FabSwingers.com forum: They must think we're stupid

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seen on the back of a pack of Andrex Washlets: 5 step diagrammatic instructions on how to wipe your arse. Is that really necessary?

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

A lot of people forget step 3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Instructions on shampoo.

Contents hot, on a cup designed for hot drinks...

Its a sign of the times unfortunately. Even those that would have been wiped out by natural selection now get help !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A packet of peanuts with "warning may contain nuts" written on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seen on the back of a pack of Andrex Washlets: 5 step diagrammatic instructions on how to wipe your arse. Is that really necessary?

What were they x

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By *VBethTV/TS
over a year ago

Chester

1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There are five steps!?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

That's it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

Lol enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Warning signs are the number one cause for the overpopulation crisis.

We need to remove them all to let natural selection do it's thing & rid ourselves of all the fuckwits of the world

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Instructions on a blow torch...do not use as a hairdryer

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Ew.

Thank you for ruining my breakfast

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Instructions on a blow torch...do not use as a hairdryer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are five steps!?

I'm sure we could add more. They seem to have forgotten the most important steps though.

Step 1: find toilet.

Step 2: pull down pants.

Step 3: lift lid on toilet.

Step 4: sit on toilet seat.

Step 5: read newspaper.

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

"1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

What the hell os a washlet?

Pat it dry with loo-roll.. lots of rolled up loo roll.in your crack.for the rest if the day after it's disintegration.

If 3 to 4 shits are required why not just make a single sheet the same length as 3 and a half.

My favourite is the teeny weeny hole dispensers that snap one sheet at a time. They should be banned..

Why do McD's dispensers have sharp teeth underneath where the paper comes out? Many times gone fishing for the end of the roll and been bitten by them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always construct a crash mat. Can't be done with splashes. Is that an option on the back?

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

What the hell os a washlet?

Pat it dry with loo-roll.. lots of rolled up loo roll.in your crack.for the rest if the day after it's disintegration.

If 3 to 4 shits are required why not just make a single sheet the same length as 3 and a half.

My favourite is the teeny weeny hole dispensers that snap one sheet at a time. They should be banned..

Why do McD's dispensers have sharp teeth underneath where the paper comes out? Many times gone fishing for the end of the roll and been bitten by them."

‘3 to 4 shits’

I love auto correct

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There are five steps!?

I'm sure we could add more. They seem to have forgotten the most important steps though.

Step 1: find toilet.

Step 2: pull down pants.

Step 3: lift lid on toilet.

Step 4: sit on toilet seat.

Step 5: read newspaper.

There should be special instructions for parents of young children

6. Answer random queries about homework/hamster/life.

7. Refuse to answer "what are you doing in there"

8. Shout instructions through door where to find clean underwear

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ew.

Thank you for ruining my breakfast

Sorry but this is clearly important information designed to ensure our future survival as a species.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never forget on my daughters buggy. In big writing it said “remove baby before folding” !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

2 is wrong. We all know it's better to cram it in there and rummage it around like it's a little piggy snuffling for nuts until half of it is shoved up your arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Dogs must be carried on escalator "

So if you don't have a dog you have to use the stairs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never forget on my daughters buggy. In big writing it said “remove baby before folding” !! "

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Crying with some of these haha. Forgot to add for us ladies if its a public loo. Spend about half hour stickin loo.roll around the bog seat before sitting or learn how to hover haha.

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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

"Seen on the back of a pack of Andrex Washlets: 5 step diagrammatic instructions on how to wipe your arse. Is that really necessary?

Its the same on most products it probably says not to ingest either its all about making sure they don't get sued for incorrect use.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Crying with some of these haha. Forgot to add for us ladies if its a public loo. Spend about half hour stickin loo.roll around the bog seat before sitting or learn how to hover haha."

Is it possible to hover while taking a dump?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

Putting crap on your phone?

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By *VBethTV/TS
over a year ago

Chester

"1. Use 3-4 sheets of loo roll per wipe.

2. Wipe from front to back until clean.

3. Use 1-2 washlets to feel cleaner.

4. Pat dry with loo roll.

5. Always wash hands with soap.

Guess what I'm doing while I read the forum.

Putting crap on your phone?

I followed step 5!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be a dental nurse.

Instructions on the box of the white fillings gel 'do not push forcefully into inner ear'

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By *anOnFire69Man
over a year ago

The bedroom

I bought a pack of indigestion tablets with a security sticker saying "WARNING REMOVE STICKER BEFORE MICROWAVING"

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

It may sound like stating the obvious, but I'd guess this is to protect the manufacturers from liability claims.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought a packet of roasted peanuts,and guess what it said in the back?

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

"Instructions on shampoo.

Contents hot, on a cup designed for hot drinks...

Its a sign of the times unfortunately. Even those that would have been wiped out by natural selection now get help !!

Instructions have always been on shampoo since I was a kid.

Wash, rinse, wash, rinse.

Don't get in eyes!

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

"Crying with some of these haha. Forgot to add for us ladies if its a public loo. Spend about half hour stickin loo.roll around the bog seat before sitting or learn how to hover haha.

Is it possible to hover while taking a dump?"
kills ya legs bug great for the thigh muscles haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saw a notice the other day. " Dogs must be carried on the escalator."

It took me ages to find one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Saw a notice the other day. " Dogs must be carried on the escalator."

It took me ages to find one."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read the instructions - I've been doing it wrong all this time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear, should of read the instructions!!! I've just eaten the whole pack (sorry I'm just talking shit)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In with a bottle of children's cough syrup: may cause drowsiness, do not drive or operate machinery after taking this medication.

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