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"If you were in charge of the site what three things would you change? Mwah Ms GR " 3 things eh.. 1 - there was a built in bullshit detector 2 - you got a free pen with membership 3 - they should choose a couple that have met on fab and their them a spectacular wedding | |||
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"What kinda apples? It could be important!" Golden delicious... like the skin of my beloved. | |||
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"No" . | |||
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"Will you buy me a crimbo pressie "I don't do Xmas but as you asked so nicely, I'll donate you an odd socks from my collection. Please send address. | |||
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"Wanna see my plums?" Again? Go on then | |||
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"How many apples? " My weight worth. | |||
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"Will you buy me a crimbo pressie
I don't do Xmas but as you asked so nicely, I'll donate you an odd socks from my collection. Please send address."Only sniffable ones please. | |||
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"How many apples? My weight worth." Not many then | |||
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"Do you give love a bad name "Well I can be naughty, have an evil side, but I'm actually a very sweet and caring person. I love with my whole heart when I do and I like Bon Jovi. | |||
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"If I buy 4 apples and eat 3 then get guts ache and shit myself, how much change will I receive from the £5 I am carrying, if I pop into M&S for some replacement undies?" I didn't even read it coz it looked like maths | |||
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"I've only 1 question op fancy a fuck "I'm on the blob so I'd prefer chocolate right now | |||
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"Will you buy me a crimbo pressie
I don't do Xmas but as you asked so nicely, I'll donate you an odd socks from my collection. Please send address.
Only sniffable ones please. "Scratch n sniff coming up. | |||
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"I've only 1 question op fancy a fuck
I'm on the blob so I'd prefer chocolate right now "Dairy milk on way.  | |||
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"How many apples? My weight worth. Not many then "You'd be surprised, my forehead alone weighs a ton. | |||
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"I've only 1 question op fancy a fuck
I'm on the blob so I'd prefer chocolate right now
Dairy milk on way."Thank you. Please do NOT trick me with one that has fruit in. | |||
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"How many apples? My weight worth. Not many then
You'd be surprised, my forehead alone weighs a ton."I don't mind holding your hair  | |||
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"I've only 1 question op fancy a fuck
I'm on the blob so I'd prefer chocolate right now
Dairy milk on way.
Thank you. Please do NOT trick me with one that has fruit in."Nope strictly none of your 5 a day | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?" If a bumbee stung a bumbee on the bare bum,what colour would the bumbees bum be ? | |||
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"Will you buy me a crimbo pressie
I don't do Xmas but as you asked so nicely, I'll donate you an odd socks from my collection. Please send address."i dont doxmas either , i always go to Tenerife for 10 days Fancy coming ?  | |||
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"Princess Peachizzle, I have an embarrasing problem which I need your advice in dealing with. Can I steal your shoes? Or just borrow them for a while?" Of course, you may need to cut your feet in half though to get in them, and no leaving blood or scabs in them from said feet chopping | |||
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"How many apples? My weight worth. Not many then
You'd be surprised, my forehead alone weighs a ton.
I don't mind holding your hair "Tart | |||
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"What type of Princess are you " A fake one. I'm common as muck but I would love someone to see me as their princess. | |||
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"I've only 1 question op fancy a fuck
I'm on the blob so I'd prefer chocolate right now
Dairy milk on way.
Thank you. Please do NOT trick me with one that has fruit in.
Nope strictly none of your 5 a day "Thank you. I have real fruit if I wanted, not trickster fruit. | |||
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"How many apples? My weight worth. Not many then
You'd be surprised, my forehead alone weighs a ton.
I don't mind holding your hair
Tart"Guilty  | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? If a bumbee stung a bumbee on the bare bum,what colour would the bumbees bum be ?" Fuck knows, but I'm now picturing a bumble sword fight equivalent. A duel of the arse. | |||
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"Will you buy me a crimbo pressie
I don't do Xmas but as you asked so nicely, I'll donate you an odd socks from my collection. Please send address.
i dont doxmas either , i always go to Tenerife for 10 days
Fancy coming ? "I'll be working. Hurrah. That was a sarcastic hurrah. | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?" Why would you not grace me with a battle the other day scared? | |||
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"Which is the favourite of your pictures and why? " I honestly can't choose. My pics all have a story behind them, memories. They all have feeling in them too, some happy, some sexual as fuck and some where I'm confused to shit. | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Why would you not grace me with a battle the other day scared?" Nah, just didn't want to use up any lines I could think of I'm anyone other than Jaffa | |||
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"When a guy cums inside you do you actually feel the warm cum in any way or is it just about his energy of delight and feeling his squirting cock pulse? "I'm gonna say ... let a chappy spunk up yer fart pipe and see. Pulsing cock  ooooo I do like that | |||
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"When a guy cums inside you do you actually feel the warm cum in any way or is it just about his energy of delight and feeling his squirting cock pulse?
I'm gonna say ... let a chappy spunk up yer fart pipe and see.
Pulsing cock ooooo I do like that "Ok will do 
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No wait?!?  
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"If you were an animal what would you be? " Lioness | |||
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"What's the best way to shoplift an apple? " Eat it on the way round the supermarket | |||
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"Why are you so bossy?" I think you spelled pretty wrong. | |||
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"When a guy cums inside you do you actually feel the warm cum in any way or is it just about his energy of delight and feeling his squirting cock pulse?
I'm gonna say ... let a chappy spunk up yer fart pipe and see.
Pulsing cock ooooo I do like that
Ok will do
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No wait?!?
"Wimp. | |||
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"Should a man wipe back to front or else front to back? Also, how many penile wiggles after urination is acceptable before one is accused of playing with oneself? " Front to back. You want a shit nugget hanging from your sack? As many as it takes for droplets to fuck off. | |||
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"Wanna see my plums? Again? Go on then" Incoming - sorry about the bush | |||
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"This thread has got me in stitches. You’re straight to the top of my fucking hilarious people thread! " Why thank you. I'm quite sure my brain is wired slightly different from most, seems you're in the top percentile of those with humour. Welcome to the exclusive club of fun. | |||
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"Wanna see my plums? Again? Go on then Incoming - sorry about the bush "If you're lying I'll hunt you down and stab you with a spoon. | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?" are they bramley? | |||
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"Will I ever find true love Peachy? Will I die alone? How many questions can I ask you? I am aware those questions are about me me me." You're a lesbian now, you can ask as many as you want. I hope you will, and I hope you don't. My oracleness isn't strong today, but my well wishes are. | |||
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"What am i drinking right now lol" My piss | |||
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"Wanna see my plums? Again? Go on then Incoming - sorry about the bush
If you're lying I'll hunt you down and stab you with a spoon."Roooaaaarrrrrr | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?are they bramley?" No, they're golden delicious, like the skin of my beloved. Can't you read man? | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?" How long is a piece of string | |||
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"Which hand do you wipe your bum with?" Your tongue. The right hand, "it's ma strong hand" | |||
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"Wanna see my plums? Again? Go on then Incoming - sorry about the bush
If you're lying I'll hunt you down and stab you with a spoon.
Roooaaaarrrrrr "Juicy! | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?How long is a piece of string " I suggest you find a piece and measure it, there lies your answer. | |||
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"Which hand do you wipe your bum with? Your tongue. The right hand, "it's ma strong hand"" Hope you scrub it well afterwards. I use toilet paper  | |||
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"Which hand do you wipe your bum with? Your tongue. The right hand, "it's ma strong hand" Hope you scrub it well afterwards. I use toilet paper ""Watch out for ma fanny, fanny coming through" Smart arse. | |||
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"Which hand do you wipe your bum with? Your tongue. The right hand, "it's ma strong hand" Hope you scrub it well afterwards. I use toilet paper
"Watch out for ma fanny, fanny coming through"
Smart arse."Yeah... I still love ya though. Short arse. | |||
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"Which hand do you wipe your bum with? Your tongue. The right hand, "it's ma strong hand" Hope you scrub it well afterwards. I use toilet paper
"Watch out for ma fanny, fanny coming through"
Smart arse.
Yeah... I still love ya though.
Short arse."Good. | |||
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"A quick civil rights question: Do I have any legal grounds for appeal after the manager of my local Asda barred me for masturbating in the frozen aisle? " Was it a sly wank or wang out? No rights whatsoever however you should get royalties off whatever channel shows the cctv clip on "caught on camera" | |||
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"When am I getting my ice cream off you? " When I track you down on the train and have the ice cream van zooming down the tracks behind | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?" Can we take you out for ribs? | |||
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"A quick civil rights question: Do I have any legal grounds for appeal after the manager of my local Asda barred me for masturbating in the frozen aisle? Was it a sly wank or wang out? No rights whatsoever however you should get royalties off whatever channel shows the cctv clip on "caught on camera" " Oh, I was very discreet.....I merely pulled my trousers and pants down rather than taking them completely off. Maybe I’ll go and tug the ol’todger in Tesco’s; I hear they’re far more forward thinking | |||
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"Does excessive masturbating have any long term health effects?" Well, I've one arm like Popeye, need reading glasses and anxiety if the supermarket has no bananas. So yes. | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Can we take you out for ribs? "Come to me and we'll get them at a staff discount. | |||
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"What would the be the best way to illicit a response from you?" je ne parle pas anglais | |||
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"A quick civil rights question: Do I have any legal grounds for appeal after the manager of my local Asda barred me for masturbating in the frozen aisle? Was it a sly wank or wang out? No rights whatsoever however you should get royalties off whatever channel shows the cctv clip on "caught on camera" Oh, I was very discreet.....I merely pulled my trousers and pants down rather than taking them completely off. Maybe I’ll go and tug the ol’todger in Tesco’s; I hear they’re far more forward thinking "Try Jacks, the cheap Tesco. Less staff around to report ya. | |||
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"What’s the point of being honest if I offend people?" Depends on how it's said. You can be honest yet still show tact and thought. | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Can we take you out for ribs?
Come to me and we'll get them at a staff discount. "Yay lol best arrange this im pm | |||
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"What type of Princess are you A fake one. I'm common as muck but I would love someone to see me as their princess." That can be done | |||
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"When did you have your last KFC "Far too long ago  | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Can we take you out for ribs?
Come to me and we'll get them at a staff discount.
Yay lol best arrange this im pm "That means reading messages *shudder* | |||
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"What type of Princess are you A fake one. I'm common as muck but I would love someone to see me as their princess. That can be done" Excellent, if I give you the name of the person I want to see me that way will you cast a magic spell on him? | |||
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"Can you explain to me the basis of Krypto Currency valuation and what solidarity of physical capital is engineering these valuations? Cos I’m fucked if I know. AJ "Of course, it's the moon. | |||
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"Can you explain to me the basis of Krypto Currency valuation and what solidarity of physical capital is engineering these valuations? Cos I’m fucked if I know. AJ
Of course, it's the moon."Should I invest in cheese then? Aj | |||
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"29/03/18, where is that babydoll from? " Bondara I do believe | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Can we take you out for ribs?
Come to me and we'll get them at a staff discount.
Yay lol best arrange this im pm
That means reading messages *shudder*"Lol we will be nice i promise | |||
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"Can you explain to me the basis of Krypto Currency valuation and what solidarity of physical capital is engineering these valuations? Cos I’m fucked if I know. AJ
Of course, it's the moon.
Should I invest in cheese then?
Aj "Noooooo, you invest in mice you silly thing. Mice and clangers. | |||
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"Can you fit two people in a onesie? I'm figuring you're the only person I'm likely to know that may have tried this "Yes, yes you can. And yes, I know | |||
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"Where do babies come from?" Accidents mostly. | |||
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"Would Princess Peach eat peaches every day like the song?" If she remembered to purchase them then yes, she would. | |||
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 ( I understand you have no idea what I look like ) but thought I’d ask anyway | |||
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"Do I go platinum blonde (white) will have to start the process now in time for Xmas, will it make me look to old ( I understand you have no idea what I look like ) but thought I’d ask anyway "Ahhhh, I have this dilemma myself. If your bank balance can take it and you have the time to get it done then maybe. I'm not great at decision making. | |||
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"Which day of the week will Christmas day fall on this year?" One I'll be working. It's a Tuesday. | |||
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"Do I go platinum blonde (white) will have to start the process now in time for Xmas, will it make me look to old ( I understand you have no idea what I look like ) but thought I’d ask anyway
Ahhhh, I have this dilemma myself. If your bank balance can take it and you have the time to get it done then maybe.
I'm not great at decision making. "Yeah each session 6hr long it’s bad enough now with 3 hour sess  thanks anyway x | |||
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"What colour suit should i buy next" One like the emperor had. | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?" Let me spank that nice ass | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Let me spank that nice ass "That was not a question as there was no question mark. Denied. | |||
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"If a lady says to me; ‘Fuck you, I wouldn’t have sex with you if you were the last man on earth!’, does it mean she may fancy me? " If that woman is Jims mum then yes. | |||
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"What would you rather bee or a wasp " Myself or to hang out with? | |||
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"Which do you prefer shaven or waxed ? "Whichever the gives the other person the most confidence. | |||
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"I have a white corset. What colour ribbon should I buy? " Ooo oo yaaaaay I do like corsets. Whichever matches the shoes you'll be wearing or any accessories | |||
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"I have a white corset. What colour ribbon should I buy? " Black velvet (sorry PP) | |||
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"Can mice sing?" If you stand on their tail it sounds like it. | |||
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"Can mice sing? If you stand on their tail it sounds like it." Oh that's good, I thought I was hurting it. | |||
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"I have a white corset. What colour ribbon should I buy? Black velvet (sorry PP)" If you please. | |||
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"Can mice sing? If you stand on their tail it sounds like it. Oh that's good, I thought I was hurting it." You were helping showcase it's talents. Bravo. | |||
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"Is this Limescale I have around my penis head? Would Cillit Bang clear it up? " Are you in a hard water area? | |||
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"Nipple clamps or hot wax on your boobs?" Never tried wax so I'll opt for that one. | |||
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"Can I have a cuddle? " Always. Cuddles are underrated | |||
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"Can I have a cuddle? Always. Cuddles are underrated " Thank you. Should I have a nap? | |||
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"I have a white corset. What colour ribbon should I buy? Black velvet (sorry PP)" They don’t call you Sybarite for nothing. Good call! | |||
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"Can I have a cuddle? Always. Cuddles are underrated Thank you. Should I have a nap? " Always. Naps are underrated. Do you have a pet to cuddle with whilst napping? That would be the bollocks | |||
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"Can I have a cuddle? Always. Cuddles are underrated Thank you. Should I have a nap? Always. Naps are underrated. Do you have a pet to cuddle with whilst napping? That would be the bollocks " I do not. Unless I grab Hatter. Though I do have numerous teddies that are good for a snuggle. | |||
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"Is this Limescale I have around my penis head? Would Cillit Bang clear it up? Are you in a hard water area? " Yes indeed; But even so, should it give off the strange and decidedly repugnant smell that’s coming from it? I’m very sorry to ask you for advice on such a personal issue, but the random people I showed it to in the train station earlier just walked or ran away without comment.... | |||
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"Can I have a cuddle? Always. Cuddles are underrated Thank you. Should I have a nap? Always. Naps are underrated. Do you have a pet to cuddle with whilst napping? That would be the bollocks I do not. Unless I grab Hatter. Though I do have numerous teddies that are good for a snuggle. " Grab Hatter then swing by mine for tea. | |||
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"What would you rather bee or a wasp Myself or to hang out with?" Yourself? | |||
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"Can I have a cuddle? Always. Cuddles are underrated Thank you. Should I have a nap? Always. Naps are underrated. Do you have a pet to cuddle with whilst napping? That would be the bollocks I do not. Unless I grab Hatter. Though I do have numerous teddies that are good for a snuggle. Grab Hatter then swing by mine for tea." Oh we shall  | |||
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"Is this Limescale I have around my penis head? Would Cillit Bang clear it up? Are you in a hard water area? Yes indeed; But even so, should it give off the strange and decidedly repugnant smell that’s coming from it? I’m very sorry to ask you for advice on such a personal issue, but the random people I showed it to in the train station earlier just walked or ran away without comment...." Ahhh, I'm sure there's a guy on here called Dr Nick, I suggest hitting him up with a message. Are you sure it's your penis that has eau de bog of eternal stench, or have you got a mouldy rotting cockroach up your nose? | |||
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"You meet a new friend an he invites you to a party. Now when you arrive at the location there is a sign on the door saying 'all for you'. you go in inside there is your friend and two of his friends with there BBC's out and a king sized bed. What do you do? xx" Go find the dog and sit on the floor in the kitchen. That's normal for me at a party. | |||
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"What would you rather bee or a wasp Myself or to hang out with? Yourself?" I'll get back to you, I can't find my new eyeliner, so may have a meltdown in 5...4... | |||
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"What is the answer to life the universe and everything? " Not 42. | |||
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"What would you rather bee or a wasp Myself or to hang out with? Yourself? I'll get back to you, I can't find my new eyeliner, so may have a meltdown in 5...4..." Found it. Right, bees are useful happy little fuckers who fight to the death for something. That's like me. Wasps can be nasty for no reason, they loiter around like a bad smell. I'm a bit of both so I'll be a beep | |||
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"Whats the longest you have went without sex ?" 3 years whilst in a relationship I couldn't have that excuse of a human touch me.  | |||
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"Is it warm enough to be lying on the nudist beach at this time of year? " No! Mad head. | |||
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"Is it warm enough to be lying on the nudist beach at this time of year? No! Mad head." I'm getting a tan ha | |||
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"Whats the longest you have went without sex ? 3 years whilst in a relationship I couldn't have that excuse of a human touch me. "Wow thats a long time hope everything is good now x | |||
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"Does the very thought of Christmas make you go squuueeeee!? "Nope, it makes me eye roll and think of the inevitable d*unkenness, jealousy on my part, and extra work. | |||
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"Whats the longest you have went without sex ? 3 years whilst in a relationship I couldn't have that excuse of a human touch me.
Wow thats a long time hope everything is good now x"Oh yes. The last I heard he was almost in the gutter | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh?" Would my penis satisfy and fulfil you? Won't be offended if you said no lol | |||
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"Whats the longest you have went without sex ? 3 years whilst in a relationship I couldn't have that excuse of a human touch me.
Wow thats a long time hope everything is good now x
Oh yes. The last I heard he was almost in the gutter "Good for you | |||
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"What would the be the best way to illicit a response from you? je ne parle pas anglais" So you respond to everybody that messages you, so long as they type in English? | |||
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"Does the very thought of Christmas make you go squuueeeee!? "Haha I was scrolling back up and saw that question, I just knew it was yours. When are you going to change your avatar to your cock with his Santa hat on? | |||
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"Your fantasy celebrity shag? ....and...Monster Munch or Space Raiders? "Iggy Pop always. Such filth. And beef monster munch. I’d have him feed me one every time he made me cum. And I’d ride him harder for it each time
Would you rather tie someone up or he tied up yourself? | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Would my penis satisfy and fulfil you? Won't be offended if you said no lol" If you think it's just the penis that satisfies and fulfils me then the answer is no. | |||
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"Would I look better if I lost half a stone?" If you weren't left with half a stone of saggy skin then possibly | |||
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"Your fantasy celebrity shag? ....and...Monster Munch or Space Raiders? "Helena Bonham Carter Monster munch. | |||
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"Should I stay or should I go? If I go will it be trouble and if I stay will it be double? " This indecision's bugging me | |||
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"And I'll answer. I may even answer with a question. How d'ya like them apples eh? Would my penis satisfy and fulfil you? Won't be offended if you said no lol If you think it's just the penis that satisfies and fulfils me then the answer is no." No I don't think that peachy I was just asking the question ...same here Im not easily satisfied by just a fanny/pussy/vagina or whatever you want to call it lol | |||
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"Does the very thought of Christmas make you go squuueeeee!?
Haha I was scrolling back up and saw that question, I just knew it was yours.
When are you going to change your avatar to your cock with his Santa hat on? " shall I do that at the official start of the 8 week Christmas build up period, which as any right minded person knows starts with Hallowe’en on Oct 31st! | |||
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"What would the be the best way to illicit a response from you? je ne parle pas anglais So you respond to everybody that messages you, so long as they type in English?" I rarely read messages | |||
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