FabSwingers.com forum: Dirty Jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Best dirty jokes, no matter how old and tired they are

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

By *punkymonkey40Man
over a year ago

derby

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES

The missus bought a Paperback,

down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;...

T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well;

She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like

and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My God what had I done!

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;

Of what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey!!