FabSwingers.com forum: Jealousy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought swingers didn't get jealous

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Have you been turned down again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous"

Be a naughty woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. What else would it be?

Even swingers get jealous and/ or cheat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous"

That’s definitely an urban myth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm what

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you say that people's jealousy of others attracting the attention of their partner is due to low self esteem and the fear that their partner might realise how rubbish they are and leave them for a better option? "
Hey jealousy in relationships is the major factor here in communication breakdowns and the cause of couples in this life breaking up, jealousy is a very common factor in much of this lifestyle and everyone has that emotion

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

It's why I refuse to swing with my imaginary friend

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

That's insecurity, not jealousy.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Nah, it's 'cos I'm a greedy attention whore and I want ALL their attention, ALL the time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get insecure without a doubt as much as I am told not too however if I do feel like that I make my feelings known and do not hide them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging for us takes away the jealousy as we can do what we want when we want as long as we agree

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous"

Oh, they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous

That’s definitely an urban myth.

Lol i know..i was being facetious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On fab? Or in day to day life?

And I wouldn’t say that’s jealously, I’d say that was someone being insecure.

I’d hate to feel that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, it's 'cos I'm a greedy attention whore and I want ALL their attention, ALL the time!

This is me

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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

i wouln't say that's the definitive cause of jealousy in swinging but I am sure it is with a lot of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love when my wife gets attention from other men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, it's 'cos I'm a greedy attention whore and I want ALL their attention, ALL the time!

This is me

Sounds a bit too full on for a swingers lifestyle

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous

Oh, they do.

It's not an emotion I possess.

I do have insecurities, left over from years of a traumatic relationship, but jealousy is most definitely not one of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On fab? Or in day to day life?

And I wouldn’t say that’s jealously, I’d say that was someone being insecure.

I’d hate to feel that way"

I am only talking about myself here but if I didn't feel like that it would mean that person didn't mean anything to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get jealous on fab. I have one close female fab friend, and if one of us is interested in someone that the other thinks is cute or whatever, instead of jealousy coming into it we just congratulate each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On fab? Or in day to day life?

And I wouldn’t say that’s jealously, I’d say that was someone being insecure.

I’d hate to feel that way

I am only talking about myself here but if I didn't feel like that it would mean that person didn't mean anything to me "

Oh I adore my husband and of course I never want to lose him - but I also know that he feels the same way about me. I’m insecure in other ways, but when it comes to my partner, not at all.

But I’m unsure if this OP is meaning in swinging terms, marriage, vanilla relationships etc

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It's tough.

When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.

I'm confident in who I am, what I believe in and that overall I'm a good person, however I do have insecurities yes, it can lead to a touch of jealousy. Not the kind of jealousy you may think though, it's more of a "wish I was there to share this with you" than "I don't want you to have that"

Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.

I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"

We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's tough.

When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.

Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.

I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"

We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum."

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"Jealousy, turning saints into the sea"

Swimming through sick lullabies

Favourite song

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's tough.

When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.

Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.

I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"

We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum."

Oh Peach

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess I wonder if jealousy is rooted in insecurity or if it's something more positive than that, like the guy earlier who said if he wasn't a bit jealous it would mean he didn't care.

The thread was provoked by a moment earlier where a gorgeous woman walked into the cafe with a err not so gorgeous guy. Her and I met eyes and smiled. Then I looked over to him and got a stiff glare back and he positioned himself so that his back was to me and I couldn't see his Mrs. I just thought all that came from the stance of seeing me as a threat and wondered if this was a common thing for not so sexy partners of very sexy people

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"It's tough.

When you've had the life beaten out of you by someone who was supposed to protect you it kinda knocks the wind out of your sails.

Unless the "that" in question is a connection of the mind. If that's the "that" then not only would I get jealous I'd probably also be heartbroken.

I'm not afraid to admit that although I'm an 'ard nut I do need reassurance, and pathetic and insignificant as it may seem to others, to know I'm viewed as "the favourite"

We all carry scars and that's one of mine, borne out of years of being made to feel unworthy and not good enough, undeserving and pretty much pond scum.

Oh Peach

Is what it is ain't it. I'm sure one day I'll be right in the noggin, but until that point I'll always be praying "please don't look at them with the same eye twinkle"

I need the eye twinkle to be the thing that's reserved for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course

)

But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.

These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course

)

But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.

These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that

Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course

)

But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.

These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that

Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.

You remind me of me so much sometimes!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course

)

But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.

These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that

Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.

You remind me of me so much sometimes! "

You're a fucked up awesome twat too?

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"Love when my wife gets attention from other men"

This is what D says to.. I don’t understand it myself..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course

)

But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.

These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that

Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.

You remind me of me so much sometimes!

You're a fucked up awesome twat too?

I’ll take the awesome for now. I’m working on the rest though

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I'd never think they'd find out I was rubbish (I'm not of course

)

But I did worry in the past that I was never enough and got incredibly jealous. Ruined my relationship.

These days I'm far more chilled and if they want to run away then they are not worth my time and effort.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that

Thing is, I know I AM good enough, I know I'm a proper catch, that's why I get right on my own tits. I twist my own head up at times.

You remind me of me so much sometimes!

You're a fucked up awesome twat too?

I’ll take the awesome for now. I’m working on the rest though

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I guess I wonder if jealousy is rooted in insecurity or if it's something more positive than that, like the guy earlier who said if he wasn't a bit jealous it would mean he didn't care.

Yes, but she may have been a full blown histrionic (who, to feed their disorder are obsessed with their own looks and gaining approval) and torment him throwing herself at everyone who so much as smiles at her, making a naturally totally secure guy twitchy as hell. I know a couple just like that, he is kept on edge, but not without due cause.

I've had relationships with totally gorgeous men and never had a jealous thought with any because no-one ever gave me cause to - I knew they were smitten and faithful and I never even had to think about it.

I happen to like the obsessive, possessive, scorpio types - but I would never give them a moment's cause for concern either, I don't even look at other men when I am with someone.

It's quite natural to some people to be possessive and not want to share IMO - to be honest I think the swinging mentality is the unusual one.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

That's insecurity, not jealousy. "

This and if you are in anyway insecure, then swinging is not a good thing. IMO you have to have a very strong relationship to swing

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

That's insecurity, not jealousy. "

Are people confusing the two?

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

I can only say how or why jealousy manifests itself with me.

Basically with me, yes it is due to self-esteem and worrying that whomever I'm with will realise exactly how much of a fuck up I am, how vanilla I am, how boring I am. If they find someone who I think is closer to their needs, I worry that they will forget about me.

I'm getting better (although I think it's due to better communication between us (I'm talking about one specific fwb) and the fact that I've found a number of guys that can hold a conversation

so I'm not just focused on him).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I'm rubbish and there's always a better option.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I guess I wonder if jealousy is rooted in insecurity or if it's something more positive than that, like the guy earlier who said if he wasn't a bit jealous it would mean he didn't care.

I happen to like the obsessive, possessive, scorpio types - but I would never give them a moment's cause for concern either, I don't even look at other men when I am with someone.

It's quite natural to some people to be possessive and not want to share IMO - to be honest I think the swinging mentality is the unusual one."

Good points frisky

I hadn't thought of that. But now I think of it you're absolutely right. I suspect a lot of people with jealous partners have played at least a bit of a role in stoking that jealousy

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We havent ever been jealous so far and love watching the other play ,i think it would be time to leave if this changed.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous"

Don't be fooled, many do. It's very common to see when searching for a couple to play with.

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

I would say if there is any jealousy issues then you should be considering your future in swinging, the relationship comes before swinging.

Frank

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm not the jealous type in real life, and definitely not on here.

I've come across at least three on Fab here who have become needy and jealous.

I've tried to manage their expectations each time, but have ended up drawing a line under my meets with them as I don't need the mind games or the histrionics.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It's also worth reading up on Narcisstic Behaviour, it makes interesting if uncomfortable reading.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous

Don't be fooled, many do. It's very common to see when searching for a couple to play with."

Personally, having swung with my ex and felt no jealousy whatsoever, I'd actually quite like to be a little jealous if I did it again with someone. I think it would make it a bit kinkier and I'd feel a bit more like I was reacting normally. Having no jealousy was odd

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By *ightyandLeftyCouple
over a year ago

Funtown

We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.

I don't get jelous when she flirts.

The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.

That's only because I have no one to flirt with

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I dont think I would be great swinging with someone I was in love with. Maybe a fwb would be fine as I wouldn't have that emotional bond but even then Im not sure as Ive never tried. Secondly if any guy has anything left in them for another women as well...step forward

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

"We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.

I don't get jelous when she flirts.

The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.

That's only because I have no one to flirt with

This really touched me...

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By *ightyandLeftyCouple
over a year ago

Funtown

"We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.

I don't get jelous when she flirts.

The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.

That's only because I have no one to flirt with

This really touched me... "

Ha ha ha. Awww thanks

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

"We've only ever done MMF, I don't get jelous of that.

I don't get jelous when she flirts.

The only thing I get jelous of is my wife having friends she can flirt with.

That's only because I have no one to flirt with

This really touched me...

Ha ha ha. Awww thanks

Oh no wait that's just me looking at the wife's pics

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous

Don't be fooled, many do. It's very common to see when searching for a couple to play with.

Someone experiencing jealous pangs is understandable.

Someone agreeing on a lifestyle then becoming jealous and using that jealousy as a weapon to berate and try to control their partner isn't.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous"

Turns out he wasn't talking about swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think jealousy is borne of feeling insecure on a relationship. The only time I was jealous it was an already unsatisfactory relationship and it turned out I was correct to be.

I haven’t ever swung with anyone I really loved though, so I’ve never put my view of my own sexual security to the test.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"I thought swingers didn't get jealous

Turns out he wasn't talking about swingers. "

Insecurity then I would say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is a cigar called hamlet

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Is a cigar called hamlet"

No..that's a Shakespeare thing, surely...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Yes. What else would it be?

Even swingers get jealous and/ or cheat."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No jealously here! We do everything together including swinging. For us its all about each other, we love watching each other play and have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is a cigar called hamlet

No..that's a Shakespeare thing, surely...

Dont yoy ask me to shake my spear cos i will

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Is a cigar called hamlet

No..that's a Shakespeare thing, surely...

Dont yoy ask me to shake my spear cos i will"

....

well mind you don't hit that hamlet bloke..

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

No but you wouldn't like the proper answer since it involves evolutionary psychology.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No but you wouldn't like the proper answer since it involves evolutionary psychology. "

I don't like any answers that masquerade as "the proper answer"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A swinging partner I had was ok having MMF but when we swapped with a couple she wasn’t happy how I kissed the other lady. She said I was too into kissing the other lady concerned and said she wouldn’t see me again and we haven’t spoken since.

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