FabSwingers.com forum: What you see isn’t necessarily what you get!?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m quite sure most of us on here will say that what you see of us in the forums is representative and true of the “real” us.

But is there anything that “Internet” you doesn’t necessarily show or any parts of your personality that is different in real life?

I try to be as true to myself as I can be, and I guess it’s up to those that have met me in real life to pass judgment on that, but I definitely come across as more confident here than in real life I think.

I’m actually full of insecurity and quite shy and get a little nervous before meeting new people for the first time.

The very thought of attending and walking into a big Fab social for example would take me right out of my comfort zone and would be my personal vision of hell!

What doesn’t your online presence show of you? Or is it truly a case of ‘what you see is what you get’?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I try not to show any vulnerability or much personal information. Nobody on line knows the real me.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think I'm pretty much me, maybe I don't show my sadness at times, but that's generally when I know I'm being a Muppet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m nicer in person. I adopt a fuck off and leave me alone attitude online as it keeps the asshats at bay. Mostly.

I am very shy in person and that doesn’t come across online.

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

I don't think we're any different on the web than we are in person...No airs and graces, what you see is what you get.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

My chins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm, I’m many respects it is a case of what you see is what you get with me, but I have a public persona that I put on when I meet new people, but I’m very shy and nervous in reality. I’m not confident but have coping strategies that I use to hide that. It’s my emotional vulnerability that I keep hidden from everyone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I could say I'm less full on and a bit more chilled out, but I'm not! I do have my quiet moments and I'm a great agony aunt but the mad one inside always breaks out!

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a bit more eloquent online. I can edit and spellcheck. Other than that I didn’t not think there’s much difference.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I wish I could say I'm less full on and a bit more chilled out, but I'm not! I do have my quiet moments and I'm a great agony aunt but the mad one inside always breaks out!

Peach x"

No shit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am who I am and I don't try to portray anything other.

I'll leave it up to the people I've met to make that judgment.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

I think I come across differently on the forums than through messages. I think messages are closer to the real me (especially if I've been chatting a long time).

In real life, I am very shy unless I know you well. I have gone to socials and it was touch and go as to whether I would actually make the walk from my hotel to the pub!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My chins"
...that made me smile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm alot less broken online.

I use more words in real life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In real life I’d never shamefully bump my own threads so obviously either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm alot less broken online.

I use more words in real life. "

And drink more tea.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I think I’m pretty much what you see is what you get. I tend to hold back on personal details because it’s not necessary to disclose my vanilla life

I’m certainly fab me! Approachable, confident, good fun and up for fun with the right people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with your post.

People would probably be surprised but when I first meet someone I’m actually pretty shy and quiet!

It takes me a while to truly open up and show the real bubbly outgoing me to someone new due to having anxiety, it’s far less severe now than it used to be & my confidence is growing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m nicer in person. I adopt a fuck off and leave me alone attitude online as it keeps the asshats at bay. Mostly.

I am very shy in person and that doesn’t come across online."

This!

I am very direct online & some people misinterpret it as being rude when it’s far from, it just cuts out the bullshit. Far easier to be direct and to the point online than it is in person.

I’m much softer and fluffier in person!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In real life I’d never shamefully bump my own threads so obviously either

*shameLESSly ... oops there I go again!!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

People have called me cold, heartless and aloof on here which is so far from the real me. I'm quite shy and not that confident in myself but once I'm comfortable with someone I'm a pussy cat.

I very nearly didn't go to the last Manchester social as I had a bit of a wobble at my hotel when the nerves set in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is true for me. I do not actually fuck watermelon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a terrible flirt in the real world

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I pretty much the same but more chatty in person as I know my text doesn't always articulate what I want to say exactly as I'm conscious of my dyslexia and can't always type the words the way I want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm exactly the same really. I do go to the socials but I get nervous as hell, I'm much better 1to 1

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It is true for me. I do not actually fuck watermelon.

You don’t know how devastating this revelation is!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a little ray of sunshine in real life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people with long memories may think the first few posts I posted when I joined that long 6 months ago were somehow the real me. Quite to the contrary. When I joined I didn't think I'd make any friends on here so I just ploughed in writing provocative stuff to stir debate. It was easy to do that because I didn't give a fuck if people got completely the wrong end of the stick and misjudged me.

Over time, though, I've been more comfortable being more real on here, complicated and changeable at times, but a full character rather than something more 2 dimensional. Part of this is because I've made some nice friends and connections through it. But it's also because I've given up trying to use this site as a sex site (where I always have to be amazingly attractive and saying exactly the right thing all the time to try and get sex) and started just seeing it as a place where I can connect with interesting people... some of them quite coincidentally very sexy women too

But in general I don't subscribe to the view that our forum posts encapsulate us. They're just a small window on us. I choose to share perhaps a slightly broader window than some. But even this is still just a window.

But I should say that if anyone has debated me on a serious issue and thinks I'm quite serious and intense then they're missing out on what they'd find if they were sat with me debating... that although I can be quite passionate, sometimes stubborn in my views, and intense. I have a gentle heart and often poke fun of myself and concede points in the process. I'm only a hard head on the page. I'm a softy in real life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and like Dan and others I'm also quite scared of social gatherings. It takes huge guts for me to go and I often feel like a bit of a lemon. I'm much much much better one on one... or after a few drinks and a dance and a kiss or two

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’m even more of a miserable, whinging bastard in real life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I’m funnier in real life. I come over as quite plodding here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kicking the doors when i get let down

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Im not sure really you would need to ask someone Ive met

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to think the online me is very close to the me you meet in the flesh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a typical Gemini......... enough said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a multitude of different versions of everyone. The you that you believe yourself to be is unique to you and only you. The idea of you that others have is unique to them & never are two the same. Because every single one of us is unique.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

In terms of opinions and the way I look at life I'm the same here as I am in person - in terms of outgoingness however I'm a lot more reserved in person than I am on here and tend to be the one standing quietly listening while others are chatting away in group situations until I am comfortable - one to one I'm not so bad, although am very conscious of awkward pauses in conversation when I can literally feel my brain cells working like mad to think of something to say. Whereas on here that blank space is filled as communication is less immediate and I have time to compose my thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to say I'm pretty much the same here as I am in real life. I'm a very quiet person, never the life and soul of the party, I just try to blend in. I have very little self confidence which I guess puts people off me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like to say I'm pretty much the same here as I am in real life. I'm a very quiet person, never the life and soul of the party, I just try to blend in. I have very little self confidence which I guess puts people off me. "

That's not how you come across on here. I think you're lovely. I'd happily invite you to any party of mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bite my tongue more on here.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

I post very little to do with my political opinions online anymore, it's not even that I have any particularly strong views but certainly on Facebook in the past I've had some major spats with friends I otherwise get on well with, particularly around election time when everyone starts trying to tell everyone else how they should vote. So I keep that side between me and the ballot box now, as far as my social media goes I'm just neutral.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Im completely different in the real world .... I dont share any of my life on here ... I just find this fun

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I'm pretty authentic on here, this is the real me, but there are obviously areas I keep private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im pretty much the same in both worlds im not overly confident to begin with but as soon as i feel comfortable around people im ok

I get what the op means about going to a social i wish i was brave enough to attend one

But at the moment im workimg my ass off trying to build my confidence up and fingers crossed in a few months i might brave a social

After that who knows

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm a lot more confident here than in real life. In real life I'm quieter and quite shy until I'm comfortable with someone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a lot more confident here than in real life. In real life I'm quieter and quite shy until I'm comfortable with someone x"

Thats me to a tee

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

It really doesn’t show how shy or quiet I am or that I’m a nervous soul. I only share so much of myself on here but what I do share is very me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That I'm a bit of an idiot (I don't think so anyway).

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