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Recovery week 13

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Soooooo people probably get fed up of my posts, moans and worries during my recovery process.

So last week I had a traumatic episode which caused me to have a bad depression day which I did do well after support and love from fab ppl.

So everything been going great lots walks and pushing myself to do bit more, I’ve had so bits where body saying slow down...an have a rest days which I have avoided lol (idiot).

So today had an interview for job where I work to advance up the ladder, but I didn’t get the job boooooo. Feedback was my presentation was amazing best they seen, I answered all questions to high standard but my problem was the job I went for the other person had been doin the role as temp basis for last year. so they decided give it to her even though I was better in interview. Am annoyed with it cos I went for the temp version last year and if I was told it was that role I would left it cos the person who got the job didn’t have a good interview but worked under one of the interviews previously.

So this made me annoyed as I really wanted the job, I spent a week producing my presentation researching and reading literature to back everything up.

I have another interview Monday which I was torn if wanted cos I love we’re j work an what I do but I deserve the raise for responsibility and pay.

Plus after today an last year it’s pissed me off lol esp as other person who went for job came to me months ago am said how I teach her stuff and better at the job but it was her connections.

Anyways my leg has been ok till today bein annoyed an peed I went shopping for jeans as mine don’t fit due to increase weight as not as mobile and all my other jeans are skinny on legs which ain’t good due to operation lol

I ended walking 6148 steps an most done was like 4500 lol so my knee is aching.

Am ok except cried a lot

I balled eyes out when home cos interview and pain I then fell into putty, hate, regret I’m scared my depression will return and destroy my work and it also hangs in balance cos in 3 weeks is anniversary of when I was assaulted

Sorry this is not me wishing or hoping for chat, support and sympathy but me just documenting something I need to help me process

Obviously lol if anyone wants to give me hope, support and love (vanilla or kinky sexual lol)

Thanks for reading

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Big big man hug ...you did fantastically well with your walking... good luck with the job interview on Monday

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for that mate means loads

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

OP would you say you are clinically depressed or just feeling a bit blue due to circumstances? Have you told your GP? If you are not on medication of any sort I recommend the supplement 5htp as an alternative. Obviously do your research first and do not mix with antidepressants. I am using it to help give me unbroken sleep and so far so good but it also benefits depression sufferers as it regulates and boosts serotonin and melatonin. I would say keep challenging yourself but do not put too much pressure on yourself either. Keep sharing online if you feel it helps. All the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep at it OP, every week getting stronger! It sounds like the job was always going to go to the incumbent, so well done for performing well and carry that into future interviews!

When you’re down I hope you’re able to reach out for support and I hope things get better as each stage of the recovery progresses!

Keep posting how things are going if it’s therapeutic for you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Keep at it OP, every week getting stronger! It sounds like the job was always going to go to the incumbent, so well done for performing well and carry that into future interviews!

When you’re down I hope you’re able to reach out for support and I hope things get better as each stage of the recovery progresses!

Keep posting how things are going if it’s therapeutic for you! "

Thank you I feel blessed and most times it’s great and am sooooo proud but everything got to me yesterday and I will be ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the messages and the well wishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP would you say you are clinically depressed or just feeling a bit blue due to circumstances? Have you told your GP? If you are not on medication of any sort I recommend the supplement 5htp as an alternative. Obviously do your research first and do not mix with antidepressants. I am using it to help give me unbroken sleep and so far so good but it also benefits depression sufferers as it regulates and boosts serotonin and melatonin. I would say keep challenging yourself but do not put too much pressure on yourself either. Keep sharing online if you feel it helps. All the best. "

I have tried 5htp supplement when I was feeling at my wits end with things a while ago, it alleviated most of the symptoms of depression and gave me a great boost, had a few minor stomachs problems, nothing too serious. A whole lot better than the prescription pills the doctor gives you. It may not be the answer for you man, everyone's body and brain are different, there is an answer though for everyone. Nothing is hopeless you will get though this. Reach out to someone in your life, grab life by the balls, do something different and challenging. All the best with the future my friend , I truely believe you can overcome this and you should to! (do some research into ketamine trials, not advocating drugs but have read some fascinating stuff about its effect on clinically depressive soilders with PTSD and it completely turned around there lives. ) 3 3 3 lots of love xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP would you say you are clinically depressed or just feeling a bit blue due to circumstances? Have you told your GP? If you are not on medication of any sort I recommend the supplement 5htp as an alternative. Obviously do your research first and do not mix with antidepressants. I am using it to help give me unbroken sleep and so far so good but it also benefits depression sufferers as it regulates and boosts serotonin and melatonin. I would say keep challenging yourself but do not put too much pressure on yourself either. Keep sharing online if you feel it helps. All the best.

I have tried 5htp supplement when I was feeling at my wits end with things a while ago, it alleviated most of the symptoms of depression and gave me a great boost, had a few minor stomachs problems, nothing too serious. A whole lot better than the prescription pills the doctor gives you. It may not be the answer for you man, everyone's body and brain are different, there is an answer though for everyone. Nothing is hopeless you will get though this. Reach out to someone in your life, grab life by the balls, do something different and challenging. All the best with the future my friend , I truely believe you can overcome this and you should to! (do some research into ketamine trials, not advocating drugs but have read some fascinating stuff about its effect on clinically depressive soilders with PTSD and it completely turned around there lives. ) 3 3 3 lots of love xx"

Oh I use 5htp

I find once a week it works well and allows me sleep rest time I get few hours like last few days had 1-3 hours a day max

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