FabSwingers.com forum: Loosing someone

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't, but would respectfully suggest that should you feel that you need help then seek it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get in touch with liferites.org.uk. They are a group of non-denominational ministers and celebrants and bereavement counselling forms a large part of their work. I'm sure they can help you through this difficult time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See your doctor, I lost my sister suddenly in January this year and my doctor sent me for grief counselling it has really helped, sorry for your loss op xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry for your loss kitten. Have you tried your doctor? There are usually local groups or counsellors that could help, and your GP should be able to refer you. They were of great help to my mum when her husband died.

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By *rsSBWoman
over a year ago

toy town

I'm really sorry for your lost. If you are struggling, you should seek help. Sometimes time is not enough, and there's no shame on getting help

Big hugs

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Miss has had bereavement counselling and has been a counsellor. Get her to look at this. Jack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk about it to fellow members of your family?

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

Yeah I have it's tough and a long road as long as you have someone you can talk to or is there for you it will make it easier

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a Doctor's appointment for next week ... Im hoping they can refer me .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talk about it to fellow members of your family?"

They seem to be coping ,and don't understand why im not so a qualified person is my only option.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm really sorry for your lost. If you are struggling, you should seek help. Sometimes time is not enough, and there's no shame on getting help

Big hugs

Ty x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"See your doctor, I lost my sister suddenly in January this year and my doctor sent me for grief counselling it has really helped, sorry for your loss op xx"

I'm sorry for your loss x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

"
it depends on your area. But your doctor would be the best place to start. I recently lost my dad too. And my mum 6 years ago. So sending hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

yes i did when 4 people close to be died within 15 months. its hard going at times but it helped me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey kitten - don’t feel bad about not feeling able to cope as well as your other family members - accept that you are finding it hard and get help. Grief is very strange and it can take a couple of years to come to terms with your loss. A friend of mine lost her husband a year ago and she is still coming to terms with it but it’s getting better and she says the counselling really helped her. Their daughter dealt with it by having a discreet tattoo that she can remember him by every day when she wakes up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

it depends on your area. But your doctor would be the best place to start. I recently lost my dad too. And my mum 6 years ago. So sending hugs x "

Appreciated. I'm sorry for your loss x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey kitten - don’t feel bad about not feeling able to cope as well as your other family members - accept that you are finding it hard and get help. Grief is very strange and it can take a couple of years to come to terms with your loss. A friend of mine lost her husband a year ago and she is still coming to terms with it but it’s getting better and she says the counselling really helped her. Their daughter dealt with it by having a discreet tattoo that she can remember him by every day when she wakes up."

Ty x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

yes i did when 4 people close to be died within 15 months. its hard going at times but it helped me"

I'm so sorry to hear that ...im struggling with one loss ..certainly puts things into perspective x

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"See your doctor, I lost my sister suddenly in January this year and my doctor sent me for grief counselling it has really helped, sorry for your loss op xx

I'm sorry for your loss x"

We all grieve differently honey, I lost my Dad jan 2013 and my mum April 2013, weeks apart it seemed.

People react in different ways to grief, and each one is different.

For me it was a “brave face” in front of my children and family, in my private moments it was heart crushing sobs whilst in the shower (literally sinking to the floor of the shower like you see in a movie) or the middle of the night (or day)... occasionally my husband got the job of just holding me till I stopped crying, but mainly I grieved alone for them.

Other members of my family, my mums sister for instance couldn’t speak to me as I reminded her of her.. which hurt me at the time, but again now, 5 years on , I know it was her grief speaking.

In my private moments I just talked to myself, being an only child, that’s something you inevitably do growing up, talk your problems out with yourself!

I have also, and I have no idea if you believe or not, found the most amazing medium who allows me to talk to my mum through him... if you don’t believe, or the people reading this thread don’t, then the talk of mediums won’t help... but it did and it still does for me.

I’m very glad you have a drs appointment honey, they will help you find the person you need to talk to, and I am so very very sorry for your loss x x

Mrs A x

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Also look up Cruse Bereavement Care. A charity that offers bereavement support and counselling.

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Yep I lost my partner 2 yrs ago ... it really helped me ... it’s not for everyone but give it a go and see what you think ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had counselling for loss, a marriage breakdown rather than a death. It helped me massively x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One way i am finding it helps is I write my dad letters. He used to love to get letters when he was with us.

So I sit and write and tell him all about things. Tell him I miss him etc. It may sound silly but it is helping me.

I have had so much going on that I've not really had much chance to grieve... I'm the one the family relies on and looks to. Despite being one of the youngest. But I have my moments where I just sob. And darkness seems to surround me... hate it. Feels like it's overwhelming and I can't breathe.

But the letters definitely help me.

With my mum id talk to a photo I had.. just sharing my day as I would have done when she was here. But for some reason although I was closer to my mum.. losing my dad has hit me a lot harder.

Sorry for your loss though and hope the doctor can help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"See your doctor, I lost my sister suddenly in January this year and my doctor sent me for grief counselling it has really helped, sorry for your loss op xx

I'm sorry for your loss x

We all grieve differently honey, I lost my Dad jan 2013 and my mum April 2013, weeks apart it seemed.

People react in different ways to grief, and each one is different.

Other members of my family, my mums sister for instance couldn’t speak to me as I reminded her of her.. which hurt me at the time, but again now, 5 years on , I know it was her grief speaking.

In my private moments I just talked to myself, being an only child, that’s something you inevitably do growing up, talk your problems out with yourself!

I’m very glad you have a drs appointment honey, they will help you find the person you need to talk to, and I am so very very sorry for your loss x x

Mrs A x

I'm reacting the way your describing .It's enlightening to hear as i thought i was going mad.

Thankyou x

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

I lost someone very close to me 14 years ago and I know how tough it can be and if you need anyone to talk to i'm here for you

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"See your doctor, I lost my sister suddenly in January this year and my doctor sent me for grief counselling it has really helped, sorry for your loss op xx

I'm sorry for your loss x

We all grieve differently honey, I lost my Dad jan 2013 and my mum April 2013, weeks apart it seemed.

People react in different ways to grief, and each one is different.

Other members of my family, my mums sister for instance couldn’t speak to me as I reminded her of her.. which hurt me at the time, but again now, 5 years on , I know it was her grief speaking.

In my private moments I just talked to myself, being an only child, that’s something you inevitably do growing up, talk your problems out with yourself!

I’m very glad you have a drs appointment honey, they will help you find the person you need to talk to, and I am so very very sorry for your loss x x

Mrs A x

I'm reacting the way your describing .It's enlightening to hear as i thought i was going mad.

Thankyou x "

Chin up my darlin x

It never goes away but it does get easier I PROMISE x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

Yes ........ after loosing my younger brother to suicide.......... lots of experience and advice if you would like it, just message me xx

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By *ame-room-no-swapCouple
over a year ago

Taunton

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

Samaritans are always good listeners

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Talk about it to fellow members of your family?

They seem to be coping ,and don't understand why im not so a qualified person is my only option.

Talking to someone close is rarely the answer - they see you as they expect you to be & not what you are going through.

It’s 6 years for me this month & I still dip in & out of counselling. Everyone is different & you need someone neutral & professional to help.

And remember, if it doesn’t help now, you can always try again further down the line. Counsellors are like anyone - some you click with, some you don’t. Some come at the right time, others t seems like it’s out of sync with your brain.

There is also Cruse, the bereavement charity. They can help providing support & assistance. And lean on your GP too.

And don’t worry if the rest of your family seem to be coping. They’re not you, and you’re all entitled to deal differently

Big hugs hun xx

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"See your doctor, I lost my sister suddenly in January this year and my doctor sent me for grief counselling it has really helped, sorry for your loss op xx

I'm sorry for your loss x

We all grieve differently honey, I lost my Dad jan 2013 and my mum April 2013, weeks apart it seemed.

People react in different ways to grief, and each one is different.

Other members of my family, my mums sister for instance couldn’t speak to me as I reminded her of her.. which hurt me at the time, but again now, 5 years on , I know it was her grief speaking.

In my private moments I just talked to myself, being an only child, that’s something you inevitably do growing up, talk your problems out with yourself!

I’m very glad you have a drs appointment honey, they will help you find the person you need to talk to, and I am so very very sorry for your loss x x

Mrs A x

I'm reacting the way your describing .It's enlightening to hear as i thought i was going mad.

Thankyou x

Chin up my darlin x

It never goes away but it does get easier I PROMISE x x x"

Echo this. And you’re definitely not going mad. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One way i am finding it helps is I write my dad letters. He used to love to get letters when he was with us.

So I sit and write and tell him all about things. Tell him I miss him etc. It may sound silly but it is helping me.

But the letters definitely help me.

With my mum id talk to a photo I had.. just sharing my day as I would have done when she was here. But for some reason although I was closer to my mum.. losing my dad has hit me a lot harder.

Sorry for your loss though and hope the doctor can help. "

Thankyou x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone

Love & hugs X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you know when you need help?

I'm reacting differently to losing my mum to when I lost my dad and my sister.

How do you know what's normal and when to get help?.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you know when you need help?

I'm reacting differently to losing my mum to when I lost my dad and my sister.

How do you know what's normal and when to get help?."

For me im finding day to day my grief getting worse.

I don't think there is a normal when your grieve, i do know that this is a different feeling to when iv lost other family members.

I can't string a sentence together without crying.Im not sleeping or eating properly.

I know i need help.Asking the question on here confirmed that .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you everyone

Love & hugs X"

Take care x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay strong, easier said than done I know, but I've been there and we will all go through it. It's sad part of life, just think about all the good times, it will get better over time. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes to all of the above - we all cope in different ways and it can take years to resolve but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you - you’re not mad, just hurting and sad. My friend was put in touch with Cruse by her Gp and it helped her enormously - don’t be afraid to let it all out lovely, nobody with a heart would blame you or tell you to pull yourself together. Best wishes and good luck.

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By *eelouWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Has anyone had any experience of Bereavement Counselling?

I lost my father recently and i admit im struggling to cope with his loss.

Sadly I have yes. I lost my mum 4 years ago and Marie Curie stepped I to give me bereavement counselling. I found it very helpful and ended up going for nearly 2 years. I still find it very hard to cope but the counseling at the beginning definitely helped me a lot.

So sorry for your loss, I hope you find a way to help you thru this horrible time. Big hugs to you xxxx

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