context means your not looking to meet or for anything sexual at all. If you have it on your profile you want to meet men/women then it's not completely unsolicited when people message you.

If you have on your profile that you want a take away, and then get a message from Dominoes it's not completely unsolicited. If on the other hand you have made no mention that you need food and then receive said offer it's unsolicited.

I’d be a bit concerned if Dominoes were looking at everyone’s profile to see if people want a take-away. I won’t instantly delete the ‘do you want a 12” thick and crispy with extra cheese’ messages now...

Hate to break it to you but most of our Internet history is probably used and sold on to third parties.

So we should be putting disclaimers on for other organisations instead of just Sydney University "

Well, if you think they’re worth the paper they’re figuratively written on...

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"If I perceive the message to be genuinely thought out and well written, I will always respond.

Yes this

If I promise to write more than 2 lines, throwing the odd impressive word, will you guarantee to shag me? "

If you can play the guitar its very likely

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I have to say OP your thread opener was a pleasure to read and most of it very true!

If someone has taken the time to compose a message befitting of my profile I will reply, even if it’s a polite no. Unfortunately most of my message as of few words, often arrogant and riddled with text speak I abhor.

I understand your disdain at being ‘demoted’ but this is a place where such is bound to happen ...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Honestly, this is one area where the bad do actually ruin it for the good.

I only reply if I'm interested, generally. Because when I first joined I tried to let people down gently. Regardless of the message (x plus cock shot all the way through to hand crafted but not for me) I'd often get abuse back if I said no (I was never rude, far from it). And replying breaks my filters.

I understand it can be tough, but unfortunately, for me, avoiding abuse trumps other people's feelings here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an optimist. Those messages I send that are long-term unread, I like to think have been read, marked as unread to come back to later, and that I'm on the "maybe" pile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Just don’t check your sent messages and get on with life. Then you never need to wonder... "

This !

I delete my messages as soon as they are sent

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Magherafelt


"I have to say OP your thread opener was a pleasure to read and most of it very true!

If someone has taken the time to compose a message befitting of my profile I will reply, even if it’s a polite no. Unfortunately most of my message as of few words, often arrogant and riddled with text speak I abhor.

I understand your disdain at being ‘demoted’ but this is a place where such is bound to happen ... "

Hear hear!

I don’t think we’re giving the OP enough credit on how eloquently he has described what we men face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Honestly, this is one area where the bad do actually ruin it for the good.

I only reply if I'm interested, generally. Because when I first joined I tried to let people down gently. Regardless of the message (x plus cock shot all the way through to hand crafted but not for me) I'd often get abuse back if I said no (I was never rude, far from it). And replying breaks my filters.

"

Howso? If they mailed you, they can mail you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say OP your thread opener was a pleasure to read and most of it very true!

If someone has taken the time to compose a message befitting of my profile I will reply, even if it’s a polite no. Unfortunately most of my message as of few words, often arrogant and riddled with text speak I abhor.

I understand your disdain at being ‘demoted’ but this is a place where such is bound to happen ...

Hear hear!

I don’t think we’re giving the OP enough credit on how eloquently he has described what we men face."

It's the internet. What do you expect?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Honestly, this is one area where the bad do actually ruin it for the good.

I only reply if I'm interested, generally. Because when I first joined I tried to let people down gently. Regardless of the message (x plus cock shot all the way through to hand crafted but not for me) I'd often get abuse back if I said no (I was never rude, far from it). And replying breaks my filters.

Howso? If they mailed you, they can mail you?"

If a guy messages me, I reply, then I put on the "no single guys" filter, they can message me again. For friends I don't mind. For someone I said no to, I mind very much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely "

Someone actually used this line on me when I didn’t reply stating how he took time out of his day to send a personalised message to me...

I had to remind him that he sent the same copy & paste message to me weeks before. Oops!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Honestly, this is one area where the bad do actually ruin it for the good.

I only reply if I'm interested, generally. Because when I first joined I tried to let people down gently. Regardless of the message (x plus cock shot all the way through to hand crafted but not for me) I'd often get abuse back if I said no (I was never rude, far from it). And replying breaks my filters.

Howso? If they mailed you, they can mail you?

If a guy messages me, I reply, then I put on the "no single guys" filter, they can message me again. For friends I don't mind. For someone I said no to, I mind very much. "

Ok I get what you mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldnt be arsed to read it all. But it's all in the FAQ's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely

Someone actually used this line on me when I didn’t reply stating how he took time out of his day to send a personalised message to me...

I had to remind him that he sent the same copy & paste message to me weeks before. Oops! "

He needs more glitter stars in it so it bursts when you open it

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Mayfair


"I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely "

Well, it was either that or take a photograph of my cock, cut it up into geometric pieces and make a collage out of it.

Either way the effect would have been the same.

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Mayfair


"Couldnt be arsed to read it all. But it's all in the FAQ's.

"

I just noticed your very LONG profile narrative. I read it all. Do I get that gold star?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely "

Love that! Great analogy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Couldnt be arsed to read it all. But it's all in the FAQ's.

I just noticed your very LONG profile narrative. I read it all. Do I get that gold star?

"

The best you can hope for is the cuppa that you made yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just delete your sent messages, can't check then and you'll never know. You may even get a surprise reply.

I had one 6 months after sending a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely

Well, it was either that or take a photograph of my cock, cut it up into geometric pieces and make a collage out of it.

Either way the effect would have been the same.

"

Could have been a jigsaw cock. We have to reconstruct

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Well OP. This thread has actually changed my thought process. So today a guy sent me a well thought out message and had read my profile. So where as before I would have pressed unread...yep I replied so you never know. Thanks for the thought provoking moment x

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By *ugga MannMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

The most annoying thing for me is that the message remains unread and just stays there, festering.

I would much rather the bloody thing be deleted as a way of saying no than it just remain unread. At least that way I get a decision and can abandon any hopenof a reply.

So ladies, please, if the answer is no, please let us know by either replying or at the very least deleting!

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Couldnt be arsed to read it all. But it's all in the FAQ's.

"

Me either. FFS, it’s just delete and block. Equals not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"TLDR"

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The most annoying thing for me is that the message remains unread and just stays there, festering.

I would much rather the bloody thing be deleted as a way of saying no than it just remain unread. At least that way I get a decision and can abandon any hopenof a reply.

So ladies, please, if the answer is no, please let us know by either replying or at the very least deleting!

Thank you "

No reply means not interested and the lady is under no obligation to reply. You’ll be one in a million messages to her and unfortunately she may not have time to reply to them all

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I can understand your frustration op, but as amply stated, the ability to shrug off rejection is essential for a positive experience here, much like not having strong feelings of jealously or possessiveness.

The laws that govern attraction often times are illogical. I've seen profiles that aren't stellar by any stretch but have a good number of veris, and others that seem to do everything right on the surface that have none.

Really the best way is to get yourself to organised socials and clubs as its a great way of networking. Fab is a relatively small community where many people end up hearing of each other by proxy. The more people you've met or know, the easier it becomes i've found

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By *ugga MannMan
over a year ago

Heathrow


"The most annoying thing for me is that the message remains unread and just stays there, festering.

I would much rather the bloody thing be deleted as a way of saying no than it just remain unread. At least that way I get a decision and can abandon any hopenof a reply.

So ladies, please, if the answer is no, please let us know by either replying or at the very least deleting!

Thank you

Then delete it. That way I get the message. Most don’t. It’s rude.

No reply means not interested and the lady is under no obligation to reply. You’ll be one in a million messages to her and unfortunately she may not have time to reply to them all "

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By *eroLondon OP   Man
over a year ago

Mayfair


"TLDR

"

Would you like an abridged version?

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By *kmale201633Man
over a year ago

Southampton

If the lady you send the handcrafted message to deletes it then she isn't interested in you. If she sends a message back saying sorry I'm not interested then it still ends in the same result! So why does a reply matter?!

Could you be bothered to send 20/30 (plucking numbers here) or even just 10 'thanks but no thanks' messages every day? Which then lead to more replies....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the lady you send the handcrafted message to deletes it then she isn't interested in you. If she sends a message back saying sorry I'm not interested then it still ends in the same result! So why does a reply matter?!

Could you be bothered to send 20/30 (plucking numbers here) or even just 10 'thanks but no thanks' messages every day? Which then lead to more replies...."

I think some just like the idea of the little yellow box that says (1 unread) when they refresh Fab.

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By *kmale201633Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"If the lady you send the handcrafted message to deletes it then she isn't interested in you. If she sends a message back saying sorry I'm not interested then it still ends in the same result! So why does a reply matter?!

Could you be bothered to send 20/30 (plucking numbers here) or even just 10 'thanks but no thanks' messages every day? Which then lead to more replies....

I think some just like the idea of the little yellow box that says (1 unread) when they refresh Fab. "

Clicking refresh over and over doesn't work...so I've been told haha

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If the lady you send the handcrafted message to deletes it then she isn't interested in you. If she sends a message back saying sorry I'm not interested then it still ends in the same result! So why does a reply matter?!

Could you be bothered to send 20/30 (plucking numbers here) or even just 10 'thanks but no thanks' messages every day? Which then lead to more replies....

I think some just like the idea of the little yellow box that says (1 unread) when they refresh Fab. "

I love the lack of yellow. It's amazing and rare.

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown


"I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely "

I love the idea of that

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

I also delete my msgs as soon as i

send them so have no idea if been read

or not and know that no reply is a reply

no matter how well written they were.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the lady you send the handcrafted message to deletes it then she isn't interested in you. If she sends a message back saying sorry I'm not interested then it still ends in the same result! So why does a reply matter?!

Could you be bothered to send 20/30 (plucking numbers here) or even just 10 'thanks but no thanks' messages every day? Which then lead to more replies....

I think some just like the idea of the little yellow box that says (1 unread) when they refresh Fab. "

Ah is THAT the colour the little message box goes when you get a message!? One day I’d like to find out ...

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By *rickyd72Man
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Why is it like this because no-one gives a shit about how anyone else feels sad but true. We are all just a throw away commodity whether thats at the beginning of this journey or the end. We are all just one of many a number to be tossed aside at any given time. If you cant beat them you have to join them its the only way.

Good luck "

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By *rickyd72Man
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I agree OP and that's why I reply to all first messages, because I think it's rude not to.

I also think that after a while men get pissed off with writing special messages and having them deleted with no reply, so that's why they just say "hi" - why bother writing a special message for it to be ignored?!

I am a human being and want to be treated like one. So I treat people how I'd like to be treated.

If people are happy treating other people like pieces of disposable meat, they shouldn't get upset when others do the same to them. "
How very true.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We try to reply to all messages even if it’s only to say no thanks but best of luck. Sometimes we then get persistent pestering which normally ends up in a block. Harsh but effective.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

You a salty fucker why are you so special lot of people get multiple messages daily your only going to reply to the 1 or 2 that catch your eye..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Folk like to fuck and fornicate, but they don't always like to extend it to being intimate.

So a letter that is thoughtful and considerate etc. Is sometimes just already too intimate.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We try to reply to all messages even if it’s only to say no thanks but best of luck. Sometimes we then get persistent pestering which normally ends up in a block. Harsh but effective."

The ‘persistent pestering brigade’ think ‘it’s a sex site ffs’ and think women are here to just have sex with anyone.....entitled men and it’s a right turn off.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Rejection on fab is part of the course

I have learnt now to not even look at sent items. I know I am not everyone’s tastes

Luckily I meet people in club scene and talk to them on here; it is very rare that i will meet someone on here away from club scene

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster


"I love the hand crafted analogy for a message. Sitting there with scissors and pretty coloured words ready to glue them into something lovely "

Back in the day... this would have been a ransom note

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the lady you send the handcrafted message to deletes it then she isn't interested in you. If she sends a message back saying sorry I'm not interested then it still ends in the same result! So why does a reply matter?!

Could you be bothered to send 20/30 (plucking numbers here) or even just 10 'thanks but no thanks' messages every day? Which then lead to more replies....

I think some just like the idea of the little yellow box that says (1 unread) when they refresh Fab.

Ah is THAT the colour the little message box goes when you get a message!? One day I’d like to find out ... "

Hahaha! It is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We try to reply to all messages even if it’s only to say no thanks but best of luck. Sometimes we then get persistent pestering which normally ends up in a block. Harsh but effective.

The ‘persistent pestering brigade’ think ‘it’s a sex site ffs’ and think women are here to just have sex with anyone.....entitled men and it’s a right turn off. "

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Folk like to fuck and fornicate, but they don't always like to extend it to being intimate.

So a letter that is thoughtful and considerate etc. Is sometimes just already too intimate."

That does happen, if it's someone I'm not interested in. I think short and sweet is best for a first message, and witty works best of all.

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