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Dummies Guide to Fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If you had to contribute to a Dummies Guide to Fab, what would you choose to add to the guide?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you had to contribute to a Dummies Guide to Fab, what would you choose to add to the guide? "

Don't mind me,I am just here taking notes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don’t need 137 pictures of your cock taken at slightly different angles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don’t need 137 pictures of your cock taken at slightly different angles "

Lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

If it'd get a drink thrown in your face in a pub (or you thrown out), it's probably not a good first message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sky remote is not a unit of measure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't brag about your sexual prowess

It makes you sound like a cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A random first message, asking someone if they'd let you eat their shit, will likely not result in a reply

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Please don’t insist you “can” make me squirt GUARENTEED!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A random first message, asking someone if they'd let you eat their shit, will likely not result in a reply "

Wtf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A random first message, asking someone if they'd let you eat their shit, will likely not result in a reply

Wtf "

I kid you not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it'd get a drink thrown in your face in a pub (or you thrown out), it's probably not a good first message. "

So what kinda message would you consider replying to... genuinely asking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you say hi to someone 20 times, with no reply. Chances are, it's not going to be lucky number 21

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A random first message, asking someone if they'd let you eat their shit, will likely not result in a reply

Wtf

I kid you not "

You mean "shit you not"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A random first message, asking someone if they'd let you eat their shit, will likely not result in a reply

Wtf

I kid you not

You mean "shit you not" "

Bugger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message

Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message

Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either "

Is a compliment acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accept that whatever you do will be wrong.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Try turning it off and then on again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message

Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either

Is a compliment acceptable?"

Sure

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I will add...try not to wear a pink check shirt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don’t ask people if they’ll do an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ as your opening message

Don’t describe what you’re going to do to me in your opening message either

Is a compliment acceptable?

Sure"

Good to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don’t need 137 pictures of your cock taken at slightly different angles "

But not everybody has a vagina

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell "

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Dare I say it "read a profile"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dare I say it "read a profile""

How dare you!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don’t need 137 pictures of your cock taken at slightly different angles "

Thank fuck for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't attach your picture to every single message you send. I've had a few men that message me and attach a pic - OK great, so I reply, they reply... Attaching the same pic again and again and again...

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell

"

Oh yes! BINGO there!!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell

Oh yes! BINGO there!!! Lol"

Good thing that's what I am doing...not that it gets me any responses lol....or maybe I am just not fit enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell

Oh yes! BINGO there!!! Lol

Good thing that's what I am doing...not that it gets me any responses lol....or maybe I am just not fit enough "

It’s because you don’t have a vagina

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Copy and paste messages are obvious. If you are going to send one, be clever and edit a few things to make it personal.... Though we can still tell

Oh yes! BINGO there!!! Lol

Good thing that's what I am doing...not that it gets me any responses lol....or maybe I am just not fit enough

It’s because you don’t have a vagina "

How do you know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on the forums for a laugh have a read. Some good stuff on here . Don’t expect much from the actual site and you should be find

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Advice to new fellas

Don't go making a post in the forums because youve had one ickle tiny knock back it doesn't look good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advice to new fellas

Don't go making a post in the forums because youve had one ickle tiny knock back it doesn't look good "

What do you mean? Like that someone's ranting about getting a response he/she didn't expect?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a membership name, profile icon, photos, profile text, status updates, private messages, and the forums as your toolset with which to convey that you may be worth meeting... think!

Is a guy called "deathspunk", with a profile icon of a flaccid hairy willy, photos of him in a grotty bathroom with a turd floating in the loo in the background, profile text in caps RANTING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY PUSSY, daily updates calling everyone fakes, and who sends out private messages like "do you fuck?" and then comes onto the forums to gripe about not getting fucked yet... is that really a winning use of all those tools?

Just think. That's all. Think

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

This isnt instantshag.com

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It looks extremely desperate when you send your number in your opening message. And very daft.

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Or rent a ghost!

Eh? What?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Advice to new fellas

Don't go making a post in the forums because youve had one ickle tiny knock back it doesn't look good

What do you mean? Like that someone's ranting about getting a response he/she didn't expect?"

Pretty much i often see new guys moaning about getting knocked back deleted or blocked after one message sent i know getting rejected hurts but come on if youve only just joined and been knocked back straight away then move on dont need to rant about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

start off with low expectations and you won't be disappointed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"start off with low expectations and you won't be disappointed "

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont run before u can walk meaning dont jump in straight away chat to people build connections then ask for a meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Great contributions so far. Let’s hope they are used, we can live in hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and guys and girls don't get all insulting if u don't hear back from someone as fab states no reply equals no interest move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be prepared to show yourself. If you aren’t prepared to provide some indication of your body shape beyond your cock, people will not want to meet you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take it all with a big lump of salt

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Don’t assume.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Be prepared to show yourself. If you aren’t prepared to provide some indication of your body shape beyond your cock, people will not want to meet you. "

Didn’t realise you had such tight nipples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you message a couples profile addressing the woman as a worthless fuck toy, ignore the respect and bond that's in a swinging relationship and make it all about what you wanna do with ya shitty cock. Or demand sex from her as and when requested, inquire about the fact that you are near by and this is the only reason to ride an unsolicited wank bank. Or my personal favorite asking the lady if she wants to go for an ole ride behind the mans back, quick wee one just. Wankers of fab that make it harder for decent blokes on here, shame

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Short version, just don't be a dickhead

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Find out what swinging is actually about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never use the word 'destroy' in relation to sex.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Don't be dull.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Your profile can make you or break you here.

It's your pitch to be noticed and the more work you put in the better chance you will have in getting enquiries.

Likewise, it will be a the first thing those you message will want to see before considering replying.

In short, effort does improve the chances of getting rewards.

Anf finally, take rejection on the chin and move on, without resorting to childish petulant insults

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a nice knob but do not think through it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont take yourself - or fab too seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you had to contribute to a Dummies Guide to Fab, what would you choose to add to the guide? "
a dummies forever not just for Xmas only 107 days till you guessed it Santa's here

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"If it'd get a drink thrown in your face in a pub (or you thrown out), it's probably not a good first message.

So what kinda message would you consider replying to... genuinely asking"

I think (to the extent that blanket advice is useful because everyone's individual), the best template is a) reasons why you like my profile*, b) what you think we have in common, and c) what you have to offer. I'm personally put off by too explicit immediately ("I want to X your Y" is bad; "I see you're interested in X, I enjoy this about X" is better). Apart from the fact that you're discussing sex immediately, consider the fact that you're approaching a stranger: be polite, respectful, non-creepy, and be prepared to take no for an answer. It also has to be different and pique my interest somehow, but that's impossible to quantify.

* For me "love your pictures" alone won't do it, but that's just me. Ditto "Fab puts us nearby".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be a gent - not a prick

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Remember to put the warning about Sydney University in your profile text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember to put the warning about Sydney University in your profile text. "
Ha hey if that actually worked wouldn't it be amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It looks extremely desperate when you send your number in your opening message. And very daft. "

Or your status. I've seen an unbelievable amount of numbers and postcodes shared in the updates section! Yes, you might take anyone, but don't be obvious about it and pay some mind to your safety!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "

Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.

Better?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "
help the man then, whats the secret to your success?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "

Hey, you could look at it as a guide to higher odds of getting laid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.

Better?"

Thank you! Now we’re talking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to a person and then add them on facebook nothing says I love you like a restraining order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.

Better?

Thank you! Now we’re talking "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Hey, you could look at it as a guide to higher odds of getting laid. "

really, advice from here?

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.

Better?"

We had four of those messages on Friday night! Three of them were off James Rampton though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Every woman, man and couple on here wants Fuck you, just message saying 'hi' and attach a picture of your genitals and you will be balls deep/air tight within the hour.

Better?

We had four of those messages on Friday night! Three of them were off James Rampton though! "

in your dreams, airtight omg

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I've read your profile and I know your not seeking ....but I just thought I'd ask "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I've read your profile and I know your not seeking ....but I just thought I'd ask " "
omg that's the pits isn't it I get that a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful."

This is awesome advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful.

This is awesome advice "

is his name Oscar by any chance?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"You have a membership name, profile icon, photos, profile text, status updates, private messages, and the forums as your toolset with which to convey that you may be worth meeting... think!

Is a guy called "deathspunk", with a profile icon of a flaccid hairy willy, photos of him in a grotty bathroom with a turd floating in the loo in the background, profile text in caps RANTING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY PUSSY, daily updates calling everyone fakes, and who sends out private messages like "do you fuck?" and then comes onto the forums to gripe about not getting fucked yet... is that really a winning use of all those tools?

Just think. That's all. Think "

Lol he exists!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make 'em laugh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself to be fair, unless your a complete tool then I don't think this is the right place for ya. Be truthful, respectful and honest and funny... What more can you ask for?

It's pointless banging the drum about this that and the other, saying your a spit for Vernon Kay when in fact your more of a Peter Kay.

Don't take yourself or fab too seriously, you get knockbacks all the time. Just brush yourself off and try again.

Reading profiles... obvious thing to do.

Get on the forums, take hints and tips off people and you should be ok.

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Fab can be FAB.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

How do I get on instashag.com please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't go chasing rainbows you never find them

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Hey, you could look at it as a guide to higher odds of getting laid. "

this definitely

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By *ame-room-no-swapCouple
over a year ago

Taunton


"If you had to contribute to a Dummies Guide to Fab, what would you choose to add to the guide? "

To people who write on their profile that messages and invite from single men will be deleted :

Just filter them out.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"Gents, when you message a married couple and directly address the female then please treat it as if you were talking face to face, and husband is stood behind you with a cricket bat. Be respectful."

This one actually made me laugh out loud

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Dont take yourself - or fab too seriously."

This one 100 per cent....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it'd get a drink thrown in your face in a pub (or you thrown out), it's probably not a good first message. "

That should be on the warning page every time they send a message!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dont take yourself - or fab too seriously."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!! "

Fab is frequently a very negative experience.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Fab is frequently a very negative experience."

Why are you here then?

I didn't read any of the above responses as "negative", just some of the common horror stories that we talk about on a regular basis!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A lot of these should be added to the fab terms and conditions but it won't stop the plonkers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have a membership name, profile icon, photos, profile text, status updates, private messages, and the forums as your toolset with which to convey that you may be worth meeting... think!

Is a guy called "deathspunk", with a profile icon of a flaccid hairy willy, photos of him in a grotty bathroom with a turd floating in the loo in the background, profile text in caps RANTING ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY PUSSY, daily updates calling everyone fakes, and who sends out private messages like "do you fuck?" and then comes onto the forums to gripe about not getting fucked yet... is that really a winning use of all those tools?

Just think. That's all. Think

Lol he exists!"

My sincere apologies to Deathspunk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of these should be added to the fab terms and conditions but it won't stop the plonkers "

One of the biggest problems with men on Fab is that many don't read anything written here - if everything was pictorial with a line through the forbidden actions then maybe it would work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is possibly the most depressing thread there is. Read it back, I don’t think there is one positive comment. So much negativity!!

Fab is frequently a very negative experience.

Why are you here then?

I didn't read any of the above responses as "negative", just some of the common horror stories that we talk about on a regular basis!"

Occasionally someone says something funny, and I have a high tolerance for judgemental fucktards.

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By *orningtonCroissantMan
over a year ago

notts and humberside

Don’t expect sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience is the key lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont ask if you can just play with one half of a couple, or expect a couple to play with just the male because "she's not meeting right now".

You wouldn't buy a car and ask for it without doors so enjoy the full package or find something that suits your requirements elsewhere.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden


"Fab can be FAB. "

...it's also a misnomer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of these should be added to the fab terms and conditions but it won't stop the plonkers

One of the biggest problems with men on Fab is that many don't read anything written here - if everything was pictorial with a line through the forbidden actions then maybe it would work "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wake up people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you ask for advice don't expect to get the advice you ask for

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By *ediMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"Please don’t insist you “can” make me squirt GUARENTEED!! "

Haha

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Interact with people as if you are sitting face to face and have a positive attitude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't join serious conversation with a cock avatar anything you say can't be taken seriously

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't join serious conversation with a cock avatar anything you say can't be taken seriously "

Haha! Always makes me laugh when i see that

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

Read a profile that interests you at least twice before messaging. It can help avoid all sorts of mixed messages and wasted time.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

People that demand photos need to remember to put theirs up to lol.

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