FabSwingers.com forum: Crap jokes...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...Fire away

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

blue waffle

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

a pile of shit

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

leave them 2 poor girls alone...they have had enough shit 2 deal with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

British Politics...

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Waht do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

He's making a list

He's checking it twice

He's suffering from

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Two snowmen in a field one says to the other "Can you smell carrots?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He's making a list

He's checking it twice

He's suffering from

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder "

Tell him not to bother Mrs A...

The Pussy Posse'll batter him as soon as he opens his own profile...;-)

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

"He's making a list

He's checking it twice

He's suffering from

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Tell him not to bother Mrs A...

The Pussy Posse'll batter him as soon as he opens his own profile...;-)

Lmao I have no control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He's making a list

He's checking it twice

He's suffering from

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Tell him not to bother Mrs A...

The Pussy Posse'll batter him as soon as he opens his own profile...;-)

Lmao I have no control

Ooooohh... What.... No insider assistance...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the Elephant cross the road?

.... Coz it was stapled to the Chicken...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

two cannibals eating a clown, one s cannibal says to the other, does this taste funny to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One cannibal says "I dont like my motherinlaw"

The other says " Never mind... Just eat the chips"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "do you know how to start this".

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By *illyrocCouple
over a year ago

north west

Im sick to Death of people knocking on my door looking for Donations .Just had one woman from the SPERM BANK ,Fook me did i give heeeeer a mouthfull

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two Eliphants fall off a cliff,

Boom Boom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hieght of suspicion..........a nun doing press ups in a cucumber field.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cannibal sat crying by a pile of shit ... his mate asks whats wrong ??

1st canibal says.. i just dumped my girlfriend

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

year 11 english lesson, students (

)

are learning new words

"can anyone give me the meaning of indifferent?"

little suzie gets excited and quickly puts her hand up " me , miss, me"

"OK suzie, what does it mean"

"Marvellous miss"

"Well no it doesn't but i'm intrigued why you thought that"

"well, miss, i was thirsty last night and as i walked to the bathroom i heard mom yell "hmmm that's marvellous" and then i heard dad say "yes it's indifferent""

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Whats yellow and white and goes 125 miles an hour?

A train drivers egg sandwich

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

whats grey and comes in cups : Earl Grey

whats grey and cums in buckets : Elefants

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

2 budgies on a perch - one says "can you smell fish?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

man buys flavoured condoms, says to wife turn the light out and you tell me flavour of condom, lights out wife shouts cheese and onion flavour, hubby replies hang on haven't started yet

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By *ever been kissedMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

why is it known as PMS during womens time of the month?...

cuz MadCowDisease was already taken...

right...where's my helmet

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By *ndrew MannMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Was at a seafood disco last night.......and I pulled a muscle

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By *ndrew MannMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

What kind off bees do you get milk from....

Boobees

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

THE STICKS

what did the letter O say to the number 8?

Nice belt!

(my nephew told me that when he was 6

)

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

THE STICKS

"2 budgies on a perch - one says "can you smell fish?"

that is one of my favourite jokes of all time

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

THE STICKS

I hit the back of this beautiful blonde female's car.... She jumped angrily & shouted " Ram me up the backend... why don't you" . .....................................Thats where the confusion started your honor

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

THE STICKS

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

THE STICKS

I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" so I threw first

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Grab your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

I said to my girlfriend on Saturday: ‘How would you like to go shopping with the girls, get some new shoes, get your hair done in a different style and then go out for a couple of bottles of Chardonnay?’ She said: ‘That sounds brilliant.’ I said: ‘Good - because we’re breaking up.’

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I phoned the local skip hire firm and said "I want a skip outside my house" the bloke said "well I'm not stopping you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mince pie and a sausage roll walk into the pub and the barman says, "Sorry but we don't serve food in here!"

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

I met a transvestite from Greater Manchester yesterday.

He had a Wigan address.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

My girlfriend said I'm too obsessed with The Monkees. She said she was going to leave me if I didn't tone it down a bit.

I thought she was joking at first.

...and then I saw her face.

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

Irishman writes a letter to Tampax complaining, I have been using your product now for the last six months,

I still can't ride a bike play tennis or go swimming!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just got back from the world strawberry picking championships,

some woman with no legs won it!

Jammy cunt!!!!

(sorry about the C word, but it does not work without it!!!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the most popular wine at Christmas dinner?

Do I have to eat the sprouts mum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats green and hangs from trees

Leaves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

St Peter goes to god and says "its no good you'll have to get these gates sorted" God says "never mind Jim'll fix it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?

A rebel without a Claus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read an article about heavy drinking that scared the crap out of me....so thats it for me...no more reading.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

People ask me, "George, you've been happily married now for 40 years. What's your secret?" And I say, " You'll have to speak up, I'm as deaf as a post."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alcohol free beer...

Its like licking your sisters fanny....

The taste is the same but its just not right...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats the fastest thing on the seabed?

a motorpike

whats the 2nd fastest?

a motorpike and sidecarp

whats the 3rd fastest

a motorpike, sidecarp and 2 spare eels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why was the lepers ice hockey match cancelled?

the face off in the corner.

2 lepers playing poker.

the first put downa pair of aces, so the 2nd threw his hand in.

hear about the dyslexic pimp?

he bought a warehouse

hear about the dyslexic devilworshipper?

he sold his soul to santa

i met a dyslexic yorkshireman the other day.

i knew he was because he was wearing a catflap

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whats the fastest cake in the world??

Scone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My life!!!

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By *anda man.Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Just got a Johovas Witness Advent Calender..Everytime you open a door a voice shouts "Fuck-Off"

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Two lads on a street playing and chatting

First lad says "I'm 9, how old is you?"

2nd lad "I dunno."

1st "Tell, me do you love pussy?"

2nd "Whats' that"

1st "You is 8 boy"

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"why was the lepers ice hockey match cancelled?

the face off in the corner.

2 lepers playing poker.

the first put downa pair of aces, so the 2nd threw his hand in.

hear about the dyslexic pimp?

he bought a warehouse

hear about the dyslexic devilworshipper?

he sold his soul to santa

i met a dyslexic yorkshireman the other day.

i knew he was because he was wearing a catflap"

i suffer leprosy, just laughed me head off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just seen the 2012 Man Utd calendar.

Its quite sexually explicit,

Theres a cunt on every page.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Lorry driver goes into a shop and says "here can someone give me a list with this delivery , they're heavy"

Assistant goes outside and says " you wuss, they're tampax, light as a feather."

Driver "But, but they told me at the depot they was man 'ole covers."

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Lorry driver goes into a shop and says "here can someone give me a list with this delivery , they're heavy"

Assistant goes outside and says " you wuss, they're tampax, light as a feather."

Driver "But, but they told me at the depot they was man 'ole covers."

Just found out I was dyslexic last night - went to a toga party dressed as a goat

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By *amslam1000Man
over a year ago

willenhall

did you hear about the dislexic agnostic

he didnt believe in dog

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"did you hear about the dislexic agnostic

he didnt believe in dog"

or the insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

he stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate when people say that you shouldn't give money to homeless people because they're just going to spend it on booze and drugs.

That's what I was going to spend it on anyway.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I was down the snooker hall this afternoon and this guy came up to me and said "What's yer best break"

"98"

"really, are you that good" he asks.

"No, a car ran over me leg"

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