FabSwingers.com forum: Why oh why

By *igertiger OP Couple (MM)
over a year ago

cc hotel

So many profiles start off telling you what they're not looking for....I never get beyond the first line before I'm bored...do they not have an once of common sense on what might attract them to others...guess not!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Its because most people don't read past the first line or two if they read itvat all.

Our profile says what we don't want for that reason. I'm not entirely sure why we bothered because we still get people offering the very things we don't want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mine is a little more positive thankfully

It is very easy to slip into 'no this, no that, no the other' mode though so to a degree I can see why it happens

I've found that my needs and wants are flexible anyway, so what I seek today might not be what I seek tomorrow

I can't be the only one like that

So why make your profile rigid when, in general, there might be some fluidity in what you seek ?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think mine is a bit of both. It did start out with why I was here, what I was looking for, and what I hoped to offer. But after umpteen iterations of (insert stuff here I can't stand) I thought it best to include some stuff I don't like. It's also a good filter as to who has read my profile.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The problem also is that if you mention stuff you don't like after a couple of messages people ask you why you didn't put it on your profile. Its a no win situation really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think mine is a bit of both. It did start out with why I was here, what I was looking for, and what I hoped to offer. But after umpteen iterations of (insert stuff here I can't stand) I thought it best to include some stuff I don't like. It's also a good filter as to who has read my profile. "

Your profile is a good read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It obviously works though,gets rid of the no patience people

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I've given up, mine is perfectly clear what I do and don't want. It still gets ignored. On one recent occasion when I was polite enough to reply, had a nice chat and when asked for a meet politely said no thanks. This led to him implying that I'd somehow wasted his time. I highlighted the fact that if he had taken 30 seconds to read my profile it wouldn't have happened. Sadly I had to block. So, I really don't think it matters whether you have do's or don'ts on a profile, it may as well be blank as it's never read anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I doubt anyone reads any of my profile anyway...theres too many distractions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've given up, mine is perfectly clear what I do and don't want. It still gets ignored. On one recent occasion when I was polite enough to reply, had a nice chat and when asked for a meet politely said no thanks. This led to him implying that I'd somehow wasted his time. I highlighted the fact that if he had taken 30 seconds to read my profile it wouldn't have happened. Sadly I had to block. So, I really don't think it matters whether you have do's or don'ts on a profile, it may as well be blank as it's never read anyway. "

Mine doesnt exactly read as if I am actively playing the game either. And does actually say not meeting. But no one cares, or reads it I suspect

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By *j86bbwWoman
over a year ago

Huddersfield

I've tried not put what i don't want all its a less negative read, it's fair to have something if it really isn't your thing but it's remembering you can just not reply or send a quick no thanks if theres no attraction

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm not so bad anymore, but I first put my don't list on because I felt guilty about not replying to everyone. I figured if they didn't help themselves that's their own fault. (now, I want to give those who do read a bit more of a chance)

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

"So many profiles start off telling you what they're not looking for....I never get beyond the first line before I'm bored...do they not have an once of common sense on what might attract them to others...guess not!!"

Sometimes the list of what we don’t want is a lot shorter than what we do, that’s not really negative as such as it’s logical, people are more likely to read a shorter profile than a longer, the few that do that is and they’re also the ones that may actually respect what we do or don’t want instead of ignoring and trying their luck anyway, it helps separate the genuine from the time wasters, you can see who hasn’t read and is only sending out copy and paste messages, it’s kind of an extra filter, at least, that’s what I do

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